Questions about child care...

[macaroon]

I’m returning to work this week and will be leaving DS in child care 2 days a week. He is 10 months. Last week we did orientation at his child care centre where I left him there 2 days for 1-2 hours each day. He cried as I left and must’ve been crying while I was gone as he was still sobbing when I returned. I thought it didn’t go well but the staff reassured me that this is a normal reaction. Personally, I thought I should’ve stayed but the staff encouraged me to leave him there. I'm feeling really apprehensive about leaving him there for a full day as he doesn't seem to have bonded with the staff yet so no doubt will be upset :crying:

Just a few question for those that have children in child care: What was the orientation process at your child care centre? How did your child react? How long did it take for them to settle in?

On my first day of work, I was thinking I might take him to child care an hour early and stay with him for that hour to help him settle in. Do you think that would be helpful or am I just making it harder for him (and myself)?

[bAaM]

I am a child care worker and also a mum so i will give you my opinion on what I would do if i was putting my babies in a different centre.

I would over 2 weeks go ever second day in the morning when there out playing I would leave my child out there for an hour or so and then go get them. and each time streach out how long i leave them.

But concidering your bub is only 10 months old I would suggest going and spending the time there with him but have the staff do everything for him so he can understand that there is someone else there to tend to his needs.

It IS very normal for them to be unsettled for awhile.
We have a little boy at work that comes Tuesdays and Thursdays, he is 1 in May and has been coming for about 4 weeks now.

week 1 he was very clingy and wanted to be cuddles and carried the whole time. (Which if its a good centre *most* of the time someone will be able to re-asure him or give him a cuddle.)

week 2 the tuesday he was still the same but the Thursday he was on and off.

Week 3 The Tuesday he was on and off then the Thursday he cried for about 1 and a half hours after mum left ( not constently more on off when he wasnt distracted) and was fine till mum came then cried when he saw her.

Last week (week 4) he cried for 20 min after mum left, on tuesday he cried when he saw her back and on thursday he got all excited and happy.

All kids are different and he actually settled quite well. Some kids can take months to really settle in.

What are your hours? Most centres the babies are with the bigger kids till around 9 and back out around 4 to accomodate for staff to start/leave.

if there is anything else you want to no ask away. As i said i am a mum as well but i have the advantage of knowing if there settleing or not.
Just give it time though, It breaks your heart to leave them upset but it is better if you say your goodbye and leave so the carers can try and work out the best way to settle bub.

It takes time but most do settle and end up loving it.

[c38]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:It's a horrid feeling.


DS went to childcare from 11 months 2 days aweek. I'd say it took about 6-8 weeks and even then some mornings he would still cry but by the time I put his bag on the rack and walked outside, I could see through the side window that he had settled and was eating breakfast or playing. He went through crying and clingyiness again for about 4 weeks when he moved up to the 18mth old room, but now he barely stops to say goodbye:D which in someways is just as heart wrenching....


Is there anyone he's familiar with, who can pick him up early for you for a few weeks such as grandma. My Mum used to pick him up and we slowly stretched the time out. Also I found that dropping him off not prolonging the goodbye worked better. But when I went to pick him up I used to cuddle or BF him there, then make a point of looking round with him or sitting on the mat and interacting with him and the other kids and carers for 15-20 minutes or so... to try and give him the impression that I liked the place and felt comfy there too.

[macaroon]

Thanks for the response baam. I’ll be working 9.30am to 4.30pm and it takes about a half hour to get to work from the child care centre so he’ll be there from 9am to 5pm. I like your suggestion of a 2 week introduction of leaving him there longer and longer. I’d have to look into it to see if I could do something like that. I imagine they’ll start charging me if I do something like that. Do the better child care centres do that sort of introduction?

[lealea79]

hello i also work in childcare and have an 11 month old son.. im lucky as i work at the centre he attends and am in the room right next to his...
at our centre they wouldnt charge you but probably be more then happy for you to attend for an hour each day you wish to try and help you son settle.. i will be honest and can see why the staff at the centre didnt want you stay as it is very hard to try and comfort a child when the child knows the parent is still there... your baby will learn to settle in more quickly if your not around (as harsh and as sad it is for you).. but feel free to call the centre as many times as you need to reassure yourself that he is doing ok... but yeah as the other lady suggested maybe for the few weeks if someone could maybe pick up you child a bit earlier and then extend it each time...
but yeah for sure ask your centre if you can go and even yourself try and bond with the carers that will be looking after your baby...
i left my baby for one day before i went back to work and i rang twice and talked to his teacher on facebook during her lunch break just to see how he was going.. so i do know how you are feeling... best of luck with starting back at work...

[macaroon]

c38, that's so reassuring to hear he settled quite quickly once you left. It really worries me that DS will be unsettled the whole 8 hours he's there :eek:

I'd have to look into whether someone could pick him up early. Unfortunately, my work isn't being very flexible for me to do it. DH could possibly pick him up at midday and drop him off at grandpa's (unfortunately, grandpa doesn't drive).

[bAaM]

Thanks for the response baam. I’ll be working 9.30am to 4.30pm and it takes about a half hour to get to work from the child care centre so he’ll be there from 9am to 5pm. I like your suggestion of a 2 week introduction of leaving him there longer and longer. I’d have to look into it to see if I could do something like that. I imagine they’ll start charging me if I do something like that. Do the better child care centres do that sort of introduction?

I cant say if ALL centres do it but mine does, But then mine is different to normal child care cause its Montesorri.
Just have a chat to the director and tell them your really uneasy about throwing him in for a full day but dont want to only pay for 1-2 hours. Most places are pretty understanding, find out there quieter days and ask if you could do it those days so the child to carer ratio is still ok with your little one there.

Maybe you could sort out paying for one day but ask to use the hours from that one day, over a week. Make sure you stay the first few times for a bit but stand out of the room and observe the way there helpping your DS settle in. It will also ease your mind if you no there trying to comfort him.

[Amara]

My son went at 7 months and was initially there 5 days. I took him once and left him in the room and peeked in and stayed in the kitchen for about an hour. He was fine. He went full time the next week and did not even cry so I was lucky. He loves it there. He has only cried on leaving a couple of times and I could hear him stop before I left the centre. Its hard leaving them when crying, I have had to comfort a couple of distressed mums and I could remember vividly how hard it was to leave him at first even when he was happy.

[Little-Pink-Hen]

I'm not sure if someone said this already
I'm a cc worker to and a mum
sometimes you staying actually upsets bubs more
when you leave always say goodbye never sneak off, create a ritual for goodbye, hand over, kiss, wave, " mummy loves you, bye bye, I'll be back" etc
at ten months your ds would most likely at the stage of seperation anxiety and stranger awarness so it is more difficult to leave them with new people they have less concept of time and you coming back etc.
With our centre we do what parents are comfortable with
with a recent family they had two boys 1yrs and 2yrs (2 different rooms) parents came to look through etc. Trail day mum came spent an hour with both during outside time. Trail day two dad came spent an hour with both during outside time and morning tea time. First day mum stayed first hour.
Both boys were upset, parents told us that 1yr old like to cling, staff cuddled and carried as much as we could, bub would get more upset when he came into contact with older brother.
Mum and dad encouraged to call as much time as they wanted
dad now drops off for breakfast they settle faster. Older brother is removed if little one is getting upset. Little one has developed a rest stratergy when upset will cuddle staff member and like to lay on cushions and get patted.

[MumtoD]

Our son is now 11.5 months and he started going 2 days a week when he was 10 months.

The first day was fine as he didnt know what was happening - the second was horrendous. I think the first 2-3 weeks he cried when I took him but I would do what I had to do and leave and peek back in 5 mins later and he was generally ok.

I also put him in 2 days before I returned to work so I was around if he needed me and he did the second day. We also have my MIL pick him up at 2pm now as he doesnt last much beyond that without getting cranky as he barely sleeps at day care.

They like you to leave asap at our centre if the child is unsettled as it only makes the process longer.

[mum of 3]

i have recently put my dd 18mo in dc we did a 3 day orientation the first 2 days i stayed with her we played and wonderd around the room together and got to know the staff the 3rd day i stayed for 30mins then left the room to see how she went and she had a ball . My dd is usually a verry clingy mummys girl but imo taking the time to geting to know the room and the kids and staff together really put her at ease .