View Full Version : Fathers day for single mummies
Femme-Fetale
19-08-2006, 19:57
I was wondering, what did other single mummies do,(past and present) when it came to fathers day?
For mother’s day just passed, all I got was a txt msg, saying happy mothers day etc and how lucky Z is to have me as his mummy. Nothing fancy, but its something at least LOL.
I don’t know if I should do more for his daddy then just a txt msg, regardless of the fact that’s all he did for me.
Deep down he is a good daddy, and always pays the child support on time and doesn’t argue with me about anything. When I was going to go to S.A, he was ok with it, said if it was for the best, then he understood, even though it would mean I was 800km + away from him.
The thing is, for Xmas just past, I got him a photo frame and put a gorgeous pic of him and Z in it, and gave it to him, where as he didn’t get Z or I anything. More importantly, that frame is still here!!! He never took it home. He said originally he forgot but I reminded him a few times after when he visited and still, its here!
I feel like a txt msg would be inadequate but I don’t want to spend any more money. Its not like im rolling in it anyhow.
So what did u do to show appreciation for daddy when you weren’t together.
i think fathers day is for a special gift from the kids to the dad so maybe just a painting that you r bubs has done, even if you have helped him do it. maybe his handprints even.
i have noticed men aren't always so sentimental about gifts and cards. but it's a nice habit for your child to get into of honouring his dad.
our situation was a little different as dd dad had passed away. we would take flowers and or a picture from her or a card she had made to the ocean where we scattered his ashes and, 'mail' them out to sea to him.
Femme-Fetale
19-08-2006, 20:16
awww meme thats soo sweet, it really touched me actually. :crying:
I was thinking of doing something with his hand prints, but then i thought, hang on, i have tried to give him a great foto that included JUST THE 2 OF THEM.... how much more sentimental and personal can it be?? It didnt have me in it. and i said it was from Z.
We dont do cards and the likes of.
BlueEyedGirl
19-08-2006, 20:25
our situation was a little different as dd dad had passed away. we would take flowers and or a picture from her or a card she had made to the ocean where we scattered his ashes and, 'mail' them out to sea to him.
That is so gorgeous, it made my eyes well up:o
Personally, I am not doing anything for father's day. DD's dad decided he didn't want to be a part of us, and went and found himself someone new, who doesn't like the fact that I have DD (long story). He hasn't made any child support payments, and never sees her.... But I suppose if that were to change tomorrow and he were to start paying and seeing her, and being a decent human being towards us, than I would get him something along the lines of what meme said,
maybe just a painting that bubs has done, even if you have helped him do it. maybe his handprints even.
i have noticed men aren't always so sentimental about gifts and cards. but it's a nice habit for your child to get into of honouring his dad.
Goodluck!
I make a point of calling him on days like fathers day and letting the kids talk to him, I leave it up to him to decided whether he'd like to have them for the day or not.
He doesn't bother doing anything for me, it's my DF that organises mothers day with my kids.
Femme-Fetale
19-08-2006, 20:59
MY DS is too young to talk atm, and i cant leave DS with him unattended. Flight risk.
:gloomy:
oleander
19-08-2006, 22:07
I wouldnt even send the text message!!! Why didnt he even buy his son a Christmas present last Christmas? Just because he dosent argue and pays the child support money dosent make him a 'father' as such. As for my own situation, I certainly wont be acknowledging my ex on fathers day. He has abandoned his child before she is even born!!! Is that a father?
PS - Sorry if I sound a bit aggressive, just going through a 'hating men' phase atm.:mad: :mad: :mad:
My ex doesnt give me anything from Bug for mothers day so Im not giving him anything for fathers day!
mum2littleman
19-08-2006, 23:29
DS father will be getting a big fat NOTHING same as he got me for mothers day and the same as he got my son for christmas and the same as he gives us every day of our lifes NOTHING...
ashleerose
20-08-2006, 00:30
Nope i am not getting him nothing.
He has just had another child to another lady (fourth kid three different ladies).
We are still legally married (although separated etc).
He hasnt bothered at all with staying in contact with our kids and i have no way of contacting him unless of course i send it via the post but cannot see why i should have to do that when he hasnt bothered for the kids.
My dad will instead be given anything that they make for fathers day at school he is more of a dad to them then their own father could ever be.
I think not what he did for me or didn't do for me (more to the point) but what type of person am I?
I am strong, independent, compassionate and self respectful. So it may sound wrong but I want to do the right thing for me. Yes I want to ensure Chanel gives her dad a gift regardless how I feel about him.
If he doesn't appreciate it or want it - it reflects on him not me!
~EmsMum~
20-08-2006, 09:51
my DD's father didn't do anything for me for mothers day, so im returning the favour :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Mum2Lucas
20-08-2006, 10:34
DS's father won't even acknowledge that lucas even has any of his dna. but i know when i was a kid, because my dad's a jehovah's witness, we gave a present to my grandfather instead. all the stuff we made from school always went to pa. and when we cleaned out his house when he died we found all the stuff that we made at school for him.
♥My Innocent Angel♥
20-08-2006, 10:40
i wont be doing anything for my ex he cant even call to talk to dd but he can send a text msg every 6 months like that shows he cares nah not in my books she will get/make stuff for her poppy and pa (my dad and his dad) as they are the important role models in her life if he makes an effort i will but he didnt get her anything for her first b'day for christmas and mothers day :laughing: whats that well he couldnt even get anything when we were together so couldnt expect miracles there.
no he will get what he gets her NOTHING
Femme-Fetale
20-08-2006, 11:47
I think not what he did for me or didn't do for me (more to the point) but what type of person am I?
I am strong, independent, compassionate and self respectful. So it may sound wrong but I want to do the right thing for me. Yes I want to ensure Chanel gives her dad a gift regardless how I feel about him.
If he doesn't appreciate it or want it - it reflects on him not me!
Thats how i see it. Its a reflection on himself, not i or my DS, and in yrs to come, i will have fotos of these moments and Z will ask Q;s if he needs to, but at least we can see we did the right thing and honoured his father.
lovingmumof 2now
20-08-2006, 22:40
Previously every fathers day I went all out and sent cards and got pics taken and sent them in nice frames.
But this year I am doing absolutely nothing. This is because
1. Every single year I have received nothing for mothers day from either father (my two kids have diff fathers)
2. My oldest child is now in counselling because his father's girlfriend emotionally traumatised him due to her own emotional problems.
And number three is.... That I am sick of being the nice one all the time.
I have not always been this bitcy. Actually my rule always was to not be the *****y ex and be nice but I am just over being walked upon like a used up old mat.
My son of 6 doesnt want to do anything and my daughter of 8 mnths doesnt know any different.
This may seem harsh to some and I am sorry but when is enough enough.
Love Ang
Forever and always a great sole mother.
lovingmumof 2now
20-08-2006, 22:43
DS's father won't even acknowledge that lucas even has any of his dna. but i know when i was a kid, because my dad's a jehovah's witness, we gave a present to my grandfather instead. all the stuff we made from school always went to pa. and when we cleaned out his house when he died we found all the stuff that we made at school for him.
That is precious mum2lucas. You must have felt pretty special finding them and knowing he kept them. Grandfathers are the best, my dad is my sons best friend and I love it. Keep up the great work, your little boy is gorgeous.
munchkin05
20-08-2006, 23:57
I think not what he did for me or didn't do for me (more to the point) but what type of person am I?
I am strong, independent, compassionate and self respectful. So it may sound wrong but I want to do the right thing for me. Yes I want to ensure Chanel gives her dad a gift regardless how I feel about him.
If he doesn't appreciate it or want it - it reflects on him not me!
i totally agree
as much as i dont like my ex expecially at the moment i will still be making something with ben so he can give it to his dad
its also the exs birthday a few days before so ill make something for that to
i guess i will still give him something for both fathersday and his bday just for the sake of ben
and to prove that it doesnt matter whats going on between my ex and me its not going to effect how ben deals with his dad
Father's what?? My DD has got her father's DNA but she's not got anything else from him so what does he deserve?
my DD's father didn't do anything for me for mothers day, so im returning the favour :laughing: :laughing:
sounds like a good idea too me !!!:p
mum2littleman
21-08-2006, 15:26
we will be buying for poppy they make sum really cute fathers day cards for poppy.. and we might get him sum chocolates and little things like that followed with a BIG hug from DS to the only man he has to look up to his POP:smiliedance:
Addison'sMum
24-08-2006, 13:24
we will be buying for poppy they make sum really cute fathers day cards for poppy.. and we might get him sum chocolates and little things like that followed with a BIG hug from DS to the only man he has to look up to his POP:smiliedance:
Ditto. This is the same for my ds.
been wondering about this one myself. dd is nearly one and ex has been really good re presents and cards to me EXCEPT on mother's day as we were in teh middle of a rough patch so all i got was text message at nearly midnight. it was really upsetting. anyhoo it's ex's b'day on 30th, father's day, then my mum's b'day on 8th then dd's b'day on 12th sept - it's all happening and we had all these big plans...
but now ex has been a jerk and we not speaking. have told him we're not coming to his b'day and he shouldn't bother coming to anything we do...plus it has occurred to me this week that we were also in the poo on my b'day in january and he was really **** about that too (altho he did buy me a present). thing is i know it will really really hurt him not to have pressie 'from dd' and even tho we're fighting now i assume we will be cool again in future...
should i buy something and then just keep it til we're speaking again????
:gloomy: why oh why does he have to do jerky things? :idea: that's right...thinking with his ... not his brain!!!!!!!! grr...boys...
Father's what?? My DD has got her father's DNA but she's not got anything else from him so what does he deserve?
Same with my DS, his father took off when I was 7mths and has never had anything to do with him, so he gets nothing, never has most likely never will.
My father is the only father figure my son has known, so we call it 'poppysday' :yelclap:
I asked my father what he wanted and he said nothing 'it's just a money raquet for the shops' he'd say. but Jnr's day care is having a bit of a thing at day care this Thurs to honour dad's, poppy's, male family members etc... and dad is going to take Jnr to that, should be nice for them, some men time.
should i buy something and then just keep it til we're speaking again????
Personally... i think if you are going to get him something give it to him on the day. Either that or get him nothing. Although if you dont see him....
I am not getting DS's dad anything for fathers day or even sending him an sms. The way i see it is you have to actually be a father to get something out of it. I gave him a card last year when i was preg with ds's little hand on an ultrasound pic and inside said from me and isayah then i decided i hated the name and then it just turned into fuel for 'the attack nissa' fire. Also he hasn't been interested i think he has only called me three or four times since he was born, it was always me putting effort in. So when he decides to step up and grow up and actually deserves recognition then he will get it. Not before.
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