How do you do it?

[leearna]

I have been a single mum for nearly 2 months now, and it just doesn't seem to be getting better.
I have a 4yr, 2yr and 3 month old, and am separated from my husband because he was cheating.
He was a pretty good father, and he loves his kids alot, but they can only speak to him over the phone or see them via web cam, because he is in another state. My daughter is taking it pretty hard and has been so difficult these past few weeks. We don't get along and all she does is scream and yell at me and tells me she hates me.
Everyday I'am in tears because of her and the situation I'am in. I speak to my husband everyday, he is feeling pretty sorry and is saying everything he can to try to get me to come back. How can I try to not contact him as much?. It is such a habbit because he has been in my life for nearly 12 yrs since we were 15. But I'am just so angry and hurt by him as well.

Does anyone have any advice?. Does it get any easier?. I just want to start feeling normal again:(

[wana_b_lil_mama]

i feel so bad 4 u...i wish i had something 2 say or a piece of advice 2 give u but i dont...i have never been in ur situation b4...
all i can tell u is that u r are very blessed and things happen in life 4 a reason..alot of my friends are single mums and we just say the bes thing u can do is move forward and concentrate on the things ur life that really matter...ur priorities...:yes:

anywhoo...no-one deserves 2 b cheated on...but sometimes mistakes are made and i kno ur hubby would probably b regretting whats been done..
all the best and God Bless!!:hugs:

[babyboo]

Well, i cant say ive been in exactly your situation. But i was with my ex (dd dad) for 10 years. We have now been seperated for a year and a half and we now live in different state.

He didnt cheat on me but we fell out of love with each other, but his utter lack of support over the past 1 1/2 yrs didnt help. Dont need it now, i do very well on my own.

I agree it is very hard when you have spent so long with one person and they are all you know. You basically live and breathe them and then all of a sudden your world is totally rocked, cause you are staring it (the world) in the face, on your OWN.

The only advice i can really give you is to somehow take some quiet time (on your own without the kids), maybe at a park or something and just give yourself a moment to think. I found this very helpful and healing. And think about what is right for YOU. I have come a long way and only now have found my own strength, not a strenght that comes from having a partner, but MY OWN strength. Just be careful, as i found, when you come out of a relationship like this you can be very damaged and vulnerable and it can be very easy to make the decision to take the person back. Try to remember not to make hasty decisions. Take some time out for YOU, dont rush, try to chill out a little.

I do believe that cheating is not a forgivable act and if two people are right for each other and connecting it wont happen, in my opinion.

I can only say this and offer my advice because i have been through the most whirlwind past year and a half that i have ever know and felt feelings that i have never felt and have astounded me. As i too was young (17) when i met up with dd's dad. We had her 3 years ago.

I would suggest not calling him everyday - STOP!!!!! You need to consiously (be alert) tell yourself not to call him. When you feel like you want to - be strong and say 'no, im not going to do that' (might take some getting used to, but it works, trust me lol) and divert your attention to something else.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk or bounce anything off me.

Oh....... and it does get easier...with time and healing, you will feel normal again.

[Will]

I cant offer any advice as such as i have never been in your situation, but just wanted to send some :hugs: to you and the kids!

DD will settle down in time, I think with anything new the little ones take it pretty hard. But she DOES love you and she will settle down.

You are a great Mum and have done what is right for your family. You need to look at for yourself as well as your kids as they will not be happy if you aren't. It is very difficult to not call your EX and it is hard, but you dont need to spend the money calling him, maybe call a friend instead? It will get easier as time passes. Just never forget that you are a strong women with wonderful kids and you deserve so much more then your ex has offered you. :hugs: