Wanting some general advice on surrogacy

[lifes4living]

Hi everyone,
Im new to bub hub and am after some general advice on surrogacy from those who have gone through it (particularly any victorian)
I'm 22 and have known since i was young that i cant have children myself due to a heart condition, and that adoption or surrogacy are my only real options for being able to become a mum. Although im not quite ready to be a mum yet i'm just wanting to learn as much as i can.

:confused:So i was wondering where do you start with the entire process of surrogacy as there is little information around? Is there a cut off age for the surrogate?
And, also how do you find people react when you tell them someone else is going to have your baby for you (in particular mother-in-laws)?

Would really appreciate anyones advice and stories:wave:

[pandorakratos]

Hello - I am 27 and also cannot have children due to heart disease. I haven't really looked into surrogacy much as I am from QLD where surrogacy was illegal until recently. Since adoption also takes years I have unsuccessfully denied that I want to have children which I don't advise unless you want to be even more crazy :shame:

What I would suggest is to start investigating every avenue possible ASAP - even if you don't want any children just yet, because these processes seem to take a long time and you don't want to be under time pressure.

I have had some very useful discussions with a high risk ob/ gyn - they will be able to advise you for sure of whether or not you would be at high risk of cardiac complications in pregnancy (my risk is almost 100% because I am already in heart failure, have atrial fib and severe ventricular dysfunction).

Although I am unaware of your condition - there could be a chance that you might be well enough to have your own child if followed by a high risk team that specialises in maternal heart disease. If not, they would be able to provide documentation that you can't carry a child for medical reasons and might also be able to advise you on surrogacy. I am hoping to go for a second visit soon to discuss surrogacy now that it is legal in QLD :yelclap:

I am not sure where this will lead but my high risk ob/gyn is the only place where I have been taken seriously and given useful information (apart from here of course :)).

I also recommend the website www.achaheart.org (http://www.achaheart.org) - it is the American Congenital Heart Association website. There are some women on the forums who have children via surrogacy because they have single ventricle physiology or some other form of complex heart disease.

If there is anyone else in Australia that has children via a surrogacy arrangement because they have heart disease I would like to hear about it too.

[bfkel]

If you want to use your own embryos then start getting appointments at IVF clinics. Don't just ring them and ask them what they know about surrogacy, sometimes they'll put you off. Ask them if you need anything from your heart doctor saying pregnancy is impossible.

Get in there and speak to the doctor. Because the laws are either new or non existent, some doctors are ok with the egg pick up, the creation of the ice babies but have no procedures of what to do with a surrogate transfer. They can do it physically of course but they need bits of paper to cover their butts.

Matching services are illegal in Aust so you need to find your own surro.

Start putting the word out among friends and family that you're going to need a 'carrier' or 'oven'. You don't have to ask them out right, but ask for their thoughts and tell them to discuss it within their networks. A friend of a friend of a friend is still someone who might think about it. ( That's how I met mine. )

Oh and of course, start saving your money. IVF is costly - so are kids themselves LOL

[bfkel]

Oh and when it comes to the telling stories I made it huge! :laughing:

I went to bubs parents wedding when we were 6 month preg. The groom introduced his new wife and me to all his friends as "this is the love of my life and this is the one carrying our child".

Oh the jaw dropping! :laughing:

The census came around not long after Lachlan was born. I had problems with the children questions. I wanted these questions

How many have you birthed? 3
How many live at this address? 1 (one moved into own house, two now with their dad, one with his mum and dad)
How many eat dinner here more than 4 times a week? 4 - alll at different times

No my house is never quiet (or tidy LOL)

[wlee9462]

Hi Lifes4living,

You are very mature to start enquiring about this ahead of time ... it's very impressive:yelclap:

I agree ... surrogacy in Australia is at it's infant stage still .. and there appears to be many hoops that we have to jump through in order to get it underway.

VARTA is the Victorian Assisted Reporductive Technologies Authority; they have a website www.varta.org.au; this could help you a little.

I must admit .. I found it a little confusing and long-winded. There is a seminar coming up titled "Surrogacy in Victoria - Issues to Consider" on Wed the 8th of September.

I've just registered myself. I had cancer which resulted in a hysterectomy ... so can't carry my own babies. I am looking into lots of different options. we are NOT quite ready yet for surrogacy to start ... but I am researching bigtime! I want to hit the ground running when the time comes :laughing

you can send me a private msg if you want to come along to the meeting. It would be good to meet someone in similar situation.

Good luck.:smiliedance:

[lifes4living]

Although I am unaware of your condition - there could be a chance that you might be well enough to have your own child if followed by a high risk team that specialises in maternal heart disease. If not, they would be able to provide documentation that you can't carry a child for medical reasons and might also be able to advise you on surrogacy. I am hoping to go for a second visit soon to discuss surrogacy now that it is legal in QLD.

My heart condition has resulted in my heart working a singular pump and i am on blood thinners which increase my risk of bleeding significantly, to add to all this i also have extremely low oxygen levels.

However despite all this i consider myself to be lucky, i have know from the beginning that having children naturally wouldn't be very likely and has given me the head start on research unlike the many couple who find out when they decide to start their family. My partner is also very understanding, he has known all this from the outset and is very supportive. He feels he would prefer to have a child via surrogacy rather than adoption, purely based on knowing the childs genetics and where it came from is important to him.

Thanks for all the info, has given me a fair bit to think about!!!:yelclap: