Injections Aaaarrrrggghhh

[FOURtunate]

Hello ED Watchers

Obstacles of the day: Torrential Rain
Sick 2 Year Old
Lost my Visa Card (Thankyou Mr 2 Year Old)
Hair that isn't so good on a rainy day

Today I had my Nursing Interview at SIVF. Two really lovely Nurses went through the whole cycling process with me. I was given a precsription for The Pill, which I haven't taken in years. Last time I took it, I gained 6 kilos in 6 weeks, and went beserk. Hoping for a more civil result this time! :fingerscrossed:

I was also given my prescription for my injections, as well as a demo on how to inject myself. Looks like fun! NOT.

The Nursing Interview was informative and a real eye opener to Infertility. I just kept saying over and over how awful it is that C and A have to produce their baby this way. The Nurse held my hand, as I was really quite emotional at what C has to go through. When I regained my composure, two Finance staff came to speak with me. About what? I'm not sure. From what I know, finances are not a part of my job description here. However, I was able to ask questions about ways that I can save C and A money.

At the end, the Nurse took me back to the waiting lounge, made me a coffee, and sat with me and talked about my emotions at being this integral last chance for C and A. I spoke of my feelings of being overwhelmed by the responsibility that my body has to produce lots of good quality eggs, and ultimately, a healthy and normal child.

C, A and I then met with the Counsellor for the final time. I was very happy with this visit. As a family-to-be, we are all on the same page in terms of our expectations for the future. The Counsellor encouraged me to give C and A a "bottom line" of contact for the future. I am hoping to be able to keep some contact with them. Mainly because they are friends now, and I need to know that they are okay. But also, obviously, because I NEED to know that any bub who exists as a result of my donation, is a happy person.

C, A and I then went for lunch. By now, we were exhausted. It was lovely, but also difficult, because there is still so much that I want to say to them. We just never get the time. I feel as though we could stay on the phone for weeeeeks. C gave me a bottle of Pregnancy vitamins with a ribbon attached (she has my attention to detail). That was so nice. Like being given a present. Lunch concluded with us agreeing to meet again soon.

Now, my next ED project is to fill in a form, desribing my ancestry, medical history, and... my personality. What will I say?

"Dear Biological Child, I am a crazy woman who loves injecting herself daily"

But even more scary, is that I have to find a photo of myself that I would be happy with a future child seeing. Wish me luck! We are on our way. I am so excited :smiliedance:

In Two Weeks: Start Contraceptive Pill ( I am now on Day 12)
Call SIVF for instructions

[PMS]

Hi. You did have a rough day! You know that you'll get through this; I think that you're a strong and determined woman and you'll have no worries. Your very lucky that you do have a strong relationship with C and A and that you can rely on them for support.
As to the photo that you have to provide; maybe a really nice one of you and your kids? Or is it just you they want?
Well best of luck darl; you've done a great job so far.

:hugs: Peta

[Tracker]

Hi Angeldoula,

Thanks for posting this, it's great to read how thing are from a donors point of view (pressure for good quality eggs etc.)

I can't wait to follow your story with C&A.

Good luck.

[FOURtunate]

Hi Peta

Thanks for the support my dear.

Yesterday feels like a dream. A really looong dream. This is all a bit surreal. Funnily enough, I found it to be a much easier day, because C and A were there. Much less draining.

I am over the shock of seeing the "ins and outs" of the procedure (so to speak). C likens the process as being a like a Torch Relay, where I will go through the run and then hand the job over to her.

This is by far, the biggest thing to ever have happened in my life. In some ways, it's even more of an epic experience than giving birth to my own bubs. So much more invasive. So much less certainty.

Don't get me wrong, I have had my share of reproductive disappointments. I have cried bucketloads for my lost babies. I have held my breath until I have seen my babies first breath. I have sat in Neonatal ICU where you can feel, see, hear, taste and touch the hopelessness.

But, I will feel all of these, and more until C and A invite me to the Maternity Ward to see their baby. Or until they tell me to give up.

[Karizma]

((((((((Sending luck and hugs your way. :fingerscrossed: :hugs: )))))))

[babydreams]

Angeldoula, you are one amazing woman. To experience sadness on C's behalf at the thought of what she has had to go through to have a child at a time when you could have been freaking out about the whole medical process demonstrates enormous empathy and a big, big heart.

Writing about your journey from the donor's perspective is incredibly valuable. I have known other donors who have felt similar pressure, not from their IPs, but from themselves. We know you want your body to cooperate and help these lovely people and I truly hope it does, but even with the most fertile of donors, these things are never guaranteed. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure your IPs will be eternally grateful to you for having done more than most people would even contemplate. If it does work, it sounds like you already have the basis for a wonderful, fulfilling relationship and the potential for much joy and satisfaction over the years.

Sometimes I think that people who have suffered in their own lives are given a huge gift...although it doesn't feel that way at the time. The struggles you have had to have your own family and the grief you have known over your lost babies has given you rare insight into the pain of those who find themselves needing an egg donor.

Your reaction during your Nurse's appointment brought tears to my eyes...how amazing that someone whose eggs work could feel that! On my down days I too cry for those lost joys...of making love with my darling husband knowing that a new life could be the result, of handing over the most intimate moments of our lives (conception, early embryo development) to scientists in a lab and submitting to endless medical intrusion into our ovaries and wombs. It is a huge loss and the grief that results is very real. The only way we get through it is hanging on to the hope that if we continue for long enough or if some angel comes along to help we might finally hold and love our precious babies

Many of us are so wounded by grief that even the birth of a baby can't remove the scars...we are forever changed by our experience of infertility. My hope is that we use our insight and experience to support others and offer understanding in a world that seems to take having babies for granted.

Angeldoula...you are a remarkable woman and your deserving IPs are very lucky to have found a donor who is so enlightened. May you carry the torch proudly and pass it on with joy.

Babydreams xx :hugs:
PS. the injections are a breeze...a little ice on the area beforehand and you won't even feel it. I'm a total needle-phobe and can manage it. The first one's weird, but you'll be fine after that I promise.

[FOURtunate]

Aawww Babydreams. There you go making me teary again.

It is my hope that my story inspires others to donate their eggs. I promise that my experience will be laid bare here for all to see, over the coming weeks. No secrets, No touch ups or glossing over.

Thanks again to my Bubhub sisters for the cheers! Can hear you all from here.