How did you cope?

[jenpeterock]

Hi ladies i need some help.

We are 13 weeks pregnant! which is all very exciting! this was planned and approved by genetics councillor, as Evelyns issues werent caused by her chromosomes, they have decided it was either a environmental cause or a cardiovascular (blood flow) problem inutero.

we have had our nt scan done and the results were perfect and i have had no bleed (unlike when i was pg with Evie).

we are telling everyone at the end of this week and i am really worried about what ppl will say. we had always planned to have another bub reasonalbly close to the first and it had ruled it out until our docs suggested that having a sibling would help evie feel normal and also help with her speech development. but besides that we always wanted another one.

i am really paranoid that something will be wrong with this bub.

and i feel really weird about posting in the due date area because everyone there seems so happy and blissfully ignorant (in a good way).

and just to top it off there was a thread the other day with people saying how they dont have routine morphology scans because they dont have any family history of syndromes or congenital defects. their stupidity really p!ssed me off! i didnt post about it tho....

i feel like i dont trust my body, like im faulty.

we have a hospital appointment tomorrow with midwives to assess the pregnancy. they have basically said that until they can prove i am not high risk again then they will treat me as if i was.

so i guess im asking you how did u cope with ur next pregnancy? did u seek help? any advice?

jen xoxox

[Bel1978]

My 2 are 12 months apart so neither was diagnosed until the other was here.... I had many M/C's before them and scans every 2 weeks needles every day....

U know I wouldn't change them for the world... Except maybe today :-)

[~BEXTER~]

Keiara is 5 and has aspergus and I am sure there is more.

We have no idea where she got all her things from as me and my family are perfectly healthy and so is everyone on her fathers side.

I am extreemly worried as the father of this baby does have aspergus and there are medical problems in his side of his family and his brother has a lot of medical issues.

So i can understand why you are worried and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

Everyone thinks I am crazy for keeping the baby because of what could be wrong but I just have a feeling all will be ok, and even if it isn't the father and his family is amazing with support, something I NEVER had with Keiara so I just have a feeling everything wil be ok..

[Bel1978]

I don't get what your saying because of your daughter your family doesn't want u to have any more??

I have 2 on the spectrum as I said I would never change any decision

[jenpeterock]

thanks ladies,

we have our work cut out for us atm, we have just spent all day up at the hospital because evie has lost motor function of her left side :( we r home now and they have upped her dosage of aspirin to help the blood flow better in her brain as she has a hemangioma on her brain tissue.

keiaras Mum - i understand what ur saying, we have no family history of any of Evies issues and we r so worried that this bub might have similar issues, and i know we wouldnt cope if we had two sn babies. its just a risk we have taken to complete our family, as we dont know how long Evie will have with us, as she could have a bleed on the brain at anytime and theres nothing we can do.

[Linda01]

Hi there,

I couldnt read this and not post. I understand your concern. Our situation is a lil different though as my sons issues stem from his chromosome abnormality however that abnormality is the first problem in both my and my husbands family and we have both been tested and are fine so my sons problem was just one of those things. We've been told by genetics that they do not expect it to happen again in future pregnancies however it still scares me greatly. Like you we would love more children and always planned for more but dont know how we would cope if it occured again. I also scan the due date threads and it upsets me too at some peoples comments about testing. All the ultrasounds with our son were perfect and i was young so didnt see a need for ammnio or cvs. However if we have another child we will have these tests.

I feel like another pregnancy wont be enjoyed as I'll be worried the whole time no matter what so I understand how you must feel.

You're almost halfway there and are more brave than I am at the moment. I'd like to try soon but keep holding back. Please keep me posted and I wish you and your family all the very best.

[jenpeterock]

thanks Linda, the genetics specialists said the same to us, that Evie is just one of kind and there is only a 3% chance of having another child with similar problems. they think it was caused by a distruption to blood flow while she was growing and because i had placenta issues which werent picked up before she was born.

i am waiting for the morphology scan to decided on any extra testing. i had a amino with evie due to her heart problem, but it didnt show anything.

we have only told our parents and my sister, not even the extended family yet, because i just dont think i can cope with there 12 dozen questions.

[Linda01]

If we did become pregnant again i think we'd do the same thing as you and not tell a lot of people til later down the track. I dont think they'd ask questions like you have said of your family, in talking to our families they think another child would be a good idea and think our son would benefit from a sibling. Although not sure about the MIL, she sees how hard it can be sometimes. You're doing all the right things, feel positive i'm sure things will be fine. (easier said than done i know) Feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat further. Its refreshing to chat to someone that might have a better idea of how you feel. I see you're located in bris, we're in melb.