i dont think i can do this

[munchkin05]

ok im being completely honest here
alot of people are comenting on me coping really well since dp and i split
but im not coping at all

i sit here now and the tears have started and they arent going to stop
im not ment to be a single mummy its not what i had planned
come weekends im a absolute mess i dont know what to do with myself

ive lost everything thats important to me and it wasnt my decision and i feel like im the one thats been robbed of this happy family

im just a mess
i feel like im trapped and i cant go forward
i want to wake up inthe morning and all this hurt and everything just be gone

sorry just feeling really :gloomy:
better goto bed

theres so much to think about and do i just dont know where to start

[Niki]

:hugs: oh ang im not sure wat to say.....but dont bottle up your feelings..let them out :hugs:

you deserve better, the hurt will eventually go away until then u have us all to help you throu :hugs:

[munchkin05]

thanks niki

but i guess its harder stil cause theres only a few people that know what really went on

you know what our family are like so i guess i have no choice but to bottle it all up

but its getting harder and harder to contain

[Niki]

let it out, let them deal with it if they dont like it!!! just remember if u tell gran all the family will no in 10mins flat :laughing:

dont forget a problem shared is a problem halved..im always here if u need to talk and so is all the rest of my family :hugs:

[the_queen]

oh Angela :hugs: it's hard mate, this kind of thing is so bl**dy hard, of course you didn't plan to be a single mum, of course you feel like this is not how it's meant to be. You are allowed to feel this way - you need to grieve the loss of your relationship, you need to grieve the loss of your hopes and dreams, you need to adjust to your new life and your new situation - everything you feel is valid, don't bottle your emotions up, make sure you have someone to talk to in real life, someone who you can go and just cry on their shoulder. One crying session won't make you feel better - it could take a while until you feel more normal again. Don't put too high a expectations on yourself, you deserve to take things slowly right now. :hugs: oh mate I know exactly how you are feeling and it ****ing sux doesn't it. It feels like nothing will ever be good again, nothing will ever go your way. But trust me, trust me, it does get better. You will come out of this as a stronger woman. I don't know if you have any kind of spirituality - but I truly beleive that God/destiny/the universe doesn't give us more than we can handle. You can get through this, you can and you will get through this. You will be a stronger woman and you will have so much wisdom and strength once these first few difficult months are over.

If you ever need to unload, do it here, and you can PM me if you need to chat more, I left my husband 3 years ago, went back to him after 18 months, and now 18 months later I am in the same position again, I'm about to become part of the single mummy group too, again. It's painful, it's depressing, it's over-whelming - but you will get through it and be a stronger woman at the end of it.

:hugs:

[munchkin05]

let it out, let them deal with it if they dont like it!!! just remember if u tell gran all the family will no in 10mins flat :laughing:

dont forget a problem shared is a problem halved..im always here if u need to talk and so is all the rest of my family :hugs:


know what you mean bout gran :laughing:

im more worried about reactions from everyone
and ive still got that hope that one day soon he will relise and we will get back together and i dont want all the family to know about everything

[LilShenanigans]

Families can be strange. Whatever reactions your fearing, they are usually completely wrong.
Nothing bad about being upfront and honest and maybe admitting you need a shoulder to cry on.

I knew when I fell pregnant I was terrorfied of telling my family because there wasn't a relationship there, I was going to end up a single mother.
After I had finally told most of family (which were happy for me, but a lil worried as well), I finally told my mother who got excited and rang my grandmother straight away. For a traditional catholic woman with a class sized family, my grandmother was the most understanding and supporting person, and still is!

I do also agree with Queen, take your mourning period, take as long as you need. I say though, keep your hopes alive, nobody knows how their life is going to turn out or turn around or I think your feeling turned upside down.

:hugs: for you

[Funkychicken]

:hugs: Hugs to you Angela. I can't really offer any advice to you. And :hugs: to the Queen too. I'm really sorry that yoy ladies are going through this-especially with such young bubbas. I wish you both well and please know that you can BOTH unload here as you need to. It doesn't beat the real thing but it can help.:hugs:

[Chanelc]

All I can say is the first couple of months after separation are the hardest... you wil have good and bad days I find it great to speak to other mum's on the site and made some great friends.
I can tell you I never wanted to be a single mum, it wasn't in my plan either unfortunately life never goes to plan.
As far as wanting to reconcile maybe you need to focus on you and your little ones. Stop thinking about him and men naturally always want what they can't have!

[Karizma]

:hugs: :hugs: Oh hun big hugs. I honestly would be a mess I dont know how i would cope in the initial shock of it all.And I dont know so I cant really give you advise but you need to cry and grieve because it is likea loss and you need to get it out or it will eat away at you. But I am sending you all the strenghth in the world and hugs

[Niki]

know what you mean bout gran :laughing:

im more worried about reactions from everyone
and ive still got that hope that one day soon he will relise and we will get back together and i dont want all the family to know about everything


dont go into detail with them just let them no its hard on you, if you guys do get back together then its none of their buisness any way.....you know wats right for you not them! :hugs: hope you are feeling abit beta today

[bearsmummy]

aw ang:hugs:
you only have to tell them as little or as much details as you want to hun. its ok to show that things arent ok and that we are hurting sometimes as hard as it may seem. its better to let it out than bottle it up sweetie.
you are a great lady and dont deserve any of this to happen to you.... just remember that we are all here for you no matter what.:hugs: