A not so good outcome *sigh*

[ladyinwaiting2010]

I had my first appointment today with my OB. I told him that i was hoping for a c-section and reasons were the tachycardia and blood pressure ect. WELL he said that a vaginal birth would be better for those things and he pretty much talked me out of wanting one, he went on saying the recovery takes ages and its painful ect. i just thought to myself "wouldnt labour be BAD for heartrate/BP? i cant think of anything more physically demanding than giving birth!!!" ANYWAY then i brang up the fact that im anxious about the whole birth thing and i had some pretty tough births that werent fun at all (OK so obviously its not meant to be 'fun') i totally broke down and cried at this point, the poor guy! I also told him how i had the abortion because i didnt want to do it again. He then suggested talking to a counsellor and not to talk me out of a c-section but to get to the core reasons as to why im so fearful.

I dont know if im going to get the c-section, he sounds pretty against them and im devo'd. i cannot handle giving birth again! :( i hate having to fight for it. i dont want to have to fight for it.

He also said that my fundal height is 20. im 16 weeks and 2 days today. he is considering changing my due date.

[soon to be mum of 4]

Hi,
I am the opposite i am hoping for a vba2c and am fighting for it :)
My reasons being i had 2 c sections that were traumatic and life threatening and 1 vaginal birth that was drug free and no complications. One of cesareans i went bradycardic and needed adrenalin to get my heart going again, and also ended up with a very painful numb area on my lower back that may have ended up permanent luckily it didn't that was caused from the spinal block. The 1st cesarean i had, was also traumatic and ended up with the surgeon tearing my uterus and me with a post partum haemorrage....so i guess my post is just to say, keep fighting for what you want, but know that there are others doing the exact opposite, i wish we could trade places :yes: I am just trusting my OB that he will suggest and do what is in the best interest of both my health and that of the baby, and that is what he has said all pregnancy.

Good luck no matter what outcome you get :)

[headoverfeet]

I would second speaking to someone about your previous births :hugs:

Fundal height can vary for a number of reasons but it is not a good indication of bubs size :no: it's very rare for you body to grow a bub you can't birth.

[ladyinwaiting2010]

Hi,
I am the opposite i am hoping for a vba2c and am fighting for it :)
My reasons being i had 2 c sections that were traumatic and life threatening and 1 vaginal birth that was drug free and no complications. One of cesareans i went bradycardic and needed adrenalin to get my heart going again, and also ended up with a very painful numb area on my lower back that may have ended up permanent luckily it didn't that was caused from the spinal block. The 1st cesarean i had, was also traumatic and ended up with the surgeon tearing my uterus and me with a post partum haemorrage....so i guess my post is just to say, keep fighting for what you want, but know that there are others doing the exact opposite, i wish we could trade places :yes: I am just trusting my OB that he will suggest and do what is in the best interest of both my health and that of the baby, and that is what he has said all pregnancy.

Good luck no matter what outcome you get :)

Thanks and good luck to you too! :goodvibes::goodvibes::goodvibes:

And Babymaker, i know, but by my LMP and being 20 weeks pregnant is practically spot on.

[MyCheekyMonkey]

**Big hugs**

Definitely go and see a counsellor, I think it will really help you talking things through with a professional, and you may even be able to get the psych to recommend a c section for you if they believe it is a better option.

I hope it all works out for you :)

[missie_mack]

He has some valid points about the reasons you originally raised and seeing someone about your previous births and what can be done differently to improve your outcome is a good way of moving forward. Whilst it may seem easier to avoid the situation, dealing with the problem is more important in the longterm :)

[Aaliyahsmummy]

My ob was somewhat the same, really keen on vaginal births. i went and saw the psychologist he recommended, i found her really helpful, and in the end she and I decided a c-section was best in my situation. ob was happy to go along with doing a csection as i had somewhat worked through my issues:)

I would go chat to someone, see if they can help. but if you are dead set on a c-section stick to your guns and tell your ob thats whats happening, or find a new one!

hope this helps!

[overitand36]

why as women do we need counselors to know what type of birthing experience we want

why can we not simply be heard and respected without needing to justify why

i love my ob my body my birth my choice, if it was not this way no way would I be staying with her

change ob's get what you want and don't fight for it, just tell them this is what I will be having we all know we pay enough for them

I also know sometimes because of medical issues we do not get what we want but this is a completely different story

[ladyinwaiting2010]

He has some valid points about the reasons you originally raised and seeing someone about your previous births and what can be done differently to improve your outcome is a good way of moving forward. Whilst it may seem easier to avoid the situation, dealing with the problem is more important in the longterm :)

People who arent going through this will never know what its like. I lose sleep over this. It makes me physically sick. i find it hard to get out of bed in the morning and i only do because i have 3 children to look after. i dont enjoy anything! im losing weight from not eating properly. this isnt a CHOICE. i really dont want to be in this situation. and to be honest its a little embarrassing. ive never been good with expressing my feelings with people and i find it extremely difficult doing it face to face with a stranger who will never have to endure labour nd childbirth so cannot empathise with me.

I guess the easy answer to this is "Well maybe you shouldnt be having another baby" and i guess its kind of true. i already have 3 amazing beautiful girls. but this baby is my new wonderful partners and id rather do it now than 10 years down the track.

Im curious, what valid points did you think he made? how it takes a long time to recover and its painful? i have a 4 inch purple scar on my left arm because i shattered my elbow late December 2009. I had surgery and was under for 4 hours. i KNOW what pain is. i KNOW what its like to have restricted mobility. i couldnt use my arm for months and i STILL managed. And yes i do understand that a c-section is major surgery. i really feel like i can handle recovering from a c-section. im only 22 so im sure i will bounce back.

Sorry, i probably sounded like a pregnant moody ***** lol but i thought id just give some more insight.

I will definitely be seeing the counsellor next week and see where it goes from there.

[kribby]

Oh my I'm so sorry! I responded to your other thread the other day! I really thought there wouldn't be a problem! I also have high BP and an SVT and I'm petrified of having the VBAC I want next time because of it! On the other hand my SVT played up in recovery and they didn't know what is was (as i didnt know the technical term for it either) and freaked after my CS and I had pre eclampsia so I think those two things can play up no matter which birth you choose.

But...

No you shouldn't stop having kids because you are scared of a VB I think woman should have the birth they wish for! I believe you are entitled to have the birth you choose and I would maybe call him and talk over the phone maybe you'll feel more empowered not being face to face? Can you have a support person come with you next time and try bringing it up again?

[1+1=5]

if he agreed to a c/s, would that mean that you would not feel so anxious anymore? I agree with him that you need to talk through your previous experiences with a professional but not so that they can grant you the birth you want but rather, that you deal with the trauma.

I was going to suggest doing some calmbirthing classes but it sounds like a c/s is really what you want. Put your foot down hun and insist on what you want and just because you find birth traumatic, doesn't mean you shouldn't have any more children :no:, its a small part of being a parent :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[ladyinwaiting2010]

Thanks. He didnt say no but i would just like an answer, you know what i mean? i cant pinpoint exactly what i find so traumatising about birth. i think most of it is the uncertainty. the after effects. and the pushing part is what i hate the most. :(

[ladyinwaiting2010]

Oh my I'm so sorry! I responded to your other thread the other day! I really thought there wouldn't be a problem! I also have high BP and an SVT and I'm petrified of having the VBAC I want next time because of it! On the other hand my SVT played up in recovery and they didn't know what is was (as i didnt know the technical term for it either) and freaked after my CS and I had pre eclampsia so I think those two things can play up no matter which birth you choose.

But...

No you shouldn't stop having kids because you are scared of a VB I think woman should have the birth they wish for! I believe you are entitled to have the birth you choose and I would maybe call him and talk over the phone maybe you'll feel more empowered not being face to face? Can you have a support person come with you next time and try bringing it up again?

Well he didnt flat out say 'no' he said that he wants me to talk to the counsellor and the surgeon and decide from there if a c-section is what i really want. soooo im not giving up all hope just yet. he was really nice about it. but like i said it must be hard trying to understand something that you havent experienced. plus he is a guy hehehe so i dont completely blame him for not understanding :laughing:

Oh and i dont really have family or friends here, ive only been living here for a year. and my partner does his apprenticeship 9 hours a day 5 days a week so he cant come with me :( but next week he agreed to have my youngest while i see the counsellor so i wont be as distracted :laughing:

[1+1=5]

i know what you mean about wanting an answer :yes:, maybe at your next appointment you can tell him that you have given this a lot of thought and that you definitely want a c/s and would like him to book a date for you.

[overitand36]

i would be changing ob's no way would I want anyone doing surgery on me that I had to convince talk into it etc

maybe he is ain't c/s because he does a bad job at them does not do them often, does he know what he is doing?

[1+1=5]

i would be changing ob's no way would I want anyone doing surgery on me that I had to convince talk into it etc

maybe he is ain't c/s because he does a bad job at them does not do them often, does he know what he is doing?

or maybe he is upto date on the latest research. a VB is safer than a c/s and many public hospitals are under pressure to reduce their cs rates. the OB actually sounds like a nice guy and as the OP said, he hasn't said no, he just wants to make sure that she is fully informed about her decision :thumbsup:.

[Theophania]

or maybe he is upto date on the latest research. a VB is safer than a c/s and many public hospitals are under pressure to reduce their cs rates. the OB actually sounds like a nice guy and as the OP said, he hasn't said no, he just wants to make sure that she is fully informed about her decision :thumbsup:.

:iagree:

Couldn't have said it better myself... Geez obs get a bad time... people have problems when they are too slice happy and now someone has an issue with an ob that wants to make sure a women is certain of her decision and not just slice her up.....

Anyways OP it sounds like you are certain you want a cesarean, and I am sure by the sounds of it you will get it :yelclap: But I agree with PP I do still think it would benefit you to work through your trauma issues from previous pregnancies.

Good luck to you OP :)

[ladyinwaiting2010]

i would be changing ob's no way would I want anyone doing surgery on me that I had to convince talk into it etc

maybe he is ain't c/s because he does a bad job at them does not do them often, does he know what he is doing?

I think he is fairly experienced. he does the anesthesia for c-sections.

I have done a lot of research, watched videos of c-sections ect. 2 close friends have had one so they have told a lot about them. i know what im in for. it wont be fun, pain-free or easy but i seriously will have a mental breakdown if i have to go through labour again. heh i sound like a wuss :laughing: OH WELL! more power to the women who want to give birth vaginally!!

[1+1=5]

I think he is fairly experienced. he does the anesthesia for c-sections.

I have done a lot of research, watched videos of c-sections ect. 2 close friends have had one so they have told a lot about them. i know what im in for. it wont be fun, pain-free or easy but i seriously will have a mental breakdown if i have to go through labour again. heh i sound like a wuss :laughing: OH WELL! more power to the women who want to give birth vaginally!!

you don't sound like a wuss at all and you know what a VB is like, you have been there before. honestly, i don't think you will have issues with being allowed a c/s, i think all your OB wants to know is that you know what you are getting yourself in for, maybe he wanted you to have a think about it for a few weeks before he booked a date for you? when is your next appt?

[ladyinwaiting2010]

:iagree:

Couldn't have said it better myself... Geez obs get a bad time... people have problems when they are too slice happy and now someone has an issue with an ob that wants to make sure a women is certain of her decision and not just slice her up.....

Anyways OP it sounds like you are certain you want a cesarean, and I am sure by the sounds of it you will get it :yelclap: But I agree with PP I do still think it would benefit you to work through your trauma issues from previous pregnancies.

Good luck to you OP :)

I hope i didnt come across as dissing my ob, cos i have the upmost respect for him and understand that he is looking out for me and the baby.

yes im pretty sure ill get the c-section that i want. :yes:

[ladyinwaiting2010]

you don't sound like a wuss at all and you know what a VB is like, you have been there before. honestly, i don't think you will have issues with being allowed a c/s, i think all your OB wants to know is that you know what you are getting yourself in for, maybe he wanted you to have a think about it for a few weeks before he booked a date for you? when is your next appt?

ha thanks!

i have another appoinment with him next tuesday and ill be talking to the counsellor then too. then when i get to 20 weeks thats when he wants me to talk to the surgeon :)

[1+1=5]

ha thanks!

i have another appoinment with him next tuesday and ill be talking to the counsellor then too. then when i get to 20 weeks thats when he wants me to talk to the surgeon :)

it all sounds good, don't stress hun I have no doubt that you will get the birth you are after. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy :hugs:

[ladyinwaiting2010]

Thanks darl :hugs:

[delirium]

He has some valid points about the reasons you originally raised and seeing someone about your previous births and what can be done differently to improve your outcome is a good way of moving forward. Whilst it may seem easier to avoid the situation, dealing with the problem is more important in the longterm :)

I do agree with missie. Having said that I never ever discount the role of birth trauma, and I understand your anxieties.

[Theophania]

I hope i didnt come across as dissing my ob, cos i have the upmost respect for him and understand that he is looking out for me and the baby.

yes im pretty sure ill get the c-section that i want. :yes:

I was not directing my post at you :) I understand you like your ob and he does sound fantastic.... Sorry I didn't mean to make you think it was you lol... my bad :p

[ladyinwaiting2010]

OH ok haha. no worries :)

[fludo]

You've had 3 vaginal births so far.....so you could look at that in one of two ways....either "I've done it 3 times before so I know I can do it again".....or "I've done it 3 times before, I know what vaginal birth is like for me, and I DON'T want to go there again!"

And yes, it sounds like no 2 for you! I would would still recommend the counselling though because these issues can stick around, even after our birthing days. And you never know, you may find out after working through stuff that you feel you would like to give vb a go again, or maybe it will cement your feelings to go cs while making you feel at peace with your past.

[MissSookyLaLa]

I think it's good that you have thought carefully about what you want.

But having a CS isn't going to fix the trauma you feel about your previous births.

I would seek counselling to heal that trauma, otherwise you may be at risk of PND this time around, no matter how you give birth.

best of luck x

[Theophania]

I think it's good that you have thought carefully about what you want.

But having a CS isn't going to fix the trauma you feel about your previous births.

I would seek counselling to heal that trauma, otherwise you may be at risk of PND this time around, no matter how you give birth.

best of luck x

I would definitely agree with this as well. I had PND after DS's birth and I thought things would be different this time as I had a wonderful natural birth, but I still had PND and I think had I worked through more of what happened last time it might have helped :)

[ladyinwaiting2010]

I think it's good that you have thought carefully about what you want.

But having a CS isn't going to fix the trauma you feel about your previous births.

I would seek counselling to heal that trauma, otherwise you may be at risk of PND this time around, no matter how you give birth.

best of luck x

Oh i know! to be honest getting a cs freaks me out too. but its either that or a vb and the baby has to come out one way or the other. im interested in seeing what the counsellor has to say. :)

[ladyinwaiting2010]

I would definitely agree with this as well. I had PND after DS's birth and I thought things would be different this time as I had a wonderful natural birth, but I still had PND and I think had I worked through more of what happened last time it might have helped :)

i agree also! im going to work through my problems. im pretty sure i had PND after DD3 was born. that and the abortion i had has really screwed my head up :(