Seperation Anxiety

[flower]

Hi Girls.....
Can someone explain this to me as far as when/ what to do's....mine does it sometimes and it drives me nuts!
When does it become full-on and what do you do about it?
Thanks,
O's mom.

[mumof2girls]

Seperation anxiety can come on at any age, depending on the age of the child and how often you leave them can depend on how upset they will get (but not always!), some children are fearful when they can't see their parents, even older children. Some things to do when you leave them is to make sure you say goodbye so they know you have left, nothing worse than sneaking off and then they discover that you have gone and you never said goodbye (very upsetting). Also reassure them that you (or whoever) will be back to pick them up later on, another suggestion (works well with babes) is leaving them something that has yours or your partners smell on it that they can keep nearby that can help them to settle as well. Another important fact is be comfortable leaving them as they will feel vibes from you and if your not comfortable leaving them they will feel it and feel uncomfortable as well. Good luck and I hope some of these help :)

[TMJM]

Hi,
my son is 6 1/2 mths and is already going through seperation anxiety. Every time I leave the room he starts screaming untill I return. He is also going through the stage where he always wants to be held.
Somtimes is drives me crazy and other times I think it is so cute that he misses me when I go out of the room!

[melzy]

Hi there. I know what you are saying. My daughter went through this at about 1 and again at 2yrs. It is best to say goodbye and mummy will be back soon. It gives them reassurance and each time you get home they will understand, well, as they get older.

I used to get frustrated with my daughter because she was always there, even chucking tantrums if I would leave to go to the toilet. I had no choice, she would come with me. to the toilet, to the shower, wherever, whenever. I started to get angry because I felt like I was losing the little space I had and in the end I just had to accept it. As she got older she outgrew it. TJ is getting better with age although sometimes I still think the cord is attached.

[Emily's moocow]

TMJM I know how you feel. We have resorted to calling our DD Miss Velcro because if she isnt stuck to me or near me then she is screaming. Please help us!

Teresa :eek:

[mimi]

Hi kevinbudgie

Ditto previous advice here. Just like to add that it appears that the more time you spend with your babies/kids while they are little i.e up to 4-5yrs, the more secure they feel in the long run, therefore limiting the separation anxiety of the older child. The better they are 'attached' to you, and the safer they feel as infants, then the easier they separate from you as they get older. This is actually opposite to what you will hear alot of 'helpful' older relatives telling you, of course ...Prime examples -
"Spend more time away from her to get her used to it"
"Don't keep picking her up/coddling her/comforting her. It will only make her worse"...You get the idea!!

I think the classic age for this to start is SUPPOSED to be 6-8 months - but it can happen as young as 4 months [or maybe even earlier??] and as others have said, reappears at many stages throughout their young life... and can be sooooo frustrating sometimes!! The only thing I can say is, try to handle it as gently and calmly as possible ... and remember that only too soon they will be all 'grown up' and won't want a bar of mum!!! so as annoying as it is now, this time will end, and you WILL get your life back!! good luck!
:)

[Graeme]

Hi
Jasmine didn't like us leaving her and even when she turned three she would scream sometimes when we left her with people very close to her. We always told her when we were leaving, made sure we said goodbye, and reassured her we would be back. It did work in the long run.

We were dreading the start of preschool thinking that she would be terrible when we left her with strangers for the first time. We familiarised her with the preschool a few times but were not looking forward to the day we left her on her first day. All our fears were unfounded as she was fine, no tears or distress. She now copes fine with us going.

It was really hard when she was little, even though we knew her crying would normally only last a minute or two, so it was really nice to discover that in the long run she was fine.

All the best
Graeme