Am I going nuts!!!

[noniandlilysmum]

Hi there all, I think I am sending myself crazy... I have 2 little girls and my husband and I are talking of trying for our 3rd(hopefully a boy, but either way would be just as happy as I had 4 brothers.) I just found out yesterday that 2 of my friends are having babies, both unplanned, which is besides the point, But I am now thinking about this baby all the time... I am scared this will stop me from falling pregnant, as this is becoming all I am thinking about. I know when I fell pregnant with my first baby it took a while, and with having 2 children already, I thought it might happen really quickly this time, Not that I have tried yet anyway... What I wanted to know is if there are any other mums out there who tried to have a baby and thought about it as much as me, and still concieved fairly easily :rolleyes: I just wish I could keep myself occupied so I can pass the time more easily... Thanks Haana :)

P.s. I feel selfish, as there are women out there who can't even have children, and I already have 2 beautiful girls, I just love babies...

[Miss_Vicki]

Chin up u will get there , think about it less, i was off the pill for somethin like 2 1/2 yrs before i feel prego , but didnt start tryin till about 6 months later, 2 yrs over havin sex almost every day lol then we broke up for 2 or so weeks, got back to gether an 1 month later i was prego , was kinda funny casue i was been really really carefull an then wheni fell prego
dont think about tryin to have as bub try an think of all the good practicin of sex u will get ;) u only get better :P

[bubbalove]

No Haana, perfectly normal! I think it's a matter of us girls getting annoyed that once we decide we want to be pregnant, we get annoyed that it doesn't happen instantly! And it so easily becomes an obsession, and that's not wrong at all.
I fell pregnant both times, first after 4 months and second after 5 months of trying, but I have completely irregular cycles, and once the doctor starting talking about trying Clomid, I think I just relaxed and it happened! So while it is a stupid, annoying thing to say, do try and relax ;) Enjoy the trying...

[noniandlilysmum]

what is clomid?

[bubbalove]

Clomid is a fertility drug, it makes you ovulate.

[5cherubs]

Don't feel selfish it is a natural feeling, we have 5 children and earlier this year we found out we were preg with #6 we were a bit shocked as it wasn't planned, then we lost it and i was devestated and it seemed that everyone around me was telling me they were preg and i hated it, but then i started feeling guilty for the same reason you are now...all the people that can't have any and i am lucky to have the 5 i have.

All I could say is for you to put it to the back of your mind, don't try, have fun and it will happen.

[xkwzit]

Hi Haana

If it helps, I have heard that the "average" time to fall pregnant is 6 months. For us it took at least 5 months the first time and about 4 months the second. Second time was a bit of a surprise, I thought we'd missed the critical days...but we have our beautiful second girl now. Just relax, and of all the millions of babies in the world you will get the one meant for you! :)
Cheers

[H&B'sMum]

HI Haana,
I went through the same thing as you. It took my hubby and I a year to fall with Harry and it was all I thought about. I read everything I could on the internet and it was all I thought about. I hated it when people told me to relax it was the last thing I wanted to do. I just wanted to be pregnant and no amount of telling me to relaxe or it will happen when it's suppose to helped. People were trying to help me and I understand that but all you want is to know why you don't have your baby that month. So I won't say relax. All I will say is enjoy the baby making and if you want to talk to me more about this just pm me.
Good luck

[Lucy'smum]

To Haana,
Its so funny I was just about to start a topic on this very thing..we to are going to start trying (in december), and it is all I can think about....just 1 month to go....I just had my period so I know that in the next 2 weeks I'll be fertile again...its funny I guess but we want to wait till Dec as if we start in Nov, we are afraid that we will fall preg again first go.....which is fine but it would mean the baby would be due at the exact same time of the year as our first baby was...Lucy was born on the 1 August so hense the wait.....We did fall preg first go with Lucy so I'm also afraid of not being able to fall preg for ages....don't know how I could handle the wait...I think I would go nuts....
Anyway will keep in touch...... :)
Bel

[noniandlilysmum]

Hi Lucys Mum, You are one of the lucky ones to fall first go... I hope it is the same for you the next time round... I actually have no idea when I ovulate so it is a bit confusing, along with the temperature checking, mucous checking and all the rest of it, You can totally see why women take forever to fall pregnant... Nonetheless I am not going to lose hope. as this is only the first real month of trying... I was curious though if anyone knows whether ovulation can take longer than 14 days and if your constantly doing the prediction kits and with no results, is that normal??? I'm not stressed out, just constantly thinking will it be today, can that have an affect on my ttc???:confused:also wondering if I am constantly thinking about ttc, will that stop me from ovulating or showing up an LH surge in the predictor kits :rolleyes:

[H&B'sMum]

HI Noniandlilysmum,
Thinking about it shouldn't stop the line showing on your ovualtion kits. The kits measure the level of hormones in your body, so thinking shouldn't stop that. Your thinking can affect you in other ways. It happened to me, for a year it was all I thought of, even in my sleep, but we went away for a week and that's when it happened. Again I'm not going to tell you to relax as I hated being told that. What also helped for me was changing my thinking a bit. While I was starting to lose all hope I'll become a mother I changed my personal mantra from "Do everything in my power to make it happen" to "Do everything in my power to allow it to happen". This change in my thinking allowed me to still do everything I could to fall pregnant but allowed nature to do the rest. I was doing temp taking, kits, naturopath, mucus testing and even praying all in the hope of becoming a mother and when I let nature have some say in it I fell. As you said it is only the first month, all I will say is happy baby making :D
To Lucy's mum, good luck with your baby making next month. Just think if you wait that extra month knowing when you ovulate then there's a better chance of falling. Have fun.

[noniandlilysmum]

Thanks Karena, I love all your posts... I did not understand what you were saying about changing your thinking, Where you said to do everything in your power to allow it to happen. I know I want to change my thinking, but with all the stuff you need to do each day, plus abstaining from intercourse and finding when your ovulation, it is just frustrating, and I have to be patient... Once again thanks :)

[H&B'sMum]

I had to change my thinking as a way of letting nature take it's course rather than me making it happen. We have so much control over everything in our lives today and we expect, or at least I did, that conceiving would just happen when we wanted it too. But after so long of it not happening I had to look deeper inside me and find out what was going on. I just knew it wasn't physical so I got to thinking may be it was my thinking or mental state that was stopping me conceiving. I want it to happen so badly and was trying to control everything. Diet, ovulation kits, naturopath, and other things, but nothing seemed to be working. So this lead me to rethink my thinking. Instead of doing everything to control it and make it happen I gave it over to the universe (new age concept I know, but I believe in it). Once I handed it back, yet still did everything physically I could, I fell. I fell pregnant that month. In a way I handed it back to nature and what had been happening for millions of years and basicly said "I will do my part if you do your part." It was a big thing for me to change my thinking but once I did, it worked. I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders as I felt something/someone else was helping me to achieve my goal.
I understand this may be confusing and I've tried to write it as clearly as I could. The main thing is that I changed my thinking from controlling to allowing and it worked for me.
I hope this makes sense to everyone else and please feel free to pm me if you want to discuss this further.
Hope you are all having a great weekend and I'll catch up with everyone during the week. Bye

[noniandlilysmum]

I know what you mean Karena, I just can't stop thinking about it... The reason for me trying to pin point ovulation is for conceiving a boy, if you have intercourse right on ovulation your chances for conceiving a boy are much higher than having intercourse at random... I know a lot of people might tend to disagree with me, and that is fine...We already have 2 beautiful girls, and a last go of it, we thought we might wing it, and pull of getting a boy, either way a girl would be just as great, as I had 4 brothers... But if there are ways to boost your chances than why not give it a go... Maybe that is interfering with nature, and maybe this is why it may not work, but I am going to keep trying and whatever the outcome I know it is meant to be... :D I may decide I want more later, as I just love babies and children... :)

[H&B'sMum]

I totally understand your need for a boy. The giving it over to nature was just about the conceiving not the sex of the baby. I have also heard that if you conceive at ovulation then it's more likely to be a boy. I say whatever is right for your family then go for it. I hope I haven't offended you in anyway, that was not my intention I was trying to explain my thinking more clearing :D

[noniandlilysmum]

No way did you offend me, you gave me some great advice. This is what these forums are for... To share our opinions and suggestions with others... All help is appreciated... I know you were just explaining what you had said previously and I am greatful to you for that... I am a little slow sometimes and can't quite piece together what others are trying to say or mean to say... Likewise, I also hope I have not offended you, as it was not my intention... I just want to learn more about this whole conception thing, I feel so greedy and unsattisfied, as there are women out there who would give anything to have children let alone 2 beautiful girls who love me unconditionally... If it was up to me Karena, I would just play it by chance, rather than all the thought I am putting into it(this baby)... As I said I am happy either way... My beautiful husband lost his father last year due to unforseen circumstances, and he really misses that relationship, the father and son relationship... So it is because of my husband that this is what I we are doing... Take care Karena, and thanks for your advice and help, it is very much appreciated, Haana... Raoni and Lily's Mum :)

[H&B'sMum]

That's okay Haana. :p

[Lucy'smum]

I don't know if I'm allowed to mention other sites on here...but If help those trying to concieve I go to the babycentre site...its a uk site...just search babycentre ovulation calculator, it has a ovulation calculator etc...and heaps of hints on detecting if your ovulating...like the thickness of your mucus ( vaginal obviously)...lol.......when its really thick...when you can put it between you fingers and it stretches with out breaking...is one sign of ovulating...also if you can feel your cervix is low in your birth canal and feels open, this is a good sign your fertile as your cervix is open and ready for sperm..it my take you a few months to get to know the signs...but its all worth it...I found it helps to feel your cervix after your period or even just before your period is due as then you can feel the difference.....when its not time it should feel hard and closed...also it will be hard to find as it will feel far back and often high up.....when you ovulate usualy it will appear lower down, soft ...wet and open....If you know what I mean....sorry about the details....lol....but this is just what I've read..and It has helped me...I'm pretty sure now of every month when I ovulate...I even get slight back ache....And it worked last time for us.... :D :p :D :) Good luck
Bel

[noniandlilysmum]

Thanks Bel, I have looked at that site... I think your details are accurate with the cervix and where it is meant to be at ovulation time... any info or advice is appreciated... Oh, and it takes me a lot to get grossed out, lol... Haana

[Lucy'smum]

I'm the same.... this type of stuff doesn't gross me out..I actually find it interesting....
Reg cervix stuff...I went to the gyno last month and had a pap smear...which turned out all clear...yeah.....as last one was bad....but all good and healthy now.....And it was right in the middle of my fertile period and the Gyno even said to me...."your ready now" and something about me be fertile......and I too could tell...so it is true that your cervix can tell a lot about ovulating..... Then when I went back to get my results he said you could have 10 babies...lol....at least I now know I'm all healthy..... :p

Bel

[mamafelix]

I can really reccommend a book which goes over all the signs of fertility, and also how to overcome infertility and miscarriages etc.

"Natural Fertility" by Francesca Naish, she's an Australian naturopath who specilises in conception/contraception.

I've used it with success to help me not fall pregnant...now I'm hoping to get pregnant by the same methods.

[noniandlilysmum]

Thanks Zoe, as you can see we are ttc baby #3... That book has been reccomended to me a couple of times, I think I will go and have a look for it tomorrow... We are doing the "how to choose the sex of your baby" at the moment, but as I am acidic, and I need to be alkaline, I am in no rush, and if I am already pregnant with a girl(third girl that will be), I am unlikely to go back for more :rolleyes: ... I am happy either way, it is my hubby who really wants a boy, I had 4 brothers who drove me absolutely bonkers :eek: , but cherish them very much now... So I would really love a boy too, just to break things up a little, but as I said either way is fine... :D

[noniandlilysmum]

I am sooo sorry to all you ladies out there about how selfish I have been in regards to ttc bub #3... You all seem so lovely, warm and caring mothers... I have been so impatient after only 1 month of trying and am terribly sorry if I have offended any of you, as I know it has taken some of you many months, if not years to conceive... And as I have already got two beautiful girls, I am just going to relax and let it happen when the time is right... I thank you all for your posts, and really appreciate the advice given... Once again, I am sorry for offending any of you in regards to my selfish attitude, I hope you and your families are all well and will hopefully catch up with you in the not to distant future... :)

Raoni and Lily's Mum ;)