Very confused about ttc #2

[Ruffle]

Hi Everyone,
Recently my DF has expressed that he would like to ttc #2. We have a DD who just turned 5 in May and is just perfect. I have always said I dont want my children more than 6 years apart, as this was the age gap with my brother. We had a great childhood together and still have a fantastic relationship now but I feel if we were further apart this wouldnt have been the case.
But since seriously thinking about having another and all the little things involved with pregnancy, labour and a new born I have sort of freaked myself out. I have seriously never been so confused in all my life.
I feel like I need to ttc #2 now because time is running out in regards to age gap (but not in age, I'd still have a good 10 yrs) but on the other hand I dont know if I am ready.
Any thoughts, advice or own personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. So please comment :)
Ruffles

[hamlady]

Hi Ruffles I dont really think any age gap matters, my sister and I are 11 years apart and we are still very close. I think when you feel comfortable and ready to ttc then go for it. Pregnancy and labor are hard but remember all the good parts like when you felt them kick the first time of the first scan or when you first layed eyes on them. Good luck with what ever you decide.

[Slapmyelbow]

My sister and I are 13 yrs apart.. with the same parents.. and there is only two of us. I would say we are close, but not in the way my cousin who is the same age as me are. But we still share the bond as siblings.

I would just try to relax about TTC and do it when you're ready. One or two more years is not going to make a whole lot of difference in terms of closeness in an age gap if you wait.

Good luck with it. Just think its only 9 months when you get unimaginable joy and love for the rest of your life. :hugs:

[Ruffle]

Hi Hamlady and Mummy2BubbyGirl :wave:

Thank you so for the kind words! You are both completely right! After calming down (I'm a stress head if you hadnt noticed :chillpill:) and a lot of talking to DF I am feeling a lot better. I am even quite excited about the thought of TTC#2. In saying that I am still happy to let myself take some time and do some more thinking. No rush to make a decision right away.

I just wanted to thank you both again, your thoughts and advice really mean a lot, thank you for being so positive and helpful :hugs:

Hope all is well your end with your families!
Ruffles :p

[grechka]

I have a 9 year gap with my sister and I must say that closeness didn't come easy to us, we've had our fair share of problems although things are a lot better now. This and the feeling that my parents didn't really do a good job at easing tension between us made me very reluctant and scared to have a second child. My husband who is the only child and had a pretty happy childhood was of the same opinion. We've had many discussions on the subject and eventually (not sure how or why :confused:) we changed our minds and now i am pregnant with our second :). It is a strange feeling, I am still confused and scared but hoping and praying that I will be able to do a good job at helping the kids develop a bond and love each other. Their gap will be 6 yrs and I am hoping this won't be too large.
Just wanted to share my story because what you wrote really resonated with my feelings. Best of luck with watever you decide!!:flowerz:

[Ruffle]

Hi Grechka,
Thank you so much for sharing your story and thoughts! A big congrats on your 2nd pregnancy :D I think thats fantastic news! I am sure you will be able to help your children have a fantastic bond and relationship together, especially when it is something that is so important to you :)! How far are you and when are you due? Do you know what you are having? If you need/want someone to talk to through the journey I would love to keep in contact.
Im glad to hear things are a lot better with your sister now :) I was very lucky that my brother and I got along really well (I know I annoyed more than anything when I was young though). I think him being a big brother made things easier, in the sense that I was his baby sister and he was there to look out for me.
Well hun if I fall pregnant my little ones will be 6 years apart too. I am happy with that age but I dont think I would like a bigger gap (just me). As each day goes by it is feeling more and more 'right' but I still have my scared moments which I know is very normal but still gets me thinking. But thank you again for your reply, it all helps and its great to hear from someone who is similar :)
Take care and I hope everything goes really well for you and your wonderful famild :D xx

[MissSteph]

Hi Ruffles,

I had our 2nd bub 5 weeks ago and for the first couple of weeks after he was born I told DF I WOULD NOT have anymore children.. but I now know I will definately want another in 6,7,8 + years time. We had our 2 19 months apart, I'm only 21 (in august) so I know I will want another once I get closer to my 30's (probably because I'll know my "time" is slowly running out. I'm also concerned about the age gap because I don't want a really big gap. BUT in saying that, I don't have any real reason not to want a huge age gap because my eldest brother and I are 15 years apart and my other brother and I are 10 years apart and I have a beautiful relationship with both of my brothers!

I think your DD is at a wonderful age to have a sibiling. Even though my DD is only 20 months, she is extremely protective of her little brother, and she is very helpful and very loving and affectionate towards him. There is nothing more precious than seeing your eldest child display so much love towards their sibiling. It's a beautiful thing! Yeah it will probably change as they get older and bicker at each other :laughing: but for now I'm completely smitten with it all!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do :)

[Darlene888]

I'd say that I a a stresshead like you, too. I stress out about the thought of another pregnancy and all the paranoia that came with it, the pain of labor, the episiotomy, and the sleepless nights after giving birth. Not to mention the costs! On the other hand, I know these fears are just in my head. So I am confused, too, like you... but I am leaning towards waiting another 2 or three years =)