Couple of questions for SAHM's please - need help deciding what on earth to do!

[ThisIsLiving]

- Do you enjoy being a SAHM?

- When do you plan to go back into the paid workforce (if at all)?

I ask because I have the opportunity to become a SAHM - DH now earns enough to support us. However, I am not sure if I am cut out to be at home full-time. I will keep my casual retail job that I work 5 hours on either Thurs nights/Sat afternoons, but other than that, I could be home during the week days.

I've never had that opportunity before, I've always worked part-time. My children are 3 and 6, so I wonder if they're "too old" for me to be deciding to stay at home with them now, iykwim? DS will start kindy next year, I suppose if I was at home full-time then I wouldn't have to stress about quick drop-offs, and could be at DD's school more to help out etc, but I just don't know. I feel like I need a "trial run" to see if I can do it - a bit like that show on Home & Health or one of those channels that I can't for the life of me think of the name of right now!

If I don't take the opportunity to be at home now, it will never come again, my kids will never be this age again, they'll be grown before I know it. But on the other hand, I only work part-time so its not like I'm never home, but even part-time work still requires a juggle and sacrifice, and I miss some of DD's school activities, and at times have to work back and thus arrange after-school care etc. This wouldn't be an issue if I was at home, things would run smoother on the home-front.

Anyways, so much to decide, was interested to hear your stories, for anyone who wants to share.

Thanks heaps! :)

[drewid]

I've been a SAHM since DS was born, so 5.5 yrs now. I haven't gone back to work, it's been a combination of not finding the 'right' job, and not being ready to give up full time parenting. DS is in prep now, so at school from 9-3, but I have more than enought o keep me busy. I like to have that tiem to get things done, so that I'm not running around cleaning/washing while my DS and DH are at home - I want that quality time with them. I also really like having the option and free time to be able to help out at school, attend assemblies, sports carnivals etc.

In a perfect world, I'd be happy to have a 2 or 3 days a week part time job, between 10-2. But those jobs are few and far between!

I'm lucky that we can get by on DH's income while I wait for the right job to pop up.

I'd really hate to have my life become inflexible due to work, so I am really focussed on making sure that my future job will work around my life, and not the other way around.

But thats just me - each to their own!

[ThisIsLiving]

Thanks for the reply. Hmmm yes so much to weigh up.

And another thing, although I only work 2 days per week, during school holidays I am always expected to do more, to help cover relief as invariably there is always someone taking leave over school holidays. Last Christmas I worked full-time over the Christmas/New Year period, right when DH was home on leave, and I missed that time with my family. June/July hols I was called in heaps as well. So that's the downside. But the upside is my job is school hours (9 til 2), and I know how few and far between they are to get.

Ohhhhh I just dunno!

[TurnedBatty]

I love being a SAHM. My newest baby is here all the time (obviously) and my son is here one week out of two, and my step-son almost a full week. I am not thinking about going back to the workforce until my youngest is in school, but we shall see how that works out!

Any chance you can go back to your current job after a few years?

[danni3]

Me, me, i'm a SAHM :p (she says jumping around) I love it more than anything and I feel very lucky to have been able to spend every minute of every day with my kids since they were born.

Now DD is in kindy, next year prep and my son will be in kindy so this is the first year I have had any kind of a 'break'. I'm sure your experience will be very different to mine cos of the age difference in your kids but I am in a similar position now as you are IYKWIM.

Despite loving it I found I was sometimes lonely in the first years, now I have so much going on with kindy etc and there is other adults I get to have a quick catch up with on those days. Now my days are full of chatty kids that want to play, have me read to them, go on adventures down to the park and I wouldn't ever give that up. I love knowing I am close enough to 'come running' if anything were to happen at school/kindy and I am always available to attend the events at kindy like the mothers day lunch they held for us :cloud9:

The only thing that will be mighty hard for me is if I want to get back to working at some point I think I may have an up hill battle :o I have no 'skills' or recent work history and have only ever been a waitress. We are now planning bub number 3 so it won't be an issue for some time but it is in the back of my mind. It seems that you will be keeping your foot in the door though so I don't think you will find that bit too dificult.

Anyaways I think I am rambling LOL :ecomcity: I have a couple of friends who after having their bubs couldn't wait to get back to work after 8 months or so and then some like me who couldn't imagine not being home. Good Luck making your decision :)

[Hooves]

I have been a full time stay at home mum for the last 6 years now.

There are times I love it to pieces, and times I wish I had something else to do.

In all honesty though. If you are in a position to do it, and you want to give it a go, then Do it.

I have found though sometimes I do get in a bit of a rut, with the same old same old. AND I do wish for some more adult interactions.

I have found, doing things at home, and being a carer for my children and household, can be most rewarding, though. AND I do love being able to come and go as I please, with them, too.

[mum2bubba]

- Do you enjoy being a SAHM? Some days.

- When do you plan to go back into the paid workforce (if at all)? Hopefully within the next few years, if not this year, if I can get a part time job maybe 2 days a week or even 4 nights a week.

[ThisIsLiving]

Thanks everyone.

Most people tend to either think about returning to work when their youngest starts Prep. I'm almost doing it back-to-front!...just can't stop wondering if its silly to stop working now - when my youngest is 3 and due to start 4 year old kindy next year (then Prep the following year). But school is still roughly 18 months away, so I would have that time with him until then. But then I would probably go looking for a job, one that I left not all that long ago! I might ask if I could be reconsidered for work down the track, though it's a small office so will just depend on what hours/if any, are available.

But I still have my weekend job (casual, in retail), of 5 hours a week.

But I'd love to get time with my kids during school holidays, that would be a huge upside of leaving my "day" job.

I know I keep rambling, thanks for listening, its good to get my thoughts out there, and fantastic to get others opinions/stories. :yes:

[gonin]

I've been a SAHM off and on (mostly on) for 5 years. The question of what to do is always on my mind, too. The grass is always greener for me (lol)!

I think that as much as there are things about being a full time mum that I hate (monotony, loneliness, lack of mental challenges), there are also thing about working that I hate (kids in daycare when they don't really want to be there, always rushing, messy house and boring meals etc). There are things about both sides I love, too.

Every job has it's ups and downs. Full time motherhood is no exception!

[ThisIsLiving]

My heart says to do it, but my head is so uncertain - I keep going back to the "I'm giving up a school hours job" worry. I feel silly for walking away from such good hours (although the work itself is extremely hard-going, heaps of responsibility for little pay) just thinking about all that makes me realise it would be great to be out of there......but then there's the good hours factor :hair: Why aren't decisions ever easy?! I wish I had a crystal ball. Just so scared about making the wrong decision.