j&k'smum
22-08-2005, 14:27
My daughters father has recently contacted me..I hadn't spoken to him for about a year and a half, after a night where he forgot i was a woman!!(dv). It was a terrible experience and I really thought there was no way I could ever forgive him.( there were a few experiences previously, but none this bad!) After this phone call, and my outpouring of emotion that I had pent up for all that time towards him, he said that he wanted me to get the forms for him to sign because he wanted to pay maintenance for her.( and it was mentioned that when she gets older she could go interstate and see him!!) Initially I thought that was great, but then I got scared that I would be doing the wrong thing. To me, this just gives him the power to come in and take her whenever he wants..visiting rights and all of that.
I think for now I feel "safe" that he can't legally take her - his name wasn't put on the birth certificate due to this reason also. There was substance abuse in the relalationship, (hence the violent outbursts) and I think I am just scared that he still is the same, inspite of him telling me he has changed and doesn't do that anymore.( detected different while talking to him) .I know that he is her father and that he has a "right" but does he really.? Has he the right to come in and totally screw with this little girls head? If he was a decent bloke, then I wouldn't be having this problem but as much as he has a "good heart" (??), the drugs/alchol/violence factor outweigh his "right". I would love to tell child support where he is just so he doesn't "get away with it". But really, - is five dollars a week worth the risk of what it may do to my little girl?? I just need some advice, as my family and friends don't know i have had contact with him.( my sister might now, if she reads this!!) :confused:
I think for now I feel "safe" that he can't legally take her - his name wasn't put on the birth certificate due to this reason also. There was substance abuse in the relalationship, (hence the violent outbursts) and I think I am just scared that he still is the same, inspite of him telling me he has changed and doesn't do that anymore.( detected different while talking to him) .I know that he is her father and that he has a "right" but does he really.? Has he the right to come in and totally screw with this little girls head? If he was a decent bloke, then I wouldn't be having this problem but as much as he has a "good heart" (??), the drugs/alchol/violence factor outweigh his "right". I would love to tell child support where he is just so he doesn't "get away with it". But really, - is five dollars a week worth the risk of what it may do to my little girl?? I just need some advice, as my family and friends don't know i have had contact with him.( my sister might now, if she reads this!!) :confused: