View Full Version : If not surrogacy then what!!!!
It's so hard to try and find a surrogacy, I have no family members who can help and I have spread the word through many friends but still haven't been able to find someone to help us. If we can't find a surrogate in Qld and you have to be a resident in Victoria, not sure about other states, what other options are open to us. As Qld residents I don't believe we could do surrogacy in India because you pay the surrogate there and that is considered commercial surrogacy. What about US? Does anyone have any advice? Adoption process is too long and I don't believe we are able to do this due to our ages. (42 & 51)
I'm losing heart and I don't know what to do, we so much want a family but it just seems impossible. Every day is a struggle to stay positive; I don't know what to do. Any advice?
oh my.. I so feel for you! Makes me want to help.. really it does.. but we are TTC ourselves.
I hope you find what you're looking for :(
Have you considered overseas surrogacy? I am in that position at this time. Although WA has recently allowed surrogacy. I don't know anyone that would be a surrogate and you can't advertise, you can't offer any monetary reward. So who will be a surrogate for me?
My husband and I have tried IVF numerous times. He's 40 and I'm 38, so yes, we are now having to explore other options.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you wish.
Good luck to you.
I feel for you too, and although I am lucky enough to be in WA where the laws allow it, the cost of legal, clinics and all else that goes along with it still may put it out of our reach.
Plus we are in the same situation - we don't have any sisters and all my friends who would love to help are unable too...
keep trying :hugs:
I also live in Qld and we are considering going to India. I thought we could do overseas surrogacy. As long as we are not paying someone here I thought it was ok. Maybe I was just assuming that! Who do I ring to find out??? Has anyone from Qld used an Indian surrogate?
MINIMISS - cant help on the question of surrogacy but i had understood the rules for adoption in QLD had now changed. About time really as they are antiquated but i believe they have taken off the age limit.
Unfortunately it will not help me as i am now single.....and 46 so time for ivf and egg donors is running out.
I feel your pain...... please look into adoption again.
Thanks for your comments. We have looked at the adoption website but we still feel we are restricted due to our ages (42 & 51) and the timeframe for adoption for us is approx 2 - 4 years depending which country you adopt from.
We feel our best option is surrogacy and we would love to find a surrogacy in Qld so we can be apart of the whole 9 months. We will consider overseas if we really have to, but really prefer not to.
If there is any inforamtion about adoption that I have missed certainly open to more info. Need a helping hand.
Well, I'm sure there's one out there in your area. Just exhaust all your efforts online. Visit all Au-based pregnancy forums you can and ask who's willing to surrogate. There are those who really want to help couples like you and who have healthy, perfect uterus. Good luck and I hope for the best for you and your husband.
I hear your conerns and feel your pain. We had the same pain as you a few years back...we looked into all the various options including adoption...the latter is a farce, and as per a recent news article, even if approved, only 10% of couples succeed with an adopted child (often a 5 yr old or older).
We went with the surrogacy program in India in early 2008...took a huge punt....by gee we were nervous. However, 2 years later, after 2 separate attempts over 2 yrs, we have 2 babies now. This is a common story for so many couples (and I know a lot who shared the same success).
Do not despair...the program in India is excellent and it does work for most. There is no guarantee of course, (as with IVF), but very high success rates, particularly where couples may use a donor egg.
I am open to provide further info. for you, if you think this may assist. (our story and just general advice)
All the best. I wish everyone here who have had difficulties, the best of luck...it is not fun being in this situation. If only our Govt (Federal) would start to listen to the huge numbers of infertile couples, and consider a viable plan B for infertile couples; adoption used to be the answer, but, not anymore.
HI minimiss and brisgirl80,
Just wanted to add that you are able to pursure commercial surrogacy in India regardless of which state you live in.
It is legal to bring a bub from India to Austrlia ... even if your state laws do not allow "commercial surrogacy" within the state. Since the contract you are entering into is NOT within Australia. There are provisions through the Australian embassy in India to make this possible.
I was looking into this myself recently and that was what I found.
Goodluck. Whatever you decide ... I hope you succeed.
Thanks for that Vessie,
We thought we could but then got a little scared. We are in the process of choosing our Indian Surrogate. We are so excited but a little nervous at the same time.
Good on you! It will happen so quickly and before you know it - you will be pregnant!
Keep us posted.
Is there a particular website where you found your indian surrogates ? What are the costs involved ?
I had also thought that you would not be allowed to bring a child born overseas back into Australia (similar to overseas adoption). Its very hard to get any information on these things.
Thanks to everyone for your mesages. Yes I realise now as Qld residents we can do surrogacy in India, this is so daunting and hubby is not really certain that this is our only and last option.
We truely would prefer to find a surrogate in Qld, we so much want to be apart of the pregnancy time.
Are there other websites around like hubbub to expand one's search for a very special surrogate. For a stranger to offer surrogacy to a couple is a gift that is beyond anything.
have you looked into a surro from another state in Australia? When I was pregnant I kept everything from my pregnancies. First pregnancy test, ultrasounds, book of notes and appointments etc. Being there for a pregnancy is a lovely thing to do, but flights in Australia aren't that expensive, and even putting away any spare money you have, can go towards flights for anything major. Skype is also a possibility, phone calls, text mesages (and receiving pregnancy photos) even if it comes down to it, being on the phone on speaker every doctors appointment so you can hear everything. Just an idea, incase you can't find a surrogate in QLD. I am currently talking to a lovely lady in another state (me being in WA) and we have discussed all this for me to be a surrogate. Fingers crossed :) and good luck xoxo
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