Help 2 year old and a Newborn

[melbryan]

I just don't know what to do?
Since I have come home from hospital my 2yearold has squealed, and won't sleep at night until 10.30pm ( his bedtime is 8pm) and when I leave him in his room to go to sleep he screams and squeals for about 2 hrs. How do I stop this behaviour?, when told no or when I take something off him he squeals for attention. I have tried to include him but he is driving me insane. I don't want to lose my milk from no sleep and stress. Please help.
He makes himslef vomit for attention and trashes his room and empties his nappy bin when he should be going to sleep. He was naked last night and had wiped his nappy on the walls.
I bath him feed him and play with him and it still isn't enough. I have had a CS so I can't lift him either.:banghead:

[javalava]

Oh babe i really feel for you :hugs:

It looks like he hasnt take so well to having bubs come home. He will get use to it in time, and he is also at a really hard stage... There has to be some ways of stopping this behaviour. Have you talked to a professional about it? A child care nurse or trisillian??

[meme]

ah, sounds like a lot to deal with a c/s, new bubs and a toddler. the first few weeks can be such an adjustment for everyone in the family i reckon. it does get easier.

is your partner able to help out somehow? or other family. it sounds like your toddler could benefit from lot's of attention right now. maybe it doesn't all have to come from you though.

can someone lie with your toddler for a little while while he goes to sleep? perhaps he just needs some extra reassurance at this point in his life, and it won't be like this forever, it could just be a temporary way to get him going to sleep earlier and keeping his nappy on, until he adjusts to being a big brother.

you won't lose your milk from no sleep and stress, but feeding is challenging with a toddler, preparing with special toys that only come out at feed time, or a drink and snack for your toddler while you feed can help.

i hope it settles down quickly for you.

[Diddles]

I can emphathise with you, I have a nearly 2 year old and an 8 week old. We had big dramas with our 2 year old night waking - he would be up talking, screaming etc for over 2 hours. It has got much better in the last 2 weeks but it took a bit of getting up and disciplining him in the night to sort it out. I guess they are so used to being no.1 and having all our attention that they try and get it any way they can. All I can say that it will get better - they soon realise you still love them as much as ever.

[babylover111]

I wish i lived closer to you so i could help with entertaining your toddler while you did your necessary newborn tasks!

[~Emmylou~]

Oh god sweetie you poor poor thing! :hugs:
I don't have any advice because I've not had to deal with this yet, but what you're describing is totally my worst fear for when our new baby arrives :(
I agree it doesn't sound like he's adjusting well but I guess you already know that.
I think extra reassurance might be the way to go so he knows he's still special. I'm trying to warm DH to the idea of letting Emily sleep in our room sometimes because I really don't think she'll cope with me, DH and Toby sharing our room and her being out in the cold.....he's not fussed though, hope he changes his mind when he hasn't slept in a week.
It's so hard, I hope things get better soon. :hugs:

[melbryan]

I have tried lots of cuddles and I love you's. Last night DH slept next to him for an hour and he finally went to sleep at 10 pm. We will keep doing this.
I cried last night as it got too much he just wouldn't listen. I will spend some special time with him today take him to maccas or something.
Thanks for all your advice, I am still learning and at times it seems so hard but I do love my little boy and my new one. My newborn is so good and sleeps alot it is hard not to like him better.
In the end I know my son is a typical two year old and he won't be like this forever.

[bossoflatch]

i can sympathise with you and just to say - it really does get better.

When we came home with the new one some time ago, we had the eldest who was 12 months - he handle it pretty good considering. But he would have his moments. There were a few unbearable weeks were he would test us.

We found that giving him simple jobs that he could understand maybe to go get baby a toy. (even thought bubs couldn't play with it - ds thought that he was helping so it was great)

ask him to get a nappy and fold it for you - as they don't know how to fold it a) it takes them ages and b) they seem to enjoy learning to help with nappies

simple things that even though they couldn't do it - you would find they love and bacause you are getting them active they will be exhausted by the end of they day.

We also got the eldest ds a dvd, tape player - a present from bubs - and about three different dvd books, so when he was about to take a nap or go to bed - he coud listen to it and encourage him to take a rest, not so much a sleep because that is were we found he would fight us and if he was just going for a rest to listen - he would almost always go for a nap or sleep at bed time. i don't know how you would go, may be you are trying these things but they really did help with keeping with the peace at such a trying time for me anyway.

goodluck with it all

[middlecm]

I have only 17 months between my 2 sons. When I came home from hospital with no2 I was certain that someone had 'swapped' my eldest for some 'devil child' while i was delivering.

No 1 went from quiet, placid and laid back to a child that I just didnt recognise - tantrums, hitting, sleep problems. This all lasted for about 4 weeks than things got back to normal. So eventually things got better.

Good luck
Christine

[proudmummyof2]

I totally sympathise with you. My son was 23 months when my daughter was born - he is now 26 months and she is 14 weeks.

When I got home, my son was not impressed with me at all, and although he had known a baby was coming, it hit him for six a bit.

You are going to think I am insane, but I had been planning a surprise birthday party for my husband, even though baby was due the weekend before. Lucky for me, DD's timing was perfect, and the party happened two days after we got home from hospital.

There were a few kids at the party, and all the adults made a huge fuss of my son. The next day, he woke up a different child, with a new, totally positive attitude towards his little sister.

This might sound crazy to you, but my only advice is, perhaps have a few people over to your house, especially a couple of other kids, and make sure the other adults there make a huge fuss of your son. All the hugs in the world from me and his daddy made no difference, but attention from other people did. It's like he suddenly realised that he is still special despite the fact that he is no longer an only child.

Just make sure you enlist some little helpers so you aren't overwhelmed! I had three, and I couldn't have done it otherwise! :rolleyes: