View Full Version : Dad's get gender disappointment too... :(
I just wanted to pop my head in and share my story.
DP and I were both hoping for a boy, however I didn't really care what bub was, as long as she is healthy.
When we found out that bub is a girl, I was over the moon (mostly because all her parts are in the right order and working)... DP was disappointed but said he didn't really care.
He's not really one to talk about things but I have a feeling he was much more upset by not getting his son that he would let on. Especially as this pregnancy was unplanned and at the beginning unwanted (for him).
I just thought I could give some encouragement to ladies who think their partners might have GD :( I can't say that I understand how it feels, but I can say that I've lived with someone who does. I don't think DP felt that he had any right to be upset about it.
He's now come to terms with the pregnancy, and having a little daughter, and even calls her by her name (which he picked :yes:), and its like a switch was flicked... He's obviously dealt with his feeling by himself and "figured it out".
Anyway this is kind of more rant and confusion than anything, and I'm glad he's ok now, but anyone who thinks their DP may have GD, please speak to them about it and make sure that they know it's ok, it's not wrong, and most of all, it's perfectly NORMAL!!!
Thanks for your post Sarah, totally agree with you, gender dissapointment is very real for the father aswell!! Dp and I really thought we would have a boy last time, but suprisingly neither of us felt dissapointed when we found out she was a girl. This time we're hoping for a blue bundle once again, I think it probably bothers DP more than me, he wants a son to do all those 'boy' things together, so I totally feel for him and can understand what he's saying, I think i'd feel exactly the same if we had 2 boys and as a woman really wanted a girl to do those mother/daughter things with.
I think for us we just sat down and decided we would try a few natural methods to ttc a boy but knowing full well we could quite easily get another girl! And we'd both be ok with that, i'd love another girl lol.
Sounds like your partner went through alot of emotions in regards to the pregnancy/gender of your bub but I am so sure that he will just fall head over heels in love when he see's your little girl. Becoming a parent is a big thing and regardless of the sex I really think the emotional side catches you by surprise just as much each time.
Goodluck with your little princess (love the name btw) :D
I am not expecting a baby now but had to agree with OP about gender disappointment for men.
When we had our last bubba DH really wanted a little girl when we had scan and found out gender (I insisted he find out), from the second the lady said it's a boy DH went silent, said nothing for about 3 hours after scan then took a good 4 days before he would acknowledge the pregnancy or baby again.
On the 4th day we were at Seaworld waiting out front for his family to turn up when he touched my belly and said 'a boy will be good, first son to carry on family name from birth' and was excited about having a son. We both had a son each prior to meeting but his had his BM last name at time (now has legally changed it :D) and my son had just taken my married name at the time as we'd only been married 3 weeks when found out I was 6 weeks pregnant.
Anyhow, We are planning another bubba and he is already setting himself up for disappointment as he is saying 'when we have our girl', her or she already so I will insist on finding out gender prior to birth again for same reason.
If we left it til birth to find out I think he would have problems bonding with bub and I would hate to see that happen...
I would love a Girl too but I will adjust to having a boy easier than he will if that is what happens.
Thanks guys :) I was hoping it wasn't just my DP. He's so unemotional on the outside, but is such a deep thinker. He'll never let anyone know how he feels though (unless he's pi**ed off with them!), so it's hard for me to help him.
I'm so scared to even think about having a second bub incase it's a girl (we only want 2... for now lol) but will do what we can for a boy, and if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work.
I agree though, she'll have him wrapped around her little finger! And thanks for the name comment :) We love it too. DP sure does have good taste :D
My DH literally balled his eyes out when we found out we were having ANOTHER girl.. and grunted "not another bloody female to tell me what to do" :laughing:
My dh had it with our last 2 as well, he refused to come to my ultrasounds with me this time and i was the one to tell him we were expecting boy number six. He was gutted for a few days but he is really excited for this little guy to come now and i can see that he is over it.
With our fifth ds he couldnt handle it while i was having my ultrasound and when the lady announced "it's a boy" he got teary, to the point where once the US was over he waited in the car for me to finish up and get pics etc. we sat in total silence the whole way home and he cried all the way. He took it way harder that time than he did this time.
Sarahkristine you could have been writing about my DH right there! He is exactly the same - not a lot of outward emotion, deep thinker etc. He is so sure that this baby is a boy and is so adamant it's not a girl that he even refuses to discuss girl name. We're finding out the sex of baby so that he can get used to the idea if it's a girl. I don't want to be in the delivery suite and see a look of total disappointment on his face on the day if it's a little girl. I know he will love her just the same after he adjusts to the idea, so I figure that the more time he has to do that the better. As with most GD I think he'll be mourning the boy he didn't get to have this time around rather than loving our little girl any less.
2 weeks to go and we'll find out!! You ladies on here have calmed me down a bit - posted a nub pic and it's unanimously been posted boy. Fingers crossed, for DH's sake!
Good luck JellyBean :)
DP has now totaly come to terms with it, so there is definately hope :) Although he does have a tendancy to pick out blue/not-pink things for her lol, I think that's mostly because he's not a huge fan of the "pink for girls, blue for boys" theory...
The Girls Only Club
DH and I were both disappointed when we learnt we were expecting another girl.It took us a long time to come to terms but now we are excited(2 weeks to go)He wouldn't talk about her for a long time and as I was feeling the same,we didn't discuss anything to do with her for a while
He still jokingly says that he is taking home a boy from the hospital no matter what.And our daughter will be called Shudda Beena Boy.
I have spoken to a number of mums who have said that their husbands were very upset by not having their much desired sons. So yeah, it does happen and I feel for the dads too as I have gone through this three times now.
Thanks for opening my eyes. I never even thought about that... I had GD with DS but now I'm thinking I want another boy LOL
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