12 months apart........

[Tannie]

Hi,
I had a bub in Feb 05 and am due almost to the day in Feb 06 again :)
We're very happy about it, but I'd love to communicate with others who have had experienced having kids this close together - any tips? advice? suggestions?

Some things I've been thinking about:
* Should they sleep in same room or different rooms?
* With stroller / pram - what's better one that's side by side or limo style? I like the idea of limo style cause the side by sides are so wide to get through anywhere.......but does the baby in the back hate being "behind" pretty quickly? Make a fuss?? etc
* How do I deal with the lack of sleep??!!! With 1 bub, I could take naps when she napped......with 2 - unlikely they will both go to sleep at same times and after being up all night feeding the little one -how do I manage the older one? Reckon I should try get some childcare a few days a week so I can have an easier day here-n-there?
* Is it okay to share 1 change table? or reckon I should get another?

Any info welcome!
T

[draught]

Congratulations!!!!
Mine are a little further apart than yours will be (20 months) but here are some answers to your questions based on my experiences

* Should they sleep in same room or different rooms?
I have kept mine in seperate rooms so that they don't wake each other at night. I see a day coming when they can share a room but think that they both need to be sleeping in a similar fashion before it will work for us.

* With stroller / pram - what's better one that's side by side or limo style? I like the idea of limo style cause the side by sides are so wide to get through anywhere.......but does the baby in the back hate being "behind" pretty quickly? Make a fuss?? etc
We have used a Phil and Ted's E3 pram which has the toddler seat that goes on top while baby is small and then on the back when they are both sitting up. Mine are now 2 1/2 and 10 months and they interchange on who sits in back with no dramas at all. I like the set up as, unlike a limo pram, they can't touch each other, so there is no hair pulling and hat stealing! I also like the fact that if you are out with just one of the children the pram is easily set up for just one. Have a look at the website for the set up - www.philandted.com

* How do I deal with the lack of sleep??!!! With 1 bub, I could take naps when she napped......with 2 - unlikely they will both go to sleep at same times and after being up all night feeding the little one -how do I manage the older one? Reckon I should try get some childcare a few days a week so I can have an easier day here-n-there?

It actually didn't take too long to be able to coordinate day time sleeps with the two and for me to be able to sleep when they were asleep - and I still do now when I can. I did have my eldest in family day care three days a week initially (kept going from when I was working and with a view to holding the place for when I returned) and then dropped back to one day a week after about three months and it certainly bought me some sleep and sanity as we have no family around and my husband is away a lot. I also used DVD and videos a lot in the early period to hold my older child's attention while I fed, showered, etc. At the time I felt guilty but as this phase passed within a few months I am over the guilt!

* Is it okay to share 1 change table? or reckon I should get another?
We still use the one table - we just moved it to the bathroom so that it is half way between their two bedrooms (luckily the bathroom had room). I have one friend who has the change table in their living room for the same reason - easy to access for both with no dramas about midnight changes.

[Melissa1983]

Hi
Mine are 12 months and 1 week apart to the day.

I have always had them in separte rooms so they don't wake each other up. I had a double side by side pram which i thought was great, but try and get the stroller one as some don't fit through doors. Are you going to get a pram? Where abouts are you?

With the lack of sleep, i can't answer that one as i never get much sleep now, as they both still wake 2-3 times a night still :(

With the change table i just used the same one, but wiped in down everytime i used it.

I find it every hard for the first few months, well actually until one was out of nappies, it is getting alittle easier because mikayla is trying to help. You will get asked alot what were you thinking... I did.

Good luck

[Peaceangels]

My two are 14.5 months apart and in the beginning it was hard, but it definately gets easier! They are great mates and love playing together now.
In adding to what has already been advised, my biggest reccommendation would be to stick to a routine every day - makes life easier on the littlies (although it does get a bit boring for mum) as they know what is coming next. I always prepare mine ahead of time for sleeps, ie-we are going to have some lunch now, then afterwards we will have a sleep (as sleep is the one they usually want to resist).
Sleeping in separate rooms definately works better (from experience), as they are sleeping/waking at different times. Also you are not going to interupt the older child's already established sleep pattern.
I found the side by side stroller the best (easy to manouvre, and to put up/fold down), but you have to use the disabled aisle, for which the que is usually longer.
Lack of sleep - I don't think you ever get used to this! Try and get their day sleeps at the same time, so you can have a nap or just some time to yourself.
Another one to add is to try and have some one on one time with older child, as this will help them adjust to bub being around.

[ThomasMum]

* How do I deal with the lack of sleep??!!! T

Hey Tannie, I might not be able to help you -experience wise because we only have one bub and not planning to have another one...not just yet anyway but I think whether you have one or two or more sleeping is like distant memory for us parents! He he

One of my colleagues from work said that she hasnt had any good sleep since she had kids (her youngest is 11 years old lol)

Good luck anyway, I'm sure you will do fantastically managing your family! :D

Love Peace

ML

[our little treasures]

CONGRATS.
I've just had my second at 18mnths apart although he is only 3 weeks. I've found the side by side is great for a pram I have one that goes in normal sized front doors etc. Such an easy pram better than our single that we have. As for sleep we haven't got a routine at our house but my dh gets my dd at night and I get to our bubs as I bf, this is great as I'm not up all night. I've found my dd actually is behaving a bit better as I have not as much time to run to her every scream.

My sis inlaw had hers 13mnths apart but her bubs are so very placid. We use the same change table with a clean nappy on it for warmth and hygiene, sleep them in seperate rooms so they get some quality sleep.

Make a few meals and freeze for when you come home make things easier. Don't worry to much about sleep organise someone to come and help while you have catch up even if this is once a week. I have a great hubby so we do it all ourselves. At the moment He gets up with dd and I go back to bed either with ds or without for a few hrs or until he goes to work.

You will no doubt have a few days where you wonder what you were thinking but we all have those days.
good luck

[bb]

Thanks for asking these questions !! I am the very happy mum of a 4 month old, who came into our lives through IVF. My husband and I are keen to try to have another one as soon as possible, as we have no idea how long it will take, and I am already 35 years old (bubs #1 took just over 2 years).

We actually thought that it might be easier (and feel free to call us mad) having them closer together as we will still be in the mode of no sleep, etc ... rather than just getting all of that back ... and whammo ... having it disappear again !

Anyway, I cannot really help with any wonderful advice (like the other mums who have written here) but I just wanted to say thanks for asking the questions I have been thinking of asking, and thanks to the people who have answered !!

Best of luck with everything !

BB

[Tannie]

Thanks everyone for helpful advice!
Angel - what sort of sidebyside do you have? I'm researching this at the moment and any recommendations are useful.........I realised after buying the big, heavy pram for the first one the main priority is having something light and easy to get in/out of the car.........I have a Valco Urban Ultralight which is just fantastic (only 5.2kgs!!) and they make a sidebyside........so am thinking of this.

Unfortunately - my Hb works in a job where he's here one week, then gone the next..........so whilst it's good to have him home 24/7 for 7 days........then I have to do without him completely for 7 days. If bubs is not sleeping etc - can be a long week by myself!! He will get a few weeks off of course, when this ones born - but probably only 2 weeks. sometimes if he has to do courses etc - he has to also go away on his week "off" - I'm hoping not too much of that happens in first half of next year!

I don't have any family nearby and as we've just moved here - no friends as yet either - so pretty alone currently. I'm sure I'll meet some people - but I'm not the sort of person who can quickly make friends to the extent of phoning and asking for as much help as is required with a baby. I'd be worried that people who have just made "friends" with me would resent it and I'd never be sure where to draw the line etc with asking for help. I'm sort of a person who prefers others to "offer" rather then have to ask....iykwim? I guess I will just hope that some kind souls out there will see me struggling and offer to help out occasionally...........

I will probably get someone in to do housework for me for a while + try get older bub into some childcare a few days a week..........that's the only "plan" so far!

thanks,
T

[RuthK]

Tannie

My first 2 were 18 months apart and my second 2 will be 21 months apart. I've tried every pram on the market. Tandems are like a train to push outdoors, but not too bad in shopping centres. Side-by-side worked well until my son turned 3 and then it broke as they can only take weights of up to about 15 kgs. I have now bought a Phil & Ted's pram, which is a single jogger, but has an attachment that allows the newborn to lie flat with the older one in a toddler seat, or as they get older, for the older child to sit in the main pram and the younger one to sit in the toddler seat which also affixes down below (best to view a picture yourself). I've found it to be the best by far, very compact and easy to push. The kids don't fight anymore either as they are not alongside each other.

Good luck

[Tannie]

You mean the one that looks like the baby at the back is underneath the top one? I've seen them & wondered if they were all they are cracked up to be ;) Certainly LOOK different! How heavy are they? I want something I can swing into the back of the car easily and whip out to go shopping etc..........

Thanks in advance,
T

[draught]

Tannie
That is the same pram I wrote about - it is not that heavy and is pretty easy to collapse and swing into the car. It is lighter than a friend's tandem limo pram I borrowed recently, and easier to push around both the streets and the shops.
To check out the dimensions etc here is the CORRECT website this time (nothing like a typo to send you in the wrong direction!) www.philandteds.com . My tip for putting it in the car is to lie it upside down - i.e. with the wheels up in the air - it is then quite compact and lies flat.
The one thing I don't like about it is the way that the harness is set up - I find it hard to get it to a snug fitting on a small baby, but given the ease that the design gives me in other respects I have coped with it.

[Tannie]

Thanks for this!
It's a lot more $$ then I wanted to spend...............will have to think about it.
Ta,
T

[Peaceangels]

I can recommend the Mclaren side by side, although I bought it second hand from a friend ($180) and it has been fantastic. Easy to put up/down and not too bulky for boot of the car.........
I used it right from when DS2 was newborn as the seat reclines down to laying position......and we still use it!!

[Tannie]

Thanks - my problem with side by sides is the width - i think would be rather restrictive? Like the other day I was in shopping centre and on a whim (bub was asleep!) I went into Robins Kitchen for a nice "browse" and really enjoyed myself for 10 minutes :) It would have been impossible with a side by side - Iwould have knocked everything in the store over......... :eek:

I'm looking at a Graco Stadium Duo....weighs 11.7kgs, seems to have plenty of storage under.......anyone got one?

What about sleeping in same room or seperate room? Anyone got specific "case studies" orthoughts on that? I'm really in 2 minds about it - esp as it would be nice to continue to have a spare room for visitors rather then the loungeroom floor! But of course, the bubs come first - just REALLY curious - I mean - in my parents day we all shared rooms, but these days we seem to have a belief that every baby "needs" their own room...??? so - is it REALLY necessary or just one of those modern, western conventions we don't question anymore?

Ta,
T

[Angelmist♥]

Hi my sons are 13 months apart and I found separate rooms to be the best way for us just until a routine was set. It depends on what sort of sleeping pattern your oldest child is in?Does she sleep through the night? and is she a heavy sleeper?My kids are now 4 and 5 and they have shared a room for the last 2 years and absolutely love it. Are you going to need 2 cots? We "made" our oldest son a room about a month b4 youngest was born with his own big boy's bed and toys (which we made a big deal of) and there was never a drama from then on. Another thing is a pressie from the new baby for your little girl (given to her at first meeting) that was a major plus for our eldest! And I do have to say that if you need to DO NOT feel guilty for letting your eldest watch a movie (ha ha wiggles works a treat).

[Tannie]

Thanks! I guess I just assumed DD would be too small yet for "big bed"........we dont really mind getting another cot - I haven't worried too much yet about the "introductions" will have to wait and see what she's up to by Feb adn work that out as we go I guess - good idea about the pressie etc though, I admit in my naivety I didn't think she'd be up to understanding the whole "concept" of new baby brother or sister at 12 months :confused:

Keep em coming ladies! Every post is new and good information!
T