Never done CC before...

[LittleBubbles]

Hi everyone.

My DD is 4 months old, and she spends most of her time awake just crying.

She has had a lot of problems, reflux, and constipation, as well and wind etc... So for the first few months of her life I gave in to every little sound she made...

I now know that she fakes it. I can't always tell... So I still find myself giving in. But there are times where she'll cry if i'm sitting down with her on my lap, and she'll stop if I stand up and walk around...

Or if she's lying on the floor crying, she'll stop if I get down and play with her...

Sometimes even when I give in to her she keeps crying... I guess that's when she has a reason to?

I tested out what would happen if I let her cry the other day while I ate lunch. ( I was really hungry!) So I left her in her rocker and put the tv on, put lots of toys around... She played for a few minutes, then got whingy, then started crying, then started screaming...

Okay, it took me 20 minutes to finish lunch. ( I know i'm slow) The entire time - she just kept staring at me and crying, waiting for me to pick her up... She wouldn't stop...

And yep, as soon as I did - she stopped...

*sigh*

She is such a high demand baby, but i just don't know how much more I can give her... I feel all used up...

How do I use controlled crying? I don't even know where to begin...

[Sheer Bliss]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: DD1 was like this too, and it is sooo hard.

Current reccomendations suggest that 6months is the earliest to do CC. You said she has reflux and constipation issues? Have you tried a chiropractor or oesteopath to see if they can help? Saying that she is faking it is a pretty big call for a 4month old. I'll agree that babies know that if they cry they will get their mummies cuddles, but it doesn't mean there isn't a need that needs to be met. If it's really getting to you, i'd try your CHN for a referral to a sleep school or similar, maybe a chat to a GP too to try and help get to the bottom of everything. Good luck.

[nothanksbye]

I have a bub like yours. She is now 1.

I think its too early to CC , I think 6 months is the very earliest.

I also dont think she is "faking" it.

She is unable to do that at such a young age.
I think she is just a bubba that feels more secure with attention.

DD2 is the same.
Can you carry her in an ergo or a sling?

I dont think this makes her high demand. She just needs comfort and movement to feel better I bet!

Please try not to put negative traits on her so young, I know its tempting and all society does it.

My Holly was just the same. But now after a year of carrying and snuggling and loving, she is a great easy bubba.

[overitand36]

get in contact with a sleep school some do home visits

also I tend to think we break faster than babies do when it comes to being all used up get the help you need

[biscotti]

I now know that she fakes it.

I'm not quite sure what you mean but I'm not sure a 4mth old can "fake" wanting her mama.
:hugs: I know it can be tricky but it's quite normal for a 4 mth old to want to be close to Mummy. Do you have a sling? Maybe if you try wearing her for a while she may feel more secure, more connected and settled, good luck...4 mth is probably too young for cc too, she's just telling you in her own way that she still needs her Mummy very close...best wishes to you both :goodvibes:

[supa_star323]

I think she is too young for cc, but when ds was younger I always gave in when he cried and I now wish I hadn't quite so much. If you need to eat lunch, or do something where you can still see/hear her. Then I think it perfectly fine to put her down and let her cry for a little while.

[Mrs Nietzsche]

A 4 mth old baby isn't capable of faking anything - she just wants her mum. She may also be experiencing discomfort that is soothed by mum's presence.

[LittleBubbles]

I think a lot of you have mistaken what I mean by "faking"

Yes - she is faking. In that she isn't ALWAYS in pain when she cries, and there aren't ALWAYS tears...

Babies are intelligent and yes,, they do know how to get what they want. She has been doing it her whole life....

I give into every little whim she wants and I can see now that I don't need to and that she needs to be allowed to cry every now and again.

I mean geez. 5 minutes ago I had to let her cry just so I could go to the toilet. I just think she needs to learn how to deal with things on her own sometimes. As much as I do give in to her when I can... I simply can't do it all the time...

Ok, I understand she is too young for controlled crying. I'm still not even sure what CC is so I probably need to research it a little...

I'm sure that when she does cry and she's not in pain she just wants attention or a cuddle. But she is 4 months now and she doesn't even show an interest in toys or anything. Just me - and only me. She won't even let another person hold her. She cries over everything.

Yes - I understand she needs me. I just wish she could understand that she can't always have me.

I have tried baby carriers, but only cheap brands that don't seem to fit me very well. I'm a rather large and big breasted woman. They feel really wobbly and I just haven't felt confident in having her in one while i'm doing other things. I would love to buy an Ergo - but I can't afford it right now.

Well - i'm dealing with things as best as I can. She still gets all her cuddles and things, just every now and again she can't.

[LittleBubbles]

Oh, and I have heard good things about this Sleep school...

I have to walk around rocking her to sleep for hours with how things are currently...

Just not sure if I can afford it. :( DH has only just started working again. I will talk to my GP.

[Mum2Mimi]

A 4 mth old baby isn't capable of faking anything - she just wants her mum. She may also be experiencing discomfort that is soothed by mum's presence.

:iagree:



" I just wish she could understand that she can't always have me."


I think your expecting alot of a 4month old to understand the above sentence,but i do understand you feeling like this as ur tired,stressed,overwhelmed :hugs:


"I would love to buy an Ergo - but I can't afford it right now."

Could you look on Ebay,Gumtree.com.au or would a friend or family member have one you may be able to borrow?


"I have to walk around rocking her to sleep for hours with how things are currently..."

Have you tried laying her in her cot facing away from you with one hand on her shoulder and the other patting her bum and repeating "shhh shhh sssssh" that seemed to work with DD when she was little and got her in to a good routine that eventually i could walk away earlier and earlier,at first it would take 40mins of patting and over a few days dropped to 10mins then to 3mins, but for thoose first few days i hadto be very consistent and it was very frusterating! :hair: but worth it in long run, she was aware of my presence but also learnt mums not playing! and facing away from you she wont be able to give you thoose cheecky smiles and woo you and turn it into a game and will get bored with nothing to look at :yes:

goodluck

[MamaKoala]

To me this post sounds more like you want her to entertain herself. She still has a couple of months to go before she will start to take interest in other things.
A baby doesn't have to be in pain to need you or need comfort. Think of all the emotions we have where we need security and comfort. A baby can only cry to say 'Mum talk to me', 'play with me', 'I feel lonely and scared', 'I want cuddles'.
Having an infant is tiring and demanding but the more you give now, the more reward you will get later on.
4 months is too early to CC. And CC isn't a method of getting babies to stop grizzling, or requiring your time. It is a sleep tool, and doesn't apply to being left alone to play.
There are heaps of second hand baby carriers you can use. Woven wraps, Mei Tei's and Ergo type carriers are quit inexpensive secondhand. My DD is 7 months and spends her grizzly time on my back wondering around the house. She also prefers for me to be moving so she can have a look around. I find, the more I play with her during the day, the less whingy she is. Yes you need to eat, but I wouldn't let a baby scream in another room for 20 minutes, while I ate. I would do both, or have half while she was just grizzly and then half after I'd settled her.
All the best. I hope you find a routine that works for both of you.

[LittleBubbles]

To me this post sounds more like you want her to entertain herself. She still has a couple of months to go before she will start to take interest in other things.



All I really want is a few minutes to be able to go to the toilet and eat food without having to worry about a screaming kid. Especially when there is nothing wrong with her and all she wants is for me to carry her around... I can't take her to the toilet with me!

Okay, maybe I was expecting too much. I'm just going off how my first Son was. He would play on the floor and roll around and be happy. He almost never cried and was sleeping through the night by the time he was 2 months old. Perfect kid.

Now i have the opposite. lol

Of course I understand that all children are different. Maybe i've had too many older women chatting in my ear about letting kids cry.

My mum, grandmother, aunties - all of them think that DD is "faking" it for attention, and that I should let her cry every now and again.

[dboo]

I hope you get some answers and when you do, let me know. It sounds like your baby is very much like my 8 week old boy. He doesn't cry for other people, but if I am near he will cry and fuss until I pick him up. Sometimes I think he hates me because it can take a while to calm him....he is so good with others...weird...
As soon as I lay him down so i can go to the toilet etc. he starts howling. I know he doesn't do it on purpose and must be a naturally needy bub, but it is soooooo frustrating. I simply cannot watch him cry, though and am amazed how some mothers are able to do CC. I don't judge those who do it, but it's not for me. Hopefully our bubs will settke down soon.