CC women I need your help

[supa_star323]

When I go in to settle ds after so long, is it ok to speak to him or should I do so without speaking to him?

[FertileMertile]

I would just do a bit of trial and error maybe? Try ignoring him (by that I mean not talking to him when you go into his room) and I would try talking to him too. Every child is different so what my child responds to yours may not.

With DS1 i did the whole not talking thing (my mum suggest that to me as she saw it on super nanny lol) and for awhile it worked but I guess I felt a bit guilty as he would be craving our attention. It did work really well and he would normally give up and settle.

I also find ignoring him does keep me calmer as i used to get really frustrated with him if he wouldnt settle.

[Bunnyhugs]

I would just do a bit of trial and error maybe? Try ignoring him (by that I mean not talking to him when you go into his room) and I would try talking to him too. Every child is different so what my child responds to yours may not.

:iagree:

[supa_star323]

Thanks.. I have one more q...

If he is getting up and banging on the door the second I leave the room should I just tignore it completely until the time is up?

[IndigoJ]

I usual say things lke "Mummy is right here DS goodnight". "Its alright, mummy is here", "Mummy is going to her bed now" But i sleep in the same room and he can still hear/see me. I find he settles better if he knows its bedtime but i dont actually dissappear at bedtime, i like to let him know im close to him.

[FertileMertile]

Thanks.. I have one more q...

If he is getting up and banging on the door the second I leave the room should I just tignore it completely until the time is up?


Yep I would ignore him :)

[supa_star323]

I have one more, I promise this is the last, sorry...

how long is reasonabl for me to expect him t take when starting? Last night two hours and I caved, Tonight I am not caving, but it's already been an hour and he's not giving up at all...

[FertileMertile]

:laughing: Dont be sorry! Thats what this forum is about. To ask questions!

I think it would depend on the child and how stubborn they are.

CC is a really hard thing to do as its going against your natural instincts so its normal to cave but IF you cave you have just un done everything you just did.

I think the first few nights are the hardest but it all pays off in the end :)

Its so good to have a child that self settles!

[xpectant]

Just stick with it, and keep checking on him to make sure he is okay. If you stay strong, it will happen quicker and you will be pleased with the end result.
It is definitely harder starting later in life, but he'll get it soon enough.
All the best.

[blubber]

It is a really hard cause to belive you are doing the right thing.

Is there something wrong with them, are you being awful, is it just teaching them independance? Age has alot to do with it and I have never tried this before 7-8 months.

I did it with DD1 and it took no effort at all. DD2 it NEVER worked and now with DD3 whom we took the dummy away from it is easier than harder but hard at times.

Day times I think we have to just trust our judgement when they are tired.

Night time is harder. I believe in reassurance at intervals. We succomed and started giving a feed and don't think we should have. Last night she went for 40minutes and gave in. I will follow that lead now.

I think you need to check all is ok, reassure and ride it out.

Good luck, I know it is VERY VERY hard.

[BabelFish]

Did you mean he cried for two hours before you caved or you went in and out after proscribed periods of time for two hours before you caved?

Letting him cry for two hours is absolutely NOT what CC is all about! But I'm pretty sure you didn't mean it that way ... ?

[Hollywood]

I could be wrong....but I thought controlled crying was best for 6 months - 2 year olds..?

[supa_star323]

No no I went in after 10, then 15 then 20 mins and so on for two hours.

And they say cc is best for that age group but our psychologist said this was ok and we had results Thursday night.

[2boofulgals]

When I reassure DD2 (even though she's only 9 months old) I do talk to her but I don't make eye contact because if I do, she thinks it's time to chat and have a play.

I'm not sure how it would be with an older child though, I don't think I could do that with DD1 as she's now 26 months old but we're about to put her in a bed so we might just find out! :laughing: