For those who HAVE circ'd do you think u have maimed and abused your child?

[ShelbysMumma]

only answer if you are not going to be mean and judgmental, REMEMBER this is the PRO CIRCUMCISION THREAD

I have had my son circumcised when he was 2 1/2 weeks old and hes now 8 months

while reading on here and stupidly posting in "discuss it"
i have found that all the anti circers seem to think i have maimed, abused,degraded,hurt,harmed "inert judgmental words here" ets etc

if you have had your sons circumcised do you agree with their statements?

I strongly disagree and i think they are just mean!

[Lolanthe]

Yes, I really do.Its one of my only regrets in life. There was nothing wrong with my babies and I allowed a doctor to circumcise them. I feel embarassed when people bring up the health pros because I don't agree with them. These are my own opinions so please dont dispute it. We only circumcised so that my two boys would look like like their father, but hes left us and isnt on the scene anymore. I am dreading the day i have to explain to my boys that i allowed someone to circumcise them, and i'm scared that day is closer than i think because my oldest son has already started questioning it because his best mate is not cut. I dont think anti circers are being mean, i think they are being honest, and if your son ever says he didnt want it done you might see where they are coming from. I know i do, i feel rotten for circumcising my angels.

[BigRedV]

Yes, I really do.Its one of my only regrets in life. There was nothing wrong with my babies and I allowed a doctor to circumcise them. I feel embarassed when people bring up the health pros because I don't agree with them. These are my own opinions so please dont dispute it. We only circumcised so that my two boys would look like like their father, but hes left us and isnt on the scene anymore. I am dreading the day i have to explain to my boys that i allowed someone to circumcise them, and i'm scared that day is closer than i think because my oldest son has already started questioning it because his best mate is not cut. I dont think anti circers are being mean, i think they are being honest, and if your son ever says he didnt want it done you might see where they are coming from. I know i do, i feel rotten for circumcising my angels.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Father]

if you have had your sons circumcised do you agree with their statements?

I strongly disagree and i think they are just mean!

Absolutely not. Just the standard anti-circ "scare and abuse" tactics. It's really all they can rely on.

[Blonde Assassin]

Nope! I don't agree with any of their "scare" statements!

DF & I are 100% happy with the decision we made for OUR CHILD :yes:

[AnnaT]

Statements like that make me laugh. If you look at a playground full of boys; could you pick the circ'ed from the uncirc'ed? Uh no. Same as you wouldnt be able to pick breastfed from formula fed. My boys are no different to my friends sons who arent circumcised. They are also not disadvantaged in anyway, their penis' work just fine. I dont believe their sex life will be hindered either because they wont even know what it is like to have sex with a foreskin. Cant miss what you dont have. Im sure there are alot of circ'ed men who would have a good giggle at people thinking they have less than good sex lives.
The only concern I have is some person filling their heads with nonsense about child abuse and making them think they dont work like "normal" men or some other rubbish. Its ludicrous.

ETA - obviously there is the risk of it going wrong. Unfortunately that happens in all surgical procedures. I also believe there are Drs out there who should not be doing it because they are not properly qualified; I made sure I did my research, I understood the minimal risks and I also met with the Dr before I agreed to anything being done. I even watched my Ds2 be circumcised because I believe in walking the walk. It was a bit gut wrenching when he cried but I assure you it isnt as traumatic as everyone makes it out to be. It was over and done with very quickly. Anaesthetic was used (he was more distressed about being held down) . He was fine 5min later. He wont remember it either.
I find it entertaining when people ask me why *I* chose to have them circumcised; my husband is actually intact, I also left the final say up to him. He did his research; and based on his own experience of not being circumcised decided we should do it. And so we did. I dont regret it. I think there are untold amounts of other worthwile causes people could get on their highhorse about.

[Lil M]

We chose not to circ our DS but for those that do I wouldn't consider for one moment that you have maimed or abused him, it has health benefits & that's why people choose to do it, they are not doing it to be mean!! That's why I don't understand the "human rights" argument parents do it to benefit their child not to torture them!

[Tam-I-Am]

I would really HOPE they didn't feel like that...even if they did feel now that they hadn't perhaps acted in their child's best interests. Guilt is so useless in those sort of situations - and when I talk from an anti-RIC perspective, it's NEVER to make the people who have RICed their bubs feel awful about it.

[ShelbysMumma]

tam-i-am - i know you say you hope that is not how they feel but the things they were saying made me feel horrible and like my son should be taken away from me because im a monster, i got very depressed over the comments and i didnt come on bubhub for a few months

i know you probably were'nt being sympathetic towards me though, i do think they want me to feel horrible, i dont regret it though.:no:

[Pulp Fiction]

tam-i-am - i know you say you hope that is not how they feel but the things they were saying made me feel horrible and like my son should be taken away from me because im a monster, i got very depressed over the comments and i didnt come on bubhub for a few months

i know you probably were'nt being sympathetic towards me though, i do think they want me to feel horrible, i dont regret it though.:no:

Yeah, I imagine you probably have to be pretty thick skinned to post in the 'discuss it' threads if you're a circer.

I wouldn't post in there if the comments bother you. You made the decision to circ, you are happy with it. You don't need to justify it to anyone.

I don't post in there either, simply because I don't see the point. I know both sides of the debate and how passionately people feel either way. I don't see the point in going in there and arguing back and forth about it.

Actually, I did post in there once, when I thought DS had sand trapped under his foreskin and I wanted advise from impartial people as to what I should do. (I really didn't know where else to post it.)

But I don't go in there for discussion/debating purposes. Maybe you shouldn't either if people in there are getting you down. :hugs:

[ShelbysMumma]

But I don't go in there for discussion/debating purposes. Maybe you shouldn't either if people in there are getting you down. :hugs:

:iagree: yeah i dont, i had only just joined bubhub and didnt know where to post it, i didnt realise there were people that would say those kinds of things, i will never post in there again, not my own thread anyway, im scared enough someone is going to go off at me in here!!:(

[crazymuma]

I remember that thread too. *shudders*. All the negative comments you recieved were related to not using anaesthetic.

I have always conceded that people who circ do so thinking they are making the best decision for their child. With no anaesthetic though, I don't understand.


To be honest I have never had much of an opinion on circumcision - my child isn't but each to their own.

[SassyMummy]

My grandparents circed all their sons. My ILs circed DP. I think neither of them are awful or abusive or anything like that. I think they did what they thought was right at the time.

I think that's all parents want for their kids - what is best. Sometimes people might be misguided when making a decision, but I couldn't think a parent is cruel or nasty for doing something they truly believe to be in the best interests of their child.

[ShelbysMumma]

:banghead::banghead::banghead:
I am not getting into this again but hear this

I rang 6 doctors who perform it, all whom i had to travel to over 5hrs, each one said they didnt use it, i was not told about emla cream or else i would have used that for sure!

next time will be different, i will make sure ds2 (if i have another son) will get anaesthetic

this is in the PRO circ section so please anti circers LEAVE as you are not PRO-CIRC:wave:

I just want you all to know that i got very badly depressed because of all your comments and i am not letting it happen again. :no:

[BigRedV]

I just want you all to know that i got very badly depressed because of all your comments and i am not letting it happen again. :no:


If you are 100% happy with your choice to circ, then who cares what others think, especially those behind a computer screen!

[Hootenanny]

Shelbys mumma I'm not sure what you are hoping to achieve with this thread but if it affects you that much maybe you should walk away from it.
I think you made a decision you thought was best for your child, that doesn't make you an abuser or maimer and certainly doesn't make you a bad parent. As you have stated you will do things differently next time and that is great, someone else on this forum recently quoted oprah with 'if you know better, you do better' and I think that is true. Please don't dwell on others opinions as there will always be others who have a different opinion.

[ShelbysMumma]

If you are 100% happy with your choice to circ, then who cares what others think, especially those behind a computer screen!

I am happy, but people telling me im a monster and my son has been abused and i shouldnt be a mother wouldnt make anyone feel good, yes i questioned my actions but i still stand by it, as i said next time will be different.


AGAIN this is a pro circ thread, i posted in the right place this time so this shouldnt be happening, i am done
iam not justifying myself again, im happy with my choice:yes:

I love my son more than anything and im not a monster, just a loving mother doing what I think is best for MY child.

i ask anti circers once again to leave.

[ShelbysMumma]

Shelbys mumma I'm not sure what you are hoping to achieve with this thread but if it affects you that much maybe you should walk away from it.
I think you made a decision you thought was best for your child, that doesn't make you an abuser or maimer and certainly doesn't make you a bad parent. As you have stated you will do things differently next time and that is great, someone else on this forum recently quoted oprah with 'if you know better, you do better' and I think that is true. Please don't dwell on others opinions as there will always be others who have a different opinion.

I think you are right, i think its time to leave bubhub again. i was starting this thread to hopefully:rolleyes: get some feedback on if other people feel attacked too. i guess they are probably smart and dont tell anyone, not like stupid me who has a strong heart and mind, i always get punished for it:(

[Pulp Fiction]

Shelbys mumma I'm not sure what you are hoping to achieve with this thread but if it affects you that much maybe you should walk away from it.

I'm pretty sure she was wanting reassurance from other circers that she hasn't maimed and abused her child.

Apparently last time she posted in the 'discuss it' thread a lot of people tried to make her feel guilty.

[Kangaskippy]

I think you are right, i think its time to leave bubhub again. i was starting this thread to hopefully:rolleyes: get some feedback on if other people feel attacked too. i guess they are probably smart and dont tell anyone, not like stupid me who has a strong heart and mind, i always get punished for it:(

Don't leave, you did what you felt was right and that is what being a parent is all about.

Both my sons are Circ'd and the next one will be as well...DH and I both made this decision for our children and that is not for anyone else to criticize (and really, I don't care what they think about it or say for that matter), & what they do for their children is none of my business.

[Benji]

My grandparents circed all their sons. My ILs circed DP. I think neither of them are awful or abusive or anything like that. I think they did what they thought was right at the time.

I think that's all parents want for their kids - what is best. Sometimes people might be misguided when making a decision, but I couldn't think a parent is cruel or nasty for doing something they truly believe to be in the best interests of their child.

Ditto. My Dad is circumcised and my grantparents were nothing short of loving, caring, nurturing parents to him and his siblings. My poor grandmother did however tell me if she actually had a choice back then she wouldn't have actually had her boys circumcised but that's another story.

OP I don't think YOU have abused or maimed your son :hugs:

I did use a version of controlled-comforting on my son out of sheer desperation and I know a lot of bubhubbers state that it is neglect and emotional abuse so I just don't reat the anti controlled crying threads because words really do hurt especially when most of us are trying our darn hardest to be the best parents we can.

[Hootenanny]

Shelby's mumma I don't think you should leave bubhub but I also don't think posting on here about circumcision is going to be helpful if you do feel hurt by the comments, I agree there should not have been comments from anti-ric when it was in the procirc section but as you saw even people who have circed may still have their regrets.
It is such an emotive topic as most people have either circed their child for reasons they consider to be in the best interests of their child and of course will be upset at any criticism OR they feel it is a human rights issue and are passionate about protecting human rights and it is hard to reach common ground. I don't think you deserve to be personally attacked and ignore anyone who has nothing positive to add to the discussion.

[Benji]

Maybe try a PM to Xkwizit, I think she's the mod dedicated to the circ areas.

[ShelbysMumma]

Shelby's mumma I don't think you should leave bubhub but I also don't think posting on here about circumcision is going to be helpful if you do feel hurt by the comments, I agree there should not have been comments from anti-ric when it was in the procirc section but as you saw even people who have circed may still have their regrets.
It is such an emotive topic as most people have either circed their child for reasons they consider to be in the best interests of their child and of course will be upset at any criticism OR they feel it is a human rights issue and are passionate about protecting human rights and it is hard to reach common ground. I don't think you deserve to be personally attacked and ignore anyone who has nothing positive to add to the discussion.


thank you luvmyboys :hugs:

[RaryGirl]

Everyone please remember this thread is in the PRO area ... please stick to answering the OP's questions and reply within the rules of the pro area


Pro-Circumcision - For those wanting to ask questions about the procedure, medical practitioners, after-effects etc. Any attempts by viewers to tell viewers why they shouldn't circumcise will be removed.

OP please use the report button (little triangle) of any posts that you feel are inappropriate for this area.

[ShelbysMumma]

Everyone please remember this thread is in the PRO area ... please stick to answering the OP's questions and reply within the rules of the pro area



OP please use the report button (little triangle) of any posts that you feel are inappropriate for this area.

thank you rarygirl, i didnt know that was the report button.
thanks again:)

[delirium]

I'm not pro circ, but we circed our son and we stand 100% behind our decision. I will debate with the anti circers once in a while when I feel I really need to dismiss the myths that are spread here about circ.

But I don't feel any guilt :no: I respect the anti circ perspective, and support their reasoning in some ways. But it's really about risk vs benefit. I see more benefit than risk. Others see more risk than benefit.

I know what type of parent I am, I educated myself and found lots of studies that support the benefits pf circ. Others may not agree with those research but that's them and I'm me.

The real question is OP, do you feel you made the right choice? (no anesthetic aside, you have said you will use it next time and please, do that) If your answer is yes, then stand behind your decision. I know I do, and not bc I'm trying to make myself feel better but bc I genuinely believe I made the right decision.

The Hub really can be a wonderful, supportive place, thus my post count :o do what I do, keep away from the circ threads when you are having a bad day or feeling low. Or even better, if a comment is ticking me off, I hit the off switch on the 'puter and problem solved :D I will come back later when I'm feeling better able to express myself without frustration.

[ShelbysMumma]

But I don't feel any guilt :no: I respect the anti circ perspective, and support their reasoning in some ways. But it's really about risk vs benefit. I see more benefit than risk. Others see more risk than benefit.

I know what type of parent I am, I educated myself and found lots of studies that support the benefits pf circ. Others may not agree with those research but that's them and I'm me.

The real question is OP, do you feel you made the right choice? (no anesthetic aside, you have said you will use it next time and please, do that) If your answer is yes, then stand behind your decision. I know I do, and not bc I'm trying to make myself feel better but bc I genuinely believe I made the right decision.

The Hub really can be a wonderful, supportive place, thus my post count :o do what I do, keep away from the circ threads when you are having a bad day or feeling low. Or even better, if a comment is ticking me off, I hit the off switch on the 'puter and problem solved :D I will come back later when I'm feeling better able to express myself without frustration.

yes i agree, and yes i will use anaesthetic next time even if i have to fly to perth to do it (im in vic).
yes i know i have made the right choice, i have never, not even once looked at his penis and thought, "should i have done that"? its a resounding yes, i dont even question it, even before we knew it was a boy, even before i was pregnant we just both felt the same way and there was barely even a discussion because it is what we both wanted :yes: i logged off last night and was very annoyed my thread had been moved to discuss it section, it had not turned into a discussion it had turned into a hatefest towards me, it has since been moved back to pro circ like it should have been,
and i will be reporting anything i think is off topic or mean or abusive towards my decision, and not answering the question that it all began with!!

[Father]

yes i agree, and yes i will use anaesthetic next time even if i have to fly to perth to do it (im in vic).


You won't need to fly to Perth. My boy was circ'd in Melbourne with Plastibell and EMLA. It worked a treat.

Pretty easy to find if you google "Melbourne" and "circumcision".

I hope this thread can remain positive now that it is back in the appropriate section.:)

[CocktailBubba]

yes i agree, and yes i will use anaesthetic next time even if i have to fly to perth to do it (im in vic).
yes i know i have made the right choice, i have never, not even once looked at his penis and thought, "should i have done that"? its a resounding yes, i dont even
question it, even before we knew it was a boy, even before i was pregnant we just both felt the same way and there was barely even a discussion because it is what we both wanted :yes: i logged off last night
and was very annoyed my thread had been moved to discuss it section, it had not turned into a discussion it had turned into a hatefest towards me, it has since been
moved back to pro circ like it should have been,
and i will be reporting anything i think is off topic or mean or abusive towards my
decision, and not answering the question that it all began with!!

My DS is circ'ed and we're in Vic. Where abouts are u located? U will be able to have the procedure done here.

[ShelbysMumma]

To 1988- im in mildura and at the hospital here they gave me a sheet of 4 doctors that still practised it (their words) and one was melb others in adelaide, that was all i got!


I haven't personally circ'd my boys, but that is because I listened (in part) to my mother and my aunty. Mum didn't have my brother done, the nurses discouraged her (28yrs ago) saying it was unecessary. My Aunty did get her eldest done. She regrets it and wishes she had never subjected him to (these are her words, so I hope this is not censored as the OP asked for honesty) 'such unecessary pain and suffering'. I haven't honestly asked her if she thinks she maimed or abused him, but she regretted it so much that when she had her next 2 boys neither of them were circ'd. When they were growing up she was fearful of the day that he noticed he was different to his younger brothers and she had to explain why to him. She felt terribly guilty that she had done that to him.

and no charlis mum that is an answer to the question its not telling me i shouldnt have done it so thanks, thats what im after, people that have had it done and how they feel, i am happy and i dont believe their statements but i want to know how others feel that HAVE circ'd

[Lolanthe]

I think I have maimed my child .

I'm neither anti or pro, each parent needs to make their own choices I think. I just regret the choice I made.

[Father]

For myself (and my wife), because we chose it with much research, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty.

[Father]

We only circumcised so that my two boys would look like like their father, but hes left us and isnt on the scene anymore.

I read your post. But it wasn't really applicable to me, so I didn't respond. If you demand a response, then I will give you one.

You chose circumcision for completely different reasons than I did. You chose it to look like your now ex. But I chose it for the medical benefits. I WILL NOT regret my decision.
So maybe your reasoning wasn't entirely valid for your family. I'm sorry that you feel you made the incorrect choice. But it sounds like it was more your ex's choice than yours. If you were so against it you shouldn't have got it done.

If research has made you now regret your decision, then I guess you didn't do enough research prior to making the decision.
Again, completely different to me. I researched everything, so that I could make a decision with confidence.

[RaryGirl]

I think you may have misunderstood the OP ... from what I understand, she wasn't asking if anyone regretted circumcising their sons, but did others who have circumcised agree with statements such as:


i have found that all the anti circers seem to think i have maimed, abused,degraded,hurt,harmed "inert judgmental words here" ets etc

if you have had your sons circumcised do you agree with their statements?

I strongly disagree and i think they are just mean!

[Lolanthe]

My last post used the word regret, but my first post detailed how I felt about it. So yes I agree with those statments and I didnt misunderstand the question, im aware its not just about regretting it. And i DID research it, and the research made it feel ok to do, for a little while. But I was kidding myself, the research is laughable. I have already mentioned that. Its my personal opinion though, im not trying to start a debate and I dont want to justify why I think its laughable. I do regret that i let my ex convince me that it was a good decision to make, even though HIS main reasons were to look like him. So here is one person who agrees with the statements maimed, abused,degraded,hurt,harmed "inert judgmental words here" ets etc. People in this section seem to have a really hard time understanding that someone who circed could agree with those statements!

[Lolanthe]

And i don't have to justify myself, the question was asked and i answered. The fact that it has been ignored by the person who started the thread is what I was getting at.

[Father]

So here is one person who agrees with the statements maimed, abused,degraded,hurt,harmed "inert judgmental words here" ets etc. People in this section seem to have a really hard time understanding that someone who circed could agree with those statements!

Thanks for sharing your comments. I understand.
As you said, you are ONE person who feels that way. You have stated that.