Worried Worried Worried.. again..

[murrythecat]

saw a friend at the shops today.. we were chatting about a friend of hers who is having custody issues with her ex.. he fought her for 50/50 and the kids seem to be really suffering from what she said.. they spend half the week in one house and half in the other! the new partern is even called 'mummy Christine' or something.. it's all kinda terrifiying! they are fighting for full custody.. it just makes me want to vomit hearing stuff like that.. see they are double income and the other girl is a single mum so apparently they would be likely to get full custody.. also my mother recently told me of a friend of hers who also had her son taken away.. full custody to the father when she had always taken care of him..

how often does this happen.. I know I don't really know their circumstances.. but it sort of makes me sick to my stomach.. my ex doesn't want custody so it's not an issue.. but he's very needy and will latch on to somebody soon.. it's only a matter of time before he is partnered again.. and then he (or 'they') will want more custody as he loved the 'family' ideal of life (but not the responsibilty).. I know I'm getting away ahead of myself.. and worrying over something that hasn't happened yet.. but I nearly died bringing those children into the world (literally).. I've looked after them 24/7 since they were born, breastfed them and worked my **** off for those kids.. and I'll be damned if I'll let anybody take them away.. I won't even settle for 50/50! one of my kids is still a baby for gods sake! they are so young (8 months, 2 and 5).. it just freaks me out to think somebody could just take them away from me 50/50 or more!!!

I let my ex have as much access as he wants just now. it's not a problem.. but worry he will want more and more (although my mother assures me ex is very very lazy and the thought of 3 demanding kids is more than he will want). Also my mother assures me that most ex's new partners won't want somebody elses children round 24/7 and those other examples are rare cases..

what do you girls think? it just makes me want to vomit literally.. the thought of not seeing them everyday/night.. they are my babies. It makes me wonder, horror of horrors, if I should have just put with with ex's behaviour and let him stay.

[Fuchsia!]

Its something i worry about all the time. Lucky for me, i live 4hrs away and the only way he would get half half is if he moved here. Which i know he never will cause he hates the country.

I have no advice, just want to send you :hugs:

[mimsie]

I have a friend who does 50/50 each week, half a week each with her ex husband and it is horrible. Similar circumstances to what you've described OP, except for the going for custody bit. The kids play their mother's guilt, and their father does nothing to help. It's just horrid to watch, really. The kids suffer because of it, definitely.

[Edweena]

I think new partners are a big worry. I think that was the reason for Ex taking me to court over custody.
I hear you about you putting in the time and almost giving your life for your babies and I think that should count for something unfortunately the court is an impersonal process. Their view is for what is in the best interest of the child but the fact is they don't treat each child as an individual even though there is nothing as UNEQUAL as treating UN-EQUALS, EQUALLY.

Maybe trying to stay amicable with Ex will help and if you can move (the distance might be a deterrent??) And I don't mean give him every thing he wants but talk and work about compromises.