adopting kids from another country

[red crayon]

just wanted to run a few things by you wise old heads. as you know, we are living in vietnam and i've met quite a few people from countries other than vietnam who've adopted vietnamese kids. my partner has been keen on the idea of adopting and i would be happy to adopt except it takes years. anyhoo, this is not what i wasn't to discuss. if i did adopt, i think it'd be important for the child to maintain links to his/her cultural origins. what do you think? how do you ensure a child is aware of their origins and able to understand their cultural background - especially if you are no longer living in the country they were born in?

[Bron]

Hi Jacqui

I think that this is something that is strongly encouraged. I believe (I may be wrong and well out of date though) that adopting parents are encouraged to make links with local communities to encourage familiarity with that culture. For example, if you were adopting a child of Somalian descent, you may well be given contact details and encourage to make contact with prominent members of the Somalian community in your area.

In WA I know that the overseas adoption agreements are in place with a select number of countries, who already have significant cultural representation within WA. So establishing and maintaining relationships with people from the same culture is easier.

Obviously this comes down to choice, but I think it should be encouraged. Before too long school mates of the adopted child will make comments about how he or she doesn't look like their parents. If this child is empowered with awareness of the culture from which they originally came, then they should be more equipped to discuss these issues openly with their peers.

[draught]

Hi Jacqui

My aunt and uncle in the US have two daughters they have adopted from China. They have associations with an organisation designed to support adoptive parents of Chinese children, the girls attend Chinese language and culture classes on the weekend and they talk to them about their heritage. Of course, they live in America, so the girls are more interested in going to Disneyland, etc, but at least when they get older they will have some idea where to start looking for any missing answers.

[gidgeroo]

Hi Jacqui
My sister-in-law and her hubby adopted a little boy from the Phillipines and they have been able to connect with other adoptive parents who have adopted children from o/seas. Also they are ensuring that their son is bilingual by using simple Phillipino words with him at the moment and then they'll ensure that he has some formal language education later on.

They are lucky that they have a lot of information about their son's natural mother, her health history etc. Not sure what info they have on the dad.

I must say that they have worked really hard to connect with people in the same situation as them and they are always learning about the best way to integrate his culture with their own.

They have just been approved to adopt another child from the Phillipines so now the wait begins (can take 2 years).

[red crayon]

Thanks for your thoughts and ideas. My partner, Greg, had a recent experience where he and his two Australian co-workers were drinking at a local bia hoi (big room, chairs and tables, snacks and lots of cheap, locally made beer) and they were approached by a young Vietnamese guy with a broad aussie accent. He'd been adopted out to an Australian family just as the Vietnam War ended and had just decided to visit for the first time to find his roots. He spoke no Vietnamese and had little understanding of the culture. He commented that all locals assumed he could speak Vietnamese and were astonished to discover he couldn't. This is no way a comment on his adoptive parents. I just think it'd been really disconcerting/odd to look like one thing but not be that thing IYKWIM. To look Vietnamese but not be Vietnamese.

Gidgeroo - how long did your SIL wait before they adopted their son?

[gidgeroo]

Hi Jacqui

They waited around 2 years for their first son and he was just over 1yo when they adopted him. The Phillipino system is quite strict - no baby under 6mths can be adopted out just in case the mother changes her mind in that time. First preference is given to Phillipino people looking to adopt and then to overseas applicants. The Australian government has to approve you and then the Phillipino government has to approve as well - that's when the waiting period starts. Also there is longer to wait if they wanted a younger baby - this time my SIL would prefer a bub under 1yo as the effects of being abandoned/adopted out/orphaned are not so great and they seem to adapt better so they may be waiting longer.
hope that's helpful
cheers
Georgia

[red crayon]

Thanks, Gidgeroo - you've given me lots to think about.

[Lila]

hi
i am /well WE ARe in fact) more and more thinking about adopting a child in the future. we are not able to have anymore children ourselves, but LOVE kids and talked about adopting already years ago.
i actually quite like the fact of adopting a child from another country, because ME and my existing family get insight into another culture, which is just a gift itself.
anyhow, i know it is quite costy and i have heardt about numbers ranging from $10 000.- - $ 30 000.- AUD. does anybody know what to expect exactly, because there is quite a difference in 10 K and 30K :)

thanks a lot

[red crayon]

hi lilly. the only info i can give you is based on two women i know who've adopted in vietnam. one is italian and one is british. i say this because sometimes the delays can be due to your own government, rather than the authorities in the country you are adopting from. my italian friend waited three years for her adopted daughter and from her accounts paid quite a bit of money. i think she was happy to pay more to her lawyers to try and speed things up. our british friend has waited 2 years (i think) and hasn't paid as much because i think she was willing to wait and see what happened. the amount of money can vary because, and i'm sorry if i offend anyone, some countries operate on a bit of bribery and corruption. i don't have an aussie adoption stories but maybe gigderoo can help.

good luck.