When did I become so alone??

[FamilyMum]

I just celebrated my 26th Birthday and realised I no longer have any close (and I mean really close) girlfriends I can tell absolutely everything too. What happened? What part of being married or a mum makes you lose touch? I'm not saying that it is entirely my old friends faults ither. It is mine too, i've been so busy being a wife to my 37 year old husband and supporting his career, and a mother to my six year old son and three year old daughter that i've lost contact with all my childhood friends. I love my family but where has [B]my[/B ]life gone?

Just needed to vent that :)

FamilyMum

[spoon]

I know you posted this in 20 something, and I am 30 something, but I thought I would drop you a note because I can relate. I stopped having a life too at first and it got to the point where I lost myself a little too. I have since regained my sence of self by making time for myself. I am a lot happier now and feel great. I am at uni, have a sence of direction and have made lots of new friends, plus I am going to find the time to hang out with my old friends in June. They understand I am busy with family and uni but are happy for me because I am doing something for me. Good luck hun, you are not alone. Most mums feel this way some time or another.:hugs:

[FamilyMum]

Thankyou Spoon,

I feel like crying just to know someone understands what I am going through. I’ve been so busy with my family that I forgotten me. When you decided to study at Uni how did you know what to study? I feel like I’ve lost myself so much that I don’t even know what I’m interested in anymore?

Thanks again,
FamilyMum

[spoon]

:hugs:If you ever need me feel free to PM me:hugs:

I did my HSC equivilent at UNI in which I took 2 different courses. One in English literature,and one in Sociology. I picked them because they fit best with the days I had available for childcare, and I was most intested in them. It turned out that I LOVED sociology and thought english was okay so I chose a degree where I would get to study a lot of sociology. I have been just so thrilled to be learning something new. It satisfies me so much:goodvibes: and I have become a better wife and mother because I am not giving up my whole life. The ultimate bonus now is that I have discovered my perfect career! And my degree is taking me there!! I am going to be able to help so many people which I love, by expressing themselves through art!!! My other true love! I will be an Art therapist one day!!! Well after I finished my Masters :D

I read a great book once that you might like. It was awesome, helped me understand what I wanted in life. Very practical too.It is called finding your north star, by martha beck. Here is a link from a quick google http://personaldevelopment.suite101.com/article.cfm/finding-your-north-star-book-review

Don't be too sad hun, this is the begining of a whole new day for you. Remember, life is beautiful. xxx:goodvibes:

[Amara]

The same happened to me and I am in my forties. For me I think its my work that keeps me sane as I have people to chat to on the days I am at work. My situation was made worse by me becoming single as I didn't even have my bubs dad for company anymore. Sounds crazy but work saved me.

[designertaste]

We do loose ourselves at times. We are mums we sacrifice and forget about our own wants and needs. I know exactly what you are going through and I think every mum can relate.

Im almost 24 years old and at the moment ive been spending my days lately finding jobs for my hubby so he can get a better education and a better job. My hubby told me last night "Well Sarah, why don't you take a course in something you enjoy too" I had complety forgotten about myself.(ive always wanted to continue my education)

Ive only just found Bubhub.com.au and im so happy to find that im not the only one. So.....

Your not alone!

Sarah

[FamilyMum]

Thank you all so much, there is so much comfort in one mother telling another that everything is going to be ok.

I’m definitely going to buy that book Spoons I love Martha Beck as an author sounds just what I need.

Amara I can see how work could be a saviour as mad as that might sound to some people who have never been lonely mothers lol.

Designertaste I hope you don’t forget yourself like I have don’t let what your husband is saying fall on deaf ears.

Thank you all again it means a lot.

[kc83]

Hi FamilyMum,

I just joined in the forum today and while browsing around I came across your post that really touched me. I am 26 yrs old and 28wks 4days pregnant to today's date.

I have lately felt a kick " You are alone..no friends at all !". That feeling has been worse since I took some time off work due to my current pregnancy, moving to Perth( from melbourne) and having parents who are overseas.

However it looks that it all happened since I got married 4 years ago with my husband almost twice my age. I felt at that time that my friends were very judgemental of the situation. It was even harder with my husband's social group. We both hence decided to let go of our judgemental friends and move on with our life together. As a couple we grew stronger but myself , I have felt really alone. I have a younger sister but I cannot quite relate to her totally due to her lack of life experience. Hence I really miss having some friends with the same maturity level as me.

I agree with “Spoon’s” post: “about finding what you want in life”. At the moment I am trying to take the free time to concentrate on the arrival of my baby and going back to uni for some further studies.

Hold on tight girl! ( I need to say that to myself loud everyday as at time I feel sooo overwhelmed)

Regards
Kc83

[louise37]

All i can say is thank god i am not alone on this!!!!!!!
I feel this same way , i am in my 30's have 2 kids and feel that i all i do is clean and look after the kids.
I lost my best friend just before Xmas to breast cancer and i am trying really hard to connect to my other friends , but it is not the same.
I need to find a hobbie, sport or something to get me back on track.
It is nice to hear that i am not an alien and there is other women going through the same sort of thing.

[futureherder]

I could have written this myself...I dont know where they have gone but I know I dont have time to hang out in clubs and coffee shops anymore and that seems to clash with their lifestlye so there you go...I would prefer to be with other mothers now because they dont get bored of me talking about poo quite as quickly LOL

I do have a very close friend who is currently waiting to TTC and I cant wait until she has her little bundle!

[FamilyMum]

It amazes me that so many women feel the same way and that we can all come together because of this one issue. I understand what you mean lousie37 when you said that you feel you need a hobby, sport or something. It’s exactly like that, It the feeling of needing to find self.

Kc83 I hope your pregnancy is going well and I can totally relate to the age debate. My husband is 11years older than me and it seem that only he and I had no issue with it for a long time. I am a big believer that you love who you love regardless of age, sex, race, religion. Nobody can tell you who you are drawn too or how you feel about someone. I’m not saying that any of these categories are for everybody but I think as long as you are in a loving, healthy, safe relationship who is it that has the right to judge.

Maybe you are onto something futureherder I would prefer to be with other mothers now to. Maybe because that understand if I have to take my little one to the toilet or I can’t pay 100% attention on them because my kids are around or they understand the value of sneaking out on a Thursday night late night shopping and they are excited just to be alone doing something for themselves.

Thank you once again to all the mothers who have contributed to this post it really has made a world of difference, just taking the time to read and write, as I know how precious time is to all of you.