To use or not to use....

[holly]

I really need some advice on this one.

DD is now 9 weeks old and never been given a dummy. But she's not the type of bub that I can take anywhere without her crying, even if it is straight after a feed. I went to a cafe for the first time today and it was awful, she had been fed and rested and still could not sit there and be content, i had to stand and jiggle her and even then it was touch and go. Mothers Group is the same if she's not sleeping or feeding she seems to be crying, and no she doesn't have wind or reflux etc. Even in the pram which she loves, if I stop walking or go into a shop she knows and starts up again.

Sooo... my question is, if I introduced a dummy, could I use it on the occaisions I need to or will she crave it all the time? She is a good night sleeper and doing much better in the day so can I skip using it for her sleeps?

Help, I need my social life back - well an hour here or there at least!

[almond eyes]

I know exactly what you mean. I could have very well written the same post when my son was about that age (he is now 13 months) until about 6 months. He would cry whenever we'd be walking and I'd stop the pram, even for a quick chat with someone. He liked the movement so much...and he knows when you're just moving it to and fro. He wants to go forward!

Anyway, all I can say is your DD will get used to it. Make sure you make a habit of taking her out 3-4 tmes a week so she gets used to the pram, people and being in a different place. Sometimes I think they get disconcerted when in a different environment. You can always try the dummy but that didn't work for me. DS just spat it out and that was fine. He does love smelling his burp towels and that keeps him calm. If your DD has a favorite toy, blanket or cloth, let her hold on to it while you take your walks and hopefully, she is comforted by it.

Good luck and take care.

[Milliner]

We never gave DS a dummy until he was about 6 weeks old and he has never really taken it! DS was the same as your bub couldn't take him anywhere until we started concentrating on his sleep more getting into the Feed/play/sleep routine properly. He is better now but still has his days!!

[Kells]

My kids dummies were a godsend! My best friends, actually!! :laughing:

Certainly helped me with settling them down. I honestly think I would have gone insane without them. Within minutes of them having them they were settled.

I know they are the 'wrong' thing, but if it works, bubs is resting and comforted, and you're sane, does it matter???

Do what works for you and your baby. :yes:

[arthursmum]

little fella didn't have dummy until about 6.5 months. just has it on the odd occasion when i want him to shut up, no just kidding, just when he seems to want the comfort of having something in his mouth to suck or to chew and play with. hasn't made a difference to his sleeping patterns & he's not an addict, either.

[~EmsMum~]

I never planned on using a dummy, but I now do with my DD and it has been an absoulte life saver

[Karizma]

I used dummies with both of my kids and they are a god sent :smiliedance:

[Spewiesmum]

Not a fan of the dummy and DS hated it anyway. We used DS bunny (comforter) and he'd chew on that. He whinges a bit now and then but it's generally because he doesn't want to be seated. He just wants to stand:banghead:

[mum23girls]

dummy's :smiliedance: :smiliedance:

[Bub2luv]

The only way to know for sure if the dummy will work for you is to give it a try.

My DD has a dummy but she only uses it on occassions when she has trouble settling or is upset.

The dummy has worked wonders on occassions turning my :crying: to :o within a few minutes.

[shed]

I had no set opinion on a dummy. Before bubby was born I bought a couple just in case he was a comfort sucker.

He was fussing alot yesterday but whenever I put him on the boob he would suck a few times and then drop off to sleep.

He didn't have wind or anything so I went and found the dummy and DP shoved it in his gob and he started sucking it straight away and was quite contented.

In the old days I think people used to think dummies were "bad" but now most mothers just want what their baby wants. Some babies want a dummy and some don't.

[SassyMummy]

I use a dummy for DD - she's just over 1.

I can understand your problem...your baby is constantly sulking in public and you want to see if a dummy might prevent that. I imagine that you probably want her to stop whinging to prevent embarrassment...I know I did.

I think it's important to also think of the after affects of using a dummy for comfort though...while it might make her happy now...what about when she's "too old" for a dummy and you have to try and wean her?

In my experience, baby cries and toddler tantrums are completely different - people expect babies to cry, but if your toddler acts up, then you're judged as a bad parent who can't control your kid.

I'm at the end now where I want to get DD off of the dummy for good. She doesn't even use it for comfort any more...she just wants it all day long...for no good reason. I think, if I could have put up with some of those public cry-sessions when she was younger, I wouldn't have to deal with her tantrums when I try to take it off of her.

Just consider that!:thumbsup:

[zenifa]

Before I had DD I was anti-dummy (yes naive young woman I was then), and when I had my hosp pre-admission clinic visit, they asked me to sign paperwork saying if I wanted the midwives to give DD a dummy/formula if she was in the nursery.......at the time I'm thinking...... I don't know, ask me when she's born....besides I plan to breastfeed and have her room with me.

Anyway, a few weeks later I had DD, did breastfeed, but did a complete turnaround on the dummy issue....and now nearly 12mths later still use the dummy. In the early months, it was useful for getting her to sleep at night (or even the day sometimes) and was essential when we were out, as it was a quick fix for grizzles, and she seemed so soothed by it. Now she only has it at night at bedtime, and luckily she doesn't wake when it falls out/she pokes it out. I am planning to wean her off it soon, but in those first 6 mths, they are very useful!!

[Leez]

I never had any strong opinions on dummies and I give them to DD. Sometimes she right into it and its just the thing to settle her down or send her to sleep:thumbsup: , other times she spits it out and other times it just falls out of her mouth. She's certainly not addicted to it and I just find its one of a whole range of tools I use in getting DD through the day on an even keel!!

I recommend giving it a go, you may be pleased that you did.

[neeky]

after being told by soooo many people that dummies where the most evil things (LOL) i was very unsure, but while still at the hospital my son was a lot like you described. he hated it if i stoped moving right up until about 6mths, although it did get better around 3mths. the nurse actually told me id need a dummy for him coz he was a sucker!

anyway, i used to give it to him when we went out and if absolutely nothing else would work! he used it a bit, and it kept him quiet (which was all that mattered to me)
and he took himself off it after a few months, he just got over it, and started sucking his thumb and finger instead, which was ok with me coz at least he cant spit them out onto the floor.

the only way you will know if its going to work is if you try it.

and if you have any problems with people saying how EVIL they are, just tell em to shove it. in the end i just started telling people that it was the only way for me to keep from having rude people telling me how to look after my child coz if i take it out he screams for no reason! they almost always go the hint that they were being one of those "rude" people lol:laughing:

[jessgray]

my ds needed to have a dummy as a newborn to help teach him how to suck and to strengthen his sucking. his sucking wasnt as strong as it should be till he was about 3 months old. :) so it did help him.
but i had to put up with people saying things like "why does he have a dummy he isnt crying he doesnt need it"and when i explained what the dr's had said to me and dp the people would just roll their eyes and be like pfft what do dr's know :(
i still get comments now about ds having a dummy. he is 15 months and mostly uses it as a comforter when he sleeps.but people still feel the need to comment on how "babies dont need dummies" lol
it annoys me coz some parents and babies do need dummies for their sanity and sleep or for other reasons like we did.

[hayleylea]

I always said i wasnt going to use a dummy but that sure changed when DS was born. The reason why i chose to have one is because he just wanted to constantly feed...well not really feed but it was a way to comfort him so i gave him a dummy and it worked wonders. It was great if we went out shopping etc. He isnt a big dummy boy, he will have it for bed but spit it out once asleep and not want it till his next morning sleep but i think they are great. They dont work for everyone but you can try it and see how you go. DS doesnt want it all the time at all. He never wants it if he is playing etc.

Goodluck.

[~Mands~]

My bub was premature so we were told to introduce the dummy to help him develop a good sucking reflex and it helped a lot :thumbsup:
We still use one when he needs the comfort (like when going off to sleep), and we were also told we could try and get him to suck when he is a little uncomfortable with wind, and it works wonders!

I say if it helps to comfort them, go ahead! You can always wean them off when they are a little older.

[misskittyfantastico]

I love, love, loooovvvve dummies.