Abilities of an almost 3yo.......

[Sheer Bliss]

My DS1 is 3 next month....and TBH the testing three's (I know he doesn't mean any harm, but BOY is he testing the limits ATM) are in full swing, but on the other hand, I don't know if I am expecting too much of him. He is a big boy (off the charts on head and weight and just on for height) and thanks to hs big sis speaks pretty good, but his comprehension makes it obvious he is an almost 3yo.

So today...he chases his sis about the brekkie table and after 3 times of being asked to stop, it's time-out untl he can calm down. Then he comes out and starts it AGAIN. Surely by his age he can remember what he has just been in trouble for? So after poking his baby brother in the eye and hopping down from the table AGAIN (and a few other things), I shut him in the toy room (with a kiddie gate) and ask him to clean it up before he can come out and help me and his older sister build the cubby house under the table. He sits in there and plays. Every time he asked to come out, I reminded him the room needed to be tyidy first. It went on for an hour before I had enough, went and sat in there and instructed hm one thing after another of what to do (which is often what I do when we are cleaning up together....today, I just couldn't be in the room with him to start off with :o)

By now....at almost 3 - should he be able to follow the simple instruction of put all the toys in the toy box before you can come out and play? Or do I expect too much of my poor boy, and I need to sit with him as he does it? I worry about him being held to higher expectations because of his size and the fact that I also have the 2 bubs to look after, he doesn't always get what he needs. Add that to other parents also judging him on the way he behaves with the 'smaller' children (that he is either younger than or the same age as) when out - I feel bad for my boy, but also need to get him to a point where he understands (that is also age appropriate) Hope that makes sense - LOL.

[Leisa21]

Honestly I would say yes bit I think sometimes I expect too much of my 2.3 year old. He's comprehension and talking is great so I often expect a little much. Thankfully hubby is there to remind me how young he is. I think it sounds more like he's testing the boundaries rather than not understanding the instruction. If you've got time it doesn't hurt to stay with them but it's easy for me to say, I only have one.

Sorry if this doesn't help :)

[mim1]

Sorry, but yes you are probably expecting a bit much. They do have very short attention spans at 3 especially if tired. Asking a child of 3 to tidy up the toy room on his own is asking too much of most 3 year olds. If you're with him to guide him & help him he'd probably do fine.

Yes, there need to be consequences for deliberate disobedience, but I recommend just sitting him down somewhere (eg. just in the corner of the room where you are) and asking him to sit there - only keep him there for a minute for each year of his life (so 2 minutes at the moment). Then, when the time is up (using the oven timer works well) go over to him and calmly say "Remember that mummy asked you to stop running and you are sitting here because you kept running. Say sorry mummy" If he says "sorry" then he can get up.

That works well for my ds. But when he's overtired he will constantly disobey and randomly when he's feeling stressed he will want constant attention, so will be dreadful simply for attention. In this case I just sit down and give him 1 on 1 attention for 5 - 10 minutes and it usually settles him somewhat.

[TurnedBatty]

I'm going to say no, he should be able to recall a simple two step instruction ie "put toys away and then you can come out." he us probably just testing you. Granted, I always double check when the kids clean up, a few toys are always left out.... Darn males

[JLeesmum]

Yes, there need to be consequences for deliberate disobedience, but I recommend just sitting him down somewhere (eg. just in the corner of the room where you are) and asking him to sit there - only keep him there for a minute for each year of his life (so 2 minutes at the moment). Then, when the time is up (using the oven timer works well) go over to him and calmly say "Remember that mummy asked you to stop running and you are sitting here because you kept running. Say sorry mummy" If he says "sorry" then he can get up.

.

i think persistance (sp?) is the key, EVERY time he plays up, sit him there for 2 minutes (on a naughty mat, or always in the same place). ask him if he remembers why he is there, if he doesnt remember, explain it to him. get on his eye level so it doesnt seem like like youre towering over him..

i dont have a 3 yr old, i just watch lots of tv..:yes:

and you can buy "naughty mats" from thingz..

[Shanaynay]

Twinya just a very brief reply as I'm on phone.
Evie is much the same and she is almost one year older. Though, people don't usually expect more from her because she is so little!
They CAN follow simple (and complex!) instructions, they just don't want to!
I know frustrating it is sometimes. I will tell you about the day I had with Evie last week......and you will be thankful of little Nick! xx

[jaq]

I think tidying up a room is too complex a task for nearly 3yo to concentrate on. I think they need more guidance than that.

My girls know that they need to tidy up the lounge before the TV goes on, so they will do it happily. However, while Annika (5 in July) will systematically clear everything and put it away on the shelf, Sofia just tends to stare about at the mess, and want to play with everything as she puts it away.

However, if I ask Sofia to "pick up all the books", she will do that quickly and efficiently. "Mummy, I picked up all the books!" and she will be PROUD. Then I ask if she'd like to pick up the jigsaw puzzle, and she's happy to do that.

I think its about not overwhelming them with a task - make it small and concrete, and easily achievable, and they'll enjoy doing it.

But like Mim says, its all about picking the time, too. I don't bother to ask my girls to do much at all between 5 and 6, say ... they are just basket cases as they get more hungry and more tired.

[Sheer Bliss]

:hair: So a little from column A and a little from column B :laughing:. When we are cleaning up he usually does get little tasks....pack up all the blocks, then pack up all the little people. I was just so over it and tired today that I just couldn't be in the room spoon feeding him like that. :o At least the common thought is that it IS better to keep giving him one task at a time and eventually he will get there.

He is a stubborn Taurus too, and he has a habit of tipping his head to the side with a different look on his face when he is 'playing' me and he wasn't doing that this morning....I guess I was just too darn frustrated to notice...poor boy! He had a BLAST in the cubby house after though - so at least that is good!

[Leisa21]

I think it depends on the child too. My son will pack up all his toys in one go in two minutes sometimes but other times just wants to play and not pack up. For me, I know he can do it but I try not to be too pushy if he doesn't. Sometimes I get frustrated and get cross at him and feel so awful for it. Sometimes winningthe battle is not worth it. I could battle for hours some days and I swear it wouldn't work. It's a tough gig sometimes.