View Full Version : to do it or not......circumcision!!
has anyone thought about or actually had their lil boy circumcised?
im not to bothered as i dont know alot about it, but hubby really wants our bub to get it done!!
i talked to the midwife today at our check up and she was very negative towards it. can anyone tell me anything bout it, experiances or info.
ta.x
please no negative opinions on this, as i know it can be a touchy subject. thats why im looking into it. ta :)
I had a midwife sit down with me the day we were discharged and asked what I wanted to do. I explained that it's something we'd like to get done, but unsure of the avenues. She said that all I have to do is ask my doctor for a referral and he will give me one and he will also have a list of doctors who circ.. and that they prefer it done before 8 weeks.
That all said, I don't think I can be bothered getting it done now LOL seems like a big money/time/effort when it's really not needed for the time being. For it being the 'norm' these days to be uncirced and I'm sure we'll stumble through 'how to clean it' when we get to that stage.
wana_b_lil_mama
03-08-2006, 10:34
i think depending if u r a religious couple...i kno alot of catholics still believe in circumsison.anywhoo if u aren't religious..then on the other hand in later stages of a boys life they have to know how to wash properly...isnt there some problems later on if not circumsised?
thats what i've been told...but i'd research up on it...hope this helps?
Sara's Boys
03-08-2006, 10:54
I think it fairly out dated and unnecessary. I think it was previously perceived to be a safer option, but all the men in my family are not circ and have never had any issues with regards to health. I am not sure if this is inapprpriate but in my relationships sexually the foreskin has a purpose and can change intamacy. The foreskin the males natural lubricant. I do not think we should remove any thing from any of our children.If we didn't need something that our body has, we would have evolved to not have it at all. I think the only reason why it should be performed is if there is a medical issue or a strong likliness of a medical issue.
I also think that circ for the reason of making boy look like daddy is the wrong reason.
Not meaning to be negative in any way, but I can't see it even as an option mine and my husbands bodies made a life whole and complete, who am I to alter it for reasons other than medical necessitiy. He is perfect jus the way he is.
I don't want to talk about this is public for fear of being shot down......
WE got my DS done - he is now 4....you are more than welcome to PM if you would like some more info on a POSITIVE....:)
tweedledee*tweedledum
03-08-2006, 11:01
i think depending if u r a religious couple...i kno alot of catholics still believe in circumsison.anywhoo if u aren't religious..then on the other hand in later stages of a boys life they have to know how to wash properly...isnt there some problems later on if not circumsised?
thats what i've been told...but i'd research up on it...hope this helps?
Don't think it as much a Catholic thing as a Jewish tradition, I've never heard of Circumcisions being a part of the Catholic culture?
I do NOT want to get shot down with the comments I am about to make as I am simply giving the original poster some info as requested, it is not necessarily a view I agree with, so here goes:
There is a procedure that is done now that is supposedly non-painful. It is a Plastibell which is a small ring that fits inside the foreskin, over the head of the penis. A string is tied on the outside of the foreskin, so that the foreskin is compressed between the ing on the inside and the string on the outside. It is felt that this procedure is the best one as the clamping cuts off the circulation to the foreskin so that there is no bleeding. The clamping cuts off the nerve supply so that it should be quite painless as it will be numb. Because the plastibell is sitting on the head of the penis, it accurately defines the level of where the circumcision occurs, so there is no risk of too much being cut. No dressings are necessary, as there is no blood and no chance of infection occuring, so the baby can be bathed as per normal and the ring seperates of its own accord after a few days. It is not unlike the cord tying procedure, however it is a bit more involved and is obviously not something everyone wants for their son. I hope this info helps you with your decision and remember that at the end of the day it is YOUR choice and you will receive flak, but if it is something you really want then it is up to you, your child will not be scarred for life mentally or anything like that, my brothers were done and nothing bad ever came of it.
i have also had our little boy done but i dont really feel the need to get abused by other either... But please PM me if you would like to know more and i would be gladly help you on a positive note.... :)
thanks to the few girls who did give me some feedback, appriciate it.
so if you wanna ask peoples opinion please allow negative opinions on it as you can see 54 people said yes to circumcisation and 163 said no in that last link i posted,
Lee81 asked for experiences or info. Not opinions.
wana_b_lil_mama I am surprised you mentioned Catholics? I'm a Catholic and I've never heard of one Catholic doing it for religious reasons. I know Muslim do it to both boys and girls and that's for religious reasons.
I do know people who've had it done for medical reasons. We've thought about it. But have not decided on it yet.
Just located this site... Am going to have a read myself. The benefits of circumcision. (http://www.circinfo.net/)
sorry if i was rude or offended anyone but i thought just a private msg was much of a nicer way but your so so so welcomed to ask me anything...
Ok, I've done some major editing in this thread.
Please respond only to the original posters question. She is looking for information not opinions. Not why or why not, but how.
There are many threads about this topic already with heaps of information. If you go to the Circumcision section you can change the settings to view all of the threads, not just the most resent ones.
Please keep it nice.:)
This is a link to a thread with page after page of information.
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=4159
Happy reading!:)
I find this to be a really good article
http://www.infocirc.org/MensHlth.htm
It's an american site so the actual procedure might be different but the article is a very interesting read!
Edited to add - in the end it is up to you and your DH to decide but take the time to really research it. I know people that have done it simply because they wanted to and later regretted doing it. At least if you go in with all the facts you have made the decision that you and your DH are most comfortable with and no regrets later on!
semazani
04-08-2006, 04:05
Here is my experience with circumcision.
I was blessed with three boys and one girl. My three boys are circumcised and I have been doing research this past week about circumcision. I first started questioning it a slight bit in the last few months. My nephew is intact due to problems at birth and they were unable to circumcise him. I have found myself advocating keeping him intact without even really knowing why. I started thinking more on the subject after talking with Yoshua. I made a comment about the Case against Circumcision board and he let me know his thoughts. He is quite the advocate for keeping boys intact. We talked back and forth all this week through PM's and IM's. He even encouraged me to post on the board though I have to admit I was a bit intimidated by the idea. I was not sure how it would go over. I had a lot of things going through my mind at the time and wasn't sure of much of anything. I was also dealing with some unexpected feelings that came to surface which had little to do with circumcision; at least I couldn't initially figure out the connection. Yoshua was unwavering through all my questions and doubt. He always had a way of making his point without offending me or making me feel like I should be on the defensive. I have made the decision after much thought that circumcision is indeed wrong and unnecessary. I really have Yoshua to thank for encouraging me along. I have a thread in Case against Circumcision if you are interested in following a small part of my journey. Here are my stories.
My oldest son has a typical circumcision as far as I could tell. He is now eleven years old. I remember when he was circumcised in the hospital he was five days old. He weighed four pounds five and a half ounces. They weren't sure if they were even going to circumcise him because of his size, but decided at the last minute to go ahead with it. I remember being so upset when they brought him back to me and I changed his diaper the first time. It looked so sore and raw. I remember when the doctor came in to look at him and check the circumcision my son's hand inadvertently hit his penis separating the skin along the shaft from the head of his penis. I remember thinking that probably wasn't a good thing and the doctor even commented about that not being helpful. They just advised me to keep changing the bandage for a couple of extra days and he would be fine. We never had any other issues and his circumcision seemed to heal fine. However, now I wonder, after looking through some of the pictures, if he will have issues when he hits puberty. His circumcision looks very similar to this photograph I found on one the sites showing complications. http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/images/slide8.jpg (http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/images/slide8.jpg). The remaining skin under the head of his penis is a bit tighter than the one in the picture. I always thought it healed that way from the way he hit his penis. I never even thought about it until now. I can only pray that he won't encounter problems as he grows and matures.
My middle son was circumcised at three days old. I never even thought anything of it. I just viewed it as a procedure that was done. He had what I believe is termed a loose circumcision. He didn't even appear to be circumcised most of the time. The head of his penis remained covered unless we pulled the foreskin back which we were told to do at each cleaning. He started having issues with adhesions when he approximately six months old. I was told by the pediatrician to just be sure I pulled his foreskin back and clean really well. He showed us how to pull the skin back so that the entire head was exposed. I remember how much my son cried and screamed when we did this to him. I was supposed to do this each diaper change so the adhesions would not return. I couldn't do it all the time, so I would try to do it once a week. He would cry for a day or two each time we did this to him because the skin was torn from his penis and it would cause pain upon urination. The pediatrician finally referred us to an urologist who recommended we have him circumcised again. He said the adhesions would keep coming back and the re-circumcision would prevent further issues. At eighteen months old my little boy was re-circumcised. After the surgery, we were brought to him and he seemed just fine. When the doctor came in, he wanted to show us how to care for his penis as there were eighteen stitches just below the head of his penis. You couldn’t see them when you took off his diaper because the remaining foreskin was still covering most of the head of his penis. The doctor instructed us to pull the skin over his penis and gently clean around the stitches. My son would scream and cry because of all the pain he was in, but we were told the stitches would become infected if we did not clean it properly. My son spent the next several years in fear of anyone touching penis. We taught him how to clean and pull the remaining skin over his penis, but we still would have to clean it sometimes for him. It took my husband and me to clean his penis. My husband would lie across him so he couldn't move and I would pull the skin back to clean it. I tried to by gentle, but it didn't matter. We continued doing this until he was close to five years old. He is now eight and he is in charge of cleaning his own penis. The head of his penis is still covered about halfway and he spends a lot of time pushing on his penis to get it back in what skin remains. He said it feels weird if it is out and he does not like the feeling. I would also get on him about doing this because it bothered me to watch him constantly pushing on his penis. I will no longer be reprimanding him for this as maybe it will help to save some of the sensitivity that I am sure will be gone once he grows and matures. I can only pray he doesn't loose as much as his brother who never had any skin covering the head of his penis.
My youngest son was circumcised at three days old as well. He has a loose circumcision as well. He had always appeared to not be circumcised. I used to have family ask me why we did not circumcise him. When I said we did, they would always say they did not take enough off. We did not have the adhesion issues with him as we did with his brother. He seemed to do just fine. I made sure to be more diligent in pulling his foreskin back and cleaning it because I feared a repeat of what happened with his brother. My youngest son is now five years old and I can say he had picked up on his brother's cues to push his penis in the remaining skin. The head of his penis is just now starting to be seen most of the time. He is intent on keeping the foreskin over it as much as possible. I used to reprimand him as well for "messing" with his penis. Now, I remain silent and pray for him as well. I have more regret than I ever thought I would for subjecting my boys to this unnecessary procedure. There is nothing I can do now, but pray they will understand and forgive me when they realize what I allowed to happen to them.
Thank you for taking the time to read this small novel of mine. It has actually helped to write it down and I hope it makes some amount of sense.
Semazani
Your post left me speechless. Thankyou so much for sharing such a personal story and your own feelings and experiences. I know that it took you a lot of courage to bear your soul in this way. But I also know that sharing your story here will help so many people who are making a decision about circumcision.
We all need to have as much information as possible when making our parenting choices. Your post is valuable information that is a great benefit to any parent who is weighing up information in preparation for making this decision.
Thank you once again.
twolittlegirls
04-08-2006, 12:54
lee81,
good luck with your decision! we don't have a boy yet but if we do have one I (and this is my personal opinion!) believe it is my husbands decision. he is for it.
Hope all goes well!
Shan
i had my boy done using plastibell method is was ok no infections and it just dropped off within 5days and all is ok.my friends son had to be done at 13yrs old because sand got under foreskin and infected it and to see what that boy went through at age 13 was sad, im not saying that this can happen to everyone if you clean it correctly, but make sure you talk to your partner about it in the long run its your choice he's not old enough to make decisions so its up to you but make sure its something you really want because you cant take it back.if you want more info pm me i will be happy to tell you, i dont want to be judged for my reasons
ifoundmyglory
09-08-2006, 21:43
We got our little boy done just about a week ago (On the day he was 19 days old), with the plastibell method. Yes i was scared because i didnt want my little boy to be in pain and nor did his dad. But it all went well, and it fell off last sunday night.
& If you are going to get it done be sure to have a doctor with a good bedside manner, the doctor we had was good at his job but very rude and short with us. && ASK all the questions you wish to ask, dont be afraid make sure you know all you need to know before you go ahead with it.
GoodLuck.
i am sitting here with a film tube taped to my penis, which is strapped over my shoulder. Something that i have to do for many hours every day, for many months.
it is a crude method of "foreskin restoration".
However that term is misleading. I am not actually restoring my foreskin. That is impossible. It, along with its thousands of fine touch and stretch receptors are gone forever.
foreskin restoration involves constant tension applied to the remaining shaft skin, and over many months and years it is possible to have enough skin to resemble a foreskin.
I am doing this because I, unlike many circumcised men, am aware of the fact that i am not suppoed to have hairy skin that is pulled up to compensate for the skin loss, over half way up my penis. I also realise that erections are not supposed to be uncomfortable, because there is not enough loose skin to accomodate an erection, pulling the testicles high into the abdomen.
And i also realise that the glans is supposed to be sensitive, and actually feel good to touch because it, like the clitoris is supposed to be an internal organ, until arounsed.
However it took me 21 years to realise these thigs, and there are many men who do not and never will.
Foreskin restoration is an emotionally draining task, and the best i can hope for, is still not as good as sex as nature had intended, which I will never be able to experience.
What I am angry about is the fact that i was put in this position in the first place for no good reason, and that some guy with a knife, was allowed to permanently alter my experience of sex.
There was no medical reason for my circumcision, and it would be a lie if i said i can forgive my parents.
i am sitting here with a film tube taped to my penis, which is strapped over my shoulder. Something that i have to do for many hours every day, for many months.
it is a crude method of "foreskin restoration".
However that term is misleading. I am not actually restoring my foreskin. That is impossible. It, along with its thousands of fine touch and stretch receptors are gone forever.
foreskin restoration involves constant tension applied to the remaining shaft skin, and over many months and years it is possible to have enough skin to resemble a foreskin.
I am doing this because I, unlike many circumcised men, am aware of the fact that i am not suppoed to have hairy skin that is pulled up to compensate for the skin loss, over half way up my penis. I also realise that erections are not supposed to be uncomfortable, because there is not enough loose skin to accomodate an erection, pulling the testicles high into the abdomen.
And i also realise that the glans is supposed to be sensitive, and actually feel good to touch because it, like the clitoris is supposed to be an internal organ, until arounsed.
However it took me 21 years to realise these thigs, and there are many men who do not and never will.
Foreskin restoration is an emotionally draining task, and the best i can hope for, is still not as good as sex as nature had intended, which I will never be able to experience.
What I am angry about is the fact that i was put in this position in the first place for no good reason, and that some guy with a knife, was allowed to permanently alter my experience of sex.
There was no medical reason for my circumcision, and it would be a lie if i said i can forgive my parents.
I am also in the process of restoring my foreskin. What this man says is exactly true word for word.
It is actually so emotionally draining for me, because during the process I get angrier and angrier at the fact that I HAVE to do this to be in the natural state that I stop restoring for weeks on end to not be depressed.
This process can take up to 3 years normally to fully restore enough skin to cover the glans.... mine will take 5+ because I can't do it every day like most people who do this.
Yoshua and Andrew, thankyou for sharing your stories. I hear so many people say 'I've never heard of a man that wished he wasn't done' but I have read quite a few stories like yours, during the time that I researched circumcision (I have never even considered it, but it was a topic I wanted to research regardless).
I wish you both all the luck in the world and hope that you can achieve the result you want. Good luck!
blessedmummy
13-08-2006, 19:08
hey all.. it doesnt really bother me, its everyones own discision in the end, doesnt really matter really to me, i mean they used to do it in the bible times, so (just an example thats all) anyhow, hope this helps anyone.. :)
Me25
DH25
Emily3
Clare22months
(maybe another one one day??????? that is the question!)
the_queen
14-08-2006, 10:31
hmm, they used to have slaves in bible times too. Anyone know where I can get me a slave???
dont wanna turn this into a debate but they didn't circ in the new testement for biblical reasons.....
read Galations 5.
Milliner
15-08-2006, 17:42
I am also in the process of restoring my foreskin. What this man says is exactly true word for word.
It is actually so emotionally draining for me, because during the process I get angrier and angrier at the fact that I HAVE to do this to be in the natural state that I stop restoring for weeks on end to not be depressed.
This process can take up to 3 years normally to fully restore enough skin to cover the glans.... mine will take 5+ because I can't do it every day like most people who do this.
Thank you for sharing I do not want to state my opinion as it is not related the original question. I am very moved by your stories.
bouschka
17-08-2006, 03:47
Yoshua & AndrewJ,
Thankyou for speaking up on this. I have no children, am not pregnant, do not worship under any faith & my partner is circumcised but my brother was not. Circumcision is something I have merely wondered about without coming to any real conclusion.
Now that I am actively researching conception, pregnancy, labour & parenting, I'm seeing so much unnecessary medical intervention. Thank you for giving some insight into this issue. My heart goes out to you both.
Simone
My specialist gave me a really great and simple answer when I asked him about it as we knew we were having a baby boy.
He simple said there is equal support for and against having it done, research shows it's an even 50 to 50% split of boys being done, and if one parent wants it done in his experience get it done.
I didn't mind too much either way but my husband really wanted it done we went ahead on day 4 and had it done while still in hospital. My little man cried and was quite upset by the whole process. My girlfriends little boy on the other hand sleep right through the procedure so you really don't know. My little man settled very quickly though and we had no worries after the initial upset.
One of my girl friends 40 year old husbands had to be done recently as he kept getting infection after infection and they could't tell him why - he obviously wished he'd been done as a baby.
My husband was done at the age of 3 and said it is his earliest childhood memory and not a pleasant one.
My older brother was done as a toddler because of other medical issues.
My newphew was done as a 6 year old.
Just a few stories of people who should have been done as babies.
I guess it's the same as vacination we do it to rule out possible problems in the future.
All the best and enjoy your little one
Rae
flowerpot21
18-08-2006, 21:56
i have yet to hear a good reason to have it done. lots of maybe's and possibles. i still drive every day despite the possibility of having a crash. i still put my chappie to sleep despite the risk of SIDS. he has had one medical lintervention already and i would never choose to have something done to him for a vague possibilty of something happening in the future.
so it's a 'not' from me... and also a 'why?'
Holly_Golightly
19-08-2006, 20:29
My poor Dh would be mortified if he knew I was posting this but I think it is important. Thankyou to the other posters.It is good to hear some real life experiences.
My DH's parents circumcised him as it was the done thing. After the procedure he was in constant pain and the wound seemed to never heal. He needed to be recircumcised. The experience was so traumatising for his Mother that she refused to have her other son done even though this was against their tradition.
Today my Dh has some scar tissue that has a lumpy appearance. I remember asking what it was for fear it was an STD of some sort. As he was circumcised twice obviously more skin was removed reducing the length. It is not something we talk about a great deal but he does wonder how it has affected his sensitivity and appearance. I know he was quite self conscious when younger.
My husband does not want any future sons done.
I certainly have my own opinions on this topic but will refrain from posting them here.
spiritedfamily
20-08-2006, 10:12
My hubby is circumcised (done thing 30-40 years ago) and he wondered if our boy should be done, mostly because of hygiene reasons and that he looked different to Daddy...so we decided to ask our doctor and he said it wasn't necessary and didn't advise us to do it...I have had similiar responses from others in the medical profession...so we have left it....I think the possibilities of is it went wrong...concern me the most.
My hb is done, is not happy about it and would never consent to any boys of his being circumsized. He was actually done pretty much without consent as his parents werer migrants and didn't understand what they were signing for - his mum told me she really regrets having him done and would not have consented if she'd realised :mad:
I am very much against it - my father and brothers aren't done and none have had any trouble as far as I am aware. It seems a totally unnecessary medical procedure done for cosmetic reasons mostly...........and how would you know what your son will want his penis to look like in the future? If he wants it done, he can always get it done himself.........his body, his decision IMO.
Y
I thought they only used to get it done ( in war Days?? ) because they couldn't wash very often and because of that it was cleaner. Which would make it most unnecessary these days!
semazani thankyou for sharing this with us... it was very moving for me to read.
i have one son age four. and it is my family religion to have boys cut. i wanted him done... my gp was all for it. but when my son was born at 33 weeks and only 4lb. everything changed in my mind- i thought i should wait a few weeks.
the pead came in to do his checks and i asked him about the circ- he said his f/skin was already coming back and if i did circ him i could have some problems with it not being done properly. i asked like what.. and he went on to tell me exactly what you have just posted- too much skin / not enough skin.
at the time i just thought id leave it be till he was a little bigger then talk to my gp about it some more.
at his 6 week check up i asked my gp about it and he said the same thing as the pead. and also to clean it well in a daily bath and he shouldnt have any probs as a child.
he did get an infection at 18 months when i started toilet training... but all in all im so glad i didnt get it done and after reading what you just wrote i am now more sure than ever it was a good choice for him.
so thankyou again
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