Sorry, but I hated Breastfeeding!

[Goosie22]

Daily Mail (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=398673&in_page_id=1879&in_a_source) UK 2.08.06

What do you think.

[SilverStarfish]

I feel sorry for her :( It seems like she didn't get anywhere near the support she needed...

If she had, she still may not have been able to do it. Who knows? But with those sorts of people around, the poor lady didn't stand a chance.

[the_queen]

Haven't read the article yet, but when i saw the name of this thread and then saw that the author was GOOSIE, i sweardagawd i choked on my chocky bikky...

[MamaSage]

Wow. My eyebrows are raised, my jaw dropped. I pity this woman for feeling as she does. She clearly had poor support from family and peers. And as for being 'overwhelmed by his neediness' umm... small babies have lots of needs. They don't have batteries, no off switch. Honey you should have looked into it before procreating.

[LittleBoysRock]

I felt the same way when I had my DS. I WAS against FF and tried to BF but it was very difficult.

I didnt really get any milk and by day 5 DS was starving and screaming night and day. I wasnt shown properly how to get DS attached properly so found it very painful and due to that stressful at feed time.

I was asked by a lactation consultant how everything was and when I said terrible, she said that's no good, you will have to ask somebody else I am too busy to stop. I just had no support from the hospital. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

I am yet to decide whether to even attempt BF with #2. :o

[Seekrit]

Haven't read the article yet, but when i saw the name of this thread and then saw that the author was GOOSIE, i sweardagawd i choked on my chocky bikky...
more chocolate?
I did the same. :p (only I was drinking water while begging the husband on MSN to pick me up chocolate on the way home)

I feel really sorry for her, she seemed to cop it from the boob-nazis. I do understand that some people don't like breastfeeding. I feel quite happy that I enjoy it.. but yeah, some people don't like it and that's fair enough.. I haven't discovered the 'joy' of cracked nipples yet tho'.

But did she SERIOUSLY say she weened her baby onto solids at 8 weeks.

[bigglet]

It was interesting to read the author say "Twenty-four hours after giving birth to Henry 11 years ago, I still hadn't got him to latch onto my breast properly."

Did anyone (especially new mothers) manage to get their baby to latch properly within the first day?!?!
It took me about 6-8 weeks before I finally managed to "get the hang of it" so to speak and this was due to perserverance and help from the breastfeeding clinic - I had numerous appointments with them and there were some frustrating moments!!

I do have to admit that it does depend on the support you do get (if you do get it) with regards to breastfeeding - if you have a bad experience it can be hard to stay motivated and perservere.

Breastfeeding is not as easy as baby lambs make it look and the road can be tough and hard but I personally found it to be extremely rewarding and special to me and am proud that I didn't give up. But that was a personal choice - not everyone has the same journey.

[SilverStarfish]

Haven't read the article yet, but when i saw the name of this thread and then saw that the author was GOOSIE, i sweardagawd i choked on my chocky bikky...


:laughing: I did a cartoon double take as well!

[Rainbowbrite]

That poor woman :crying: I'm so lucky that i had a great lc at hospital that helped me so much with bf. I did not like bf in the beginning at all, it took alot of practice,. blood, sweat & tears :yes:

[Lil X-men]

poor lady I feel her pain completely.
That rebuttle at the bottom saying FF mums can't be bothered trying to BF infuriates me, I tried harder than you can ever imagine. I wish people wouldn't judge others when they haven't been in their shoes to know what their experience was like!!

[Mamaduke]

This woman is my new hero!!
I too found breastfeeding difficult and dare I say it, boring & relentless...I struggled and persevered only because my baby was a premmie.
I love the fact that with FF everyone can share the love that feeding a new baby brings!

[Fitmumma]

I think this story is a prime example of how challanging motherhood IS!!!
Its not glamorous or easy & unfortunately you do not find that out until it is thrust upon you (in the form of a very needy newborn):D
Im sure we have all questioned our ability at times, I know I have!
But as challanging as motherhood is it is equally beautiful & over far too soon!:)

[Ana Gram]

Goosie, a quick request that you also post this article in another section as this section is only for pro-breastfeeding only. It staes pretty clearly that the rest will be deleted and I think this is an interesting enough article for everyone to look at.

[reAllytee]

I think one of the comments after the article pretty much says why many remain silent on this issue or why many feel so attacked by the "nazis" so to speak.


I can't understand women who have childen but aren't prepared to do the best for them. Breastfeeding is better than formula feeding. Fact.

Tess's points about not being able to get dressed until the afternoon are pathetic. I had a caesarian delivery last Friday. This morning I breastfed my daughter at 5.30am, put her back down for a sleep at 6.30 am, got in the shower, washed and dried my hair and put my make up on, got dressed and was ready to feed her again at 7.30am when she woke again. It's really not that difficult.

People just can't be bothered to persevere with things. All this 'a happy mother makes a happy baby' stuff is just a cover used by women who are too lazy and put their own personal needs above that of their babies. It makes me wonder why people bother to have them in the first place.

- Rachel, Bedford

What one woman experiences cannot be compared to anothers.
To say your experience was X & that because they too had a caesar they should be experiencing X is complete rubbish !

[veve]

And as for being 'overwhelmed by his neediness' umm... small babies have lots of needs. They don't have batteries, no off switch. Honey you should have looked into it before procreating.

what a snarky comment! how harsh! she opens up and tells her story (heartbreaking though it was ) and you slam her!

I am an educated woman .. I have a degree.. and I have done YEARS of babysitting and respite care for various people with disabilities .. I would have bet thousands of dollars that I was really well organised and knew what I was infor when I had my little man.

I am only to happy to tell you that there is NOTHING that can prepare you for the shock that a new baby brings.. I remember clearly the tears at two in the morning .. when you just WANT SLEEP - and bubs doesn't .. I clearly remember HATING my son for the pain he inflicted during feeds.. and then feeling the horror - that I couldn't connect with my own child... this woman needs lots of hugs and support .. especially if she has another child...

I loved the article (thanks for the link goosie!!) - it is so nice to hear of other women who felt the same inadequacies that I felt .. I loved that she felt she could share that ..

xx
Jen

[cosmic]

When women suffer horrendous morning sickness, they cop it. It's part of nurturing a growing baby, even if it means mummy suffers terribly, both physically and emotionally.

When baby is OUT, it still requires nurturing from mummy, in the form of breastfeeding. Indeed breastfeeding is how the baby's immune system develops. It is what nature intended. It's all part of the journey. I truly believe the first 3mths of a baby's life are the 4th trimester.

So how come women are quite prepared to suffer no matter how painful pregnancy might be, but suddenly breastfeeding is optional?? It makes me wonder if it were possible to take the baby out and grow it in a test-tube would women opt for that, so that they don't have to be inconvenienced by being pregnant. Feeding a baby artifical milk just because you "don't like" breastfeeding is exactly the same IMHO.

[MamaSage]

Sorry, I see that my comment was snarky, but theree is no such thing as 'the perfect baby' and I thought everyone knew that. This woman was speaking as though she was genuinely shocked at the helplessness and neediness of such a tiny new infant... which somewhat surprised me.
Cosmic - I totally agree.

[veve]

sorry carlia - I reacted fairly emotionally too (to your post)

snarky may have been a little strong ...

so :hugs:

xx

[MamaSage]

Thats cool. I admit when I read it I was a little shocked, and reacted a little quick without thinking for too long :rolleyes: The whole article really blew me away.

[xkwzit]

I never really "enjoyed" BF, some ppl get a huge amount of satisfaction and enjoyment - but I didn't. I didn't really "hate" it though either.

I wanted to BF because I knew it was best nutritionally and immunologically - not because I enjoyed it.

I was able to BF because I had a tremendous amount of support, from my DH, a great LC and my paed. Also because I chose to ignore my CHN.

I think its important to acknowledge that you might not "love" BF. That does not lessen its importance though. If you get the right support, you can maximise your chances at BF success.

Cheers

[shed]

Nine days in and I have no complaints. I was lucky enough that bubby knew what to do and latched on on the first go.

but thats not to say I didn't experience some awful women because i did. Two of them. the first one was on the first night at around 9pm. She came in and asked if I had fed him yet, I said that he had had a go after the birth when I was trying to deliver the placenta naturally, and an hour or so before hand. She picked him up out of his crib thing and handed him to me and demanded that I feed him. so I did, and she grabbed my areola and pushed on it.

Then she said he would sleep right through the night for seven hours so I wouldn't need to feed him during the night as he had had a big day and would sleep though. My cousin came to visit me and she has had four kids and she said the same thing.

Approximately six hours later another lady comes in and asks if I had fed bubby. I said no and that he had slept through and that I thought he would tell me when he woke up hungry by making a noise. she said that I should have woken him and fed him and that I shouldnt have let him sleep that long because now his blood sugar would have dropped and she needed to do a heel ***** to test it and that I mustnt let him go that long ever again.

I handed him over for the heel ***** and she said I should feed him which i did. I wish I could go back in time and strangle the (insert gutter language here) because she made me feel like a bad mother on my very first day and she stabbed my baby in the heel and I let her and that makes me feel like crying even as I type this.

Anyhoo, the next so-called helpful staff member came in and suggested that I supplement with formula so bubby wasnt going hungry. She in turn was told that I wasnt giving my baby formula under any circumstances and that I was quite confident that I was equipped to feed my baby and that she should leave the room so I could do this as I was still learning and didn't like people watching me. (I am not making this up, I had had a gutful and asked her to leave, and then I asked to be discharged when the next person walked in).

Honestly, the make it harder than they help. They all say different things and its pretty pathetic.

[Lil X-men]

When women suffer horrendous morning sickness, they cop it. It's part of nurturing a growing baby, even if it means mummy suffers terribly, both physically and emotionally.

When baby is OUT, it still requires nurturing from mummy, in the form of breastfeeding. Indeed breastfeeding is how the baby's immune system develops. It is what nature intended. It's all part of the journey. I truly believe the first 3mths of a baby's life are the 4th trimester.

So how come women are quite prepared to suffer no matter how painful pregnancy might be, but suddenly breastfeeding is optional?? It makes me wonder if it were possible to take the baby out and grow it in a test-tube would women opt for that, so that they don't have to be inconvenienced by being pregnant. Feeding a baby artifical milk just because you "don't like" breastfeeding is exactly the same IMHO.

Yet again making people who choose to FF fell like ****!!! The woman in the article did not chose to FF purely because she didnt like BF, nor did I. But I am not going to defend my reasons for FF again, it's a losing battle.
I am a good mother and did the best for my child no matter what you say. I wont let it upset me anymore. :banghead:

[Lil X-men]

Shed - I agree they are very contradictory, next time I'm in there I'll be telling them (midwives) all to bugger off and do the BF on my own, they were responsible for my nipples being torn to shreds, by shoving my boob in bubs mouth. I know better now and a personal LC will be in order to shoo them away!!

[Mariposa]

i have b/f all 3 of my children. im lucky to have been able to do this, but i can understand when people cant. there have been many times where ive wanted to give up, 1. mastitis 2 cracked nipples. 3. engorgement. 4 omg im so tired. they are just a few. with dd2 i started to supplement her feeds with some formula what i called a "top up" only because she was constantly hungry, and i felt she wasnt getting enuff from me, with all my children the feeds are constant, every 2hrs. even now with feeding dd3, she likes to feed every 1.5-2hrs (i had to push her to feed for the first couple of weeks as she was jaundiced) but this has continued on. yes i do love breastfeeding but there are times when i wish (spec during the day) that i didnt have to constantly be on my bottom feeding!

i am all for breastfeeding and bottlefeeding. as long as ur baby is being fed is what counts! :D

[cheezelkat]

I'm a huge advocate for breastfeeding and will happily give advice and recommendations to people who want it.
However, I don't *love* it. I continue to do it because I have milk, can latch him on and the benefits of Liam having breastmilk far outweigh any boredom or frustrating feelings I encounter.

[cosmic]

Yet again making people who choose to FF fell like ****!!! The woman in the article did not chose to FF purely because she didnt like BF, nor did I.
Julie, I'm sorry. I was particularly *annoyed* by the author's comments that she was bored with sitting on a couch, that she couldn't make a phone call, that her partner might think she was less attractive because of her big boozies and because she's not as 'interesting' anymore now that she's not a high-powered journalist but a breastfeeding mother. Those, to me, are not good reasons to deprive a child of the health benefits of breastfeeding.

I wasn't attacking FF mothers on the whole.

[rynosmum]

Let's please keep on topic in reference to the OP's article.

If this thread leads into personal attacks or disrespect, it will be closed.

[Lil X-men]

It's ok Cosmic :thumbsup: Sorry, me being overly sensitive again probably.
Just get that way as it was a huge battle for me to give up BF and hate feeling like I didn't give it my all.
I can totally relate to the article, tho not to the part about not feeling special because I was not a high powered journalist, I never had feelings like that.

[Lunar]

poor lady I feel her pain completely.
That rebuttle at the bottom saying FF mums can't be bothered trying to BF infuriates me, I tried harder than you can ever imagine. I wish people wouldn't judge others when they haven't been in their shoes to know what their experience was like!!

Oh so true!!!

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes and then judge wether or not they tried 'hard' enough.

[mich71]

OMG girls what happened to freedom of choice bf is not for everyone and it can be very difficult even with support and when other factors are involed such as pnd or even stress bf is not for everyone and they should be supported no matter what choice they make not felt sorry for or even have been made to feel like there less of a mother because of there choice

[MamaSage]

I hear you, I agree with freedom of choice. BUT we are lucky to live in such a 'liberated' age when there are alternatives to what is natural and best for babies. How much more liberated from motherhood do we need to be?





(totally ducks and runs)

[Goosie22]

Well,

I wont be putting it anywhere else.

I didnt like it at all, While I agree the woman could probably have done with more support, it seems to me that she is blaming breastfeeding and the baby for her not liking the choice she made to become a mother. But there is no return policy.

Becoming a mother is a big transition, you have to prepare and make sarcrifices for the better of a new life, your life will not go on as before. I think she had very unrealistic expectations of life after a baby arrives.

I liked the comment at the bottom of the article the best out of the entire article.

:wave: Sorry Queenie,Seekrit and anyone else who choked on your food when first reading this article.

[MamaSage]

Well said. A lot more eloquent than I was too, lol! :ecomcity:

[Frazzled]

Becoming a mother is a big transition, you have to prepare and make sarcrificed for the better of a new life, your life will not go on as before. I think she had very unrealistic expectations of life after a baby arrives.



Don't you think we all have very unrealistic expectations of life after the baby arrives? I mean I read every book and filled myself with knowledge and spoke to many experienced mothers and I still could never have expected to feel all the things or experience all the things I do now. When my mother told me that I probably wouldn't get out of my pyjamas or the house for the first couple of months, I htought to myslef "I will be more competent than that". Well - lordy loo - she was right AGAIN!

I had many false expectations about all facets of motherhood, including breastfeeding. No matter how many times someone whines at you "Oh your life will never be the same"... nothing ever prepares you and you never realise until the little miracles are here!

[Lil X-men]

I second that KateP

[*Chels*]

I did think that she had unrealistic expectations of motherhood.
To hate breastfeeding coz it takes up too much time,or makes your boobies engorged-HELLO!!??!No sh*t!
Babies are needy-what did you expect?

[Goosie22]

I think its different to have false expectations, but then blame the baby is immature and selfish. Most people reassess their expectations pretty quick when baby comes along.

Somethings in life are hard work, most of the time they are the things that count the most.

[SilverStarfish]

I wonder what she thought it was going to be like too. It sounds like she has many more problems/issues than just having a really awful experience breastfeeding.

She says she was stuck on the couch all day... who the heck hasn't been? You can't (or rather, shouldn't!) be dancing a tango when you are bottle feeding anyway.

I have come to see breastfeeding as a good "excuse" to just sit down and ignore the washing and dishes etc for a while!! Load up the dvd player if you don't want to watch "housewife tv", phone a friend, file your nails, trawl through the latest posts on bubhub... oh, wait. Sorry, that's me :laughing:

I have serious issues with giving 3 week old babies eggs too (esp if you live in Europe! Salmonella... oh don't get me started...) and weaning them so soon, but that's a whole other thread.

[ShadyCharacter]

I wonder where the babies freedom of choice comes into all this? :no:

[MamaSage]

Very, very good.

[Goosie22]

[Removed reference to deleted post] The conversation is regarding how little the woman in the article is taking responsiblity for her choices.

If she found Breastfeeding boaring then thats her problem (not being able to look beyond the now), nobody can make it riviting for her. Its her head space, her problem. Dosnt change the fact that Breastfeeding your baby will enhance its life.

[Kirstlea]

Well Goosie - my thoughts :)

I must say that I enjoyed reading her article, I thought it was quite funny and could relate to alot of her comments.

Some of her comments like finding it boring to BF is something I can relate to at the beginning of motherhood.

When you are a very motivated person who goes a hundred miles an hour through life it is a major shock to the system to have to just stop and sit still. I felt exactly the same and it took me a few months to mentaly adjust to slowing down my life for our beautiful dd, but slow down I did and no I didn't give up breastfeeding, but I can guarantee alot of women would feel this way in the first few weeks of motherhood and no amount of reading books or being told by other mothers about how you will feel once baby is born will prepare you for the real world of motherhood.

I never used to cry much, now I cry at a soppy ad on TV, or my dd smiling at me, its pathetic but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being a mother but in all honesty it took a few months for me to mentally adjust.

I applaud this Tessie for being so open and honest about how she felt, I think its a shame that people who replied on the daily mail feedback have to find the negatives in her story instead of the positives.

Thanks for sharing such an interesting story Goosie.

Kirsten:D

[rynosmum]

I moved this thread last night from 'Celebrating Breastfeeding' as the article and ensuing discussion did not warrant posting in that area.

Further to my warning from last night, this thread will now be closed. Thanks for those who had valid contributions on the article.