How do I get a c-section?? [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

Aaliyahsmummy

28-04-2010, 17:56

Well, I need a little bit of advice on how to go about making things work the way I want:

I am now 28 weeks pregnant. I brought up the fact I would prefer a c-section at my first couple of ob appts, and everytime he said either it was something to discuss later, or that he thinks its a bad idea and that I should have a vaginal birth, but would discuss it more after I had seen a psychologist who specializes in pregnant.

I have been seeing the psychologist, she thinks I should have the baby in the way I would be happiest and most comfortable with.

I had another ob's appt today, again I said I am wanting a c-section, and I was told not to worry, my baby is very small (as we expected due to me and dh being small) and I will be fine, and he will help me have the baby vaginally.

I have considered having a 'natural' birth, and I have decided I want a c-section for various reasons, I have decided this is what is best for me and my baby.

My problem is I am very non-confrontational, and i'm pretty terrible at explaining myself. I also am worried about offending my ob, because he really is lovely and fantastic, and I understand he believes because I suffer from anxiety I am irrationally scared about the pain of birth (which is not all that correct)

so.....what can I do/say to make sure I have a c-section??

**sorry this has turned into a bit of a vent, it has been playing on my mind a lot, and is just causing me a lot of stress, feels nice to get it all out**

Thanks in advance:sunshine:

Theophania

28-04-2010, 18:34

Are you a private or public patient?

I don't see why you would have any issues getting an elective cesarean in a private hospy, although I think it is much harder in a public hospital because tbh it costs them a lot more to do cesareans and they struggle to meet demand iykwim.

If you really want the cesarean then simply tell you ob that....

Sorry I just also had to add that if it is pain you are scared of, you could always try natural and have an epi asap.... Just saying as I know the pain of healing from a cesarean etc was far worse than the labor I went through :yes:

Good luck with the safe delivery of your bub.

RmumR

28-04-2010, 18:45

if you have already seen the psych as he suggested then perhaps the psych can help.
otherwise if you find it hard to be confrontational can you take your partner or your mum or someone to your next appointment to help explain the situation - someone who won't just let him brush over the issue - make sure it all gets worked out cause sounds like its stressing you out.

headoverfeet

28-04-2010, 18:56

I don't have any advice, just :thumbsdown: that your not getting the kind of care you want :hugs:

Aaliyahsmummy

28-04-2010, 19:16

Thanks every one for your advice!

Theo: I am private, so yup I don't understand either:p I think I just managed to get a ob who is really against c-sections!
It's also not that I'm scared of the pain of natural, that is just what my ob assumes. (obviously I am scared a bit, but would be scared either way if that makes sense) :)

Thanks for your advice everyone. Makes me feel a bit better about everything! I have the rest of my appts booked in so perhaps taking dh next time might be a good idea. Seeing my psychologist on Friday so will talk to her!

Thanks again!!!

Guest

28-04-2010, 19:26

Can I ask your reasons for a c/s? I suffer from anxiety, so thought I'd ask if it has anything to do with that and maybe I can help you out in my experience during labour and my anxiety.
I had one of those ob's who wouldn't let me have an elective, absolutely refused actually. But if it's something your absolutely sure about, just keep demanding it and let him know your physc recommends it for your own mental health and happiness. Maybe she can write a letter?

fludo

28-04-2010, 21:28

I have also suffered from anxiety for a good portion of my life, but consider myself mostly recovered now, except for the occasional set back.

Can I ask what it is about labour that worries you, if not the pain? Is it the uncertainty of it all? Throughout my pregnancy I was worried I might have to have a c/s because I don't like medical procedures so didn't want drips and epidurals and thought I would freak out during the op. In the end I did end up having an emergency c/s, and it was all fine, it all happens so fast and you're just happy to see bub and for it all to over!

You should definitely be able to get the type of birth you want. I'd get your psychologist to write up something to say they support your decision on psychological grounds.

Aaliyahsmummy

28-04-2010, 21:44

Redmini: Thakyou!! I'm so sorry that you have had to go through so much trouble, but glad you got there in the end! Nice to have a positive story to focus on:D Good luck for your c-section!!!!:hugs:

Mybabyleo and Fludo: It's not necessarily because of the anxiety, my ob has unfortunately made that conclusion, I think because I haven't been able to explain myself that well he has just decided I am scared of the pain? He always says ah don't worry your baby is going to be very small and we can give you and epi if you want, so don't worry about the pain......of course I'm worried about the pain, but thats not the main issue:o It's very hard to explain properly and requires a lot of detail and time, and comfort.....My particular issues are something I find talking about to be very difficult.

Teegzie

28-04-2010, 22:25

Maybe you could try writing down your reasons for wanting a CS, even if it ends up being as long as a book, and give it to your OB. That way you he can take his time to really get to know your reasoning and then at your next appointment it might be easier to discuss. It might not feel as confrontational if you simply hand him your letter and say something like "I'm finding it hard to explain myself clearly so I would really appreciate it if you took the time to read this and we can discuss it next time"

I also think taking someone in who is supportive of your choice is a good idea, as was previously mentioned. Then if you feel like you can't voice your preferences for whatever reason they can advocate for you.

Pinkzy

28-04-2010, 23:28

Hi sweetie and congrats on your pregnancy :) :hugs:

First of all, I too suffer from anxiety as well as panic disorder...lots of fun during pregnancy and birth let me tell ya :laughing:. From what you've said, it's obvious you know what's best for you and your bub and that you're confident and sure about your decision - so therefore - that decision *IS* what's best for you.

I too am quite non-confrontational but when it comes to this, you must be. This is your body, your baby and your birth. My suggestion would be to get your psychologyst to write your ob a letter. This way, you can tell her what you need to say (as in the birth you want, the reasons behind it and the reasons why you felt too uncomfortable to bring it up with the ob again). Taking this letter to your ob yourself or having your psych send it to him would both be good options I think.

I had a c-section 2 months ago because I hated the vaginal birth I had 8 years ago with my daughter. I would never, ever go through a vaginal birth again but I can honestly say I would go through a c-section again.

It is your RIGHT to have the birth you want and the fact you have a doctor (psychologist) who agrees with this should prove to your ob that a c-section in your case is what is best. Good luck :hugs:

Sadaussiemum

28-04-2010, 23:38

Ashlee87 I feel maybe u should Be considering telling ur ob if he will not do as u feel is right then u might find another. It's ur birth ur baby and should do what u feel is best. I had a weird time when I was close to birth I was not worried about the pain but more of the mount of people that would be touching me, looking at me due to personal issues from past events in life:( I did push past it however as I had
a great support network and had my ds
naturally. I think taking ur dh would be very helpful because it shouldn't be a stressful time

Sparklydreamer

29-04-2010, 07:47

I think you just have to be firm and assertive with your ob. Try and swallow any nervousness (pretending you're acting if need be) and tell him matter of factly that you've thought it through, you understand why he wants you to have a VB, but you've decided (and your psych supports you) that a c-section is the right option for you. Say that you aren't comfortable discussing the reasoning with him as its due to a very personal matter. And you want to know how to go about organising it.

I had to go against my obs advice with an issue in my last pregnancy and I found the best way was to seem confident in my decision (faked or not). If you seem too nervous then it can appear as though you aren't sure and can be swayed or you may not be taken so seriously. If you state it as not being open to change then its more likely to be accepted. That's just in my experience. :)

Good luck.

sazzoid

29-04-2010, 12:03

hun.. i say get your psych to write a letter to your ob THEY recommend a csection would be the most beneficial as that is what YOU are comfortable with. they wanted you to see the psych, you've seen them, they agree with you.. get it in writing and give it to your ob. that way he shouldn't be able to argue with you.

definitely take a support person with you who can fight for you. it must be so hard when you're non confrontational

fludo

29-04-2010, 19:52

Just another thought.....I don't know you or your situation, but thinking back to when I was at my worst, I would do anything to avoid what I was afraid of, but in doing so, I only dug a deeper hole for myself. Maybe you should consider talking to your psychologist about ways to prepare yourself for a vaginal birth, even if you're not sure, just see what that would involve in therapy. Remember, I know anxiety attacks are awful, but they are just adrenalin and your mind, they can not hurt you. There are so many benefits to vaginal birth, I think it's worth investigating that idea. And imagine how empowered you would feel coming out the other end of it!

PS. I'm absolutely NOT against cs - had an emergency with my first, and having an elective with the next, (but not out of fear:D)

kas3

29-04-2010, 22:00

I can appreciate what ppl have been saying about the pain aspect not being the top reason for why they don't want a vb. That was not a huge consideration for me either - I guess I always figured drugs would help me there if I needed it. The big thing for me has always been fear of the damage that a vb can cause. I knew I could emotionally cope with the aftermath of surgery, but not a bad tear/episiotomy or incontinence etc. Probably sounds weird to some, but it's how I feel.

Aaliyahsmummy

29-04-2010, 23:16

Thank you so much for your advice everyone!! Has been very helpful.

I spoke to Dh tonight, after I made him understand how important the subject was (until now, he has been a bit unhelpful) he helped me write down how I feel and exactly what I want and why.

I have a appt with my psychologist tomorrow morning, so I will take it to her....much easier to get how I feel across when its in writing.

From there, dh will come to my next appt with my ob, so he can be my voice on the topic. He said he won't give up until things are exactly how I need, and if my current ob still proves to push the natural agenda, he will find someone else. I'm feeling much better now that I know he is 100% on my side, and willing to work towards what I need.

Thanks Again for your advice and kind words everyone:hugs:

headoverfeet

29-04-2010, 23:24

I'm glad you were able to get your hubby on board :hugs: you 'sound' happier yeah?

Aaliyahsmummy

02-05-2010, 20:15

Hi everyone, just a quick update!

My psychologist was really supportive, she said the most important thing is for me to be happy about the way baby comes into this world.

She reccomended I take hubby to my next Ob appt, and talk to him about it in greater detail, however has written me a letter saying in her opinion the best thing for my mental health would be to have a c-section.

Feeling much happier and less stressed about the whole situation now:D

Will pop back in after my next Ob's appt to let you know how I go. Thanks again for your support:flowerz:

headoverfeet

02-05-2010, 20:18

:goodvibes:

Pinkzy

02-05-2010, 22:55

Excellent :hugs: :) So glad you have the support you need. I am sure your ob will see this is the best thing for you.

Aaliyahsmummy

12-05-2010, 17:00

:smiliedance::smiliedance:
I had my ob appt this morning! It went so so well, hubby explained the issues and what I wanted, ob said that was fine, and he was happy to book me in for a c-section.

He then went over the procedure and the risks, made sure I was still happy to go ahead with it and then booked me in:D

Feeling so relieved now, thanks everyone for your advice and support:cloud9:

kas3

12-05-2010, 20:50

That's great Ashlee. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy :)

overitand36

16-06-2010, 13:02

I can tell you that a c-section is by far a whole lot worse than a natural birth. You are young and should recover quickly, but my experiences have me wondering why on earth any woman would "choose" to undergo surgery.

I'm also not happy about not being able to drive for six weeks! :no:

A c/s birth is just like any other, not ALL are far worse a lot of us recover very fast. Many so called "naturals" cause worse pain than any c/s.

You can drive if you are up to it.

Best of luck c/s is not something you should need to fight for.

Annabella

16-06-2010, 13:12

I personally think people should have to fight for a c/s if they 'want' one, they cost a lot of money, there are risks involved, and if people just had them coz they wanted them it would place a huge burden on our health system.

HOWEVER, OP I'm glad you got what you were hoping for, I do believe if there are health or mental health issues involved, its worth being assertive and fighting for what you want. Best of luck with the birth and your new little bundle :)

sazzoid

16-06-2010, 13:14

babyjoy not everyone recoveries the way you did.
i was up the next day and visitors had no idea i'd had a section.
i think the poster needs support and there are lots of reasons why someone would "choose to undergo surgery" as you put it. personally i think it's a calm way to birth for those who cannot for various reasons try vaginally, or choose not to. She is young, so she will bounce back quickly.

and the whole driving for 6 weeks? it's more like when you can press the pedals down with no pain. i started driving again after 3 weeks, i know someone who drove after 2 weeks.

overitand36

16-06-2010, 13:24

I personally think people should have to fight for a c/s if they 'want' one, they cost a lot of money, there are risks involved, and if people just had them coz they wanted them it would place a huge burden on our health system.

All births costs money, its called choice everyone has the right to choose the birth they want money should have nothing to do with it most of us have health insurance and private OB's we pay for it.

Imagine if we stopped people who wanted home births or other options what an uproar that would cause yet us who want c/s need to have some sort of mental health reason.
NO THANKS

Annabella

16-06-2010, 13:38

All births costs money, its called choice everyone has the right to choose the birth they want money should have nothing to do with it most of us have health insurance and private OB's we pay for it.

Imagine if we stopped people who wanted home births or other options what an uproar that would cause yet us who want c/s need to have some sort of mental health reason.
NO THANKS

I'm not trying to argue, and I'm not saying people shouldn't be allowed choice at all, I'm saying that I believe people shouldn't be able to waltz into a hospital demanding a c/s. Our bodies are designed to vaginally birth a baby, and if people really feel they can't do it that way then the option is there for them to fight for the birth they want. I am not against c/s, I think in many many cases it saves lives, and in cases like the one the OP is describing, people's sanity (so to speak). I was barracking for the OP to get the birth she wanted too. I just hate this idea that we can have what we want, when we want it, coz its our 'right'. Its not how the world works.

Oh and c/s cost A LOT more than a vaginal birth, and I don't see much uproar about the currant state of homebirthing in Australia.

Aaliyahsmummy

16-06-2010, 13:44

Baby Joy- You know nothing about me, or my reasons for needing a c-section.

Your experiences may leave you wondering why anyone would choose a c-section over a vaginal birth, but just because it was better for you to have your baby vaginally doesn't mean thats whats best for everyone.

I find your post very judgmental and considering this is the ELECTIVE C-SECTION section for POSITIVE C-SECTION experiences its really not needed.

and fyi, your Ob may have recommended waiting 6 weeks before driving, my ob has said I should be back driving in around 2 weeks, as long as I can stamp my foot.

BabyJoy

16-06-2010, 17:15

kas3

16-06-2010, 20:14

The problem with the whole idea of making someone 'fight' for a c/s, is that if you're after one for psychological reasons - like depression/anxiety - you are probably not 'up' to actually fighting for one. Frankly, I was relieved when my ob agreed so readily to a c/s. In retrospect, I think he should have recommended I speak to the hospital psychologist so I could have made 'peace' with my choice, but the c/s itself was the right thing for me. I have a dear friend whose son was born the day after mine, and she has been in worse pain with the aftermath of her vb (three surgeries in 18 months) than I was. Pain is so individual. I'm sure a straightforward vb is much easier to recover from than a c/s, but there's no guarantees that it will be straightforward.

Hootenanny

16-06-2010, 20:31

I'm not getting into the you should or you shouldn't as you obviously have your own reasons for your decision but wanted to comment on a few things

and fyi, your Ob may have recommended waiting 6 weeks before driving, my ob has said I should be back driving in around 2 weeks, as long as I can stamp my foot.

You might want to check with your insurance company about that as some have a 6 week waiting period after abdominal surgery etc.
And to Kaz3's comment that there are no guarantees with a VB, unfortunately there are no guarantees with a CS either. I hope you end up with the best outcome.

kas3

17-06-2010, 00:04

That's true luvmyboys - there are no guarantees with birth, regardless of what form it takes. I guess the best thing is for you to choose what is best for you, based on your own individual circumstances. And even if you do get to choose what you want/need, there's no guarantee that you'll be 100% happy with that either.

Peajae

17-06-2010, 09:54

I'm glad you found the care and support you wanted, but having just experienced my first caesarean (due to breech baby) after having my first child vaginally, I can tell you that a c-section is by far a whole lot worse than a natural birth. You are young and should recover quickly, but my experiences have me wondering why on earth any woman would "choose" to undergo surgery. :confused:
My baby is now almost six days old and I am still in pain, and having a lot of trouble walking around. I'm also not happy about not being able to drive for six weeks! :no:

Okay, really trying not to be argumentative here, but you're wondering why any woman would 'choose' to undergo surgery, when you're in pain only 6 days after your bub was born by CS and you're having trouble walking?

Try imagining what it's like to go through a traumatic vaginal birth with extensive tearing leaving you in excrutiating pain not for 6 days but for months after the birth, unable to walk or sit properly, unable to drive, not because you're not allowed but because it's physically too painful, unable to even leave the house for 2 weeks because it is too painful to move that much, and to have to have surgery when your baby is 5 months old to correct all the damage done by the delivery.

And my story is mild compared to the trauma suffered by many other women on bubhub.

Please be aware that your comments can be very offensive to women who have suffered birth trauma.

Peajae

17-06-2010, 09:55

overitand36

17-06-2010, 13:26

You might want to check with your insurance company about that as some have a 6 week waiting period after abdominal surgery etc.

Just with the whole insurance thing how would they know unless you told them you had surgery, life needs to go on and for most of us we need to drive. What happens with v/b problems no insurance co issues then.

Also glad I am not the only one that finds others comments very judgmental , women needing to fight for a birth choice is really a step back into the dark ages. Do we need to also start fighting for pain relief etc and justifying our choices.

kas3

17-06-2010, 15:28

Can't remember where I read this, but it was from an ob who is very much pro-vb... he was talking about the increasing c/s rate in Australia... he felt that the way to bring the c/s rate down, was NOT to deny c/s to women who want them (for whatever reason), but to empower women who want to vb and give them every possible opportunity to deliver vaginally (enough time, avoid intervention etc.). I couldn't agree more, just wish I could remember where I read it and the ob's name lol. We need to increase our choices not limit them.

River Song

17-06-2010, 15:38

Just with the whole insurance thing how would they know unless you told them you had surgery, life needs to go on and for most of us we need to drive. What happens with v/b problems no insurance co issues then..

if you have an accident you won't be covered

if you claim but don't declare...that is fraud

overitand36

17-06-2010, 16:11

if you have an accident you won't be covered

if you claim but don't declare...that is fraud

Nevermind that you maybe perfectly fine to drive and not take 6 weeks to recover, 6 weeks is just ridiculous who is meant to be our taxi service.

Just rang 2 insurance co never heard of such a thing as not being covered, has anyone actually had this happen.

Aaliyahsmummy

17-06-2010, 16:15

second time mumma

17-06-2010, 16:21

I checked with my insurance company and they are happy as long as my ob us happy 1 week or 6 months doesn't bother them either way. Not that I personally plan on driving, I hate driving and will be happy to be driven around :)

I was just coming on to say the same thing. When I had my DD i rang my insurance company to see what their policy was and was told that as long as my OB had cleared me to drive that was good enough for them.

I dont know of anyone who has actually been made to wait 6 weeks by their insurer (that's not to say that it hasnt happened, I just mean that *I* personally have never heard of anyone having to wait 6 weeks).

MyCheekyMonkey

17-06-2010, 21:50

My insurer (AAMI) are they same, as long as I am fit to drive I could drive whenever.

I was happy to be driven around too, I told DH I wasn't allowed to drive for 6 weeks so ge did all the driving and ran all the errands, lol!

overitand36

17-06-2010, 21:52

sounds like this whole insurance thing is a thing of the past :yelclap:

Guest

17-06-2010, 22:00

From my experience with insurance companies, what someone says on the phone and what they do are 2 different things. If they have a policy to wait after surgery with written approval by your surgeon for prior consent, then I would get that letter before you drive and let them know. Worst thing is having an accident and them finding a way not to pay, (cause its written in fine print) which can happen.

fludo

18-06-2010, 13:41

I got it in writing from AAMI (through email) that I can drive unless my doctor has advised me not to. So, it seems I can drive myself home from the hospital if my doc doesn't specifically say to me "don't drive home from the hospital after your cs"! (not that I would!:D)

Xtina

21-06-2010, 22:11

Kas- totally agree with your comments.

Ashlee- it's absolutely atrocious that you have had to have any hassles whatsoever in getting your elective c/s- I really feel for you and am angry that your o/b has made what was already a stressful situation for you even more stressful. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly for you- all the best :)

MumaNinja

26-06-2010, 08:41

fludo

27-06-2010, 14:11

Hi ladies..
I have a couple of questions..
Apparently I had placenta previa but wasnt given the option of a c-section, so I had a naturally delivery and out came by son which was a healthy 9'1 (2 reasons there for a c-section). This time around Ive been seriously considering having a c-section. Only problem is Im a public patient. My doctor said they will monitor my progress and if it looks like my baby will be on the larger side and if my placenta is low lying then maybe they will give me one. I thought those 2 reasons were valid enough for opting for an elective c-section.

I'm astounded you weren't offered a c/s the first time! I guess the placenta must have moved up though, because my understanding with placenta preavia is that it's over the cervix so you physically can't birth naturally without haemorraging.

Ive never met anyone that has recently had a c-section. How big is the incision? Does it leave a large scar? Are public patient surgeons which do these more 'rough' ..Private patients which Ive spoken to said their incision was small,minimal scaring etc. After having a big baby the first time Im worried 'downstairs' may also change (selfish?Vain?)

Regarding changes to "downstairs" - I haven't had a vaginal birth, but you have, so ummm....I guess I'm wondering, if things are pretty normal for you after the first, then I wouldn't think it would be worse after a second, unless there were unforeseen circumstances. Maybe someone who's had vb's can help me out here! :o

I had a c/s with DD but I was private - I don't know if there's a difference in outcomes between public and private, but I have to say I feel safer knowing I've chosen my ob - not that I have done any research into their capabilities as a surgeon, so maybe that's just silly for me to feel that way. I tend to think though, if you have your own practice, you'd be more committed to good outcomes from your patients than if you were just working for the hospital. Whether that translates into different outcomes I don't know.

My scar is small and was almost invisible after a year or so.

Sorry I can't be of more help!

Bon4

28-06-2010, 09:47

Hi there, on the topic of things changing "down there" - I haven't had a c/s but I have had four babies vaginally (my third bub was 9lb 9oz, so fairly sizeable) - after four babies the only thing that has changed is the strength of my pelvic floor muscles, naturally they are not as strong as they once were due to four pregnancies, so I have to keep on top of my pelvic floor exercises. My downstairs area really is no different - I mean, I suppose if I really had a good look I would notice changes because I did have stitches a few times, but as far as tightness etc (sorry if TMI) nothing is different. The vagina is basically just a big muscle - it is designed to stretch and then go back to it's original shape, it's quite clever really!

The pelvic floor issue is more related to the actual pregnancies, not the births - 9 months of having a baby putting downward pressure on your pelvic area is naturally going to have an effect, whether you give birth via c/s or vb.

With regard to having a c/s publically - a lot of the obstetricians that work in public hospitals also have their own private practice (at least that is the case at the hospitals near me, not sure about elsewhere), so the quality of care is not any less. In fact, I had an Ob present at three of my births due to different issues and I got the same level of care from a highly qualified Ob that I would have got privately. Of course you do not get to choose your own doctor but you will still get the same level of care. From what I have heard in the past, the only time that an Ob might be a bit "rough" during a c/s is if it is a real emergency and they need to get the baby out ASAP.

Muma Ninja - My SIL was told she had placenta praevia with one of her babies, but as the pregnancy progressed the placenta moved up and out of the way of the cervix - as often happens. She went on to have a natural delivery. She was a public patient also and was told that the general rule is if the placenta is 3 cm or more away from the cervix then it is safe to have a VB. The only time c/s is absolutely indicated is if the placenta is partially or fully covering the cervix - in that case a VB is out of the question.

Aaliyahsmummy

08-07-2010, 23:18

Well I had my c-section on Tuesday, little Aaliyah was born at 8.47 in the morning and is absoulutly perfect :)

I am doing so well, pain is very managable and I just feel better and better as time goes on. My ob was actually shocked that I am feeling so great! And my milk has come in far sooner then they were expecting. So far everyone is extreamly pleased with both my and Aaliyah's progress.

I'm so glad about the way things have turned out, for me, having a c-section was the best decision I made, I honestly don't think I would be doing so well mentally if I had not had a c-section.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just so so happy and proud of myself and wanted to share my story!

Thank you all for your support in getting me here as well ( I would insert a hugs smiley, but on my phone so I don't know how!!)