scared....labour #2

[mayasmum]

hi everyone
just really want to hear from people who have had two or more VBs and how your second birth went.

i was reflecting the other day on the pain of labour (like most people, i had effectively surpressed the memories of the pain....thank goodness!) but as i remembered more and more of how painful it was - BTW I didn't have any drugs just gas as by the time i wanted to ask for an epi it was too late - i started having a panic attack about the pain of the next labour.

it's funny, because i went into the first one so keen on a drug-free birth and relatively calm, but so naive and ignorant really! I really didn't think it would hurt SO much for so long (30 hours). I especially hated the pushing for over an hour. :eek:

so this time i go into it without that blissful ignorance and naivety. i've heard some people say they are more relaxed the second time around because they know what to expect, but it's precisely because I do know what to expect I feel like I'm going to be more freaked out. but I don't really want an epidural if I can help it.

i know you often hear that second labours are so much quicker/easier. is this really true for most people?? how were your experiences of natural birth second time around????

[JanetF]

Good on you for taking the healthiest and best route for your baby's health and your own. I hope these links might give you some ideas about how to deal with your upcoming birth. I hope it's really beautiful! Don't forget that studies into pain relief show clearly that women with lots of emotional support, particularly from other women and known caregivers, deal with labour pain most happily. Labour is hard work but it need not be awful. It can be beautiful and fun and inspiring!
J

Natural pain relief in labour
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/refcap/546717.html

Pain relief and home birth (useful in any situation though)
http://www.homebirth.org.uk/pain.htm

Comfort measures for labour – the most complete list I’ve ever seen, a must read!
http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/comfort.html

Water birth stories
http://www.homebirth.org.uk/water.htm#birthstories

“The importance of relaxing by Grantley ****-Read MD
http://www.naturalchildbirth.org/ma...id=263&Itemid=3

http://radmid.demon.co.uk
From MIDWIFERY MATTERS, Summer 2000, Issue No. 85
Pain in Labour - Is it Insufferable?
By Margaret Jowitt

"Ecstatic Birth - nature's hormonal blueprint for labour" Dr Sarah Buckley
http://www.womenofspirit.asn.au/docs/ecstaticbirth.doc

"Help - it hurts! ... get me the complementary therapies!" Andrea Robertson
http://www.acegraphics.com.au/articles/andrea21.html

"The Pain of Labour: A Feminist Issue" Andrea Robertson
http://www.acegraphics.com.au/articles/painlabour.html

"No gain without pain" Nicky Leap
http://www.acegraphics.com.au/articles/leap02.html

http://gentlebirth.org/Midwife/birthjoy.html

http://www.childbirthsolutions.com/...ssure/index.php

[MyL&S]

hi mayasmum,

As my due date got closer and closer i kept saying how much pain i was going to be in and really working myself up cause you know what your in for! ..

My 1st labour i was induced, 4hrs and 45 mins of pushing a 10lb baby out OUCH!
2nd time around i was induced again 6Days over and this time it was 1hr and half with 6 mins pushing out sophie 8lb6..
Everyone different you definalty know the pain your going to be in but also you know how to control the pain.. breathe, breathe and breathe is all i can say really helped me!

[aardvark]

Both my labours were short and sharp - 4.25 hours for #1 and 4.5 hours for #2.

The first one I had no idea what to expect, other than it would hurt. I had been present at a few births before, which is more than many first time mums.

I used gas, and was told I was still a minimum of 5 hours away from the end when I decided I would have pethidine as I didn't think I could cope with the level of pain for that much longer. They gave it to me too late, baby was born after only another 20 minutes, not 5 hours, and needed to be rescusitated, and i spent the last 20 minutes of my labour screaming at my husband not to let me fall off the bed (which felt like it was 6 inches wide in my drug induced state). I should never have had the pethidine so late, and would not have asked for it, if I had any idea how little time was really left. The midwife had told me I was still in early first stage, and I was not "having serious contractions yet", when I was in fact late in transition.

What it did do for me though, was make me recognise the fact that as I began to feel less able to cope with the intensity during labour with #2, the closer the end was. Knowing this was enough for me to be able to cope without anything for pain. And I had stated from the outset that I was not to be given pethidine under ANY circumstances, and the midwife respected this, and her support really helped me cope better. That and the fact that I am as stubborn as a mule once I decide I'm going to do something my way, too.

The result was I enjoyed the birth of #2 much more, and while I was more aware of the pain, it somehow mattered less, and I felt much better immediately afterwards, too. I also found I was somehow more able to let my body go onto auto-pilot for #2 than I was for #1, and I spent most of my labour upright, either on a chair, or kneeling against the raised head of the bed, whereas with #1, I spent more time on my back, and I am sure that made a difference. I think there is a certain body confidence that comes from having done it before, which you can tap into.

Quite honestly, the quality of the midwife has much to do with how well you cope, too, I think. I'd walk over hot coals to have the same midwife for my upcoming birth as I did for #2.

[Rell]

My story is very simmiler to yours Aardvark. Both my labours were 4.5hours.
With No. 1 I too had pethadine when I was told I was hours away and gave birth 25min later(thankfuly no resusitation needed).
With No. 2 I figured I did it before with basicly just gas so I could do it again. Second time arround I definatly felt more in control, no one argued when I said I needed to push. When the pain got so bad I couldn't even suck on the gas I kept thinking I have done it before I can do it again.
The one thing I did find dificult 2nd time was the pushing, with my 1st came out with about 4 pushes but my 2nd it took 1/2hour. While I know this is quite short I just expected it to be as easy as the first, I guess being 1kg heavyer had something to do with it. The other good thing 2nd time was no stiches :)

[mannl]

I have had 3 children and was most scared with my third. I had pethadine with the 1st and 3rd and nothing with my 2nd (this of course was not by choice). The best thing to remember is that as soon as the baby is born you forget about everything. Just try and relax and take full advantage of being able to blame your husband for the pain you are enduring!!!! My husband said it has taken 3 years to get the circulation back in his hand as I squeezed so hard with our second.

All the best to you.

[mygirls]

Hi there!

When i have had 3 & my 2nd birth was by far the best!!!! No 1 was reasonably quick 4.5hrs of REAL pain & no drugs. No 2 was great i got induced (cervidal) on the Wed nite then got my waters broken & drip onthe Thurs morn at 8am my midwife counted labour from 8.30 when contractions became regular & i had my DD at 11am. Sure it hurt again but it was so quick it really didn't seem to matter & again it was a drug free birth. I can relate to how scared you can get especially since we know!!! the pain but it is an amazing experince. My number 3 was a lot like my no1 it was still only 4.5hrs but i went to get induced again at the nite but she decided that the gel was enough so she'd come out without anymore prompting i was really tired though because id scrubbed the house down the day before & thought i'd be like DD2 with a good night sleep with the gel & inducing in the morn - no such luck! but still drug free. I done all the breathing wit No1 & i did it again with the others but with No2 i had my back rubbed by hubby too (VERY hard) i didnt mind being touched which helped him feel more involved. I dont know about you but in labour i go into a "zone" where i just concentrate on what i have to do with breathing etc with each contraction otherwise i dont think i could cope! My ob has said every labour "look at the concentration" i guess i look amusing to them! Any way yes from my experience #2 was a LOT easier than my #1 & shorter. Try not to worry too much its all over before you know it & ur beautiful bub is here & its worth every minute of it. Sorry i prattled on to much (hubby always says i talk too much :) )

Me 24
DH 29
DD 3
DD 20mth
DD 4.5mth