A little advice needed on my friends little girl.

[Mybabble]

Hi:wave:
I just wanted to pop my head in this section and see if anyone has any thoughts on my friends little girl.

She just turned 3 in June. She has an eye condition (not sure what its called) That she is having surgery to correct next month. Basically since the day she was born she hasnt been able to see anything clearly, both eyes are turned quite badly but can be fixed, which is great news. She seems to have some other needs though that just dont seem quite right to me.

For example. She doesn't speak. She makes alot of sounds and uses a few words but nothing more.

She gets very upset very easily and screams until her mum and dad tell her she is ok. No other words soothe her. It has to be "you're ok"

She has alot of trouble walking, but I think that has more to do with her vision not being so great. Although her movements are very jerky. Always throwing her arms around and thrashing her head about.

She rarely eats anything that isnt mashed because she doesn't like the texture or having to chew foods.

She really is a beautiful little girl, her mum and dad are sure that once she gets her eyes fixed everything else will just fall into place. But my gut tells me something is not qiute right and they have some hurdles ahead of them.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?

[MissSookyLaLa]

Hi:wave:
I just wanted to pop my head in this section and see if anyone has any thoughts on my friends little girl.

She just turned 3 in June. She has an eye condition (not sure what its called) That she is having surgery to correct next month. Basically since the day she was born she hasnt been able to see anything clearly, both eyes are turned quite badly but can be fixed, which is great news. She seems to have some other needs though that just dont seem quite right to me.

For example. She doesn't speak. She makes alot of sounds and uses a few words but nothing more.

She gets very upset very easily and screams until her mum and dad tell her she is ok. No other words soothe her. It has to be "you're ok"

She has alot of trouble walking, but I think that has more to do with her vision not being so great. Although her movements are very jerky. Always throwing her arms around and thrashing her head about.

She rarely eats anything that isnt mashed because she doesn't like the texture or having to chew foods.

She really is a beautiful little girl, her mum and dad are sure that once she gets her eyes fixed everything else will just fall into place. But my gut tells me something is not qiute right and they have some hurdles ahead of them.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?

doesn't sound great for a 3 year old. Have they been seeing a paediatrician for her eye issues?Surely they would have picked up any other problems?

I guess if not, the surgery is next month, and so if stuff doesn't 'fall into place' she will still be reasonably young enough for intervention to be effective.

[Mybabble]

Thanks for the reply :)

They are seeing a paediatrician for her eyes. I'm not sure if anything else has been mentioned about her development. I think her parents are just waiting and hoping that her eyes are the only problem and telling themselves that's all it is.

[Mybabble]

Bump :)

[crazymuma]

Well I hate saying these things but to me she sounds possibly autistic. With the lack of speech, meltdowns, sensory issues it seems quite possible.

From what you have described she sounds like my neice and nephew in some ways and they are both autistic.

I can't understand if they are seeing a pead how the doctor hasn't noticed any of these things.

Do the parents ever talk about her developmental delays or have any other concerns??

[elemenopee]

Autism is a real possibility. You have to be delicate when approaching parents about it, or they can just dismiss it and deny any problem at all.

A trip to a developmental psychologist is needed.

[MegaGuts]

I'd be a bit concerned that she's not talking yet and the fact that she's showing other signs that something's not right doesn't sit well either...
You can understand their position though, it is hard as a parent to admit that something's not quite right. I wouldn't push them, but just try to encourage them talking to their pead about these things. Just be the good friend that you are and try bringing it up when you think is a good time.
Goodluck with it all, hope that their little girl's surgery goes well :goodvibes:

[MegaGuts]

Well I hate saying these things but to me she sounds possibly autistic. With the lack of speech, meltdowns, sensory issues it seems quite possible.

From what you have described she sounds like my neice and nephew in some ways and they are both autistic.

I can't understand if they are seeing a pead how the doctor hasn't noticed any of these things.

Do the parents ever talk about her developmental delays or have any other concerns??


Autism is a real possibility. You have to be delicate when approaching parents about it, or they can just dismiss it and deny any problem at all.

A trip to a developmental psychologist is needed.

:iagree: with both these posts, it does definitely sound like it could be autism. I've given this advice to a couple of other bub hub mum's in posts, but it's the best one i know of (partly because it's who i work for) because i know how great their work is, but look up autism spectrum australia on the net. They're a fantastic organisation that helps people with and family members of people with ASD's. They give great advice on all different aspects of autism. Check it out, see if it looks like it could be what your friend's child is displaying and then very gently suggest to your friend that maybe they can look it up??
I have to question your friend's pead too, whether she was there for one thing, surely he should've been able to spot other things too?? That is their job.. well i thought so anyway :confused:

[OurLittleBlessing]

Hi:wave:
I just wanted to pop my head in this section and see if anyone has any thoughts on my friends little girl.

She just turned 3 in June. She has an eye condition (not sure what its called) That she is having surgery to correct next month. Basically since the day she was born she hasnt been able to see anything clearly, both eyes are turned quite badly but can be fixed, which is great news. She seems to have some other needs though that just dont seem quite right to me.

For example. She doesn't speak. She makes alot of sounds and uses a few words but nothing more.

She gets very upset very easily and screams until her mum and dad tell her she is ok. No other words soothe her. It has to be "you're ok"

She has alot of trouble walking, but I think that has more to do with her vision not being so great. Although her movements are very jerky. Always throwing her arms around and thrashing her head about.

She rarely eats anything that isnt mashed because she doesn't like the texture or having to chew foods.

She really is a beautiful little girl, her mum and dad are sure that once she gets her eyes fixed everything else will just fall into place. But my gut tells me something is not qiute right and they have some hurdles ahead of them.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?

I really don't want this to come across the wrong way.....

but they may be well aware of the hurdles she is facing, but wanting to downplay it to others, especially if it is being discussed in front of their DD. My DD2 has some vision problems too, the extent of which we won't know for quite some time, and to onlookers it probably seems like we have our head in the sand. Far from it. We are just trying to give her (and her sister) as normal a childhood as possible. We are also seeing Drs, doing our research etc etc etc, but we aren't going to discuss this with everyone we meet, or even some close friends.

To give you an example: I was at my GP's this morning waiting for DD to have her 6 month shots, and there was a man sitting near us, staring at DD (her eyes move around all the time, so you can tell quite easily her vision isn't normal). Anyway, the receptionist came over and asked how she was going, and I replied 'fit as a fiddle, she's a dream baby' (which is true BTW). I could see that the man was thinking 'what the? doesn't she realise?'. Well yes, I do, but I'm hardly going to subject my daughter to discussing the ins and outs of her eye condition all the time with everyone we meet.

And yes, I'll admit I'm probably (haha definitely more like it) a bit too sensitive on this subject, but I read threads all the time along the lines of 'my neighbour/friend/SIL/aunty/mothers group friends' child has XYZ and I don't think they've noticed, should I say anything?'. And I just wanted to put across a different point of view.

Having said all of that, yes, sometimes I do want to talk about it, so my poor old friends can't really win.

[crazymuma]

It is a hard one but I truly don't think - especially if you are a good friend you should just ignore the prolblem. Sad fact is many parents don't notice and many caregivers are quick to say the child is "normal" and to just give them time. I personally have watched 2 children miss out on vital therapies as one parent just didn't notice there was a problem and the other who voiced her concerns to many was always told to give it time - that she was just developing at her own pace.

If it were me I and they were good friends I would just ask if the paed seemed at all concerned about her lack of speech and just go from there.

[Nowhere]

Hey

Being a mum of a SN child I can honetly say we often do play things down, I know I talk some what openly ( about half of what goes on ) about DDs issues, But its not something I like to be reminded of all the time KWIM.

I know when DD was younger I would say when people asked oh no she hasnt got Sn just a feeding tube, ( only said that cause it was obvious) and then it was oh no she is ok just a bit small etc.

As a mum you know when things arent right but it doesnt stop you hopeing, maybe she is hopeing that once her DD had the surgery all will be well, She may know deep down thats not the case but if that keeps ehr going let her have it.

If there is other issus going on they will come to light with the drs over the next year or so once her eyes are corrected she will be in therapy and what not, So if i was you I would just be a suportive friend, if and when she find otu that there s more to her DD condition than she thought be suportive, and what ever you do dont say Oh I thoiught she wasnt doing this that or the other.

Oh as for the You're Ok needing to be said, with her being blind and not being able to see she will always need that reasurance while she is little and they are probly the words ehr mum and dad have said since she was a baby so she knows ither safety net.

[EvangelinaOne]

The Paeditrician would have met this little girl in many occassions qnd the family have concerns they are not talking about to anyone. They have many things to deal with at the moment and they may wish to take it one step at a time. Her eyes may be causing her developmental delays and it will take her some time to catch up and she will probably need some extra assistance to do this. I think at this point it is best to give them your support and time will tell if she has long term disabilities or just needs extra therapy. For her and her family it will be similar to teaching a very young child basic skills.

[Mybabble]

Thanks everyone.
I think you all have good points. I do think her parents are down playing the developmental delays, atleast until her eyes are fixed. Because like I said, they really are hoping that once her eyes are fixed, there will be a 2 week recovery and she will be fine.They are tackling one thing at a time I guess. I will wait until after the surgery and her recovery time and just go from there. If nothing else is mentioned I may bring it up. I think Crazymumma suggested asking if the paed had mentioned anything about her speech delay and see what is said.
These people are good friends of ours and the last thing I want to do is upset them so I am going to tread lightly.