alexandra
19-08-2006, 01:08
Well this might be a bit long so I'm sorry. Well today we had the house warming/blessing and it went really good. I'm exhausted after spending the whole night cooking up a feast and going to bed at 6 am, my legs are killing me but anyways...
Most of the DH's family were here tonight and those who weren't had a good excuse and they called anyway to send their best wishes. DH has a family here of about 30 members. I don't have anyone apart from my dad who lives 30 mins away. Told you this was going to be long but bear with me.
Anyways growing up I was always very close to my dad and did everything he wished. Things got to a point that no matter how hard I tried to please him, he was never happy. He was always upset with my grades, my efforts, my chores as the woman in the house. So when i turned 18 i moved out of home, i was just too upset, was starting to wish I was dead, would pray someone would kill me.
Don't get me wrong, he was always a great father, he was loving. Maybe his positive qualities outweighed the negatives. I've always been very grateful of everything he did to raise up on his own. My mum abandoned us when I was 5. My dad sacrificed a million things to bring me up in a third world country and make sure I had a great education.
well when I was 21 I got married to a wonderful man I adore. when I got married I was already pregnant so my dad was completely against the whole thing. One I shouldn't marry so young, two if i'm pregnant why marry what's the rush, three the man is rubbish, four he's way too old and should know better.
Anyway, he is a very proud man and at the beginning he would speak to me. Then slowly he started to. He has seen my oldest son four times in three years. And my poor Daniel always asks for his grandpa.. Four months ago he spoke to DH for the first time since the wedding day.
The thing that got me upset was that he sent me an sms saying that he couldn't come to the house warming because he had to work and couldn't change his shift. I know that if he really wanted to, he could have changed it. Then he said that he's too busy anyway and he'll probably see me next month. That really hurt, you're too busy to see your only daughter? The only family member you have in Australia? I don't think I could ever be too busy for a 30mins visit to my son's or a 5 min phone call.
I'll never forget when I was little he said to me that he would never fail me that the two persons i could always count on were God and him. And look what happened just 'cause i married the "wrong" guy.
My mum left me when I was 5 and it may sound silly for a woman my age but I never completely got over it. Now my dad is gone.
Everyday I pray to God that he will find it in his heart to come and see me. I wish this was a bad dream and things would go back to the way they were. When I close my eyes I remember the way his arms used to feel when he cuddled me and I just cry :crying: :crying:
Anyway thanks for allowing me the opportunity to let it all out.
Most of the DH's family were here tonight and those who weren't had a good excuse and they called anyway to send their best wishes. DH has a family here of about 30 members. I don't have anyone apart from my dad who lives 30 mins away. Told you this was going to be long but bear with me.
Anyways growing up I was always very close to my dad and did everything he wished. Things got to a point that no matter how hard I tried to please him, he was never happy. He was always upset with my grades, my efforts, my chores as the woman in the house. So when i turned 18 i moved out of home, i was just too upset, was starting to wish I was dead, would pray someone would kill me.
Don't get me wrong, he was always a great father, he was loving. Maybe his positive qualities outweighed the negatives. I've always been very grateful of everything he did to raise up on his own. My mum abandoned us when I was 5. My dad sacrificed a million things to bring me up in a third world country and make sure I had a great education.
well when I was 21 I got married to a wonderful man I adore. when I got married I was already pregnant so my dad was completely against the whole thing. One I shouldn't marry so young, two if i'm pregnant why marry what's the rush, three the man is rubbish, four he's way too old and should know better.
Anyway, he is a very proud man and at the beginning he would speak to me. Then slowly he started to. He has seen my oldest son four times in three years. And my poor Daniel always asks for his grandpa.. Four months ago he spoke to DH for the first time since the wedding day.
The thing that got me upset was that he sent me an sms saying that he couldn't come to the house warming because he had to work and couldn't change his shift. I know that if he really wanted to, he could have changed it. Then he said that he's too busy anyway and he'll probably see me next month. That really hurt, you're too busy to see your only daughter? The only family member you have in Australia? I don't think I could ever be too busy for a 30mins visit to my son's or a 5 min phone call.
I'll never forget when I was little he said to me that he would never fail me that the two persons i could always count on were God and him. And look what happened just 'cause i married the "wrong" guy.
My mum left me when I was 5 and it may sound silly for a woman my age but I never completely got over it. Now my dad is gone.
Everyday I pray to God that he will find it in his heart to come and see me. I wish this was a bad dream and things would go back to the way they were. When I close my eyes I remember the way his arms used to feel when he cuddled me and I just cry :crying: :crying:
Anyway thanks for allowing me the opportunity to let it all out.