Back in nappies at 3yo?

[Sheer Bliss]

3yo DS is driving me BONKERS!!! He is having accidents all the time, and he KNOWS not to. He is just being lazy/too involved in what he is doing. I was back at the point of 'sit on the loo before you do x' before morning tea, before we go outside etc - constantly reminding him, only to have him often refuse and then wet his pants 5mins later.

We have tried sticker charts, rewards, treats, ignoring....I am thinking of giving a sticker chart another go, but ATM am so over it I put a nappy on him. :( I feel bad, as he doesn't want to wear it...but I made him wear one out the other day, and he was not happy about it, but was still happy to wee in it!! I don't know what to do with him to help him. He did so well for a while there, and now this major step backwards at 3 is crazy. I know part of it is my fault, I get stuck with the babies or trying to get on top of the house and forget to remind him, but I don't know how to stop that - apart from getting a nanny to help! LOL Any ideas??

[Pregnor]

i dont have any advice, but i read at some point that its really normal that boys get too engrossed with what they are doing they dont pay attention to needing the toilet til its too late. Completely normal.

No advice though, must be so frustrating!

[overitand36]

set an alarm clock for every (what works for you) and make him go when it goes off

also get some pullups not nappies

[~ElectricPink~]

My son at 3 and a half is exactly the same!!! So I know what you're going through! He's been in undies during the day for the last four months, he still has constant accidents unless I remind him to go, and even then he'll still have accidents. He won't tell me when he needs to go, and most of the time he doesn't even care about being in wet undies and pants! I'm at my wits end with it, feels like he'll never be toilet trained!! Good luck, I hope you find a solution!

[FiveInTheBed]

DD had a two steps forward one step back time with TT... it wouldn't bother her one day to be standing in a puddle, and then the next she'd be rushing to the loo...etc etc

I just went with it - the times we left for the shops or another outing I put a pull up/nappy on her , but other than that just had a potty in an accesible area and :yelclap: made a fuss when the day was ended with dry pants.

it was frusrating...very frustrating - but I didn't wanna go back to nappies.

but if it means less mess for a couple of months until he really wants to try/gets it/or you aren't so tied to L&E...mayby try some absorby training pants?


good luck x

[melannh]

My dd is exactly the same (so, its not just the boys)
I am very frustrated. She was doing great - then the last 3 weeks, been going down hills.

Exaclty what u said - i would remind, ask - and often she says she doesn't need to go - 5 mins later... WET :confused: Last sunday - we went thru 8 pairs of pants/undies (over it)

She goes to kindy, and if back in nappies - she has to go down to the jnr room. I know that she doesn't want that - but still, she's having accidents... Yesterday was about 4 - but at kindy, it was only 2 and on tuesday - there were NONE.

She has a night-nappy on, but i don't want her to go back to the jnr room, along with i have just gotten use to not having nappies now (although, the transition was long and hard)

I am just trying to not get overly frustrated (trust me, its hard) - so we're just working with it, reminding her when we can, even MAKING HER (but i hate starting the argument)

Hope we all get some success soon.

[Beck13]

I had the same prob with my ds - 3.5yrs just recently - not too bad though, only occassionally. As he absolutely love his books and we read at least 3 before both his day sleep and bedtime I told him that if he had wet jocks then he would only get one book at sleep times. Worked a treat! Along with really over the top positive reinforcement when he did go to the loo by himself without me having to remind him. It can be really frustrating but I agree with what others have said, try not to stress too much, he'll get it eventually and really they say alot of boys don't even start toilet training until the age of 3 so he's doing pretty well really. Good luck

[Sheer Bliss]

Thanks everyone - it is good to know we are not alone!

I dug out all of DD1's cloth pull-up style nappy/pants and have stuffed them with just one microfibre booster, so he will be wet, but not the massive puddle on the floor wet which means less to clean-up. And we have been doing the massive praising when he goes, esp without being asked. I guess I (as I always say to the kids) 'learn some patience' and he will get there eventually. I am also making him take his wet-stuff off and pull the insert out and put in the nappy bucket, which cuts into his play time - maybe that will help him realise that going on the loo = more time to play than weeing in pants!

[miraclebaby]

From everything I have read about toilet training, the worst thing you can do is make a fuss or go cranky if they have an accident.

My boy is 3.5 and I didn't bother with toilet training until he showed he was ready, asked for underpants instead of a nappy at about one week before turning 3.

Prior to that we had lots of discussions about being a big boy and not wearing nappies and how Mr A, B and C (friends) didn't wear nappies.

I waited til he could wear a nappy at night and it would be dry in the morning. Then I left the nappy off at night and during the day.

At first he was fantastic at going to the loo but about 6 months later he would have slight accidents. A bit of wee in the pants but not a full on void of his bowels or bladder.
I think this is normal for little kids. They really are so involved in what they are doing that their bodily functions are irrelevant.
Don't make a fuss if this happens. The more you get cranky or frustrated about it, the worse they can become. Just praise them when they do well.
My little boy has had only 3 nightime accidents and that is only when he has been so tired out from physical exercise that I really don't blame him for not being able to get up and wee.

They're only little. Go easy. It's frustrating but from every friend, relative, etc I have ever met, the information is that if you make a fuss you make it worse. You can still insist on wanting him or her to go toilet but don't make a fuss if they stuff up.
They've been in this world for such a short time and they have learnt so much already.

[Hooves]

How are you going with this.

My 4 year old, just started making a huge habbit of wetting his pants, night and now day time.

HE is also being very negative towards his little brother. IT is frustrating, but we have started 2 discipline regimes, with him. ONE for all the big boy stuff he does, and One for all the baby things he does.

IT seems he is having some issues, with his place in the family. He isn't the baby any more, and while he was fine with that 12 months ago, the reality of it, is really sinking in, now I think.

He has been doing all sorts of baby things lately. The wetting has become the most prominent, at the moment though, I think because we have to deal with it when it happens, and it is an attention thing. IYKWIM?



I swear sometimes I feel like I need a degree in child psychology to parent these children of mine. :( We haven't managed to get him to stop it yet, but it has only been going on a couple of weeks, during the day time. As frustrating as it is, I am sure we will get there eventually. *sigh*

[Sheer Bliss]

Can I join you on getting the degree to learn how to deal with all this - lol.

He has had a massive improvement the last week. I realised that I had been giving him the wrong yoghurt (he is meant to be on the failsafe diet, sort-of) and it had a nasty preservative in it. About a week after we stopped giving that to him, his whole outlook on everything changed! So we let him pick new undies, and then on his first day in them he had a whole spiderman outfit (my nephew was obsessed, so we have sooo many clothes!) and made a big deal about not wanting to wee on spiderman. It worked!! I still have to remind him, but I wait for him to ask for morning tea, then ask him to 'try' and go, when he refuses, I tell him that is fine, he doesn't have to, and go about what I am doing. Then when he asks for morning tea again, I remind him that he can't have any until he tries. After a round or 2 of that he storms off, 'oh, alriiiiiiight' then comes running back all excited because he did a wee! We make a big deal etc then have morning tea, go outside, get the play doh out - whatever it was he asked for in the first place! It's still a battle, and he wet himself today when DH was here, not adhering to the rules, but I think we have found an answer!!

Thanks for asking! Your 4yo sounds like me!! I was 18months and TT day and night (apparently) but my older sis was 3yrs older and had lots of trouble with it. When I was 2, i worshipped her, copied everything she did, including wetting the bed again. It was a big attention thing I think, a sticker chart sorted me out well, lol, I am easily bent. It took her until she was about 11 to gain full control. Her 9yo DS still wets the bed at night too.

[Hooves]

Sounds like you guys have found a solution that is working.

My boy, is only having accidents with me now. I am convinced it is fully for attention.

I am not really sure, how to go about fixing it. But I am going to drag out the reward chart this week, again I think. It may just work, with him.