Help! 12 week old will only sleep on me! (reflux)

[Mezmerised]

Hi everyone,
I'm not sure whether this should go in the sleep or reflux section.

My DD is 12 weeks old and was diagnosed with reflux about 3 weeks ago. She is on Zantac which is helping but not fixing it. We're waiting to get into the paed to see what else we can do.

The problem is that DD is barely sleeping during the day, and will not sleep in her cot or bassinet. Screams the house down. Both are elevated for the reflux. She will sleep in my arms or in the ergo, and also in the capsule or pram (bassinet attachment, same bassinet) if they are moving. But even if she is sound asleep and I move her to her bed she will wake a few minutes later and scream. I've tried the swing, rocker, floor, all the same.

I am putting it down to the reflux and the fact that she is probably in pain when lying down. But at the same time I'm worried that she won't sleep without me. She wakes so frequently, 5 or 10 minutes, and if I'm not touching her she freaks. She is getting to the stage where she needs to see me at all times even when awake and happy.

I don't know what to do! Do I just let her and hang in there with barely any sleep until the reflux is under control then try and fix the sleeping? What if it is never under control? How much of it is now provably habit rather than necessity? Does anyone know why she wouldn't be getting into a deep sleep and wakes so much?

Any suggestions appreciated!

Exhausted Mez!

[Blairysmum]

Try a reflux pillow, my dd never had reflux but a friend little girl does and she started using a reflux pillow and it worked wonders!!

[Pregnor]

that sounds EXACTLY like my DS at that age. I couldnt take him anywhere because he would just scream and all the Nannas would say 'oh the poor thing is hungry!' :rolleyes:

It got to the point that one night I had 4 hours sleep, sitting on the couch holding him upright.

Firstly I would go to a GP and see if they can prescribe something for bub. Probably Losec. I never saw a paed with DS.

Secondly, get in contact with a sleep school. I took DS just after he changed meds and the change was amazing, he would sleep most of the night and have 3 naps in the day. Don't try and sound too brave, the more destraught you sound on the phone the quicker you will get in! Some sleep schools even have a paed that can help out on the underlying probs as to why your DD wont sleep.

Good luck, I know exactly how you feel right now, and you do need to try something, and soon, because your sanity matters!!

[kar]

I don't know what to do! Do I just let her and hang in there with barely any sleep until the reflux is under control then try and fix the sleeping? What if it is never under control? How much of it is now provably habit rather than necessity? Does anyone know why she wouldn't be getting into a deep sleep and wakes so much?

Any suggestions appreciated!

Exhausted Mez!

This was F and I, yes, I would probably try and ride it out until the reflux is under control. Once F was on losec and not screaming from pain when he was flat (12 weeks) we started gently gently working on the sleeping. It was hard work and he never really got that great at day sleeping until about 5-6 months when he started having one good sleep in the morning in his cot but honestly while they are still in pain from reflux i don't think you can expect anything except for them to want to be upright and comoforted.

Good luck, it is just awful awful awful. If one more person had told me "just enjoy the cuddles while he's so little" :hair: :geek:

We went to a day stay once his reflux was under control because he had got to the point where not only did he have to be held, I had to be standing up and moving in order for him to sleep. I seriously needed help and confidence to try and change what was happening. The middie who did our day stay was fab - no leaving to cry, no judgment just lots of helpful advice and sympathy.

[caspar]

:hugs: mummymez, sounds like my boy. It is so hard because they end up being so overtired they are difficult to settle. I agree that zantac may not be cutting it and I would go back. My bubba did much better with losec but even so it was not a complete solution but did mean he would at least sleep in his cot some of the time. I found carrying him around in a carrier the best solution to get him sleeping during the day so that he was not as overtired and started sleeping better at night. Also you may know already but there is usually underlying cause of reflux such as cows milk protein intolerance which generally helps improve the reflux also. Good luck.

[surfergal]

:hugs:Oh Mez... I am feeling your pain... I diagnosed (lol) DD with reflux at 1.5 weeks. (I am a nurse so was right up with her symptoms) I took her to the GP and we put her straight on Losec. Losec is like zantac but a little stronger. Within 4 days we saw a vast improvement. Your GP should be able to prescribe this so there is no need for you to wait until the paed appointment.

DD would only sleep on my chest in our bed and she would scream from 8 pm until 4 am in the morning. Funnily enough she would sleep during the day in her basinette, however i think this was due to extreme exhaustion. Now she sleeps both well at night and day time with self settling. Something I thought she would NEVER do.

DD is still on Losec at 10 weeks of age. However our paed increased the dose to 10 mg daily simply due to the fact she was a big baby. You can get the Losec in liquid form from compounding chemists. Much easier than dissolving tablets. That only adds to the stress.

I hope you get everything sorted soon. I know how stressful and depressing this all is. But the above is the best advice i can give you.. head back to your GP and start the Losec

[onkybear]

:hugs: ds was a reflux bub and we had alot of trouble getting to sleep on his own. What finally worked for us was to wrap a blanket around him while he was in our arms (to get our smell and also to get the blanket warm) then we very slowly and carefully (too scared to move too fast incase we woke him :laughing:) put him down on his side (with blanket still on him), kept one hand FIRM (so he thought he was still being held) on his side then we tuck him in very tight with a sheet and blankets so he was very snug. Worked a treat. The first few time it took two of us to do it. One to hold, one to tuck but once I got used to doing it we got on a roll. It wasnt a cure but we went from getting up every half hour to every 4 hours. I could live with that. Goodluck. Hope you manage to get a good night sleep soon :sleeping:

[pinkbella]

Hey Mez :wave:

My DD had colic + a bit of reflux, we keep her elevated and for day time sleeps I would hold her. Her 3pm - 5pm nap will only go for 2hrs if I nap with her lol. No complaints here!

Also we decided to co-sleep as she was just crying too much and slept soooo much better next to us as she could hear us breathing and i think it helps her sleep too!

Colic has gone and pretty sure reflux is gone too now she just chucks up but no pain just a lot of mess..

I hope you find some answers soon... xx

[surfergal]

:iagree: as to what Bella said.. the best way to deal with sleepness nights and settle a reflux bub is co sleeping... We co slept until 8 weeks... DD has only been in her cot for 2 weeks now. She is still in our room in the cot but only because it is to darn cold for me to breastfeed her in her room ... we have reverse cycle in our room!

[Mezmerised]

Thank you all so much for your replies! Sorry I have taken so long to post again, you know how it is lol!


Try a reflux pillow, my dd never had reflux but a friend little girl does and she started using a reflux pillow and it worked wonders!!
Do you know where to get these from in Aust? I've seen them on US sites only and can't afford to pay so much for something that *may* help.


I couldnt take him anywhere because he would just scream and all the Nannas would say 'oh the poor thing is hungry!' :rolleyes:
Thanks so much Pregnor. I know, everyone thinks that if a baby is crying they are hungry! No people, if you could see how much chub she is putting on she is not going hungry lol! She is on Zantac but it isn't cutting it. I've booked in for the day stay sleep school the council offers, but they don't have a place until 10th September. Hopefully they have a cancellation. Or I'll see what the paed says and might be able to go straight to the full on one.


but honestly while they are still in pain from reflux i don't think you can expect anything except for them to want to be upright and comoforted.

Yeah, that's what I've been thinking.


I found carrying him around in a carrier the best solution to get him sleeping during the day so that he was not as overtired and started sleeping better at night. Also you may know already but there is usually underlying cause of reflux such as cows milk protein intolerance which generally helps improve the reflux also. Good luck.
I have her in the Ergo a lot which helps, at least I can get some things done. I've started to try cutting out dairy - went to soy milk yesterday and OMG what a disaster! It appears she is more intolerant to soy than she is dairy!! So today we will try rice milk instead :barf:


You can get the Losec in liquid form from compounding chemists. Much easier than dissolving tablets. That only adds to the stress.

I have a paed appointment for this Tuesday now, so luckily it wasn't much of a wait. My best friend works in a compounding pharmacy and Losec syrup is the product they make the most of! So I already have plans for her to get it for me :)


What finally worked for us was to wrap a blanket around him while he was in our arms (to get our smell and also to get the blanket warm) then we very slowly and carefully (too scared to move too fast incase we woke him :laughing:) put him down on his side (with blanket still on him), kept one hand FIRM (so he thought he was still being held) on his side then we tuck him in very tight with a sheet and blankets so he was very snug. Worked a treat.
Cool, will try that, thanks!!



Also we decided to co-sleep as she was just crying too much and slept soooo much better next to us as she could hear us breathing and i think it helps her sleep too!

We're co-sleeping at the moment out of necessity not choice lol! DH slept in the spare room last night to give us more room which meant I slept better. Not what I wanted but it will be temporary and we both know I need as much sleep as I can get!

Thanks again for all your help and advice. I really appreciate it! :hugs:

[Pregnor]

I just thought I would mention a lot of people swear by chiropractors. I took DS at maybe 6 weeks, and he improved for a week, then went back down hill, but I couldnt take him back because they were 300km away!

It might be worth a go?

[loveabub]

Mez, congratulations on the birth of your little girl :yelclap:. I used to post occasionally in the TTC thread and remember you from there.

My daughter is now 5 months old and we've had a rough time too with allergies and sleeping. Although she hasn't shown full symptoms of reflux, the screaming at sleep times decreased when her bassinet and cot were elevated.

It's really hard to get on top of sleeping problems when there are underlying problems so I would really encourage you to get to the bottom of things first, which it sounds like you are doing with your Paed appt and dietary changes. If you really notice changes on your elimination diet it's probably worth looking into seeing a Paed who specialises in allergies and the wait for this can be long.

I didn't realise how much discomfort my little one was in until I cut all dairy from my diet when she was 11 weeks. The physical changes within 48 hours were amazing and she became so much more settled. I've now also identified an allergy to eggs and she gets really unsettled if I eat tomotoes or nuts. Cutting out all soy was a lot harder but has also helped. Watching my DD's poos (sorry TMI) has really helped. When they are brownish in colour or frequent (3 - 4 a day) I know that something is upsetting her system. She also reacts if I have too much sugar (so I can't use lollies to get my sweet fix!).

In terms of sleeping in the cot/bassinet, I have more success when my DD is sleepy when I put her in. Sometimes we rock together on the rocking chair or have a cuddle. She seems to need this time close to me to wind down. I quickly pat and/or rock her body in the cot when she needs help settling and slow down as she gets sleepier. We've had a few tough weeks after moving into the cot, but having elevated it more, she is now starting to self-settle again after a cuddle. Her night sleeps are great now, 7pm - 8:15am, waking just once for a feed. She will settle herself back to sleep at night, every time.

Once you have the reflux and any allergies/intolerances under control you will be able to better determine how much of her sleeping issues are caused by this rather than habits. For my DD it's been both. She still objects to her day sleeps but now I'm getting more aware of when it's pain and when she just doesn't want to go in the cot. If she is in pain it will be hard for your DD to get into a deep sleep, particularly during the day.

We have also been through a clingy stage where DD couldn't handle me out of the room and wanted to be held for much of the day. Rest assured, this too shall pass.

For now though :hugs:. I hope you get some answers soon and that things improve.

[mummyjac]

Just wanted to say hi:wave:, and add a few things. Both my boys have had reflux, we are still going through it with DS2, at almost 9mths. Definitely get your bub on another med, zantac quite often only works for a couple of weeks, or not at all.
These are a few things I did to survive the last 9mths:
* My DS2 slept a whole lot better on his tummy, I know it is not recommended, but we all got some sleep this way.
* My DS2 did not go so well on losec, but is going great with zoton, so keep trying til something works.
* How are you feeding your bub? Lots of reflux bubs have problems with cow's milk, so if you are BF, exclude these from your diet first. Both my boys have done well on Neocate, it is a prescription formula from our pead.
* Probiotics- Inner health for kids, have really helped my boy's tummy.
And lastly, it does get better so hang in there.
I am a member of the RISA(Reflux Infant Support Association), look us up on the web if you want even more support and great advice.
HTH
Jacqui

[Mezmerised]

Just wanted to post an update for you helpful ladies! DD is doing much better and is so much happier since I cut out dairy and soy (9 days ago). I know we won't see the full effects until 3 weeks but so far so good. The paed was great, very helpful and knew a lot about cmpi which was a relief as I've heard a lot don't. We haven't changed meds, in fact have decrease the Zantac with no deterioration. We go back to her after 6 weeks for a check up. The other thing she mentioned was that she should get easier around now anyway, just because of her (corrected) age. So I guess we don't know how much is one or the other.

I've established now that it isn't so much lying down that she hates but being still. So I'm having more luck in the bassinet than the cot because I can rock it when she stirs and stop her waking. Hopefully as the days go on she will require less rocking. Actually there is a noticeable improvement in just one day. I'm spending her naps next to her so I can rock her immediately, as when she wakes she looks quite scared. I'm considering a hammock but will see how this goes for a few more days first.

I'm also sleeping better at night with her now that I'm a bit more used to it which is helping a lot. DH is still sleeping in the other room to give me more space :o which I didn't want but is really helping.

So, thanks again for all your support and advice! :hugs: I think we're finally getting somewhere.