For those who were disappointed...

[BigRedV]

Did you find at at ultrasound your baby's sex?

A friend of mine was telling me the other day that she knows someone who just had a baby boy. She was really hoping for a girl and was bitterly disappointed when he came out a boy. She didn't find out on ultrasound the sex of the baby.

I was thinking it may have made it a little easier and give time to think about life with a son.

My friend had her fourth boy last year and cried for days after ultrasound and then got help from a pyschologist before her son arrived.

[Pina Colada]

I have a friend who is pregnant with her 3rd son, and desperately wanted a girl.

She found out at the ultrasound as she wanted to deal with her emotions and disappointment separately from the birth :yes: She has come to terms now and is happy :)

She is also telling everybody (nobody knows that she knows the sex except for me) that she has decided she wants a boy after all, to avoid all of the 'pity' she knows she will get after the birth if everybody knows she really wanted a girl.

[JustUs3]

No and I'm glad I didn't.

We honestly didn't mind if we had a boy or a girl so we decided not to find out, we had a beautiful baby girl.

[Amara]

I found out from the amnio so new for certain at 16 weeks. I am glad I found out early as I was certain I was having a girl and was quite shocked by the result. I would have hated to have that shock at the birth. Sounds silly but when you are certain that its a girl and its really a boy it is quite shocking. That shock did not last long though.

[~Temet Nosce~]

I found out the sex's of both my children at the 20 week scan. I was not wanting a certain sex either way, but it was more so I could bond with my baby more before he/she was born iykwim? I named them, talked to them, referred to them as he/she.

eta. finding out ds's sex helped in my dd bonding with him before he was born too, she knew she was expecting a baby brother, not just a baby, she knew what to expect.

[The Fox]

I desperately wanted my baby to be a boy but that was only because i KNEW i was having a boy from really early on, my mum kept telling me it was a boy and i just had this feeling, so at my 20 week scan I had to know because i was so certain that i was having a boy i talked to him as a boy and really bonded with my baby boy, so i went into my scan feeling really nervous that they were going to tell me it was a girl and then i would have to bond with a new baby and grieve the baby boy that i had bonded with. Might not make much sense but when they confirmed i was having a boy i cried i was so relieved.

I didnt even care before i was pregnant what sex my baby would be it was just once i was pregnant that this happened
I wont find out next time because i really dont care what i have

[Sheer Bliss]

:yes: I wanted another little sister for DD, and found out at the scan it was my DS. I had a tear in my eye when they said it, and DH had a grin from ear. He didn't look at me, because he know i'd be disappointed. I went home, and tried to get into the swing of being excited about a boy, called my family - sort of fake it until you make it. It worked - I went shopping, got him a few cute blue things and started going through the clothes my sister had from her DS and got really excited. NOW I wouldn't change a thing - love, love, love my little boy!!! :cloud9:

[1+1=5]

i have always wanted a daughter so we found out with both of my boys and i will find out with this one before birth as well.

i was very upset at the ultrasound with Noah (not so much with Owen as we knew we would have more). I had a good cry and by the time he was born, we were really looking forward to meeting him as i had time to process it all.

i don't know how i will deal with it this time around when i'm told i'm having another boy :laughing:

and i'm glad i found out before hand. its torture waiting. i think if you don't care what you have, then it would be nice to leave it a surprise.

[gidygirl]

We didnt find out... we didnt care what the sex was as long as he/she (now known as ds) was a healthy baby and he was and still is!!! we're pregnant for a second time and wont be finding out this time either

[The Girls Only Club]

I found out with this bubs that Im having a girl.
I cried after the ultrasound as I really wanted a boy.
My heart still wants a boy but Im alright with a new little girl,so many cute pink clothes,only problem is cant decide on her name

[nugglyboysmum]

I have always wanted a daughter and knew I would have some disappointment if my bub was a boy, so decided to find out the sex at 19 week ultrasound. I had a pang of disappointment when the ultrasound dude first announced that it was a boy, but after that I was excited and once we named him and started to bond with a boy it was great. Had I not foudn out the sex I would have held out hope for a girl and been disappointed at the birth.

If i ever have another baby I will find out the sex again so I can bond with my bubba better.

[Ffrenchknickers]

Finding out for me was great....it allowed us to choose their name straight up and I felt like I bonded with them early on.

[Nomsie]

We found out at the morphology scan.

1) Because name choosing was so hard. I had girls names on a list as long as my arm, and no boys names before we found out they were boys. As it was we only decided on their first names about a month before they were born, and B didn't have a middle name til he was a few days old.

2.) Because if we were going to fork out a lot of money gender neutral stuff, and then want to celebrate we had whatever they were once they were born with gender specific stuff... it just seemed like a waste. So, right from finding out, we knew we could ignore all pink stuff! :p

3.) Because DP is impatient. :yes:

And if I'm ever pregnant again, I would find out again! I now find myself getting frustrated with people who don't find out! :laughing:

[BigRedV]

I now find myself getting frustrated with people who don't find out! :laughing:


Me too. :o

I have 2 friends who are pregnant, one found out she is having a girl, I am having a boy and my other friend doesn't want to know.

I know she really wants a girl and already has a son. She has said she will go for number 3 if this is another boy but doesn't want to find out :confused:

Too bad for her if she has a girl as I have already given loads of DD's stuff to my other friend who is having a girl.

[iMischa]

i found out with both and im glad i did, i would have gone batty if i didnt, i desperately wanted a girl both times, so when both times i was told they were boys, it gave me time to adjust and spend another 20 weeks mentally preparing for life with son(s). i would hate to be handed a baby and feel sad because of the sex, so finding out for me was definitely the right thing to do, had a couple of weeks of sadness but then went nuts buying blue and was thrilled when my boys were handed to me :)

[raisingthree]

With my first baby I honestly didn't care what I had and I didn't find out. I was so happy when he was born.

I really really wanted a girl for my second baby, mainly because my husband (now ex-husband) didn't want any more children so I sort of thought this is my only chance to have a girl.

I was bitterly dissapointed at the ultrasound, I cried for days afterwards and felt judged by other people who thought I didn't have a right to be upset. I got used to it before the birth but can't honestly say I was excited.

When he was born, it took a while to bond but when he started to smile and became his own little person, I loved, loved, loved him so much. He is a totally DIFFERENT boy to my first son and I love him for who he is, not what sex he is.

When I fell pregnant with my new husband I was shocked. I didn't know how to feel, but when I found out I was having a girl I was very excited.

Now - I can honestly say that she is the hardest baby/toddler of all three, shes very high maintenance. I love her and I love shopping for girls clothes but if I had another one I honestly wouldn't care and I wouldn't find out.

[Ritali]

We didn't find out the sex at ultrasounds with either of our boys, as DH is a big believer in being patient and waiting for the surprise at the end.

With DS1 I was happy to wait for the big surprise at the end, because I really didn't mind either way - just wanted a healthy baby!

With DS2 I (and everyone around us) would have LOVED a little girl. DH however was dead against finding out so we didn't. Our of wishful thinking, I somehow convinced myself we were having a girl, so to be told he was a boy after he was born was actually quite a shock, and I'm ashamed to say it, quite disappointing and I was sad for days (in fact, some days, almost 12 months later, I still have my sad days). In the few days following his birth I laid in my hospital bed and cried a couple of times, so I really think, if I'd found out beforehand, i would've been prepared for it, and not have been so disappointed about it all. I hated being sad at a time where we should've been celebrating a happy, joyous time. I think the hardest part of all was how I stupidly got my hopes up for a girl. if I'd known from 20 weeks I would've had time to process it and deal with the possibility of never having a daughter (we were only going to have 2 kids), and would've have felt so stupid or had to listen to all the "better luck next time" crap when we announced it was a boy.

I honestly can't say I agree with all those people who say once the baby is born, their sex doesn't matter. Although you do instantly fall in love with your child, there can still be disappointment over the sex, and for some, that disappointment can be long lasting...

[mum2bubba]

I found out at the u/s. I'm glad I did. I admit I was a little disapointed that I was going to have a boy, but it didn't last long. I am happy I have 3 healthy children. I'm not really sure why I was disapointed as I already had 2 girls anyway, I guess it didn't help that most people I told I was pregnant would say things like "oh I hope it's a boy" or whatever, as if a third girl would be a burden or whatever.

[4babycinos]

Yep, I found out with all 3 and will find out with this one as well.

I was pretty lucky and got what I wanted with all 3 and had a strong inckling what they were - the 19 week scan just confirmed my feelings.

With this one, no inkling, no idea - I just keep thinking twins :eek:

[Zoe85]

DH and i were not going to find out our babys sex. Then we decided to at the last minute when we went for the ultra sound. I am so glad we found out, because we were hoping for a girl and found that we were having a boy. I felt sad for days after I found out, and was so angry with myself for feeling that way. But it gave me time to think about it, try to picture what it would be like to have a boy. I also thought that he is a boy because he was meant to be. I started thinking about all the positives. Like teaching me to look outside the box. When someone would tell me that someone they knew had a baby girl, I would be so excited for them and think that it must be fantastic. When someone would mention a boy, I would just say, "thats nice". Sadly to me a boy was less special. My Son has taught me different. I cannot believe I ever thought that way. I had never had much to do with boys, even all my animals were girls and I bonded with them. To me the males were just breeders, nothing more, and I didnt see their personalitys. But wow, how special and precious is a little boy.... I love mine so much. If anyone told me now that a boy is less special than a girl, well, go jump! I would think "what would you know? My Son has changed me so much, for the better, in the 10 tiny weeks since he was born. Thankyou my precious Son...

[RHJ]

I didn't find out with my first 2 babies. I had no real preference. With my 3rd, i REALLY wanted a girl, so did find out at my 20 week scan. And i am SO glad that i did. When he was born, i had no disappointment at all, as i had 17 weeks to get used to the idea. I was able to name him and bond with him before he was born. It did take a little of the excitement out of the birth, but it was still amazing :D and i was SO glad that i found out.

[Fuchsia!]

I had Gender disapointment with my 1st, i didn't find out the sex, but i wish i did. I was convinced and hoping so badly for a girl. He came out a boy and what i went throgh was horrible.

So when i fell pregnant with my 2nd again i had my heart set on a girl so i decided to find out the sex in case it was a boy so i could mentally prepare myself if it were a boy. Which it was. When he said boy, i was shocked because i didn't feel disapointed! I was so relieved that i wasn't going to have GD again!

If i have more, i know my heart is set on a girl. So im unsure on how i will react of its a boy again. Im a bit hesitant.

[faroutbrusselsprout]

I had another boy...after losing a baby girl. I didn't find out at the ultrasound as I was just so glad to have a healthy baby.
But deep down I knew that wasn't really true...:(
I knew he was a boy and I'm glad now. It made her existence that extra bit special and kept her as something "different" to my other two boys. The universe obviously wanted me to treasure her memory as my daughter just a bit longer, another girl may have overshadowed her somewhat.
I am convinced I will have a daughter, I really am. I see it and feel it.
But we have decided next time we won't find out at the US, as the feeling of carrying around that tiny suprise is just too addictive. Anyway..if it's another boy I'll go back for another! :D

[BlessedWithBlue]

yep we found out and im glad we did, i cant say i didnt feel a little disappointment with the last 4 boys (including belly bub) because this is my sixth boy and of course i would have loved to experience parenting a girl but it wasnt to be and i was able to deal with those feelings before baby came into the world. We are totally excited about this little guy coming in just a little over 3 weeks i am well and truly over the initial disappointment i had felt at the ultrasound.

[MummaBear03]

Was a bit different for me. I didn't really care what I had and had already lost one of the twins and remained very sick so had concerns over the health of the baby. However, during the pregnancy we were all convinced (doctors and all except one cousin who insisted it was a girl) that I was having a boy. I was having frequent ultrasounds and with each one I was still having a boy! So the whole time I was calling this baby by the name I had picked out, and the nickname which is the same nickname I kept with her even to this day. So when she was born a girl I wasn't disappointed about having a girl, but confused about where my son was. I was like "Oh that's a sweet baby, but where's my boy?" and they said "You have a girl not a boy!" My cousin said the whole told you so stuff lol. So yeah, talk about confusing a woman who had just given birth :laughing:

Don't think I ever really got over it either, I still want my son back and have a feeling the baby I lost was a boy although it was too soon to tell on any scans :(