what 2 ask for??

[MeeG]

hay guys,

i finally went and saw a lawyer at womens legal service last night (btw they were great) and they gave me a form to fill out for legal aid to arrange a mediation with my babys dad,

i was jus wondering if anyone else has done this and if so what kinda things did u ask for and refuse to do? if anyone has any suggestions into what i shouldbe asking for, i know my lawyer will help me out but its nice to get more of a third party opinion sometimes....

[Mum2Bug]

:hugs: Good luck MeeG. I hope it all works out. I will be watching this thread with interest as I am right in the middle of it all at the moment now too.

[Niki]

goodluck i hope it all goes well

[LilShenanigans]

I never got to mediation, stuck to the lawyers which proved pointless in the end because nothing came of it...

But, I did have a list of things I would refuse to change my mind about, things like visitation time and length of time (there was a clause there that it was a set time and if running late or other things happened, then tough - the time had passed). I wasn't moving on my stand for birthdays/christmas/easter etc.
And given that I didn't have a car at the time my lawyer bluntly said he should buy me one... and later when I get a car he could pay petrol - this is because I refused to have a dirty backside in my house lol

So I say think of what happens in a full year, make a list of whats important to you and stand your ground on your priorities.

Goodluck, and hope everything goes well!

[Chanelc]

Very interested to hear the outcome & goodluck

[Deity]

At minimum:

A vehicle
nursery items e.g. Cot, Change Table, Pram, Car Seat and High Chair or lump sum to purchase them.
A fair agreement on child support, if it's not fair goto CSA www.csa.gov.au (http://www.csa.gov.au) 131 272 (NZ:1800 440 953)
REMEMBER: The baby grant of $4000 may seem like a lot of money, but it does not cover the cost of bringing a baby into the world, it goes in a flash and you still have expenses that need covering week after week.

Do Not be convinced by him/anyone that the items listed above are soley your responsibility and need to be paid for with the grant, that grant, you will find, will just help you in the initial stages until you get into a routine with your finances.

Visitation on your terms -If you are bringing this baby up alone, it is your lifestyle that will be affected, make sure you are completely happy with visitation agreements at the time of signing.

You do not have to sign anything you are not entirely comfortable with. It is easier to negotiate before the agreement is in place than afterwards. If you are unsure about anthing ASK.

Take a family member or senior friend/caregiver who has your welfare at interest - DO NOT BE BULLIED BY ANYONE (including 'red tape'). I know at 18 you are an adult, but take someone older anyway, that generation gap is useful at times like these.

Most importantly, Trust yourself.

[Chanelc]

I am interested to hear we can dicate visitation rights? I thought they had rights too - very curious

[♥My Innocent Angel♥]

i just want to add
MAKE SURE YOU GET THEM to organise that youhave residency(sp?) (used to be called legal custody now its called residency) as this means that you make all day to day decisions and that if he does get visitation makes sure that he has to bring her back at set times and can not take off with the her (more meaning to this) but dont know how much im allowed to say on here

[Deity]

Are you a single mum? What terms have you agreed to?

[MeeG]

still havent heard back from legal aid, ive only put in my application and they have to organise him as well... make sure he has a lawyer although i dont think hes eligable for legal aid :p , but im so eager to get this sorted out asap for my own sanity, he is a well hidden bully it took me so long to see... but now im on to him.... i think i will take a social worker with me from YPP jus for emotional support, but i will let you all know what ends up happening

[Mum2Lucas]

My friend and i go to ypp too but we're in ymg1. i think she took one of the workers with her one time to womens legal service. it made her feel more comfortable having someone she could trust with her... she has a conference with her babies father this month. i think shes going to ask for supervised visits because shes a bit worried. i know id get worried leaving my baby with his father even for an hour. but thats just me. when my parents divorced my dad and his new wife kept bagging my mum while we were with him until mum took him to court about it. anyway hope this is all helping. hope it goes well for you.

[MeeG]

hay jus an update on my sitution is i went to legal aid today to hand in my form and the lady was so so rude to me, pretty much bagging me out for not having any income atm, and told me she couldnt help and i would have to seek legal advice from a lawyer b4 going to legal aid.... then whats the point in going to legal aid???? i have no income what so ever so i more than qualify for it... so i was quite upset with my treatment by her, but decided i'll wait til i can get my payments from centrelink and jus fork it out for a lawyer :crying: , i was so depressed after that causenothings getting done and its so hard when i dont really know what im doing, then i got home and told my mum and my dad starting ringing lawyers and telling them the sitution which he doesnt even no properly so i asked him to leave it to me as it was my business and he started screaming at me and had a huge physco at me and even slammed the front door and sped off in his car, (i dont really like my dad) and i hate him trying to run my life... i jus so frigin depressed and i wish everyone would jus butt out of my life and let me handle things

[♥My Innocent Angel♥]

First of all:hugs: :hugs: you sound like you need some of these so there coming for you :hugs:

With Legal Aid i know when i applied i had to go to a lawyer first and i was getting a SPP
Most lawyers if you call em first(let them know you are wanting to use LA to check that they do this) do the first consult free and then in that consult they will suss out the situation of what you are wanting and send away an application to legal aid, and they work for you but are paid by LA if your app is approved which
There is no reason why it shouldnt be, if (worst case) you didnt get approved, Make sure you make it that clear that you dont want any further action so you dont get any hefty bills
Then you can at least know where you are at, I know not all lawyers do this but i would just look them up in your local phone book and call there office and ask them so to put it in point form cause i just confused myself :confused:

Call from homesome questions you could ask

Is the first consult free
Do they do Legal Aid casesalso state that if your LA doesnt go thru you dont want them to take any further action
i really hope i havent confused u
please anyone feel free to adjust or correct any of this as it has been over a yr since i did this so not a hundred percent on my info but just going from my memory here
Meeg PLEASE dont think im trying to tell you what to do this is from my experience and i dont even know if you are in the same state as me which can make a tonne of diff i wish you luck and im here for you to talk to if you need to and i hope you get this all worked out as quickly as possible so you dont have to stress
Sorry its such a long post

[Mum2Lucas]

that's a bit odd... after i had DS last year i got some forms for legal aide from centrelink and had to hand them in there and i got legal aide straight away. There was no seeing another lawyer or anything..... but im sorry to hear it all went so bad and that lady shouldntve been rude to you, i mean the only way to have an income while your pregnant is to have a job. I'm sure there's a complaints department for legal aide. hope it all get's worked out soon.

[Deity]

I agree, that all sounds a little odd. Sometimes the Legal Aid office has lawyers you can speak with about your case for 15 minutes and it costs $5 if you are in reciept of benefits, maybe she was referring to that.

If not, there should be a Community Legal Centre in your area. Because the service is at no charge they are often full to capacity but if you put a strong enough display in the reception about being poverty struck and really needing their assistance they will more than likely help you at least ascertain what you need and if there is anywhere else free that you could go to.

I noticed you are from Brisbane so I just did a quick Google search for Community Legal Centre Brisbane and it came up with a few that you could try depending on where you are and what is convenient for you:

Booval Community Service (each Tuesday)
14 South Station Road
Booval North Qld 4304
Ph: (07) 3816 1435

Need to contact South West Brisbane Community Legal Centre (07) 3372 7677 to make an appointment
Burdekin Neighbourhood Centre
40 Chippendale Street
PO Box 1342
Ayr Qld 4807
Ph: (07) 4783 4243
Fax: (07) 4783 5338
Email: bncai@austar.net.au



Try these guys too before giving a lawyer any money:


Queensland Public Interest Law Clearing House Inc Description
QPILCH is an assessment, research, referral and advice service, referring requests for legal assistance to member law firms, barristers and other professionals who provide pro bono assistance, and giving direct advice through volunteers and staff in discreet projects, such as to the homeless. Contact Details
Postal Address:
GPO Box 1543,
Brisbane,QLD,4001

Phone:07 3012 9773
Fax:07 3012 9774
Email:contact at qpilch.org.au (contact at qpilch.org.au)
@ replaced with ' at ' as an anti-spam measure. When using the above link to send an email be sure to replace the word 'at' with the symbol @.
How volunteers can help:
Provide Legal Advice
Research
Policy development/law reform
Training
Community Education


Hopefully there is something there that can help.

Take care :hugs:

[~EmsMum~]

good luck with it hun

let us know how it goes :hugs:

[MeeG]

jus keeping everyone updated lol, oh and it helps me vent and organise as well:rolleyes:

i have a meeting on friday with this mediation place, my ex has already spoken to them, then they speak to me and then they organise a date where we both get together and attempt to agree on stuff.... who knows when that'll b thu cause im about to burst!!!!! ah well hopefully this all gets sorted ASAP Wish me luck :fingerscrossed: :p

[oleander]

Hope it all ends on a positive note for you! :thumbsup:

[Hector]

:fingerscrossed: hoping everything goes well! my ex and i were trying to work things out without legal help but kept having probs so i went to see a solicitor and now have a whopping great bill (which my ex, despite always going on and on and ON about wanting to help me and not wanting his dd to suffer becos i'm not able to work AND despite the fact he just got ahuge windfall from tax office becos he is from UK and doesn't have to pay tax...WON'T pay a cent of!)

my solicitor was v nice but doesn't do legal aid...he gave me the forms and indicated that i should just send them in and they would find me a solicitor who took LA cases. Where do you live? god i hope i don't get teh woman you got or i might give her a slap!

[MeeG]

:fingerscrossed: despite always going on and on and ON about wanting to help me and not wanting his dd to suffer becos i'm not able to work


oh that sounds fimilar:laughing: , they want "the best" as long as they dont have to pay for it