Second child through IVF?

[eesmummy]

Hi,
Not sure if this is the right spot to post but seemed like the most relevant section...I have just joined today, really to see if there is anyone who has had 2 successful IVF pregnancies? I am 35, and blessed to have a beautiful 14 month old daughter, conceived through IVF..We are now wanting a second and currently trying naturally for a while, but I am not hopeful. We are not sure we can go through the emotional rollercoaster of IVF again.. Just seeking inspiration really from anyone who has managed to have a second child through IVF?? :o

[EarthAngel75]

I personally havent had a 2nd thru IVF yet (first dd was thru IUI, now baking ds who was thru IVF) but I have known many many people who have.

Two of the last ladies who were in my due in group when pg with dd went back and had FET's when their first one's were only 7mths old and both got BFP's that very first FET!

I will be going back when DS is 11mths old and have a go with our 3 frosties which im pretty confident 1 of the 3 will give us our BFP.

[amum21]

Hi girls

Well as you can see i am just about to have my second little miracle in 4 weeks (hoping for 2 weeks). We were lucky to be blessed with our son on our very 1st IVF cycle, we then tried again and got pregnant on our 4th cycle (i never get to freeze any eggs so it's an antagonist cycle for us every time plus surgical sperm collection for DH, sadly we lost that little one at 6 weeks but little did we know that i have a blood clotting disorder, so roll around cycle number 8 with the help of acupuncture, clexane injections and tons of kiwi fruit and here i am, so very very very exctied about meeting our next little one.
My advice is never give up or give into the process, i am a very stubborn person which i think helped me, especially to have done 8 full cycles over the past 6 years. I have to say i am very proud of myself and thankfully my wonderful DH was happy to do as many cycles as i wanted.
So good luck ladies, i'm here if you have any questions or just want to talk......

[Sonja]

Hi girls

I have 2 beautiful girls thanks to IVF. DD1 is 4&1/2 years old and DD2 is almost 1. We had no trouble conceiving DD1 but a lot of trouble conceiving DD2. Don't know if it was because I was older (I was 36 when TTC#2 whereas 32 with #1) or what it was but we got pregnant with DD1 on our 2nd attempt but with DD2 it took about 16 embryos (fresh and frozen) and a lot of heartache before we were successful. We had 2 frosties after DD1 and I had always hoped to complete our family with them but sadly it didn't happen.

What kept me going was the knowledge that I'd done it before and it would happen again. It just took a lot longer than I was expecting.

We're hoping for one more baby and once I've weaned DD2 and got my cycle back we'll hopefully have our last frostie put back. If that's not successful we'll maybe do 1 or 2 cycles depending on egg quality and then stop. I am extremely happy with my 2 girls and while I'd love more I'm realistic about my age and chances and the strain of doing IVF with young kids.

I just wanted to give you my story (very briefly) so you get all sides - hopefully you'll get pregnant with #2 much quicker than we did - but IMHO I wouldn't leave it too long in case it does take you time.

Good luck and feel free to ask any questions.

[Jax Tellers Old Lady]

Hi there

I am lucky enough to say that yes I have two wonderful miracles from IVF. My son is four and he was a success on our first attempt. Our baby girl who is 14 weeks was our third attempt. We tried a frozen transfer on our second attempt and failed so we did a fresh cycle for our daughter. Its such an emotional process but yes it definately happens.I wish you all the best and hope you get your miracle:hugs:

[jfblady72]

hi

thanks for the thread...its actually something that has been on my mind a little...even tho im still waiting for #1 to appear in June :goodvibes:, i have a feeling that we "might" try for a #2 ( more so that we dont have an only child if possible)...however i have a lot of reservations cos it took 2 years of ivf heartache and so many dissapointing cycles to get to where we are.....so Sonja im interested to hear how u actually mananged it!!! i just couldnt bear the thought of having to do another 8 cycles, well i couldnt do it basically..... i was thinking if we do it i will have to have a limit but im afraid that once i get back on the rollercoaster its hard to call it quits :confused: and you keep thinking next one will be it.????.......does this happen? im just hoping that if we do, i will have a different prepective cos it took 8 goes for #1 IYKWIM and i'll know when to quit...i would be happy to do it if i knew it will work first or second go.....i have no frosties and will be 38 by the time i can go back so there is a lot to consider and no time in which to do so.......ppl's opinion is really interesting about it. thanks.

[Sonja]

JFBlady one of the hardest things after I had no. 1 was seeing all my mother's groups friends conceive no.2 so easily. I started to worry about silly things like age gaps and other things we lose control over when doing IVF. I was the last person out of my mother's group to conceive #2, and some days it was tough.

But I pushed thru by focusing on all the things I could do with one child which I knew would have been impossible if I was pregnant with or had another baby. If Lucy and I were driving and saw a playground, we'd always stop and stay as long as she wanted. I also put a time limit on feeling sorry for myself after each BFN - as she got older it became harder to hide the tears so I just had to push on and (I hate this phrase) "get over it".

Like I said, having had one baby was a huge help in knowing I could do it again - there were a lot of times I doubted it. I often did back to back cycles and went very hard at it - in the end I changed FS's and got my BFP first time with my new one. So I did do a lot to get there in the end.

I also had a lot of support from my mother and DH. DH took over the care of Lucy if we had a BFN and I was too down, and my mother came and stayed with us when I was having EPUs. Without their help I don't think I'd have got there. My work was also very supportive.

Scarlett is definitely our miracle baby and despite a lot of difficult days since her arrival she has brought us so much happiness I'm so glad we just kept going.

[blondekelli]

Hi Ladies,

DH and I have also talked about number two. We've decided that we will use up our frosties (4 miracle frosties.. who would have thought!!), and then call it quits. I will be 40 this year and I just dont think my eggs have it in them anymore... but JFB I know what you mean, once you get back on the rollercoaster its hard to not think that the next one could be the one! I also think its getting less and less affordable which is really sad.

DH seems to think we will have a miracle 'natural' pregnancy after this one.. at 40? He told me last night that he thinks he has 'super sperm' now that he hasnt smoked for 1 year :laughing: Gotta love DHs eternal fertility optimism!!

[jfblady72]

thanks sonja for your perspective...i just wish i was 2 years younger..( i would have been if got pg on round 1) ....LOL dont we all. i imagine that yes some women i will meet will just get pg with #2 at the drop of a hat and it brings back all the woes of trying for #1 and getting left behind when the whole world seems pg with #2 (arrgghh how i hated those days and ways)....and kel yep, the cost is becoming prohibitive, a major concern.....i worry about not being there for #1 bub and missing out with him / her cos im busy with ivf YKWIM ...i worry i will neglect the bub in some way cos i was extremely stressed and self centred and quite depressed at times during ivf..but i hope that maybe the time it took to get #1 may "protect" me from getting too down and stressed if it doesnt work and this may make it somehow easier to cope with rather than having had ivf work first round etc (ie you have high hopes that #2 will happen the same way??? very hard to understand why it doesnt etc )....i know that is probably fantasy on my behalf....but well i can dream that it would somehow make it easier which makes me more likely to have a few go's.....!!!!

PS kel, my DH has always had "legendary" sperm and i know he was secretly quite chuffed about it.....he also thinks we could still jag a natural bfp.....TBH i couldnt even be bothered trying!!!

[Sonja]

JFB you've hit on a lot of things which can happen when TTC#2. I feel like the time we were TTC again is a bit of a blur, and I do believe I was often more focused on what I wasn't doing (ie getting pregnant) than on living in the moment and enjoying every minute of my time with Lucy.

But the prize is so worth it. As hard as it is to go thru IVF not knowing if you'll ever have a baby (and that's extraordinarily tough), once you've had one baby you know how wonderful it is and what it is you've got to lose if you never have another one.

Anyway, once I realised it wasn't going to be easy to have #2, DH and I just found ways to manage IVF with a toddler and it was ok.

I believe everything happens for a reason and TBH I think I would have been a really cr@ppy mother of 2 under 2 so having a bigger age gap (we have 3 and a bit years) has been a huge help with coping with the demands of a baby and another child. But if it had happened earlier that would have been wonderful. And if we are to have #3 the age gap will be smaller (as I don't want to be doing this for too much longer).

But honestly don't worry about it until you've got #1 out!

[eesmummy]

Thanks girls for sharing your experiences :)
I'm glad to know it's not that uncommon. I felt really lucky having fell pregnant on our first ISCI cycle. I remember after egg collection feeling really upset that they collected only one egg, and being told by the nurse that one egg doesn't usually result in pregnancy.
Except she's here now so I proved them wrong lol
I wonder what the chances of that happening again are, but then I suppose I will never know to we try!

[michelle_bh]

I was so glad to find this thread....!

We were lucky enough to have our DS on our 1st FET cycle and he was born April 2009. We had 5 x :sleeping: left and were CERTAIN that we would at least be lucky to fall with our second and final miracle with those. We knew all along that we wanted a close age gap and would start TTC for #2 in Jan of this year.

The IVF journey gave us BFN's with our first 2 cycles - each we had 2 x emby's put back. Our last BFN hit hard, as all along I had said we would not do another full cycle we would just be happy with what we have....

Now knowing we have only 1 x frosty left and statistically that this will not work either, we are contemplating another full cycle. Its true what everyone is saying - once you are back on this rollarcoaster, its very difficult to stop. In a way, I find it more difficult now that I know what I would be giving up since I have our DS. I feel incomplete, like we are missing a family member, and I know that I will not be able to stop until we achieve our dream again.

I applaud you for wanting to start early, I am glad myself that we started early so that with each BFN I know that we still have time to achieve the age gap we want with our babies. I think as long as you know the minimum age gap you want you should start trying, because who knows how long it will take....

[moongazer]

We too have talked about going back again for #2. Realistically I would love to have 3 kids, but that may not be an option for us. We planned to start in about July this year, but if it happened naturally before then we would have been happy. Now I have just had a LLETZ procedure for an abnormal smear, and my review is in July or thereabouts. If all is normal then we could get going again, but realistically that probably wouldn't happen until August or September with scheduling appts etc. However, we are not aloud to try naturally during this time. I'm sure DH thinks he has supersperm now - stopped smoking 18 months ago, and generally a healthier lifestyle, and I regained my AF the month after DS was born, despite full BF! It would have been nice to see if anything happened - but like JFB said - I also couldn't be bothered, and definitely wasn't holding my breath.

I think that now I have a DS, I would be trying to set boundaries on allowing myself to grieve, like Sonja did. I hope we will be successful I came from a family of 4, and love my siblings to death. We are all so different, but so close. It would be a shame if my son couldn't experience a family similar.