Is This Normal?

[noodle_nut]

Hi All & Sundry, I am de-cloaking for the first time since January this year! Now that my bub has arrived I am beginning to see the advantage of having the support network this forum brings. I've been following many of the threads for months now and am familiar with many of your stories even if I am a stranger to most of you!

Anyway, my little one is trying my patience at the moment and I simply want to know if her behaviour is normal or we are doing something terribly wrong!:confused:

She's only 11 days old, we've been home for a week now. The nights in the hospital were horrific and sleepless (mainly due to her being hungry and my milk not being in) but then when we got her home, she slept for hours at a time and we thought we had been delivered an angel. Unfortunately, the last 3 nights have been torture. SHe feeds (BF), sleeps and behaves well during the day but as soon as the sun goes down, she becomes uncontrollable! Screaming and fussing, nothing comforts her. I feed her but I think she just gorges and the projectile vomits her whole feed at least twice a night. We've been up until 3 or 4 o'clock (that's starting at 9.30 when she wakes in the evening). I am absolutely beside myself by the end of it and when she finally goes down, I am so worked up my sleep is fitfull and pointless.

Every time I hear her make a noise from her bedroom, which is here next to the computer room, I get that terrible rush of adrenaline and stress thinking it is about to begin again. I know how my stress levels can influence her behaviour but I'm at a loss. Will this end, is she too little to understand what's going on? In the middle of the night I feel so helpless and angry at the same time. I'm frightened I'm going to start to resent her. I've waited so long for this child to come into my life that I'm terrified I've made a terrible mistake.

SOrry to rant but I really needed the vent!

[Mrs AJC]

Hang in there. She's new at this too. If it weren't for my mum and DH I would have totally lost it, even with them I lost it a few times. The first 8 weeks are the hardest, you really don't know if what you are doing is right. Unfortunately they often start crying for one reason but continue for another so there can be a lot of guess work involved and you never really know why they are crying (sometimes you get it right the first time and all is fine, but most times its hit and miss).
When they tell you that you will know what the different cries are, I think it is total BS. DS is nearly 8mths and I still have no idea which cry means what.
You have not done the wrong thing!
Just remember that if it all gets too much put baby in a safe place like the cot and walk away for a few minutes. As hard as it is to hear your precious baby cry sometimes it is safer for them if you put them down and go put the kettle on.
Look forward to the eight week (or there abouts) mark - this is when they give you their first deliberate "I love you, thankyou for taking care of me" smile:D . Things don't seem so bad when you get a beautiful smile from bub.
How long is bub sleeping during the day? She may be overtired (had this problem with DS only he would scream all day and only have two 1hr sleeps then crash in the arvo then have half feeds and fall asleep so was feeding every hr and half at night).
Contact your early childhood centre or hospital and they can give you a referal to a place you can go and spend a day or a few days and nights to get a system working for you and they can see if there are any serious problems that should be looked at further. In Sydney there is Dalwood and Tresillian.
You are doing a Great Job!!!:yelclap:
This is the hardest one in the world - Every mother will attest to that

[aprilbaby]

Hi Noodle,

Firstly, 11 days is sooo early and like the other Mum said your bubs is learning everything as much as you are and it does take a while until you both get the hang of it. Rest assured you will though! Our first night home with DS he screamed from midnight til 7am and I wondered what we'd signed up for, but he's never done that again and I still don't know what caused it?

In my experience you do start to learn what cry means what but it takes a few weeks, or even a few months until you're confident enough to know. That might seem like a long time now but, trust me, my DS is 4 months tomorrow and it goes in the blink of an eye.

It really is a process of elimination as to what's wrong and how to fix it and even then you might do something 5 times and have it not work and on the 6th time it will. I reccomend reading as much as possible, but keep in mind everyone has different opinions as to the best way to parent. Personally I don't go for the strict routines but it's whatever works for you. I've found Baby Love to be a great all round book to reference when you're not sure of something.

As was said before when you hit 8 weeks everything gets easier, as you start getting some smiles from your baby and they make everything easier to deal with. Until then, trust your instinct and know that it is a huge challenge but sooooo worth it.

I have a million othet things i'd love to say but my baby is crying so I have to go! I'll check in later but if you have any specific questions please feel free to ask and I'll try and help as much as possible.

Bub hub is a fantastic help so us it as much as you can. All the mms here are happy to help and give their words of wisdom.

Good luck. x

[whatwasithinking]

I felt exactly the same feeling of "dread" when my two were newborns.

It is extremly normal to feel this way. Everyone is new to this situation and it will all fall into place eventually (I know that's probably not what you want to hear).

They say the first 6wks are the hardest - but for me it took a bit longer.

Feel free to pm me if you want to chat and I'll be here (unless I am at work of course - but you know what I mean)

big huge hugs to all your family :hugs:

[aprilbaby]

Hi Noodle,

How are you feeling today? I was thinking about you and was wondering how you were doing. I noticed there weren't alot of responses to your post as that's probably a bad time for everyone getting dinner etc and no one has time to be on bubhub!. Anyway, feel free to pm me any time if you want.

Hope today has been a better day for you. Remember it's perfectly normal to feel exhasuted and overwhelmed alot of the time but I'm sure you're doing a great job!

[lj1977]

Hi there
I remember all too well the nights when we bought DS home from hospital. I never knew what on earth i could do to help him! But you are just getting to know one another and it takes time to work out what the little one is asking for. I do hope you have had some more rest. first 6 weeks so many people told me are SURVIVAL mode and its true. Your whole world has just been turned upside down, no book can ever prepare you for motherhood, but time and getting to know your little one do.
Keep doing what you are doing it will get better very soon...
Lisa