Discipline!

[3boys1girl]

Hi Guys
Im just wanting to know how people out there discipline their kids. I have 2 boys aged 8 and 11 and at the moment they are driving me NUTS!!!:banghead:
They never listen to a word My husband and I say. My 8 year old is the class clown! He is always getting into trouble for farting in class or yelling out. My 11 year old is an angel at school(So ive been told by the teachers) but as soon as he gets home he stirs up my 8 year old. Are they just being boys????
My 8 year old doesnt respect his or anyone elses property. We have started taking things off him that he doesnt look after. How do you teach kids respect?
They used to be well behaved, but the past few months its getting worse. Im worried to that my 8 year old is doing this to get attention, would he still be jelous of my 14mth old?
What should I do???
Thanks

[Funkychicken]

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you but I am in a similar situation with our nearly 8yo. He is being atrocious and stirring up his sister, not listening to anything we say and has NEVER had any sense of respect for belongings. Don't get me wrong, he's a beautiful sensitive little soul but soooo frustrating at times. I'll keep watching this thread and maybe I'll find come advice too!

[Jo_Jo]

well i seem to think it,s more of a boy thing at that age as my 15 year old daughter would never do the stuff that my son cody does who is 11 and i think it,s a real middle child thing as well i find with my son it,s hormones, attention, and a real need in wanting to be right and ready to stand off with me, so lately i have been doing stuff just with him taking a little time that i spend like we went and seen a movie together and i have been playing soccer with him and i have noticed the difference already within the month, lariss being older she talks to me about boyfriends and girl stuff and codys not included and then theres playgroup with bub and im home with him everyday, he needed just a bit of mum time 1 on 1 so thats what i have been doing, believe me he still has his moments but the house has been so much calmer even in the mornings which were the worst times has been better i said this morning get dressed and organised and off to school and this arvo when you get back im gonna whip ya butt at soccer...lol...he went your on mum:thumbsup:

hope it keeps working.....cheers...jo

[3boys1girl]

Thanks guys for your input, im glad to know im not the only one going insane here!
Thanks for the advice Jo Jo, maybe some one on one time may help, its just so hard to find time these days as I have 2 jobs plus 2 other kids, one which is very demanding!!
Thanks again! If anyone else out there in cyber land has anymore advice I would be most grateful!:)

[marsyl]

Hello Cherie, I believe respect is learned by good old fashioned hard work. Make him earn his 'things' Just a suggestion darl.

[BeachBaby3]

I could have written the OP:laughing:

My nearly 8 yr old has the worst attitude at the moment. We've just started collecting marbles. We have a sheet that was written as a family that outlines what you do to earn marbles , eg make bed, tidy toys etc, and how you can lose them ,eg back chat, hitting etc.

Each marble is worth 50cents which is how we work out how much pocket money he gets. We only started last week and on Saturday he received $0. :thumbsdown: . Here's hoping this week works better!

[mummy2sophie]

My heart goes out to you all!! Raising kids - any age is hard. I don't have any experience of raising kids this age or teaching them - but can pass on some advice all the same. Feel free to use the advice or discard as you see fit.

Discipline is difficult. One thing that I've learned and will pass on here....I did a counselling course (Teacher Effectiveness Training - but there's also Parent Effectiveness Training) for school (I'm a high school teacher) and learned techniques of getting kids to listen. I learned how to actively listen to teens. By them knowing i was listening and interested in their problems they soon became interesting in listening to me. And that way they know I respect them and they come to respect me.

I really like the suggestion of spending time with them one on one. That's really great. Gotta make sure there's lots of positives in a relationship before introducing the boundaries. Otherwise they don't see the point of keeping to the boundaries. If they like and respect you then they're more likely to obey your rules - especially if the rules are reasonable and explained why they exist. Pick your battles, only choose rules that are important to you, does it really matter that they leave a few clothes on the floor or not make the bed?? No fighting is a really good start and an important rule.

Taking toys and games away can be a really good way of getting them to respect belongings. Perhaps they want a bit of privacy in order to respect their own belongings. A chest with a lock should do it. Giving them private space lets them know you respect them too. You can make it clear that they have their locked chest and that's out of boundaries for you (no matter how tempting it is to break in!) just like your bedroom is out of bounds for them.

Good Luck...I hope this helps.