View Full Version : 4 months old & im pregnant again!
:wave: Hi Ladies
I am in need of some help and support!
My daughter is 4 months old and after feeling extremely sick lately i have just found out i am pregnant.
It was very unexpected as we have always used a condom as I cant go on the pill. As guilty as I feel, Im really quite upset that i am pregnant so soon =( We were hoping to wait til christmas or until DD was 1.
I couldn't terminate as we lost our first DD due to a stillbirth and i just couldnt bring myself to do it.
All i can think is how the hell am I going to cope. My DH is quite calm and just says we'll deal with it as it comes, but i am just feeling quite down.
I guess i feel like im taking away my 4 month olds attention as i will be so busy and feel like im not going to be able to enjoy her like we'd hoped!
i told my parents and my sisters and they were all shocked which is understandable, but all they could say was dont you think its a little soon & geez your going to be busy i hope your prepared.
I know all this, and that is what im so worried about and it doesnt help people not supporting me.
is there anyone else who has been through this or is currently going through it as well?
havent been through it... but i just wanted to wish you all the best and give you some hugs!!!!
I have a friend that had 2 babies in 1 yrs Jan and dec , they are 1 and 2 now and the best of friends ... she often compare thems to being like twins :yes:
Not quite as early as you, but I was preg again when DS was 6 months old. It has been an exhausting journey, breastfeeding has had it's ups and downs (mainly problems with extreme nipple sensitivity due to pregnancy), and I've been battling with anaemia which I think is a result on the extra demand on my body of growing one baby while feeding another and still trying to maintain my own energy levels.
I also have to be a lot more protective of my body (joints, muscles etc) because it did not have time to fully recover before the additional demand of pregnancy was put upon it again.
On the plus side, DS won't have much memory of life before newbie arrives so I shouldn't have trouble with jealousy like I would with a bigger age gap.
On the down side, he's not old enough to be very helpful with things like nappy changes (his fetching and carrying skills are a little unpredictable so if I ask him to pass me the nappy I'll just as likely get handed the tv remote).
My girlfriend got pregnant when her DS was........... 4 WEEKS!!!! Her DD is now 3 months old. She said its hard as hell but she did it one day at a time and it was easier to think "okay let's deal with today before we think about tomorrow". She doesn't really have any help fom her DF so that's what made it harder for her.
She doesn't regret having her second so early just wishes it didn't happen so soon.
A friend from my mothers group got pregnant when her first was 5 months old.
She had another little boy last week and they are over the moon.
She is very calm and organised and the boys will be such great mates.
You must be feeling so scared and overwhelmed right now, but take a few deep breaths and hopefully think of some of the positive things!
I was in your position. Found out I was pregnant when my DS was 5 months old.
I could barely believe it, I was BF, on the mini pill, AF hadnt returned and barely DTD.
I copped a lot of the same stuff "youre pregnant already? Geeze dont you have a tv?" People think its funny, but it is very hurtful. I was stressed out as my DS was a horrible sleeper and I didnt think I could handle another bub. Like you I had 4 million things going through my mind, the last thing you need is people sticking their nose in and trying to be funny! I locked myself in the toilet (mature!) and cried for half an hour. A major concern for me was how on earth would I be able to love another baby the same way I loved my precious little boy? There was no way I could possibly love another child like I did him.
Termination is not a option for me either.
Fortunately though.. after the initial shock wore off a few days later, I began to get excited. I was worried too - DS had huge issues inutero and we had to face the possibility of loosing him.. I was scared this baby would be the same. Luckily bub was healthy, and things got more exciting when I found out that bub was a girl :cloud9:.
I wont lie and say its easy, because its not. But its worth it. I had plenty of guilty moments wondering if DS was missing out because DD needed that bit more attention. But when she was down for a nap, I had all the time in the world for him. Even though he was 14 months old when she was born, he "helped" me do everything and never felt left out. I was very careful never to say things likes "shhh babys sleeping", " dont touch the baby" or "thats the babys things" etc.
10 years on, they are the best of friends, and if I had my time over, Id do it exactly the same!
I have been in your position. I fell pregnant 3 months after having my daughter. As it turns out my son was born a month after my daughter turned 1.
I found it actually much easier to have them so close in age. In the end it was cheaper too as my son caught up to my daughter in nappy size so we only had to buy the one size by the boxful.
For myself there were no negatives although I was lucky to have a good family support network to help me look after the babies and still have time out each day to do things like go to the gym, work part time etc.
Good luck :)
Thanks girls for your replies :kiss:
I guess it's just very overwhelming at the moment, I've just got over the birth of my DD and its alot to take in.
I have thee worst sickness that is basically 24/7 and im so tired all i can think of is "you think its bad now" I just hope I can manage.
I spose in a way my DD will be a little to young to fully understand the whole jealousy thing as she would have just turned 1 2wks before but will be due, but I suppose ill just have to share my attention when new bub is sleeping.
As a couple of you said just take day by day i think that is all i can do. I just hope that i dont feel resentment for my baby because we did get pregnant so quick and it wasnt planned....
God i have so many things going through my head right now...if only family was as supportive as all of you :hugs:
This was me a few weeks ago :yes:
I found out I was pregnant and bub was 5 months old. I am currently 9 weeks pregnant. I also have a 2 year old (Well, almost 3)... It was a huge shock to us but we are used to the idea now and are really excited...
I do get really tired but apart from that all is going okay at the moment :sleeping: I know I will have a challenging time ahead of me as when bub is born I will have a 3.5 year old and a 13.5month old but we'll take each day as it comes
Good luck :hugs:(No real advice, just letting you know I'm in the same boat)
You wont feel resentment I promise :) I remember thinking to myself "Im gonna hate this baby!" :yes:....... Its SO silly now! Let the shock wear off and settle down... one day you will look back and you will understand why you were scared and realise some of it is valid and some was just part of the shock.
I have two little boys who are 10 months 3 weeks apart, they are 5 months and 15.5 months.
I found out I was pregnant with #2 when DS1 was 3 months old and boy it was a shock!
All I can say is, it is so much easier 2nd time around. I am so much more organized, they are both on routines, both slept through the night from 8/9 weeks a sold 11-12 hours.
I find it really easy with 2. They are both great easy going, happy natured little guys. Love them to death!
Im here if you have any questions!
:hugs: thank you thank you thank you!!!!
You ladies have made me feel alot better knowing I'm not the only one in this boat! I think as most of you have said after the initial shock of it then i can settle down into some positive thoughts.
I suppose on the upside, my daughter is in a great sleep routine sleeping 8-11hrs a night and goes down awake. I guess its all about organisation to.
The worst thing is is hearing the way family has reacted, everyone just seems to tell me i dont know what im in for etc....it makes me worry sick as all i can think is maybe i am in way over my head in all this and its not a nice feeling at all!!!
i appreciate all of your support :kiss:its nice having such a great support network on this site! its definately a life line thats for sure!
At the end of the day as long as you are happy that is all that matters!
I used to get soo peeved when people would say oh you are going to have your hands full....now I get wow you must have your hands full....I just say no not really they are great boys. Still annoys me I don't know why, people are just out to judge I guess. Oh the best one I had once was when I was pregnant with DS2 and I had DS1 on my lap who probably would have been 5/6 months at the time and a lady asked (pointing at my belly) if it was a mistake :confused: Who asks that? Especially a complete stranger!
But yes, definitely have to be organized. I still have time to have the house tidy (apart from when we are sick hehe nothing gets done then!), play with the boys, have time for myself and my partner and I love it!
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