View Full Version : ok, this is weird............
just wondering if anyone has been in a similiar situation to me....
I have a little girl, 14 months old and I am about 10 weeks away from having my next baby.
I have alkways wanted a Boy. ever since i was very young i can remember wanting a son.
When I found out my daughter was a girl i was disaapointed, but ok after a few days.
AT the 19 week scan in this pregnancy I found out we were having another girl. I was devestated. I desperately wanted a boy.
I had another scan at 26 weeks, and much to my amazememnt and surprise, they said, ahhhhhh no, you are definitely have a BOY!
I was overjoyed!!!
BUT........i started feeling like I had actually lost a baby girl. We had already named her, I had started bonding with her.... I really feel like I am grieving and my daughter has died...
I am findin it so hard to even get excited to buy stuff for my little boy????
This is such a strange feeling, i just dont get it, i should be over the moon, but im just not and I feel like im cheating my little boy out of what should be happebning.......:(:crying:
i understand :yes:
sure its going to take time to get used to the idea of having a boy. your grieving for what you thought the future would be. sure its going to be different now but its still going to be wonderful :thumbsup:
Hey hon what a terrible situation to find yourself in emotionally, what a rollercoaster! I think everything you are feeling is normal though. You mourned the little boy you thought you were going to have both with your DD and now with this baby, and then accepted and grew to love the little girl you thought you were having and now are having to grieve her!
Try to remember that your feelings towards grieving your little girl and accepting your little boy are mutually exclusive. As in, you can feel devestated about no longer having a little girl AND start to feel excited about having a little boy. Name your son, start preparing for your son, but also spend time healing over the daughter you are no longer having.
If you think it is really getting you down and overwhelming you maybe you could try talking to your MWs?
We were in pretty much the same situation weh we had DS (I have a 3 YO DD too) When we fell pregnant we knew that this was it (we are only having 2 kids) regardless of the sex.
At the 20 week scan (which happened at 22 weeks) the US guy said Girl so we were all geared up for a 2nd girl discussing names etc then due to him being a twin (the 2nd bub died at about 9 weeks) we had another scan at 30 weeks to check on his growth etc and he said boy (He thought but as bub was breach at that point he wasn't sure) so then we were all up in the air no idea boy or girl so we resigned outselves to a suprise. Then as I decided to have bubs in Brisbane rather than Darwin I had to have another scan (as the Brisbane technology is better and they wanted their own US of bub) so I had a final scat at about 36 weeks and so we asked and she was deff BOY see here are the testes. I remember walking through the car park thinking OMG its a boy and feeling a bit dissapointed.
I soon got over that feeling and am delighted with my little blue boy (who is one today) he is an absoloute delight and I feel blessed to have one of each.
I think it is the changing of the mindset that is the hardest part you are geared up and mentally prepared for one sex and then you are thrown a curve ball.
Good luck with your birth and enjoy your little blue bundle - Oh and I found once I bought that first blue thing it seemed more real too:D So perhaps a shopping trip is in order.
This also happened to me, i already had dd 1,i had then had a stillborn baby boy,so when i got pregnant again i still desperatatly deep down wanted another boy,but kinda hoped it was a girl,as i knew boys have a higher risk of being sb,so i found out i was actually having another girl i was kind of relieved,and a bit dispointed at the same time.I had my next little bundle named, brought everything for her and she had a freshly painted hot pink room and her name on the door. I had had 4 ultrasounds and all girl,but the used to hope by some small miracle it had changed into a boy overnight lol WELL .......it did, as ther dr pulled "her" out and said well this wasn't what you were expecting, and my first thoughts, were whats wrong is the she ok, and he held a nice big willy and sack in my face and i burst into tears :D So it was all perfect, i was less stressed cause i thought girl and got what i had longed for. But i have left a token fairy dress in his cupboard as i also felt like i had lost this little girl that i had bonded with,so much so, that 7mths and i finally last week painted the room blue, it help a bit i think ;)
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