Mum & mum?

[brogeybear]

Hi all!

I just was wondering what your children will call you? I guess in hetero families, its kinda a given that it will be Mum & Dad, just wondering, will you be Mummy & Mummy or have different names like Mummy & Ma, or Dad and Pa?

Serious question too, Im interested and this is NOT intended as a joke.

TIA

[Bron]

I'm not in a same sex relationship, but have several friends who are. One couple with kids has the kids call the parent who gave birth to them "Mum" and the other parent an abbreviation of her first name followed by "mum". So it might be Mum and Bron-Mum or Mum and Liz-Mum or something. That's how their family works.

[rainbowmums]

Hi,

We've decided on both of us being called Mum. It doesn't create a difference between birth mother & non-birth mother.

I've read in a few different books that if you use your name e.g. Mummy Sue Mamma Jane etc that eventually the children will just use your name dropping the Mummy/Mamma.

It's also the most accepted term used in society. We hope that it will be easy for DS's future school friends to understand that he has 2 Mums.

:flowerz:
Me 42
Her 36
DS 9.5 mths

[Leeee]

we've been tossing this up. mum and mum would get too confusing. i'm thinking maybe mummy (to become mum) and mama? or something? dunno. would be interested in what other people do cos we don't want to just both be mum for our own sanity, i want to know who my children are talking to lol

[MimiGrace]

i have wondered this as well :yes: i only know one lesbian couple with a child, but i know that he calls the none-birth mother by her name (which i think would be heartbreaking for me personally)

i think i'd want mama though, cause i hate 'mum' :p
so mamma/mama, and mummy/mum :thumbsup:
i assume gay men would do the papa and daddy/dad thing then too :D just have them duke out between each other who gets which one

definitely no first names of parents imo :no:

[Leeee]

no gosh no. plan is dp has number 1, i have the rest up to hopefully 3 or 4. i want them all to know me by the same name. and i don't want that to be my first name. even if i did that would be awkward cos my name is emily and our first girl will be emma lol
i have a feeling i'll end up being the one who gets called mama which seems the easiest way to do it for me but honestly that's suuuuuch an old-fashioned word! but i refuse to be called 'mother'. eew.

in the l word tina and bette refer to eachother as mama t and mama b. but i don't want to do that. mama e and mama p. noooooo way.

[Fuchsia!]

On the L word the little girl called them Mama t (her name was Tina) And Mama B (her name was Bette)

Oh i just realised you mentioned that in your post empeg!

[Leeee]

lol tis all good. can't wait for season 6 to be released in australia! apparently it's gonna be the last season though. wahhhhhhh

[ShellKiz]

Hey girls,
Well i carried so im mum but my partner is called Mim. We picked it up o a lesbian couple we know. Mim is mum in another language, just not sure which one.

:sunshine:

[baby0105]

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to put my 2cents worth into this topic.

My partner and I have a five and a half year old DD and up untill she started school she called me (birth mum) mum and DP Mumma. That was untill I spent some time at the school and children were coming up to me and saying
" j*&%a has two mums ".
I spoke to DD about this is asked her what she would like to call us.
She stated that she would like to call both of us mummy, so I guess for now that is what we will be called........

Thanks

[MummaBear03]

My friends have a little bubba who can't talk yet, but one calls herself Mummy and the other is Mama. As he gets older they're hoping he'll say Mum and Ma but have also said that as he grows older, they will find what fits with them. My bestie's niece says Mum and Mum but when talking to other people says Mum then the first name of the one she's referring to. It hasn't proven to be confusing for her and she's in her 20s now and has grown up with 2 mums in a time when it wasn't 100% accepted in society and even went to a really elite private school in Melbourne and was never teased or anything. It was her norm and her reality and everyone around simply accepted that.

[twoblondemums]

Hey we are a young couple looking to start our family soon and we have talked about this and have come to the decision that I (birth mum) would be Mum/Mummy and my partner would be Mama. We also did toy with the idea of Muddy, being Mum and Daddy put together but then we figured that when at a school age he would get questions about it too much.....Hope this helps a little x

[brogeybear]

This is very interesting. So many different options that I never thought of before coming up too. I don't think kids these days will have any problems accepting it, but I have to say MummaBear, its a great experience your neice had for that "era" (best word i could think of LOL). I am just a bit older than her, and there was definitely a lot of teasing when I grew up, regarding sexuality, whether it be of the child or the parents.

[trishalishous]

My biological Mother is Mum, and my stepmother I call by her first name (my mum repartnered when we were teenagers, after falling in love with her best friend, so it was strange to suddenly call her Mum), but our kids will call them both "Nana"
I wont call my MiL "mum" regardless of how much she wants me to (she doesnt accept my mums, and refuses to acknowledge my step mum at all!)
Mummabear, I also call my mums,"mum" in 3rd person, but address my stepmum by her name.

[Bellini]

My sister and her wife will be Mum and Mummy :)

They were going to be Mum and Mama but decided that it sounded too similar, and they think the 'ey' sound will better differentiate the two names.

[MermaidSister]

Just an observation on this, the other day in the shopping centre we saw a gay male couple with a little child and overheard them talking, where the kid was calling one parent "Dad" and then "Dad" referred to his partner as "Mum" when talking to the child. Ie., one gay man was "Dad" to the child and the other "Mum".

My partner thought this was really weird, but i guess if it works for the couple, why not. G & L friends i have sometimes say that one of them has more of the "masculine" or "feminine" role in the relationship, and i guess this was the case for this gay couple i overheard. Anyone else do this?

[lulululu]

I've heard of same sex female couples that do the mum and dad thing but personally don't know any. We went with mummy and mumma. We figure later it'll be shortened to mum and ma, but if the kids chose something else that's fine, well as long as it's not offensive.

[Rainbow Mum]

I know of one lesbian couple, where one partner is very butch and their kids use Mum and Pa !

We use Mummy and Mumma !

[ontheway]

We use Mum and Mumma, see below :)

[westiegrrl]

Hey :)

I know some people who have a 5 year old daughter and she calls both of the mum's mum, it seems really natural and that they always seem to know who she is referring to/talking about!
My partner and I are currently expecting our first child and I think we will just be mum and mum as well because i feel that it would be more comfortable for us both (spec my partner who is non-birth mum) and that as in the above mentioned case, we will end up knowing who he/she is referring to just by instinct!

[fickwalker]

We plan on DP being called Mum/Mummy and me being called Ma/Mama. Works for me, I'm first generation Australian and grew up calling my mum, Mama. DP grew up calling her mum, Mum. :)

[hierophant]

Our plans are for me (first tummy mummy) to be Mama and for DP to be Mum. I just like Mama better as it "suits" my personality better than the word "mum" does. Of course when the child is older they probably won't want to call me Mama but they can decide what works for them when they're old enough.

I know of other s/sex couples who use the foreign language equivalent for 'mum' or 'dad' from their ethnic origin. So, for example, a dad with an Italian background might use Papa instead.

In another family I know, one child calls her grandparents by the word 'grandma'/grandpa' in Egyptian on one side of the family, and in Maori on another. It's just lovely as she has 4 different names for her grandparents.

[tink2312]

We've had much discussion over this! Didn't like the idea of L world styling momma L or K's so we are opting for mummy for myself as birth mother and mum for Kate.
Kate's sister already has 2 children with her husband and the mother in law is referred to as mama which I'm not very happy about carrying out with ours purely on the basis that I think having a mum, mummy and a mama will be just way to confusing, but perhaps I'm just being a little awkward ;)

[brogeybear]

Hang on Tink, so the grandmother is called "mama"? I've never come across that before, I have heard of Ma, but not Mama for a grandma...

[tink2312]

yes :no:
Apparently it stemmed from the eldest not being able to say grandma or something and it stuck! Which I get you know whatever they want to do, still leaves me less than impressed though! lol.

[MamaBleech]

My step-sister is the biological mum and her partner is MaFi (Mama Fiona)... :)

[MamaBleech]

yes :no:
Apparently it stemmed from the eldest not being able to say grandma or something and it stuck! Which I get you know whatever they want to do, still leaves me less than impressed though! lol.

lol are you my relative? I'm the eldest grandchild who couldn't say Grandma and our family got stuck with a Mama as a result!

PS you can't possibly be a relative, as you are in the UK but funny coincidence. :laughing: