very scared about up and coming posting

[squish09]

Hey defence partner mums! so my partner is in the air force and we have a 5 month old :) all well and good he was in the raaf when we met so i new what i was in for however he is due for posting at the end of the year :( I was fine about it until we had bub now i am scared! i have never lived anywhere else but my hometown so i will be leaving all my lifelong friends and all my family and taking my baby away from them all. I no we dont have a choice but how have you all coped being moved around and not knowing anyone and how have your children coped with the moved and what about the relationship between my family and son he will not no them if we move away. Very Scared!

[KJEmum]

Don't be scared because that's what will bring you down. Lift your chin up and smile, get online and check out everything in your new locality. Don't see the downside of things, look for the positives. You have a child now so you need to be strong and confident. However this is something that might come in time.

When we had our first move (after 5yrs together in one house), we moved from Sydney to Cairns. BIG move for me as like you I had my friends I've known for years, my besty (although she was due to fly to the USA the following day to be with her online bf). I left my dad, mum had moved to the UK and my brother moved to Wales. So moving to Cairns with no car and DH away (even as we were in temp accommodation) was rather dismal. I had no friends when we moved into our house and would walk to the IGA down the road from us and the owner would whinge and I would whinge about my stuff. Mind you he had some spunky young 20 something yo sons so that was an incentive for a perve lol. Anyways yeh at the time she was my outlet. As I gained the friendship of my neighbours things improved a little. My son was in pre-primary and my daughter in daycare 1 day a week. I had one day to myself so that was good for me. The last year we were there we bought a car and lift got even better. What sticks in my mind is what my neighbour friend Leanne told me (who i'm still in contact with).. to be positive upon moving and just get out there and make friends. When our move back to Sydney came 3yrs on, I was positive and got out there. Yes it's easier with school kids (sometimes) but having a baby is just as easy, go to a playgroup or even just pushing bub up to the shops can get some ppl going gaga so you can get a conversation started.
So yeh that second move was much better, I was a more positive person and you know that reflects on your children too. They end up being positive.

Re family and their connection with your child .. Skype .. webcam and a microphone plus the internet. We have never lived near family after we moved the first time .. and it all depends on what efforts they are going to put into it. My kids get on better with my MIL because she makes the effort .. where as my own mum doesn't.
We have facebook too .. MIL gets to see all the photos and know what's going on in our lives. My kids (13yo, 11yo & 3yo) get on msn and chat with their grandma too.

I've been with my husband 17yrs now and back then I couldn't email him. Contact would be by phone when he got to a port and pretty much when he's drunk. Not a good thing for a mum stuck at home.

Anyways in conclusion to my essay .. be strong, be confident and make the most out of where you are. Look for the bright sides. Join a mothers group or playgroup .. give it time to get to know ppl. Get on facebook and find others in the area.
Friendship has come so far compared to when I first moved away .. there was no facebook ..yes msn but I didn't know of the Defence community .. but our next move .. yep was involved with groups and so on. It's has improved since. There is a world of information on the net so use it.

You'll be fine and you have mates on the internet to vent to and forums like this to get on and 'vent'. I didn't have that in Dec 1999 when in Cairns. We are VERY lucky now.
/end essay

[squish09]

Thank you! i will try and join some groups...its a bit overwhelming joining groups when they will already no each other and that but i will try go into it all with a positive attitude! Yes the world of internet will help alot! i have skype and i no my mum will want to use it! i am very close with my mum so that will be hard. hehe the essay was very helpful i really appreciate it! hearing it from someone who as been through it makes it bit easier. my mil is also a raaf wife and she is a bit 'strange' lol from always moving and not having friends i dont want to end up like her. She doesnt have very good social skills i would say from always being alone. Hopefully all will workout!

[pennylane]

Where's he posting? If he comes to RAAF Pearce in WA you can hang out with me :)

Were on our second posting and I know how hard it is,I had to leave my hometown too and I only see my family maybe once a year if Im lucky.It sucks but you just get on with things.

You'll be okay :)

[squish09]

We dont no where yet just that he will be! we were suppose to be the end of last year but i was due at xmas so we put in 2 stay so i was with my family for the birth etc but the end of this year we will have to :( he has william town as 1st preference and richmond as 2nd they are my prefrences because i have family in sydney and william town is the closest to home and still pretty close to sydney so hopefully we get one of them. eek....

[pennylane]

oh well good luck I hope you get where you want. :)

Williamtown is closest to my hometown and all my friends and most of my family (my mum and dad and 2 of my brothers moved to QLD when I moved away but my other siblings are in Port Macquarie) But we cant go to Williamtown because alot of guys from hubbys old course at Wagga Wagga are there and we had a harrassment case against them (LONG story!! short story is they ruined our wedding day by bringing people that stole stuff from our reception and upset our relatives and guests and I had something to say about it and then we got dragged into a criminal investigation against one of them and got made to give evidence and it went from there..) so we wouldnt feel comfortable going there.Which sucks because I could see my family and friends more but oh well,thats the life of a RAAF spouse for you! :)