View Full Version : Refusing breast and bottle
Mischief
14-08-2006, 21:15
Help....what do I do with my young son....its taking me 2 hours or so to get 180ml into him.... he drinks a little then throws a huge hissy fit, arches his back, clamps his mouth shut and turns his head away, if he opens his mouth its because he is SCREAMING and still will not suck!
I think he's getting teeth thru....but this is starting to worry me.
I have started offering him more breast, but he does the same thing after the initial few sucks there too.
He's only 4 months old, is he self weaning already? What can I do?
I have an appointment with the CHN tomorrow, but was hoping for some advice in the mean time....
My son is 4 mths old and honestly he doesnt have the full 180 mls, he has 120 then about an hour break then the rest. Maybe you could try braeking the feed up. My DS just it's ready for the full bottle yet and he is healty and happy :D Good Luck hun :fingerscrossed:
Is it just the one feed? Or has this been going on a few days?
If its just the one feed - don't stress.
If he is refusing both the breast and bottle, I doubt he is self-weaning. As you say, he might just be teething, and lots of bubs go off their food when they are getting teeth. If he's otherwise ok, I think a few smaller feeds should not be of concern.
He also just might not be hungry for that feed at that time? You could try offering the bottle/breast a bit later instead. Its not worth fighting over - he will eat when he is hungry....
:hugs:
nikkiiandriley
14-08-2006, 21:40
Is his stomach in knots. sounds a bit like what my girl has gone though with reflux before medication she would take 2 hours at breast or bottle just for 80mls or 120mls. she is 12 weeks this week. but every time she has wind traped in her bowel now she even puts on a turn and pulls on and off the breast no matter what position that she is in. so it can be better to give her a bottle then. If that sounds farmilar dr sounds like a go thing..
Mischief
15-08-2006, 08:13
Its only the past week or so....and its apeared with all the other teething signs....blowing bubbles, being cranky, red cheeks (come and go though), biting (not sucking) on everything....etc.
I dont think he has wind....I burp him well after and during each feed, and give him a couple of doses of infants friend a day too....
aprilbaby
15-08-2006, 09:25
Hey Kat,
My DS did this once at about 3 months and I still don't know what caused it. He wasn't teeething, sick or anything like that, he just screamed everytime I tried to feed him for about 12 hours. It was the same as Ollie, he would suck for a second or so and then pull off and scream. When I stopped trying to feed him he was fine but as soon as I even offered it he'd be beside himself.
It was very stressful so I know what you're going through, but try not to worry too much. IMO Ollie will feed when he's ready and as simplistic as it sounds maybe he's just not hungry today. With DS I don't think it was wind or anything, but in the end I thought maybe he just had a sore tummy and didn't want to feed til it settled.
That's all I could come up with in my situation and he's never done it since so hopefully it's the same for you. Just one of those random unexplainable things our boys put us through!
Hope this helps, let me know how you go. :hugs:
Mischief
15-08-2006, 16:35
Well I told the CHN and she wasnt worried either. Said it sounds like he's teething....and this could go on for a couple of months on and off. :(
She said he's growing really well though so he is obviously getting enough to eat and just to persever in the mean time! :O
~EmsMum~
15-08-2006, 16:56
Well I told the CHN and she wasnt worried either. Said it sounds like he's teething....and this could go on for a couple of months on and off. :(
She said he's growing really well though so he is obviously getting enough to eat and just to persever in the mean time! :O
my DD is having one of those days today she just doesn't want the bottle, those blooming teeth
reAllytee
15-08-2006, 17:05
Poor thing try not to stress sounds like he is teething & will eat when he is hungry as Noo said.
We are going through all of this yet again with Boof as he is finally breaking his molars through so is grumpier than ever before he throws his food wont eat anything even trying to get him to take a sip is a nightmare.
Thank God for Brauers !
Mischief
15-08-2006, 18:08
OMG Oliver is SCREAMING whenever we go near him with the bottle.....or boob!
I dont know what to do, he gets so upset he screams and screams and screams.....its about 6 hours since his last feed, he's only had about 400ml to drink today and at his feed in the middle of the night he only fed for about 10 minutes! :gloomy:
~EmsMum~
15-08-2006, 18:52
OMG Oliver is SCREAMING whenever we go near him with the bottle.....or boob!
I dont know what to do, he gets so upset he screams and screams and screams.....its about 6 hours since his last feed, he's only had about 400ml to drink today and at his feed in the middle of the night he only fed for about 10 minutes! :gloomy:
hun don't get to worried about it :hugs: emma hadn't had a feed for 7 hours and then she finally took her bottle
Mischief
15-08-2006, 19:46
Oh my gosh! *BAWLING* :gloomy:
That was the worst ever.....It just took me an hour and a half of fighting and tears (both sides) to get 80ml into Oliver and then he screamed and screamed and his cry turned frantic and he screamed and screamed.... then it took another half an hour of rocking and singing to calm him and have him drink another 100ml....He finally went to sleep in my arms and Ive put him down.
I really hope its just teething and there isnt something horribly wrong....it just breaks my heart. Ive taken him to the Dr, and the CHN, and they both said its just a phase..... its so heartbreaking. Ive been bawling and bawling. :crying:
~EmsMum~
15-08-2006, 19:50
Oh my gosh! *BAWLING* :gloomy:
That was the worst ever.....It just took me an hour and a half of fighting and tears (both sides) to get 80ml into Oliver and then he screamed and screamed and his cry turned frantic and he screamed and screamed.... then it took another half an hour of rocking and singing to calm him and have him drink another 100ml....He finally went to sleep in my arms and Ive put him down.
I really hope its just teething and there isnt something horribly wrong....it just breaks my heart. Ive taken him to the Dr, and the CHN, and they both said its just a phase..... its so heartbreaking. Ive been bawling and bawling. :crying:
is your little man happy until you give him the bottle or boob, if he is then id definately say its his poor teeth
Mischief
15-08-2006, 19:52
Mandy - Yep, hes all smiles and giggles until its time for food. :(
~EmsMum~
15-08-2006, 19:56
Mandy - Yep, hes all smiles and giggles until its time for food. :(
:hugs: for you and your little man
aww hun :hugs: Big hugs. I hope he gets better. :fingerscrossed:
Kat :hugs: if he doesn't want to feed, I wouldn't fight with him over it for an hour and a half. If he doesn't take to it after 10 minutes of trying, I would stop and do somethign else, then come back and try again in another 10 minutes or so.
Its obviously stressing you both out, so maybe try to chill a little, and trust that he will eat when he is hungry? I know you must be worried, but sometimes all you can do is follow their lead, and try not to worry about routines and mls and all that. Teething can be pretty rough on them, and sometimes they do go off their food a bit.
Funkychicken
15-08-2006, 20:19
I don't know if this will help you but 4 months is typically a rough time for the BF bub. I learnt about this a few months ago (you'd think I would have learnt earlier, having had two babes beforehand!) when Hamish wasn't gaining weight and was fussing a lot at feed time. I was so scared he was 'refusing' me. We did a few things to help with my supply, although that isn't what is happening for you and Oliver. Hamish did get past it after a week or so and went back to feeding normally and has done so ever since.
Also, I got my period back a few days after Hamish started fussing and apparently this can affect the taste of the milk (hormones etc...). Is this a possibility?
misskittyfantastico
15-08-2006, 20:31
DD went through a very similar thing...it was thoroughly AWFUL!! she screamed like a banshee! it lasted about ten days. Things did eventually settle.:hugs: I hope it gets better soon.
Mischief
15-08-2006, 20:42
Thanks guys.
Ive already had my period twice and Oliver has been fine with it........ So I dont think its that....
The problem is he is hungry, he's crying cause he is, then crying when I try to feed him....
I just dont know what to do. I guess I'll pray and pray and pray that its over soon!!!
misskittyfantastico
15-08-2006, 20:45
Have you tried panandol or the Brauers teething stuff?
Goosie22
15-08-2006, 21:00
Mischief,
Have you tried the ABA (http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/refusal.html) suggestions for coping with breast refusal?
It's hard to know what to do when they get so upset, I know you will give him lots of love and both of you will make it through this difficult situation.
The problem is he is hungry, he's crying cause he is, then crying when I try to feed him....
I just dont know what to do. I guess I'll pray and pray and pray that its over soon!!!
Mischief....! I'm going through the EXACT thing now too..:crying: :banghead: My DS is only 2 months...???
It's been going on for about 1 week, and I thought it was over today, but he's just had another hissy fit in the last hour. He's finally asleep now, after having hardly any boob.
I've tried ALL the wind preparations - no good.
It's HORRIBLE! :crying:
hi , breast refusal is so upsetting, but it is usually a phase.
i have had a coupla brushes with it. in our case my lo was getting sick, she didn't seem sick but when i took her to the gp she had a obviously sore throat. so no wonder she hadn't wanted to feed. the other times i think it was hormonal, dd2 was always fussy for af and had 2 days of refusal when i first fell pregnant with dd3.
if you think that your lo is getting upset because of teething pain maybe you could try some teething gel or even a cold teether for him to suck on before a feed.
i'm sure that ABA link had heaps of other good suggestions so i will jsut shoosh up now:D
Tam-I-Am
16-08-2006, 01:15
Have you got a copy of "Baby Love"? If so, please read the section on breast refusal.
Apparently its really really normal at about Oliver's age for bubs to go through this. Please don't stress out (I know, easier said than done). I remember when Claire was going through her stage of breastrefusal and it felt like the world was coming to an end. As a mummy to a young bubba you're so tied up in the feeding. Fact of the matter is, Oliver WILL BE FINE if he misses a few feeds. Don't fight him on it - all that acheives is stressing both you and him out. Prepare the bottle, offer it to him (or if you can't bear the thought of wasting all that liquid gold - offer him the boobie if you can stand it for a couple of days), and if he refuses, fine. Cuddles, play time, sleep time - whatever. Hand him over to dad for a little while if possible. Try again in half an hour. Same thing? - same thing....
One day, he'll forget that he was ever upset about it, and just go back on as though nothing had ever happened. I promise, it will be fine. I know it doesn't feel like it now - but honestly, it will. So long as he's happy and alert, still having 3 or 4 good wet nappies a day, and is sleeping okay when appropriately, he can go a little while without the usual amount of milk.
I know this is really stressful - I really do remember just how upset I was when Claire was doing this - but I promise, it will be over soon. Big hugs, chin up - and PM me if you want a sympathetic shoulder, lovey.:hugs:
Mischief
16-08-2006, 07:54
Its not so much breast refusal as FOOD refusal. :(
Again this morning....I rubbed his gums (under much protest from O Man), Offered him breast (no go), offered him bottle (no go, but rocking and singing got him to have 100ml), he fell alseep, so Ive popped him down for a rest, and will offer another 100ml when he wakes up....
Hope this stops soon!
~EmsMum~
16-08-2006, 08:02
Its not so much breast refusal as FOOD refusal. :(
Again this morning....I rubbed his gums (under much protest from O Man), Offered him breast (no go), offered him bottle (no go, but rocking and singing got him to have 100ml), he fell alseep, so Ive popped him down for a rest, and will offer another 100ml when he wakes up....
Hope this stops soon!
poor O :(
I hope he drinks something for you today
reAllytee
16-08-2006, 10:39
If he doesnt drink today i would take him off to the doctors & push for something to be done because him not drinking over a few days could mean there is a problem.
But try not to stress for now he may take the next 100mls when he wakes quite happily so the less you stress about it the less he feels that from you i know its hard :hugs:
4mths is also the time of fussy feeding because bubs just are discovering their world and they don't want to stop playing long enough to eat, i think:rolleyes:
there was a stage i had to feed in a quiet dark room or dd wasn't interested.
feed patterns do change too, i found dd would feed more at night when it was quiet/she was sleepy.
i trust my dd to eat when she is hungry, as long as i am offerring often, i think she'll eat when she needs to.
hoping it passes quick for you.:fingerscrossed:
Kat (empower Kat?)
Mine (shes is almost 16months now) does this as well either when she is teething or if she has a sore throat.
She has been a really bad teether the last hmm maybe 6 months with her first 2 molars going up and down on and off for months (they have now cut). Anyway there were times where I was really struggling with breastfeeding her despite her normaly being a very frequent feeder (she loves her boob). Infact she has only recently started eating solids 3 times a day since her top molars finished. Wasn't getting any sleep either.
She was even worse when she had a sore throat once, so keep an eye on that too.
Now she is doing it again with solids the last couple of days and has been grumpy in the mornings and most of the day. She may have a sore throat as my son had one for the last few days but shes been sleeping well so maybe shes just teething her top molars.
Hang in there!
Oh I should say my son cut his first tooth around 3.5 to 4 months.
Ejs been doing a similar thing the last week or so - She is teething but is also sick at pres getting over croup so it could also be a sore throat. An interesting thing the GP said when i took her to him and said how she was reacting to feeding is what did I give her solid wise before it was happening - it ended up cause she was sick with the croup etc she wasnt handing dairy real well - As soon as i stopped dairy products for a few days there was no more refusing the boob (then again this would also coincide with the time started antibiotics)
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