View Full Version : Is your house ALWAYS crazy/hectic/out of control?
My house always feels out of control. I'm losing it! Seriously.
I can not move through the house without tripping over a child who is complaining about something, or wanting something, or crying about something or demanding something.
I can't eat my breakfast/lunch/dinner without indigestion because mealtimes are so manic. Even if I think I 'think ahead' and make the kids their dinner first, as soon as DH and I sit down to eat... they're back in the kitchen again, wanting something or throwing a tantrum about something.
And this is the 5yr olds, not the babies..
And lately O and J are being so rude to us! And bullies. I feel like I'm a slave to these ungrateful, rude, 5yr olds.
It's so f****ng BUSY all the time! I'm not exaggerating.... ALL THE TIME. They do not play! They do not use their imagination at all, they do not play. They just bug us bug us bug us bug us all day long. DH and I cannot have a conversation.
It's sending us mad...
PLEASE HELP!! I need pointers!
sounds like my place but we only have the two boys :o. the best way to get them to be quiet is to load them up in the car and take them to the beach or park....which coud be a nightmare with 4 kids, I'm guessing. in my experience, they get annoying when they are bored but you can't be a clown and entertain them all day either. its a hard and exhausting situation to be in :hugs::hugs:
i will be watchign this thread for some ideas :D
faroutbrusselsprout
26-04-2010, 14:56
I couldn't read and not resepnd.:hugs:
I think you are amazing. I would love to have more kids but I freak out with two! Seriously.
I have a 'just turned 6 yr old' and I really think it's the age, he is HARD work and so hard to love somedays.
It was his birthday last week so he is so busy playing with all his new things. It's bluddy great!
How are they with 'activities'? could you set with up something...?
crazymuma
26-04-2010, 15:03
Hey while I only have 2 kids I do have one suggestion - its the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes.
I have mandatory rest time in my house - you may sleep, read, watch a movie, play toys - anything you want but it last for at least 1 hour and you are to be in your room that whole time. Its works wonders for me and also the kids as they need a little down time every day.
How are they with 'activities'? could you set with up something...?
Awful. :no: They last for about 5 mins and then they're fighting about something to do with the activity, or they're just sick of it, and it's another mess for me to clean up.
I spend 10 mins setting up paint, brushes, paper, water.. yadda yadda yadda... and 5 mins later there's war because G has taken O's paintbrush and J2 has tipped out the water... and then 2 mins later it's all over red rover and they're back in the house wanting food, or TV, or something else to do.
I don't get it! We live on acreage... they have a trampoline, billy carts, bikes galore, trees to climb, rocks and caves to hide in, wood to collect (for the fire), gardens to dig in, hills to roll down, bugs to collect, matchbox cars to race in the dirt, an assortment of different instruments. Blocks, lego, train sets, balls, tennis racquets, grip balls. You name it, they've got it.
But nope. Don't want to do any of that.... :rolleyes:
Hey while I only have 2 kids I do have one suggestion - its the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes.
I have mandatory rest time in my house - you may sleep, read, watch a movie, play toys - anything you want but it last for at least 1 hour and you are to be in your room that whole time. Its works wonders for me and also the kids as they need a little down time every day.
This wouldn't work in our house as all the kids share a room...
and it would just lead to fights and accidents with them jumping off the bunk beds and being rough with each other.
Believe me... I've tried it.
Just me then???
Although. I suppose all others with houses like mine wouldn't actually have the time to post on BH.. :laughing:
I'm only here for risk of hurting someone.. 5 mins peace.
Mum2Mimi
26-04-2010, 16:25
you sound like my poor mum :laughing::hugs: oh gosh we were a bunch of terrors!
could you send them out on a mission/chore/job in the paddock somewhere to get 5mins peace? go collect firewood maybe
*then quickly run around and close and lock all the doors* :p
My boy is a bit like that, CONSTANTLY bugging me to do stuff with him. I seriously can't imagine how you do it, I really admire you :hugs:
Is there anything you can let them do outside that they can just go nuts with?
One day watercolour on big paper, next day they can paint a box, etc? I sometimes have a *little* bit of luck just letting him go mad with messiness.
It must be tough work for you at the moment.:hugs:
I know I'm not in any position to give advice...but can you leave them to sort out their own fights? If someone has taken someone else's paint brush then they can work out what they are going to do about it for themselves.
Perhaps you should think about sending them outside and telling them they are not allowed back in for an hour.:) It'll be good for them, and good for you.
No... but it would be if I had four under six and one on the way!
DS is quite good at amusing himself but as an only child he has to be IKYWIM, whereas O and J have always had a playmate so to speak.
Nothing usefull but I think you are amazing, sometimes when DS is having a meltdown (sensory thing rather than temper tantrum) or doesn't want his nebuliser I wonder how on earth anyone manages with more than one LOL!
DS likes to help me cook, would O & J like helping in the kitchen? Sometimes cooking can be quite soothing.
Sheer Bliss
26-04-2010, 17:53
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and YES!!!! I feel like I live in a mad house! Dinner at my place is contraception for a few friends! When DH is at work over dinner/bath/bed a couple of friends with no kids come over to help. LOL, they mean well, and I AM very gratedful, but.....they get here at 6:30/7pm (can't get here earlier due to work) and the kids are crazy hungry by then. Then when they see me do the whole bath, redress, 3 x nappies then b/f the 2 babies to sleep..... :laughing: the looks on their faces is priceless. They appreciate their single life then.
I figure it's going to be this way for at least a few more years, and I just have to deal with it (and yes, hide out in the shower/on the loo or lock the kids outside to play for their own safety because I feel like I am about to blow a gasket!!) I don't envy having your twins older with the litle kids to look after. One 5yo in the house is bad enough! My DD always stirs up my 3yo, and tries to pick the babies up all the time (on the tiles :hair:) then DS1 tries to take the bub off her....
I have no solutions sorry - but my house it a total madhouse too!
JiminyCricket
26-04-2010, 18:18
.......
I am not qualified to give any sort of advice as sometimes I go mad with ONE. So please don't think I'm trying to be smug or anything. I just think I get what you mean when you say the dreaded work 5 year old. I have one about to turn five, and it's a whole new ball game to the twos.
I just had two ideas which you will probably throw out the window. But......are the twins given any sort of leadership/helping mummy role in regards to their brothers? Maybe if they felt a bit like leaders they would be more willing to behave....Do they have much responsibility?
Also, this is just going by my boy, but he likes to DO stuff. He also doesn't like leaving me alone sometimes. If you live on an acreage, could you take all the kids and go on a 'dinosaur fossils' hunting trip or something? (as in, look for rocks and make out they're fossils:rolleyes:). Those sorts of things have helped me in the past.
Once again, my suggestions are probably ****:laughing:.
twotrunks
26-04-2010, 18:40
Yes, mad house, pretty much all the time. Four kids is insane (as will be five for you I guess!)
I suggest LOCKS on doors :) Lock them outside, or in a (safe) room so they have to entertain themselves, and work out their squabbles themselves. of course, there's always the risk of them really hurting each other, not sure how you get around that. Ours are lucky to go 5 mins without a major fight. But i am trying to ignore them when possible.
Also, we have started the 123 magic discipline program, which is working quite well with our older 2 (9 & 4). We do over-rely on the TV, must stop that :rolleyes:... also we have about 200 mega-blocks so that they cannot fight over them (although they still do!).
I cannot give you any other really good suggestions, at least once a day I wish i hadn't had 4, then i feel awful and apologise to fate or God or whoever is in charge. Its just soooo hard at times.
So :hugs: to you, i have been watching your threads wondering how you will go with 5 as we are not sure yet whether we are done. (sorry complete stranger don't mean to sound creepy!)
Good luck!!!
~BEXTER~
26-04-2010, 18:56
my daughter was like that, until I changed her diet and cut out all crap.
What is your kids diet like?
Since changing Keiaras diet I have noticed that even the smallest bit of junk will set her off the next day.
you sound like my poor mum oh gosh we were a bunch of terrors!
could you send them out on a mission/chore/job in the paddock somewhere to get 5mins peace? go collect firewood maybe
*then quickly run around and close and lock all the doors*
:laughing: Yeah collecting firewood is a good one.. lol although I've used it so many times they now look at me, roll their eyes and point to our overflowing woodshed. Damnit. lol.
Perhaps you should think about sending them outside and telling them they are not allowed back in for an hour. It'll be good for them, and good for you.
Yep. I think this one is fast coming up!
DS likes to help me cook, would O & J like helping in the kitchen? Sometimes cooking can be quite soothing.
O and J loooooooove cooking and we do a fair bit of it. But sometimes it would be nice if they would leave me the blooody hell alone. lmao.. I didn't have 4 of them for nothing! :laughing:
and YES!!!! I feel like I live in a mad house! Dinner at my place is contraception for a few friends! When DH is at work over dinner/bath/bed a couple of friends with no kids come over to help. LOL, they mean well, and I AM very gratedful, but.....they get here at 6:30/7pm (can't get here earlier due to work) and the kids are crazy hungry by then. Then when they see me do the whole bath, redress, 3 x nappies then b/f the 2 babies to sleep..... :laughing: the looks on their faces is priceless. They appreciate their single life then.
I figure it's going to be this way for at least a few more years, and I just have to deal with it (and yes, hide out in the shower/on the loo or lock the kids outside to play for their own safety because I feel like I am about to blow a gasket!!) I don't envy having your twins older with the litle kids to look after. One 5yo in the house is bad enough! My DD always stirs up my 3yo, and tries to pick the babies up all the time (on the tiles :hair:) then DS1 tries to take the bub off her....
I have no solutions sorry - but my house it a total madhouse too!
LMAO... good to know it's not just me.. we can commiserate together. Yep I think I've now got a few permanently childless friends after spending time at our place. Haha... even my Dad avoids coming over!
Yes ours is a mad house all the time !
My stepsons are the ones who make it a mad house, they are really close in age and are all boys and they are rowdy and loud if playing or otherwise they are bashing each other or nagging and whingeing at DP to take them somewhere, even if we hae just come back from teh park.
Getting them some run around time outdoors works well for us and seperating them from each other for some peace each day.
I found with with the older boys they used to hate being in the backyard a few years ago but now that the middle one is 6 he loves it and he entisises the lazy 5 yo to go out there with him.
So give it a year or two and they will probably love being outdoors.
As for the whingeing...i cant help we don't now what to do oursleves.
I think with our older boys they all miss one on one attention.
Boys :rolleyes: They send you crazy!
If you live on an acreage, could you take all the kids and go on a 'dinosaur fossils' hunting trip or something? (as in, look for rocks and make out they're fossils). Those sorts of things have helped me in the past.
.
Not a bad idea Kat.....
Also, we have started the 123 magic discipline program, which is working quite well with our older 2 (9 & 4). We do over-rely on the TV, must stop that :... also we have about 200 mega-blocks so that they cannot fight over them (although they still do!).
I cannot give you any other really good suggestions, at least once a day I wish i hadn't had 4, then i feel awful and apologise to fate or God or whoever is in charge. Its just soooo hard at times.
So :hugs: to you, i have been watching your threads wondering how you will go with 5 as we are not sure yet whether we are done. (sorry complete stranger don't mean to sound creepy!)
Good luck!!!
LOL... same here, over-rely on TV, and wish them away daily, (and then back again... ) They fight alllllll the time, Drives me nuts. I don't think they'd ever 'really' hurt each other deliberately.. Yeah. I read the 1, 2, 3 Magic book a few years ago. Am currently reading "raising your Spirited child" (again... and again) But will have to read 1, 2, 3 magic again too.
Need to get strict! Have to start running this place like a boot camp... Sick of the 5yr olds being the bosses.
melbryan
26-04-2010, 21:26
I have your house and you know what I do??
I wait for DH to come home or I leave early ( 6.30 am) in the morning. I give myself 1 hr to walk to be sane and to excercise it does wonders for me and my mental health. I walk out the door put my ear phones in and am in my own world for 1 hr cause I deserve that as a person and a mum.
I have a 5,3,2,1 yr old and yes I get, I want this, I want that, he took that off me, I am dobbing on you. I have 3 boys and a girl and let me tell you she is just as cheeky as them. The house is trashed by the time I get home but that short recharge allows me to get my head around coming back to the challenge of caring for them for the rest of the day.
I lock cupboard doors, when they are tired they get feraller so I make them sleep too not the older ones I kick them outside while I get my housework done. They get their snacks but we have ruels about being in the kitchen and not finishing the food they have. WE have a kitchen closed sign they get reminded about all the time.
It is hard it will get easier I make them help me too even though I have to ask them over and over again.
ANd I love bedtime 7 pm I look forward to this time every night. Mine all have their own room which makes my life alot easier.
You know MelB. I really have to do that (get some time out for myself) I've completely relegated myself to the backburner... and it's not good for any of us.
I love the 'kitchen closed' sign idea. Will make one tomorrow! I am sooooo tired of everytime I even walk past the kitchen I hear "I'm hungry" "can I have...?"
Um, no. You had lunch 30mins ago... if you chose not to eat it, that's your choice. If you're really hungry you can have some fruit. Knock yourself out
" I don't want that" :banghead:
It's manic. I love my 7pm bedtimes too :goodvibes:
melbryan
26-04-2010, 21:47
Ha ha ha we made some sandwiches last monday night for preschool and school Dh ( made them and left their bags all near the door). WRONG MOVE. Ds3 got up and ate everyones lunch damn we had no bread left. Everyone got saos for lunch.
I am sure you have days like this. I get us out of the house once a week so they can learn to act normally in public we may go to the shopping centre have a donut( it's a bribe the whole time) and play in the play area. If they muck up we go home. My 5 yr old is the hardest work out of any of the kids. He whinges and today he couldn't find his sock so it was ALL on. Put your things away and then you might find them. DOn't l;eave thigns lying around the house and you might not lose them I really have run out of any sympathy for him he drives me in sane.
This is a tricky move when they are all driving you insame turn the clocks forward 7 pm comes round alot quicker so does bathtime it's awsome I can muy myself an extra hour before my bed time.
Don't forget to cut yourself a break I do and it works wonders for me Dh gets to go to the footy on his own I go out for scrapbooking. God I love me time it's usually when they are sleeping though.
People come to my house and go man this house is too much and leave I wonder what they think it really is mayhem at dinner, bath and bed.
My mum had six kids, it might not be very helpful but she no longer responds to "Mum" lol.
If we were fighting (about 90% of the time) she would ignore us or laugh and keep doing what she was doing. eventually we would crack a tantrum then go off and play. we were told to ignore whoever was annoying us too.
i hope things calm down for you soon.
Emsmum85
27-04-2010, 08:08
This is just from what I've read..............they are bored as buggery from each other!! They're all in the same house, in the same room! They never get away from each other. I'd go spazzo if I never got to be apart from the same people as well and I'm 25!
FiveInTheBed
27-04-2010, 08:31
simple answer...yes!
werdxela
27-04-2010, 09:25
Yep and I only have 3 (with no.4 on the way). Nearly 2 months ago I snapped over the constant fighting over the TV so I took it away. No more fights over that. Got sick of them running and screaming through the house so I threw them outside and told them to sort their own fights out or get stuck in separate rooms till they can get along (because the boys share a room it means one ends up in the bedroom and the other ends up in the bathroom). It helps that the younger 2 play well together but my 10yr old is bossy, mean and wants everything his way, so when he starts to bully I send him to his room to read and leave the other two outside or if they want to play inside I send him out to read in the hammock. It not always perfect but it is helping save my sanity.
Yep crazy in this house too. My 10yr old DS and 8 yr old DS love to chase the little ones around and wind them up into a frenzy :hair: I get the constant I'm hungry too and yes we rely on the TV too much. I just keep thinking it will soon pass :rolleyes: yeah and then it will be something else. You are definitely not alone.
You really ought to try and find something for yourself and a little time, it's taken me 11yrs to realise that I can't keep giving everything of myself to everyone else because now I don't know who I am anymore. I have started horse riding lessons just once a week but it's 1 hour for me doing something I've always wanted to do and I'm loving it although it's also killing me my legs ache like hell lol.
Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. We don't all have perfect kids that do everything they are told and everything is peaceful. :)
I luff school days. :laughing:
No....there are times where I'll stand still and shout untill I have the kids attention and get them to clean up their mess. But if it where like that all the time, I think I would have packed my bags and walked out!
I seriously cannot handle crazy/hetic/out of control :hair:
I am sooo loving having 3 kids in school and only 1 at home now. It gives me the space I need to tidy up, clear my head and re-energize:)
my suggestion sounds a bit harsh but its with the best intention....
i say lock them outside for an hour or two:devil6: obviously only good if your yard is safe and u can supervise from the windows. give them some shovels or something and tell them to dig the biggest hole they can. give them some work shirts, pack them lunch boxes. like little tradies :laughing:
good luck:hugs: and yes my house is a total nuthouse and theres only 3 of them. and im lucky that my house is big enough for them to go away from us but they never do:hair:
i luff school days too:cloud9:
We have a crazy house! its the twins here that run riot, thought now that they are almost 9, it would have settled a bit..
got any old appliances that they can pull to pieces lol, my twins love to pull apart stuff if they are allowed. they went to my sisters house and had a ball pulling things apart (they had about 6 old vacuum cleaners that BIL wanted pulled apart for some reason, the twins were entertained for hours doing that!!)
my twins share a room (not that they really have a choice in the matter), seperate them and they want each other, put them together and they fight, but come bed time, they still by choice sleep on the same bed, and when they are alseep have arms and legs over each other.
I can never eat a meal uninteruppted without the bickering and dobbing, just once I would like to sit and eat with no talking!!
sandy cheeks
28-04-2010, 12:39
I have a crazy house and I only have 2 thank god Im not like my greatgrandma 12 kids:eek:
I dont know how you do it with 4+ you large family mums deserve a medal and a holiday.
Just Add Water
28-04-2010, 12:44
Yep. And I have no motivation at the moment either so it's even more bedlam than usual as I'm only getting the absolutely essentials done... maybe we can start a commune and send all the kids out to work in the vegie fields for a few hours each day ;) (No, seriously, let's do it).
Yep. And I have no motivation at the moment either so it's even more bedlam than usual as I'm only getting the absolutely essentials done... maybe we can start a commune and send all the kids out to work in the vegie fields for a few hours each day ;) (No, seriously, let's do it).
:laughing: Yet they'd probably go all Lord of the Flies on us and form their own colony, laughing and dancing around bonfires and running off to live in the trees.
I've bought soap flakes, epson salts, oat bran and an assortment of colours and scents to try and be a bit more interactive with them on the weekend. Thank you better homes and gardens magazine.
Yep it's O and J who rule things here too. The twins the twins... they are a force to be reckoned with. :rolleyes:
:laughing: I saw the thread title but could only see "Is your house ALWAYS..." and in my head I added "NOISY"!!
My answer is definitely YES! Our house is madness 100% of the time. It's really hard to block it out sometimes, but my mantra is 'one day at a time'. Sometimes this changes to 'one hour at a time' :o But it does help most of the time.
I don't really have any advice, just wanted you to know that your situation is certainly not unique and there is at least one other person going through the same thing.
:hugs: It will get better.
we have our moments - or I should say the kids have their moments!
they are generally pretty good, oh who am I kidding. I just stopped for a second to think about this and realized, yes - it is crazy here most of the time. :D
It can do your head in, but I do a good job of blocking it out. "most" of the time ;)
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