tried... and failed

[portmama]

I tried CC tonight for the first time with my 8mo, and gave up after 45 mins. It just got too hard listening to her screams, and she's also teething so had given her panadol (no effect) so thought she may have been in pain, which made me give up. I tried going in after 2 mins, then 4, then 6, etc, for 1 min each time, rocking, giving a little cuddle- each time i would go in, she had just been standing up and screaming the whole time.

She usually wakes maybe 2 times before i go to bed, then 2 times in the night (once in a good night) and then i will feed her she drops straight back to sleep again. Sometimes she wakes more, but i ignore and she will go back to sleep- she seems to wake more when teething, maybe for comfort from the boob?

After i had enogh, i sat with her and fed, she was so relieved when i got boob out, she had a little chuck, think she was so worked up about everything.

So any tips on how i can do this?? I want my sleep back- from about 3 months she almost slept through, but teething has changed all that for the worse. I am so tired, and so is bubs.

I want to try again, could use some hints and ideas from those people who CC has worked for!!

[rynosmum]

You tried CC but you didn't fail. You listened to your baby and realised that her distress wasn't worth it.

My son took to CC immediately First night grizzled for up to 45 minutes, second night 15 minutes, 3rd night straight to sleep. He has been a fantastic sleeper ever since.

My daughter though was a completely different story. I tried to CC her twice and like your DD, she would get quite agitated. To me, it wasn't worth her distress so we shelved the idea. She was always a terrible sleeper. At 6 months, she was still up up to 6 times per night. She is 2 now and sleeps soundly from 7pm until 6am.

I know how entirely exhausting the months of broken sleep can be but just remember that bubby will work out her sleep as she gets older. CC may just not be right for her.

You sound like a great Mum who is in touch with her baby's needs. :thumbsup:

[KatiesMum]

sorry to say hun - but controlled crying really only works for 'normal' times ... ie not when bubs is waking up because her teeth hurt.

When the bubs is sick, teething or distressed .... the only think you can do is comfort them.

Its hard because it does mean no sleep for you - but if your bubs WAS sleeping through, with luck once she finishes getting her teeth she will go back to those sleep patterns.

In the mean time - you are doing the right thing comforting her.

[Seacretsquirrel]

sorry to say hun - but controlled crying really only works for 'normal' times ... ie not when bubs is waking up because her teeth hurt.

When the bubs is sick, teething or distressed .... the only think you can do is comfort them.

Its hard because it does mean no sleep for you - but if your bubs WAS sleeping through, with luck once she finishes getting her teeth she will go back to those sleep patterns.

In the mean time - you are doing the right thing comforting her.

:iagree:

My DD was one of those kids you had to leave (and not go in every few mins or she would get more worked up so I had to leave her for up to 20 mins (inital cry then grizzling - not full on crying for 20 mins) but you know your own child and know when they are getting too worked up I think you did the right thing stopping when you did Katies mum is right teething is a bad time to start CC as it is not a normal time (well compared to not teething time). My DD slept through from 3 months too until 6 months when the first teeth came through - and she started waking again I took the path of least resistance and gave her a feed and popped her back to bed as that was whet settled her fasted and allowed me to get back to bed quickly :D
i think relax don't be hard on yourself and see how she goes after the teeth come through and if she is continuing to wake (as a habit rather than a need) then revisit the CC.
HTH
SS :hugs:

[BabelFish]

You didn't fail, you were a sympathetic, attuned, caring mother who went to her baby when she was in distress.

If your daughter is screaming then perhaps controlled crying is something that you can revisit at a later time, when she is a bit older? At 8 months old it's quite normal for her to still be waking up a couple of times at least during the night.

Your sleep will come - her sleep will come. It comes. I wouldn't put yourself under so much pressure hon, especially if it makes you feel like a failure.

Try `Sleeping Like A Baby' by Pinky McKay. Beautiful techniques and help without all the guilt.

[portmama]

Thanks for all your support. :)
I actually tried again this morning, but don't think she was in pain, because when i picked her up to change her nappy she stopped crying. It's so hard to know!!!
So this morning thought might be better to try when i was calm and rested, after 3 wakes last night, quick feed always settles straight away. Anyway, i went to 2hrs- and felt like the worst mum in the world. Eventually just boob fed her straight to sleep. Was she hungry? She doesn't eat much food- nothing off a spoon, only fruit and veg sometimes a little meat that she can feed herself. Is she getting too much boob, so doesn't need food? I've heard bubs sleep better when they start eating, but she just won't!
If all is well, not teething, etc, how long does controlled crying take to work? Should there be a time limit? She gets all worked up, red and super sweaty- is this normal?
Think i will try a different tact now- 1 mum told me she fed then held and comforted bubs through the crying until calm before putting in her cot.
Does CC always work?

[1+1=5]

No, CC doesn't work for all kids. Apparently the stats say that it 'works' for about 75% of babies over 6 months of age. It sounds like you responded beautifully to your baby. As her mum, you will know when she is too overwhelmed for CC, don't feel bad if it doesn't work with her. Neither of my boys would have a bar of CC, they would be hysterical if I left them for longer than a few minutes so we co-slept which has worked really well for us.

I hope you can find something that works well for you and your family. Just keep in mind, this sleepless business will eventually pass :hugs::hugs:

[Nuckysmum]

My son was a great sleeper until about 4 months, from 4 to 6 months he woke every hour! I tried control crying, going in at intervals but I found this used to make him get even more worked up.
By this stage I had enough and saw a 'sleep doctor'. I was advised to feed him starchy foods, eg make sure he had rice, potato or pasta in his lunch and dinner. I was also told to take his sheets and blankets off his bed and put him into a sleeping bag. I had to then put him to bed at 6.30 and not go in again until 6.30 the next morning. (I was allowed to check in on him when I knew he was asleep).
The first night he cried for about an hour, then slept for 3, then woke and cried for 20 mins then slept till 6 the next morning.
The next night he cried for 20 mins, and by the third night he slept through.
Now he sleeps 12-13 hours straight most nights.
This was a really hard thing to do, but it worked and I think by the stage we were at, I was willing to try anything.

Good luck, I hope you find something that works for you and your family.

PS I have also heard that the book 'Save our Sleep' is really good.

[Sheer Bliss]

:hugs: As PP have said, it doesn't work for all babies, and screaming continuously is not going to do anyone any good. DS2 has cried himself to sleep before (I wasn't trying CC, but had a 2yo who had opened his pooey nappy and covered himself and the sheets that I had to clean...). I wasn't overly concerned as he was grizzling, not screaming his little heart out - there is definately a difference. If you went to your DD because she was truly upset and needed you - that is a good thing, don't feel you failed.

Try again when teething pain isn't an issue, you might have more success then.

[portmama]

I tried something different on advice from someone to cuddle and rock until asleep to get off the boob- and it's working!! first night took ages to get to sleep, and all the next day too. But has been getting shorter and shorter, and last night she slept through!! :smiliedance:(even better- so did I !!)
So my plan is to slowly start putting her into her cot earlier and earlier in the cuddling pocess, when she is more awake, but calm.
:hugs:Thanks for your help everyone!!!!:hugs: