2boybubs
13-04-2010, 10:00
Sorry mods you can delete this thread, I didn't think it posted the first time so now there are two.
I am wondering if anyone has any advice on this, sleep has been a major issue for us since DS2 was born but it seems like I have tried everything, I don't know if there is anything else to do so I have never bothered to post on it before.
I'll start from the beginning. I always wanted to have my babies with me the whole time I was in hospital, this was fine with DS1 since he slept a little but by 3am (he was born at 4pm 11 hours before) and after repeated offers I finally let the midwives take him. I hadn't slept at all during my 51 hour labour and was exhausted. I was extremely upset to find him in the nursery the next morning alone, with the door open and no midwives around at all. Its only a tiny country hospital but still...there is nothing stopping the public from coming in if they want to.
Anyway sleep was a problem right from day one and I had a really difficult time putting him to sleep for about the first year. One method of putting him to sleep wouldn't work by itself, it was an hours-long ordeal of bouncing, breastfeeding, walking, and rocking. The more tired he got the harder it was to get him to sleep and I used to dread every naptime and bedtime. He was on about 4-6 naps a day from day 1 because he wouldn't stay asleep for more than 30 min. At night I could expect 1 1/2 hours between wakeups. I had a 17 month old already and DH was working long hours as the manager of a large resort plus running his own business so I didn't have any help. I have no family around and his mother's advice was that I just had to leave him to scream it out, so I avoided her.
I read books, The Baby Whisperer, Tizzie Hall (threw her book in the fire place), the No Cry Sleep Solution, I checked forums, I took him to the doctor, I changed routines, I took away routine. I changed my diet, I thought he might have colic or reflux and got told he didn't from the CHN and the GP. He wasn't hungry, I had plenty of milk and he was chubby. I would have loved to cosleep and would even have let him breastfeed all night long to keep him asleep but he wouldn't sleep for more than a half hour next to me. I tried baby massage, I tried giving formula before bed (he wouldn't drink it.) I briefly tried the more modern way of CC, judging when I needed to go in by his cries but every time I went in to soothe him he would scream harder. It just made things worse overall.
At 9 months I got him to accept a dummy, which helped a little during the night. He would sometimes sleep up to 4 hours with it at night, naps were a little better and he went down to 2 a day. By 12 months I was getting him to fall asleep (sometimes)by himself after about 8 months of sticking to Elizabeth Pantley's techniques, and he was waking less so he moved into a room with his brother (we only have 2 bedrooms so he couldn't have his own). He still doesn't always go to sleep on his own, but now I am able to rock him to sleep now with a lot less of a tantrum.
At about 14 months (the same time he weaned himself off breastmilk) he went through a phase where I was convinced he was having night terrors. He would cry, I would pick him up and he would scream inconsolably and try to get away. If I let him go he would just throw himself on the floor and scream. This lasted about 3 months, I was told by the GP that if it was night terrors there was nothing to do but give sleep medication in extreme conditions. So, we suffered through it.
Around 17-18 months he started sleeping through some nights :smiliedance:. It was absolute heaven for us. But then again at 20 mos (he is now 21) he has started waking most nights again. He wakes up, and if his dummy has fallen out of the cot he screams for it. If he has his dummy, he throws it across the room and screams for it. I pick him up but if I try to sit down and rock him he just screams bloody murder. So we walk around outside until he's calm and then we rock. Then I put him in bed and rub his back until he's asleep or nearly asleep (unless he cries, which often happens, so we repeat the whole process over). He is always offered milk, sometimes he wants it, usualy he throws the cup on the floor.
He is now getting old enough where I can try to explain to him that "Mummy wants to go to sleep, mummy's tired, and you shouldn't scream at night time." Two nights ago after getting up with him at 12, 1:30 and 2:30, I finally let him cry in his room (his brother luckily sleeps right through it). He cried for about 30 minutes and went back to sleep. I did it again last night, and he screamed for about 30 minutes before going back to sleep at 2am and then 40 minutes at 3am until I gave up and went to get him.
I hate leaving him to cry, it has such a stressful and negative affect on me but I am so exhausted all the time I don't know what else to do. I am so tired I sort of go through the day in slow motion, I make mistakes all the time, I don't feel like doing anything. I have never been depressed before but I am starting to feel down all the time and am losing my patience. I drink way too much coffee and DH and I have had so many fights over my handling of this situation. DH has always wanted to leave him scream like his mother suggests and since I wouldn't do it I sort of felt like I was in this situation alone, I never asked for help or for him to get up at night. Our house is small and there is no way to keep from waking DH up every night so he is always tired at work and I know its really getting him down too.
At every appointment I have mentioned his sleep problems, and no doctor seems to think its strange. I have been smiled at like I'm an idiot, told he is very young and will outgrow it, told some kids are just like this, and had one doctor ask with a very disapproving look, "well what do you want, sleeping pills?" I have run out of options, am I just seeing bad doctors or are there specialists out there that can help me? I know there are sleep nannies that come to your house but I haven't been able to find any near Cairns. I would seriously consider flying someone up from a larger city and spending whatever it takes...I just don't have a clue where to go from here.
Sorry for the long post and rant. I feel better just writing it down.
I am wondering if anyone has any advice on this, sleep has been a major issue for us since DS2 was born but it seems like I have tried everything, I don't know if there is anything else to do so I have never bothered to post on it before.
I'll start from the beginning. I always wanted to have my babies with me the whole time I was in hospital, this was fine with DS1 since he slept a little but by 3am (he was born at 4pm 11 hours before) and after repeated offers I finally let the midwives take him. I hadn't slept at all during my 51 hour labour and was exhausted. I was extremely upset to find him in the nursery the next morning alone, with the door open and no midwives around at all. Its only a tiny country hospital but still...there is nothing stopping the public from coming in if they want to.
Anyway sleep was a problem right from day one and I had a really difficult time putting him to sleep for about the first year. One method of putting him to sleep wouldn't work by itself, it was an hours-long ordeal of bouncing, breastfeeding, walking, and rocking. The more tired he got the harder it was to get him to sleep and I used to dread every naptime and bedtime. He was on about 4-6 naps a day from day 1 because he wouldn't stay asleep for more than 30 min. At night I could expect 1 1/2 hours between wakeups. I had a 17 month old already and DH was working long hours as the manager of a large resort plus running his own business so I didn't have any help. I have no family around and his mother's advice was that I just had to leave him to scream it out, so I avoided her.
I read books, The Baby Whisperer, Tizzie Hall (threw her book in the fire place), the No Cry Sleep Solution, I checked forums, I took him to the doctor, I changed routines, I took away routine. I changed my diet, I thought he might have colic or reflux and got told he didn't from the CHN and the GP. He wasn't hungry, I had plenty of milk and he was chubby. I would have loved to cosleep and would even have let him breastfeed all night long to keep him asleep but he wouldn't sleep for more than a half hour next to me. I tried baby massage, I tried giving formula before bed (he wouldn't drink it.) I briefly tried the more modern way of CC, judging when I needed to go in by his cries but every time I went in to soothe him he would scream harder. It just made things worse overall.
At 9 months I got him to accept a dummy, which helped a little during the night. He would sometimes sleep up to 4 hours with it at night, naps were a little better and he went down to 2 a day. By 12 months I was getting him to fall asleep (sometimes)by himself after about 8 months of sticking to Elizabeth Pantley's techniques, and he was waking less so he moved into a room with his brother (we only have 2 bedrooms so he couldn't have his own). He still doesn't always go to sleep on his own, but now I am able to rock him to sleep now with a lot less of a tantrum.
At about 14 months (the same time he weaned himself off breastmilk) he went through a phase where I was convinced he was having night terrors. He would cry, I would pick him up and he would scream inconsolably and try to get away. If I let him go he would just throw himself on the floor and scream. This lasted about 3 months, I was told by the GP that if it was night terrors there was nothing to do but give sleep medication in extreme conditions. So, we suffered through it.
Around 17-18 months he started sleeping through some nights :smiliedance:. It was absolute heaven for us. But then again at 20 mos (he is now 21) he has started waking most nights again. He wakes up, and if his dummy has fallen out of the cot he screams for it. If he has his dummy, he throws it across the room and screams for it. I pick him up but if I try to sit down and rock him he just screams bloody murder. So we walk around outside until he's calm and then we rock. Then I put him in bed and rub his back until he's asleep or nearly asleep (unless he cries, which often happens, so we repeat the whole process over). He is always offered milk, sometimes he wants it, usualy he throws the cup on the floor.
He is now getting old enough where I can try to explain to him that "Mummy wants to go to sleep, mummy's tired, and you shouldn't scream at night time." Two nights ago after getting up with him at 12, 1:30 and 2:30, I finally let him cry in his room (his brother luckily sleeps right through it). He cried for about 30 minutes and went back to sleep. I did it again last night, and he screamed for about 30 minutes before going back to sleep at 2am and then 40 minutes at 3am until I gave up and went to get him.
I hate leaving him to cry, it has such a stressful and negative affect on me but I am so exhausted all the time I don't know what else to do. I am so tired I sort of go through the day in slow motion, I make mistakes all the time, I don't feel like doing anything. I have never been depressed before but I am starting to feel down all the time and am losing my patience. I drink way too much coffee and DH and I have had so many fights over my handling of this situation. DH has always wanted to leave him scream like his mother suggests and since I wouldn't do it I sort of felt like I was in this situation alone, I never asked for help or for him to get up at night. Our house is small and there is no way to keep from waking DH up every night so he is always tired at work and I know its really getting him down too.
At every appointment I have mentioned his sleep problems, and no doctor seems to think its strange. I have been smiled at like I'm an idiot, told he is very young and will outgrow it, told some kids are just like this, and had one doctor ask with a very disapproving look, "well what do you want, sleeping pills?" I have run out of options, am I just seeing bad doctors or are there specialists out there that can help me? I know there are sleep nannies that come to your house but I haven't been able to find any near Cairns. I would seriously consider flying someone up from a larger city and spending whatever it takes...I just don't have a clue where to go from here.
Sorry for the long post and rant. I feel better just writing it down.