do you think the school is over-reacting

[mumtobenumber3]

:banghead: I spent the first half of my day in the schools guidance officer's office discussing my 7 year olds behaviour at school. He has been getting a little rough with other boys in the playground and situations have been getting out of hand. No bloody noses or anything like that just uncontrollable anger that is created and they wrestle each other. They suspended my boy for this (and only him because he confessed to things the others didn't) they now have him in counselling and on shadow duty every lunch time for the rest of the term. I know I could sound like a over defending mother but has it got to the point that instead of putting children on detention for say a week gone out the window??
He really is a good soul, his teacher, art teacher, gymnastics instructors adore him. How can such a bad child who obviously needs intervention (tongue firmly wedged in cheek) be liked by so many???

[Ana Gram]

If they have gone straight for suspension on only one child involoved, then yes I think that is an overreaction. had anything happened in the lead up to this?

[Mamaduke]

Schools these days do not tolerate bullying &/or aggressive behaviour...and neither should they. Everyone's child has a right to feel safe at school and every parent should feel secure in the knowledge that schools now have a zero tolerance policy towards aggressive behaviour and bullying. I would actually be worried to send my child to a school that would only intervene after there were 'bloody noses'.
Maybe by suspending him it will force him to reassess his behaviour in the schoolyard, whether that be as an instigator or retaliator.
Imagine if you were the parent of a child who was being bullied?
You would insist that something be done and that the behaviour was dealt with immediately.
I would commend the school on their proactive approach.

[sam's mum]

My daughter has asperger's and this has resulted in a lot of inappropriate reactions in the school yard. She has pretty much always been universally adored by her teachers and so on. I have even had teachers tell me how hard it is to discipline her because of how much they like her. Unfortunately getting along with adults and being liked by them is no guarantee that kids will get along with each other.

As to a suspension - my daughter has been suspended twice. Neither time was it after a first incident. She had numerous warnings, detentions and in office suspensions before it went to an at home suspension. Speak to the school again and find out if there is any reason they have come down so hard. Are they setting an example to the others, or have there been other problems that they have not mentioned.

[tanni_83]

Maybe by suspending him it will force him to reassess his behaviour in the schoolyard.

He is 7. He wasnt the only one involved, but the only one to admit what he was doing. Suspending a 7 yr old is a holiday, not punishment!!

[Kells]

As the mother of a 5 year old who is bullied by 7 year olds at school, I think it is a good thing that the school is doing something about the behaviour. I dread every day what my son will tell me happened at lunch time, and apparently these kids get sent to the office, detention etc, only to do it again.

I would love to be told that these kids weren't going to be there for a few days and know my boy was safe. (emotionally, more than physically - the teachers stop the physical side, but my son wont even go on to the oval cos the 'big kids' wont 'let' him and tease him if he does). It is a big worry for me, and something that I cant really resolve for him.

As previously said though, a 7 year old is not going to care about missing out on school, maybe some other form of punishment would have been better....

Maybe they suspend so the parents have more of an idea how serious it is. But I would definitely be asking the principal about the other kids that haven't owned up, and what is going to be done about them.

Good luck!! Dont you just sometimes wish we could put ourselves in their pockets or something to see what really happens when they're away from us!! ;)

[sam's mum]

Suspending a 7 yr old is a holiday, not punishment!!

I tried that argument on the school, and they told me that it gives the teacher and the other kids a break.

[NZMama]

Maybe they suspend so the parents have more of an idea how serious it is. But I would definitely be asking the principal about the other kids that haven't owned up, and what is going to be done about them.

Good luck!! Dont you just sometimes wish we could put ourselves in their pockets or something to see what really happens when they're away from us!! ;)

I agree I would be asking why my child is being made an example of when the others also involved are not.
However maybe the suspension is meant to be a wake up call for you, I know it would be for me. Sometimes children are completely different people when around only their peers and away from mummy & daddy.
I agree about the zero tolerance on bullying and not wanting blood on the playground before it is acknowledged. I worry about my daughter because she can be very sensitive, but she tells me everything which is a relief.
I think suspended a child of any age should be somewhat of a last resort though. Its not going to fix the problem so I cant see the point, if only to give teachers a rest.
I remember my younger brother being suspended for a week (or stood down as they liked to call it) my dad is a teacher at another school and he made my brother get up put his uniform on and complete his school work in dads class, no holiday there....he was 14 though.

[mumtobenumber3]

I agree with everyone's reply, bullying in the school yard should not be tolerated and I don't like it when my son is bullied either. I have spent more hours since my original post in the company of the school principal. It seems to be that my son isn't considered a "bully" as such. In fact I was told to go home and tell him that the principal was very pleased with hs behaviour of late since the suspension (probably because it was out of his normal behaviour). The point i was making more so with my post is the fact that he was the only one suspended for an incident that involved three boys and the fact that he was the only honest one.
I have learnt a lot about how things in the school yard work since this began. I had a mother come up to me as she was concerned for my son because her own son had told her that a couple of children (one in particular) were blaming things on him that were not true or his fault. It is a more incidious form of bullying I think. She was good enough to tell the school principal about this (perhaps thats why he thinks my sons behaviour is better, now that he has a different opinion)
Who Knows!!!!
Thank you for the replies :)

[mich71]

did you know that ed department has a special team that goes into the school and obsevers the kids you can request this through your school liason officer hope this helps

[mumtobenumber3]

Yes thanks Mich71. The school guidance counsellor will be doing observations of my son. My husband doesn't agree that he should be getting counselling but once I explained to him that at least there will be a more realistic point of view coming into the mix then maybe the school will start seeing what is actually happening. Many days have come and gone when my son has been kicked, pushed, punched and because he won't go running to a teacher everytime, in his case nothing gets done.
I just know that when I left my session with the counsellor she was looking perplexed as to why he even needed counselling.
I know this is a saga with many more episodes to come.
But hopefully not.