stress

[mum2littleman]

hey guys, any Single Mums out there that at times just find everything a little to much? what do u do when ur child makes u stress?? how do u deal with it?

[ashleerose]

I have good days and bad days.

With my kids both being close in age (g5 and b4) it gets stressful at times.

My daughter is quite content to sit and watch tv all day if i let her whereas my son constantly has to be doing something.

This weekend has probably been one of the first unstressful weekends that i have had the both of them played together and didnt fight as much as they usually do.

So i continued to praise them for being good and rewarded them.
I am focusing on paying attention to them when they are being good and not so when they are bad and i think its working.

Time out is the best thing you can do for yourself.

My daughter is in school and my son goes to preschool and i work (casual partime) so by having time out without them i am actually a better parent then i would be if i was stuck with them 24/7.

[mum2littleman]

I have good days and bad days.

With my kids both being close in age (g5 and b4) it gets stressful at times.

My daughter is quite content to sit and watch tv all day if i let her whereas my son constantly has to be doing something.

This weekend has probably been one of the first unstressful weekends that i have had the both of them played together and didnt fight as much as they usually do.

So i continued to praise them for being good and rewarded them.
I am focusing on paying attention to them when they are being good and not so when they are bad and i think its working.

Time out is the best thing you can do for yourself.

My daughter is in school and my son goes to preschool and i work (casual partime) so by having time out without them i am actually a better parent then i would be if i was stuck with them 24/7.



thanks for the advice, i think thats whats wrong with me i am stuck with ds 24-7 in 9 months i have had 2 nights aways an they were only for 2 hrs each maybe when his alittle older and at school i wont feel like his driving me crazy however thats still yrs away:crying:

[ashleerose]

Perhaps you could put him into preschool (its called preschool here in nsw dont think its called the same in qld?) for one day a week.

Afterall if its only you and your his maincarer you need to take time out and believe it or not your child will benefit from it as much as you will.

Pick a day of the week that you would like to have to yourself ie pay day and book him in for that day then you can go shopping whatever and enjoy your time out. It will of course be hard at first it practically killed me when i sent my daughter for the first time but she is now the social butterfly unlike my son who i kept at home with me longer than i should have and now he is behind and will have to stay in preschool for another year before going to kindy.

good luck.

[Chanelc]

Yes there are moments due to lack of sleep I am tested I just breathe slowly and remember our babies are innocent and feed off our emotions. So we need to try and stay calm to calm them down - hard work when sometimes the day can throw obstacles that seem to make it hard to cope.
Maybe try mediating when the little ones are asleep - I find it helps me stay balanced

[Femme-Fetale]

HI mum2littleman
I find the stress building within me pretty often. I have a demanding child, more then normal. (will be getting some tests done on him when he is a little older)

I suggest putting DS into a daycare or family care centre, which ever suits you, once a week, even if just for a half day.

I found that when i was stressing it would effect DS more and it would then just turn into one big vicious circle and getting us no where. Once i put DS into care once a week, things got heaps better and we became more relaxed and happy.
He needed that break and so did i. I generally just sleep the day away when he goes, recharge my batteries and maybe do some of the cleaning and/or shopping i cant do with him around, or as easily.

Mummies need breaks too, spesh solo mummies. Its a 24/7 job and no one else does these kinda hours. Remember to take time for yourself. Happy mummy means happy baby, and once ur stress levels are down, so will DS's.

I also use alot of vent time online :o It really helps talking to other solo mummies and venting about anything, becoz they really DO understand.

[mum2littleman]

i have thought about putting DS in childcare for one day but he is a real mummies boy and i dont no how he would go and i really dont no how i would go i would probly spend the time crying and watching the clock for when i could pick him up..
i have tihngs going through my head like what if DS works him self up so much and they just let him go or he wants to be picked up{he always wants to be up} and they dont i no i need me time but maybe childcare is not for me i hate leaving him with people i dont no, however there is another mum on her eim friends with that works in a center down the road from me she would not be in the room with him but her little girl is the same age so she would be aww i dont no so confussed but i no i need ot do sumthing i cant have my self getting to the point where i just want to scream..

[meme]

hi , i am not a singel single mum now, but i was for along time with bub1 and now i am witha dp who works away, so i spend plenty of time mumming on my own.

do you have any single mum friends? i really loved my single mum friends while i was. we all knew what it was like and i could ring them whenever- and i mean whenever, ( i often won't ring my partnered friends coz they have their dp at home or doing family things iykwim). we spent a lot of time in and out of each others homes aswell. it let us have social contact to sstop us going gaga and let our kids play.
i remember whatching tv and being on the phone to them watching the same thing just for company..:p
we often went on walks together with the prams.
i love getting out for a walk with the pram when it gets too much, especially somewhere i can get a bit of breeze in my head. the river, the beach, a nice park, or just around the block and to the shop and back.

i also will ask my family if i get to the end of my tether if they can help,i am lucky they are close.

having a hot shower is my favourite time out. i used to put bubs in the baby chair or highchair and sit her in the bathroom just so i could shower...

also love mums groups for a bit of stress releif. i find it helps talking to other mums. i think the Australian breastfeeding groups are great because they have such a diverse range of mums go to them usually.

good luck with it.:)

[Deity]

If you are not ready for something during your parenting the likelyhood is that your child is not. Your instincts weren't bought or chosen they are natural and your way of telling you what is best for your child/ren. Don't get hard on yourself if you don't think your son is ready for child care, I personally don't like the idea at all; I believe a mother's role is with her child but I know it is not feasible in everyone's situation and I am certainly not in a position to judge anyone.

I am a single mum, with no child support, university classes I have to do from home and my parents living overseas so I truely understand the cry for some time but hang in there. There is some great advice on this forum if you feel a little burnt out. :hugs:

[tyler's mum]

everything makes me stress but being a single mum can be hard,, im goin to put tyler in day care 1day a week when she is 2, give's me 1 more year to work myself up to it:p

i have a great support team with my mum/dad and my sister so when ever i really get stress i have them to help me out like today i when for a nap for a hour when mum and dad come over...

i have only been out 3 times since bub was born she is 1 in 2weeks:eek: its so hard to be away from her and i miss her so much when she is'nt with me, but i know that we need time apart

do you have much help at home???

[mum2littleman]

well i live with my parents so u think i would but no i really dont they pick him up for a hug every now and then but thats it even when i have just had enough and need 5 mins to myself its like they just stand there an watch DS has brought me to tears meany times as i just need that even 2 mins aday me time and i still dont get any help they are great dont get me wrong and they do love DS but they believe he his my son and i should look after him i just wish they new alittle help everynow and then would be good ive asked them before for help a few times and im giving the same answer all the time" if u lived on ur own we wouldnt be here to help so how would u do it then" :confused: not like im asking for much off them..but they do help me in other ways buying nappies every now and then or formula..

[Mum2Bug]

I think being a single parent is one of the most stressful things a person can go through. Especially if they don't have a helpful support system. Which is something I dont have either. I can relate to feeling stressed about being around DD 24/7 especially the past 9 weeks whilst ive been extremely sick. The only person who offered to help me in that time was my extremely pregnant neighbour. Not even my family offered.

Everyone says how important it is for you to have 'me' time but dont you just hate it when they never actually offer to help you get some. And Im another parent who can't bear to put my child into childcare incase it just leaves them more unsettled and feeling abandoned.

Sorry for rambling! I just wanted to give you :hugs: and let you know that there are many of us out there who know what you are going through and sympathise!

[tyler's mum]

that must be hard living with your parents and still getting no help,,, i get alot of help from my family i live on my own with bub [well my sister is in granny flat but works nites] i still find it very hard and stressful with help, i couldnt image having to do it all on my own,,, you must be a very strong woman:hugs: :kiss: