How can I convince my husband???

[mumsluv]

We have a 2 year old DS and I am desperate to have another. After ectopic preganancy earlier this year, my DH was initially keen to go again. However, in the last 5 months has done a complete turn around and refuses to contemplate another, for emotional and finanical reasons which I just can't relate to. My lifelong dream has been to have a fmaily and I feel so let down and disappointed by him. No matter how much I try to explain this, he refuses to budge. Feel so sad and desperate. Anyone in the same boat or have any suggestions? Don;t know which way to go next.

Me - 32
Him- 32
DS - 2

[*Sparkles*]

Really sorry to hear of your situation :hugs:
The only thing I can suggest is to see if DH will go to a counscellor with you? It sounds like you have tried to discuss it with him already to no avail. Maybe a professional point of view might help? It's very hard to convince someone who has already made their mind up.
Good luck, I hope he comes round soon :fingerscrossed:

[trina73]

Hi,
i was in your situation as well, we have a son that is nearly 3 and he has suspected autism which is a delay in his development (speech and communication)we are waiting on his assesment and have been on the waiting list for 14 months now:banghead: i had wanted to get pregnant for a while now but dp wanted to wait for 2 more years until everything settles down with jordan.but we have early menapause in our family , my nan was35 and my mum 34. when they went through theirs and i'm almost 33 so i wasn't going to wait no longer so i did what i had to do. i went off the pill without telling him:shame: i felt bad about hiding it . he found out 3 weeks later.he was not happy:no: but he's ok about it now:thumbsup: and he's excited about being a dad again.while we are trying we are going with the flow so if it happens it happens.hang in there they always change their minds.good luck

[mumsluv]

Thanks Girls

It is, somehow, conforting, to know that my husband is not the only one with reservations. We talked about it again yesterday and he is still adamant. He says maybe in 12 months time he'll feel differently but I just feel like that is a way to pacify me for now and then in a year's time, nothing will have changed. The time pressure feels enormous as I had one tube removed after the ectopic pregnancy and was found to have some endometriosis. The doctor told me not to wait to try again in case there are problems. I know 32 is not that old but what if I wait too long and then it doesn't work if/when DH is finally 'ready'?

The biological and emotional drive to have children is just so strong! My best friend is due to have a baby the day after mine was due in Sept 06 so its in my face all the time and my husband's refusal to have another makes it all the more difficult.

Thanks for your kind words. My thoughts are with you both and I hope it all works out.

:hugs: :fingerscrossed:

[Lisa&Davey]

:hugs: to you. Definitely seek counselling or something. It's such a complicated situation so I don't know the right advice to give but this is clearly very important to you and you don't want to end up resenting your DH. It might be as simple as he just doesn't realise how important it is to you. Guys can be soo think when it comes to this sort of thing.

Wishing you all the best.

[iluvmykidz]

Hi, I understand how you muct be feeling, as i am going through a very similar situation. I am 30 and my husband is 37. We have 4 gorgeous kids, a 12 yo daughter, and 3 boys, aged 10, 8, 7. While i was pregnant with our last baby, my husband had a vasectomy. At the time, i was only 23 and having my 4th baby. We decided it was the responsible decision to make....At the time.... But i have always found comfort in the fact that there was always a chance it could be reversed if we changed our mind. I have always played with the idea that it would be great to have another baby, and i've always had that secret longing.... and just recently it has started to be so strong, to the point i cant sleep, its all i can think about and i have been upset and crying while i'm up on my own at night, just knowing that there is a very high chance i wont be able to convince my husband that we should have another baby. I think i have all of a sudden realised that i'm not getting any younger and if i dont act on my instinct and at least try my hardest to change his mind, that it is something i am definately going to regret!! And i dont want to resent him for not letting me have another opportunity. I love my kids desperately, and i would love the chance to go through a planned pregnancy, and this time around everything wont be so rushed and busy, and i will have more to to relax and enjoy the whole experience again. I don't think my husband realises just how strongly i feel about this. I totally understand what you are going through. Sorry about my novel, LOL, i just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and i really and truely feel for you as the feelings of wanting a baby are terribly strong!! Thank you for listening. And good luck, i wish you all the best!!!!
Melissa