A new level

[Chunkydunks]

DS was getting so good for us. Going to bed on time, eating properly, behaving when going out. Something has changed in the last few weeks and my good little man is disappearing so fast I'm considering cancelling his birthday party.

He now defies me in every way when we're out. Sure he'll walk beside me and hold my hand but the whole time he makes stupid noices and dances about, swining his arms and often accidently hitting other people. I ask him time and time again to stop or we're going home and there have certainly been times when I've gotten so over it that I have just left what I'm doing and taken him home. He still doesn't seem to listen.

He's constantly pushing the bounderies with sleep. We've been a bit lax with school holidays and been putting him to bed at 9ish instead of 8ish. He kept stuffing around and pushing it out as far as 1am. Didn't seem to matter what we did he'd still carry on playing, singing, getting up and down, asking for things, calling out....anything to stall. For the last week its been back to 8pm and he's still doing the same thing. Even during the night he had a nightmare and has now learnt a new buzz word thanks to DH.......hallucination. Dh was convinced DS was having hallucinations the other night and I'm convinced it was just a bad dream and he's played on DH's insecurities since. He's now refusing to sleep without a light but hasn't had the light for ages now.

Food has been a battle. I had a threat on this the other day. He's eating as much as a toddler would. he has tiny amounts of food and is losing weight. We're cutting out junk food all together no in an attempt to get us all healthy and that means him eating more of the right foods. Its not that he doesn't like the food. He loves what we give him but he never finishes a meal (well he usually finishes breakfast but thats is) and there is always some lame excuse as to why.

I'm just getting pushed beyond my limits and so is DH. We're trying to pick our battles but DS just seems to turn the simplest of things into a battle. I hope when he goes back to school tomorrow he'll improve like he did last term. I'm just lost. I've got no idea what is going on with him.

[mum of annaliese]

:hugs:it is hard!
With the eating thing - dont worry to much as he will eat if he is hungry (just need to make sure there isnt anything wrong with him) but i make dd sit at the table while we all eat dinner even if she is refusing to have anything. If she doesnt eat then all she can have is bread and butter.

i only have a daughter so am no expert but all of my friends have boys and i think it is something that theyjust do - full on all the time and dont listen etc it drives all my friends insane but school and routine help alot.

How old is your son as it might be time to get him into playing a sport to burn off all the excess energy that he is using driving you around the bend.

[Chunkydunks]

He's nearly 6. We're going to look at karate but there are no guarentees that we can afford it. We try to keep him as active as we can though.

[rynosmum]

It sounds like our boys are about the same age and your post makes me think a couple of things.

Firstly, if he is mucking around with heaps of energy, that's because he is an almost 6 year old boy. I can't believe how much energy my little guy has - he seriously bounces off walls sometimes. It doesn't sound like your guy is deliberately being naughty, he just has the massive boost of testosterone that boys get at that age (read the book 'raising boys' as it explains it) and he is just dealing with it as best as he can. When my DS is like that, it is straight to the park/play date/soccer field etc so that he can run/play it out of system (often he is still wired though:o).

Don't worry about the quantity of the food but do worry about the quality. He will eat enough to fill himself. Perhaps make more small meals. If my son stops eating his dinner at night, I'll make what he calls a 'platter' for when he gets home from school with quartered sandwiches, rice crackers and cheese, cut up apple etc. He generally gets right into that so it doesn't matter so much when he doesn't eat dinner. They go through phases - just make sure that the food he is getting is wholesome food. Junk food will just boost sugar highs with limited follow on so he'll crash and be overtired.

The other thing is the bedtimes and I think that this is something that you do really need to be firm on. If my DS goes to bed later than about 7:30, his behaviour is seriously affected the following day. We do strict 7:30 nights here unless it is a Friday night and he stays up a bit later - with us knowing that he needs to either sleep in the next day or get two good solid sleeps before going back to school. My DS tries to stall too. We just do a firm 'good night' and close the door. He soon learnt the routine although he knows that if he needs us or isn't feeling well he can call out and we'll be there straight away.

Your DS sounds quite normal. Just reasses if it is him picking the fights or yourselves. Sometimes the constant craziness of a boy this age can seem trying but he's just a little guy and it's easy to get bored when you're 5.;)

[Chunkydunks]

I've read raising boys several times. We bought it a while back when things were pretty bad. Its good to fall back on at times too.

I've also been reading "how to raise happy children" and it has some very good idea in it too.

It just seemed like such a sudden change in him. I've put it down to a few things. We cut out a lot of junk food about 4 or 5 weeks ago. DH used to use things like freddos as treats (almost daily too, much to my disliking) and now we've just gone to praise for good behaviour and monetry rewards for "chores" (for want of a better word) and it's taking a bit for him to adjust without the instant reward.

The school holidays have messed him up too. He loves school and it's really been since the holidays started that he's been acting out more. Probably because he isn't as active (mentally as well as physical) despite our best efforts to keep him busy.

My nephew is the other possible thing. DS idolises him (he's 11) and will take on anything he does. He stayed with us for 2 nights at the start of the holidays. Things haven't been great at home for him (his mother was in a bad relationship, what energy was spent on her boys was spent on the youngest. He was really starting to resent her and his brother for it all) and he's been acting out a lot. Just things like making noises at anyone who asks him to do something (which DS is now doing), burying himself in computer games (which again DS is doing more of) and generally just back chatting and doing as he pleases despite many attempts to get him to do as is required of him. DS seems to have taken every negative behaviour that was displayed and decided to roll with it.

It's probably a bit of a cop out for me to look for a reason as to why instead of just say "well it's a stage, lets just roll with it" but he's so far from the boy we were dealing with even 3 weeks ago. I'm sure the lack of sleep and lack of stimulation has a lot to do with it though. Hopefully with him back in the school routine he'll settle down again.